LAST EDITED ON 09-21-17 AT 08:23 PM (EST)

Be The Survivor S35 - Sign Up Thresd - "Heroes v Healers v Hustlers" (AKA: "Our Sorting Hat is broken right now")

Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen, Transgenders, Crossdressers and those of you who haven't yet decided. I am Mark "T-Bone" Burnett, your EPMB, your Master Manipulator and your Benevolent Pimp for every country unfamiliar with the words "minimum wage".

It's obvious that CtheBS' marketing department has run out of gimmicks ... uh, exciting descriptors... so we're throwing the most athletic, most annoying, most strategic, most cerebral and most anemic into an island fishbowl and calling it Heroes v Healers v Hustlers.

Although we usually create tribes based on our contestants' resumes or primary life characteristics or Myers Briggs test results or Grinder profiles, that's not always enough. Apparently, we're using the same porn casting agents as always and throwing a net over the local bars, shelters and modeling agencies, so don't come crying to me.

Enjoy these collections of skin, bones and assorted organs as you select your "Heroes Healers Hustlers" "Be The Survivor" contestants.

Here's your Cast Members tapas menu:

Levu Tribe "Heroes"
Alan Ball (32)
Ashley Nolan (26)
Ben Driebergen (34)
Chrissy Hofbeck (46)
JP Hilsabeck (28)
Katrina Radke (46)

Soko Tribe "Healers"
Cole Medders (24)
Desi Williams (27)
Jessica Johnston (29)
Joe Mena (34)
Mike Zahalsky (43)
Roark Luskin (27)

Yawa Tribe "Hustlers"
Ali Elliott (24)
Devon Pinto (23)
Lauren Rimmer (35)
Patrick Bolton (24)
Ryan Ulrich (23)
Simone Nguyen (25)

Supporting Cast, Inanimate Objects and Assorted Snarkers:
suzzee Coconut Gallery (AKA: Nut Gallery)
kingfish - Identity motif TBA, Benevolent Benefactor of The Boobies.