The night before Thanksgiving and Survivors get stuffed. It's a Double Episode and as many Americans will discover after binge eating Aunt Edna's JELLO Fantasia Salad, double elimination is the only option.

And even as David reveals that "it's time to turn on each other", the stomach churning FigTayles continues off stage. Figgy leaves a "Dear Beachbum" letter which kept their relationship on the coin's edge. Meanwhile, Taylespin left a pregnant ex-girlfriend to come on Survivor, because he wanted to "keep his options open", but her uterus had other ideas.

So, no more FigTales. Instead Taylespin NexGen is coming. You have my full permission to begin binge drinking. Anything up to nitroglycerine and paint thinner.

Well, considering the recent US election results, feel free to indulge in that Turpentine Amaretto Sour... you'll be glad you did.

Mark "Kids Are Not Always Our Future" Burnett

Note: Some call this Episode 10 while others note it as 10/11. We'll adjust accordingly.