The Gufu Award was established for pointing out the dangdumbest game moves in Survivor each week. The original intent was simply to pay attention to what the contestants do and say that's dangdumb gameness, but from the outset of The Gufu Award noncontestant production stuff had a way of creeping in, so there are actually two categories you may cast your votes on, Contestant and Production. Please keep them separate.
Go get 'em!
LAST EDITED ON 02-27-14 AT 02:08 AM (EST)Production Anti Gufu: To be honest with you all, when I originally read about the beginning of game schoolyard twists, designated leaders and weak links for each tribe, I thought it was just more Probstian silliness. Something to feed the pre-show hype machine and, once the show was on and that stuff was finished, quickly and quietly forgotten. But it worked! 18 newbies and pretty much all of them fell for it, regardless of age, reverting to their teen/tweenie selves, giving us one of the funniest premieres wince I can't remember when. Kudos to whichever Probst assistant thought of it, certainly couldn't have been Jeff.
Contestants Gufu: See above, pretty much all of them drank the kool-ade.
1. Tony. Why lie? You admit you're a cop, but start lying some more? Could come back to haunt you. Trust. Loyalty.2. Jeremiah. Walking the fine line or playing a double agent is very risky. See above.
3. Brainiacs didn't have to go to TC, but J'Tal is still there which was such a big GUFU last week that I thought I'd mention it again.
Production: Water throwing. Big yawn.
Agman's Spring Fling '12
Contestant Gufu: Sarah. And now your allies have you pegged as the one who would come up with the idea of tanking a challenge, breaking a winning streak. Brawn is turning into a game of Bad Cop/Mean Cop.Contestant Gufu: Beauties. The egg thing.
1. Sarah. Like Dabo said. Never a good idea.
2. Brains. Losing the RC. Folding in the clutch
3. I never understood why they wouldn't build a nice shelter for the chickens, feed them and eat eggs for 3 weeks.
4. Tasha for saying are we in this to win challenges or go as far as we can. I wonder if she noticed that the two are connected sometimes.Production: The dive under water challenges are always tough, but to have a basketball-type challenge with an NBA vet in attendance?
Kudos to Spenser for giving his tribe a shot at it.
Tribe and Coco '13
Add "inept cop" to "bad cop" and "mean cop". They're supposed to have developed instincts for lying and shiftiness. Transparent cons should not deceive them.But the railings (height and design) in the RC, while they might be seen as an obvious nominee for this award, actually proved to be a pleaser for those sadists in the audience.
So I will take a moment to un-nominate the railings. I am a Survivor sadist.
Contestants - specifically Brawns who chose to go along with Sarah:
You don't HAVE to go along with everything suggested by someone else. Grow some and speak up!
MORGAN - You just attended TC where your alliance mate just got voted off and now walk back to camp as a tribe of five. You have no prayer of getting LJ's support and after writing down Alexis' name you can kiss her support Bye-Bye too. But hey...all's not lost...it takes three voters to boot you at next TC.
So what does she do???....AHHHH, let's throw Jeremiah under the bus in front of the others? Guess what Blowup Doll...that's #3! DOUBLE DUHHH!!!!Should Solana have to go to another TC, guess what former NFL Cheerleader will be taking her "pom-poms" with her down that Walk of Shame?
Luckily for her, the imminent Tribal Switch we saw in the Preview will more than likely bail her out.
LAST EDITED ON 03-20-14 AT 00:24 AM (EST)Oops, Week 4, hit the wrong key.
Contestants Gufu: Beauties Alexis, Jeremiah and Morgan. That's it, hand the game to the desperate Brains by stabbing each other in the back as much as possible. Spencer, a mini-gufu for labelling it high school. It's beauty school. Honey.
Contestants Gufu: Brawns (sans Sarah): BUAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Way to implode a good thing by targetting one of your own when it was, m'like, totally pointless.
Production: challenge #1. While they couldn't have predicted that virtually all of the old Brawn tribe would stay together after the shuffle, that challenge (which has been good in the past) was terrible with the mis-matched tribes, and IMO very potentially dangerous, especially when they had to mix genders. I really wonder if there were any rules? Could someone choke the "defender" (MMA style) and then drag the unconscious body over the line?Contestant: I have to echo the GUFU whereby Brawn has a 6-2 number advantage on the new tribe and incredibly vote out one of their own in the first vote. I guess we know why they are not on the Brain tribe (who haven't seemed very brainy).
Trish. Jumping head first out of her alliance because she likes LJ but Cliff doesn't do much around camp. Unlike a lot of contestants, Cliff actually brings home the bacon at challenges, so I'd cut him a little slack. A little. It has nothing to do with my NBA fanship. ;) Now brawn is up for grabs. We'll see how this plays out. Previews say it's a tough post-TC for Trish and Alexis.
Also Tony. What did it gain him to flip with Trish and go with LJ and Jefra? Now the former Brawns and Beauties are even with 5 members remaining.
Tony is a walking talking GUFU. Trish seem to be also.
Production/editing/anyone responsible for allowing the "twerking" discussion to make the broadcast:
For real this time.Production Gufu: The same puzzle for all tribes/players is fine most of the time, but this time it wasn't.
Contestant Gufu: Tony. Way too into himself. I mean, cute trick trying to put the target on Jeremiah, it ended up not making a difference, no biggie. But the Joisey Bragger couldn't help himself, he had to let his whole tribe know exactly why they shouldn't trust him. Duh-duh-duh!
Contestants: When Spencer (I think it was) won the first round against Woo, his idol flew up in the air over his head and so it hit the ground last. Whether intentional or not, every one of you should have learned from that and used it as strategy. Or if you had watched a previous season when a similar challenge was run.
Throw your idol high in the air while knocking the opponents to the ground.
duh
> Contestants: When Spencer (I
>think it was) won the
>first round against Woo, his
>idol flew up in the
>air over his head and
>so it hit the ground
>last. Whether intentional or
>not, every one of you
>should have learned from that
>and used it as strategy.
> Or if you had
>watched a previous season when
>a similar challenge was run.
>
>Throw your idol high in the
>air while knocking the opponents
>to the ground.
>duh
The better question is why Spencer didn't do it twice.
Contestant Gufu: Lindsey. Because Trish made you cry, you take your ball and go home. You are the lamest Survivor since...well, Colton, I guess. You followed Cliff out of the game. You have nothing on anyone. Your only meaningful action in this game was quitting. You are easily top 5 in lamest Survivors ever. And all this after claiming you needed the money more than anyone. Some mother you must be. "Sorry sweetie, I know we need to eat, but that guy cut us off in line at the checkout, so I'm quitting grocery shopping." If someone's mean to Lindsey, she quits. God save any employer who gives Lindsey a verbal warning. And frankly, I'm surprised her daughter was even born. If her girl's father called her a bad girl in bed, she probably stopped the whole thing.Also, for my next Gufu, I propose a riddle with three possible answers. The Rotu 4. Alex Bell. Tony the Terrible Cop. And the question? Name a person or group whose hubris sealed their own fate on Survivor. The only "top five" list you just joined is Top Five Arrogance-Induced Flameouts. Enjoy your Pagonging, idiot.
Production: The purple tribe partially won because Tony the Terrible copied off the orange tribe's work. There needs to be a way to stop this horse-poop.
Future Gufu: Sarah. What part of "top five" from Tony did you not understand? Are you really thinking of voting with him?
Nurse John and the Genrul.
Lindsey for quitting.
Trish for getting into it with her; drama is a bad thing.
Tony for his Top 5 comment and admitting he had lied about his job.
Alexis for pushing too hard and too loud.Good observation, JuneBug.
Good calls on all of the above Dakota.It was only last season when Kat did the same thing as Alexis (overplay the situation) leading up to the TC where Kat was booted. I guess some players don't learn from past history.
As for JuneBug's observation...I'm guessing Spencer did that on purpose because he seems like a slick enough player to think that up. So it REALLY makes you wonder why he didn't do it again?
Should this same challenge be recycled in a future season and Jeff advises all beforehand purposely throwing the idol up in the air is not allowed, we may have our answer. But until that is verified, we'll keep it a GUFU.
Contestant Gufu: KaosKass. What didn't she gufu this week? I don't know. On top of it all, she made certain the first member of the jury hates her guts. k'plow!
Contestant Gufu: Sarah. Cop shoots self in foot.
Yeah, she did herself no favors being indecisive and all wishywashyish.
RussHell: "I'm back! And I'm a girl! Gonna get me a Dumb Boys alliance!"It never stops being funny: Brains tribe!
Contestant Gufu: Kass. Obviously put on the Brains tribe because she has no idea how to manage people. In fact, extend that Gufu to all former Brains. Kass for letting her petty BS put a huge target on her back. Spencer for calling out Kass in a short spout of rage and creating a possible enemy. Tasha for managing everyone with a dumb-looking smile and the "kill with kindness" approach, which is proving ineffective.Also: Sarah, for trying to lord power and making herself a huge target. It was pretty much Amazon Christy meets George W. Bush.
Production: A raid, then a merge? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? So they're without comfort items for a couple of days. Big fracking deal.
Contestant Gufu: Spencer - Put the clue somewhere safe!Contestant Gufu: Kass - Doing an excellent job of ambushing her own game.
1. Wooo for taking the clue instead of just reading it and getting busted doing so. Spenser predictably went back to rally his alliance.2. Spenser for not keeping the clue closer and safer.
3. Kass. Estee even started a thread about her. I won't be redundant.
4. Morgan for deciding moments before her boot that she needs to get engaged in the game of survivor and survival.
Production: Not giving these nut cases anti-bacterial handywipes before sending them off to eat.
I haven't been able yet to watch this week's episode, just the start, so everyone jump in with everything gufuworthy.
Tony: The way you get rid of a threat within your own alliance this early on is to convince the other members it's time for that person to go, let the minority group know they're safe this week if they play along, and then it's X vs. 1. If you did it right, this means your own group still trusts you as much as they ever did and the Pagonging can resume tomorrow.This was kind of the opposite.
Your old group has been betrayed. The temporary? one is aware they can't trust you. Everyone who might wind up on the jury can now think of a reason to vote against.
You're being Kass. How does that work out?
Can't decide if it's a clap or a slap, but although he contributed most of the verbiage in the episode, I don't remember much of what Tony said.I think his hands distracted me. Or that look in his eye.
I keep trying to imagine him as a beat cop. And I’m thinking that he’s setting himself up for a reality show that follows him around on his job. It actually might be amusing.
Carpentry? Where he loses tools when he looks the other way? Sarah had a moment when he claimed that.
Which would be a production clap. I got to give credit to Probst for that TC question.
Thought it was weird when Tony lied about his profession again. His comments didnt' even make sense. I figure that everyone already knows he is a cop. Maybe he wanted to convince JP.
Yeah it was weird.I figure that Tony just lost track of his lies. Keeping your stories straight seems to be a common problem amoung liars.
I like that he was ambushed with that question.
Production Gufu: Two words, Super Idol. The tribe will be hushed.
Tony: Now that he has some power again and thinks he has jury votes coming, his inner Sugar is coming out. No departures without a personal knife twisting. Gee, there's a tactic which works.Production, echo: landmine! (But when does it auto-disarm?)
Production: One of the most rigged-feeling episodes to come down the sewage flow, from the suspicious choice of Reward teams to the contents of Jefra's letter through Tony's "idol find". Welcome back to the days of RussHell. Only more blatant.
ugh, definitely.
Corrupting teenage boys since, well,
none of your business how long...
Production: Your efforts to keep Tony in the game by giving him GPS to the idol are fairly obvious. please.
Corrupting teenage boys since, well,
none of your business how long...
Production 1: Having a Super Idol
Production 2: Introducing the Super Idol so very late in the game
Production 3: Not explaining the Super Idol to anyone except the guy who found it (including the AUDIENCE)
Thanks to tribephyl for the sigpic!
The only way the SI could have been even remotely fun for me as a viewer was if it had been flushed during the episode it was found.
This super idol has all the makings of a one-time-only twist. I do like that it is non-transferable, though. That saves Tony a lot of trying to think.
Waiting for the confessional where Tony tells us he doesn't have to think. In 300 words or less.
Once again, we have a real threat in Tony, he's running the table and anyone who doesn't get hit by his 8-ball would rather stand in line rather than get rid of him.Spy hut. Most just stand behind a tree or bush. Bet it starts a trend.
Contestant Gufu: Tony. Young lad totally pulled a Jedi mind trick on him.Production Gufu. Tarnations!, they done gone and borified the auction!
Contestant Gufu: Tony. Spencer and Tasha laid a trap, and like a dope, you walked into it. Yes, you are the only member of your alliance who deserves to win the damn game. We know that. But against the likes of professional POS Trish, useless and mean Kass, and oversold Woo, that's saying nothing.Also: Woo. Are you dumb? Your only prayer of winning this game is if Spencer and Tasha are no longer there. You know how tight the girls are with you guys, and you follow Tony off a cliff? Tony, a.k.a. one of the three people you know can beat you, with Kass maybe having a shot? You have no chance now unless you can drag Kass and Trish to the finals, and Kass is a damn lawyer and can outwork you in the final vote. So yeah, you have no chance now.
Production: A couple of plates of food, a rock-draw for an immunity advantage that turned out to be a hidden immunity idol clue that, if I know Survivor, is useless after next week, and not much else. And the gross-out thing is rice and water? WTF? Where's the huge cake? What about something from home? The big prize is three ribs and a beer when I could order something better from Outback for around $20? Mark H. Burnett, what gives? Did the food budget run short after the jury raided Jeff's fridge or something?
Also: A damn rock-draw? At least have them answer a question or Ro-Sham-Bo for it. I guess Survivor subscribes to the Wesley Snipes/Sean Rector school of betting, or maybe it's just foreshadowing that Tasha wins it all and the rocks were really orange and purple or something and EPMB superimposed white and black. Either way, nothing good has ever come from drawing rocks on Survivor.
Contestant Gufu: Trish, commenting on how thin Tony & Spencer are? Really? Or were you waiting for someone to also notice that a zombie has more flesh on the bone then you.Production: Time to retire the auction, what a flop.
I should be watched....closely.
Production GUFU: Ditto and Ditto again to the gawd-awful auction.Contestant GUFU: Tony. Just STFU and disappear into the night, please. And take your Super Idol with you.
Sorry, nothing original. Must be that EPMB influence.
Production: Too. Many. Idols.Production: No. Really. I watched the ep on fast forward after I found out the "advantage" was a "clue" to yet another HII. Borrrr-ing! Zzzzz.
Production: The word "clue" usually means something a little more subtle than "It's right there!!!!" (See also, Hint.)
Contestants Spencer & Tash:
Could you have tried to convince Jeffra that she was in trouble and you might could have blindsided Tony?
You had to know he is cocky and secure enough in his alliance that he would not use any HII he might have.
Two problems there.1. Jefra's backed out of a switch before this. It makes them less likely to approach her: why secure a promise which won't hold up until Tribal Council?
2. Barring his taking a swing at someone (which the cameras might very carefully not capture), Tony's effectively invulnerable right now. Voted out at Thursday's TC: use the landmine idol. Next week, no matter what happens, hand Jeff the grenade, and he's F5 without a worry to his name.
(And since no one tried to get rid of him this past week, he is now guaranteed F4.)
Even if it had worked, all they would have done was bounce the vote to whoever his group had been targeting.
Contestant Gufu: Woo. Don't even bother to lie if you don't know how.Contestant Gufu: Kass. Her happy place is gloom, despair and agony.
WOE!
Kass, Kass, Kass, Kass, Kass...I hope I oppose you in court one day. If you play lawyer the way you play Survivor, you will probably be disbarred. You have now flipped the game to get rid of Sarah and Tasha in exchange for...what exactly? Sticking to the plan puts you in F6 with no damn Tony or Trish, and Spencer is still there in either timeline. Assuming you make it to F6 with your alliance intact, that gives you...Sarah, Morgan, Jeremiah, and Tasha along with yourself and Spencer, and if Spencer wins immunity again, you can dump Tasha for being a winner, Jeremiah for being a threat, or Morgan for being a piece of garbage. Instead you are hanging out with Tony, who has two damn idols, Spencer, who could win the last three immunities and barely break a sweat, Woo, who is really just Tony's karate-kicking lap dog, and Trish, who hates you. I guess if we had known that you flipping to get rid of one deranged mental patient meant you would become one yourself, we would have put up with J'Tia just to be rid of your sorry ass. In short: Fvck you, Kass. Right in your damn ear. You give my future profession a bad name.Also, Tasha. You're my girl, but what's with the no scrambling? If you have a diabolical plan, at least try to be diabolical and not a slacker.
Production: Team reward at six? Really? Also, where's the family visit? I HAVE to see the woman who was crazy enough to marry Tony.
Chapter 11: Kass Loves KaosTime to see yourself in front of the jury. Will Tony get the votes? Spenser? Wooo? Tasha? You? Certainly not Trish. Putting your marbles on Wooo was probably not smart, but worth a try if you have to get rid of Tony. But do you have to? Maybe you need to replace Trish. Oh. Right. Not likely because of chaos and such.
Production: Get these people cleaned up a little if you're taking them into town. They represent.
AgmanArt 2012
LAST EDITED ON 05-15-14 AT 01:39 AM (EST)smash
ec
LAST EDITED ON 05-15-14 AT 01:41 AM (EST)
Week 12Contestant Gufu: Trish. Seriously, Skeletor, going off on Kass just convinced Tony you were another "anyone but Kass" jury vote.
Bazinga!
Contestant Gufu: Woo. In the end the nice guy didn't understand the #1 rule of Survivor, Do What Is Best For Yourself! Respectfully, though, the way FTC went, if not for Spencer making the case for Tony at the end Woo might have won.Contestant Gufu: Tony. Listen to the damn question, actually answer the damn question.
Production Gufu: The frickin' live segments with Jiffy prior to the reunion were strictly time-wasters.
Contestant GUFU - Reiterating to Woo -- really? Have you ever watched Survivor? The notion of winning with integrity went out with the first sighting of Richard Hatch's bare banana. Why do you think EPMB likes all those close ups of snakes, rats and other creepy crawlies?
