LAST EDITED ON 10-11-12 AT 09:48 PM (EST)

Matsing continues its slide into extinction. Russell screams at the sky. Pete pits RC against her aptly named Number Two and Dawson learns to make “official” fire.

"Fail is in The Air" - The Mat-Sing Sing tribe are prisoners of their own challenge failures. Malcolm confessionalizes that they are a very consistent zero for three in the first three Immunity Challenges, the fire is soggy and the room service menu is very limited. He also insists that one challenge win will turn things around and show that Mat-Sing Sing is not Destined for Annihilation. Great name for a heavy metal band, btw.

Over at Doing the Tandango, Mike Sculpin continues to nurse his laundry list of injuries, including the two cuts below his eyes caused by the skin diving mask "exploding" during the last challenge. Halfway around the world, we hear the soft whisper of angels singing as the Geico Gecko personally inks the rubber stamp and cancels Sculpin's auto, home and personal injury insurance.

The low key Pete steps into the confessional booth and tells us that he feels that he's in a "very very very good position" in the game and that he's planning to create a lot of chaos... and a lot of "very's". Since he can't find any sneakers to hide, he decides to dig up the HII clue that Abi found and place it in RC's bag.

Later, the entire Doing the Tandango tribe is sitting in their structure during a Survivor Philippines rain delay when Abi sees the clue peeking out of RC's bag and uses the occasion to point it out to the rest of the tribe, throw a world class tantrum and generally put RC under the microscope.

RC, always a student of the game, points out that she may not be the strategic powerhouse she originally thought she was. It also occurs to RC that Abi as her "number two" may be more irritating than Chewbacca receiving a Brazilian wax.

"Fired Up" - Meanwhile, the Koleslaw tribe uses a break in the rain to gather wood, improve their structure and build fire. The fire brigade is led by Dawson who throws three sticks on the ground, lights them up and asks, "Is this a fire... officially? Am I done making it?" Penner refers her to www.howto.com, but Dawson's wifi signal is too weak to pull it in. In so many ways...

Jeff Kent remarks, "We have a real young bunch of kids. They don't know how to have a professional conversation. They don't even know how to execute a 4-5-3 double play or spot a pitcher's release point. I don't know what's happening to the education system in our country." As Jeff, Jonathan and Carter go off on a clam digging bonding experience, the Women of Koleslaw chop the cabbage. By "chop the cabbage", of course I mean that they talk, they get paranoid and they successfully predict that there'll be new alliances cut along gender lines.

Jeff uses the time alone to talk with Jonathan again about a limited alliance; what skills Jonathan can teach, versus the tribe members that Jeff can bring into the fold. Their professional conversation concludes with a handshake, but the slow-mo instant replay reveals that it still looks like the 4 finger variety. Penner then slides over to Carter and brings him into this tripod alliance. Penner also shakes Carter’s hand, but it’s a normal human handshake with all of the fingers in their assigned places.

Back at Koleslaw Central, Dawson points out that the guys have been out looking for clams for a couple of hours, so "...what are they talking about? They're talking about US!" Dana chimes in that the best plan would be to stick together and "try to work whatever magic you can" until the merge. "Then try to gather in some other ladies. How awesome would that be as a strategy?" That's a strategy? Someone's been breathing in too much nail polish remover at work.

"Matsing Inaction" - Russell may be African American and much more articulate, but he still bears a slight resemblance to Russell Hantz as he degrades fallen tribemates as a smoker, a lunatic and a beauty queen. This causes Malcolm to grab a camera team and head over to Casa de la Confessionalistas. "I think I sized up Russell pretty well and he’s met my low expectations the entire way through. He lacks self-awareness. It’s apparent in challenges, in the way that he talks to us around camp. It’s apparent in the way he loses his cool at TC for no reason. He’s only here because we’re doing so badly and we need muscle mass."

Mark my words, Shoebox Greetings is going to have a line of "Get Well Soon, We Miss Your Muscle Mass" greeting cards very, very, very soon. Or maybe that's just the Philippines black tar heroin talking.

"RICE: The Rice Man Cometh... Unglued" - We seem to have a RICE here. That's a Reward and Immunity Challenge Experience. Contestants will each carry two pots of rice in jars balanced on a pole across your shoulders. Place the pots in their stands and head back for the next person to go. Once you’ve collected all six pots, you’ll use a wrecking ball to smash the pots. First 2 tribes to smash all 6 pots win Immunity. Reward – 1st tribe – steak, spices, oils, vegetables, pots, utensils. 2nd tribe- couple of veggies, pot and oil. Both tribes sit out the women. Denise shakes her head in disgust at the inequality of it all.

I'd like to say that the competition is one of the closest and most exciting in recent memory, but those Filipina prostitutes and cocaine really mess with your memory. Let's just say that at the end, Jeff Kent's 'wrecking ball' comes so close to the last rice pot on the forward swing that it spins the pot in its stand. But the return swing smashes this last pot and Koleslaw comes in second, shutting Mat-Sing Sing out for the fourth time.

Following this heart-breaking defeat, Russell smashes a pot of rice, screams "Same old crap!" and starts having a very loud conversation with God. Just to put things in perspective, if you saw this behavior on the sidewalk in front of you, you'd definitely high-tail it across the street. Unless the crazy person had a bluetooth earpiece sticking out of one ear and you overheard the words "IRS audit". Or if we're talking about any NYC subway stop.

Jiffy jumps into a gap in Russell's tirade and asks who he's talking to. Russell replies, "I'm talking to God, Lord Jeff... I mean Jeff." What follows is a discussion of theology, human frailties, game design, the id, the ego and the super-ego. Not to get anyone's hopes up, but I smell multiple Emmy awards coming soon.

"Keep Russell Away From The Machete" - The Mat-Sing Sing mission seems to keep Russell calm and away from sharp objects following his RICE breakdown. Russell, Malcolm and Denise all do the "vote for the other guy and we'll go to the merge" two-step, divided by three. Malcolm tells Denise, " Let’s just make him comfortable…” which sounds more end-of-life than end-of-game, but when you want to keep the medics away you say whatever seems to work.

"Tribal? Meet Bible." - Jiffy pokes the three remaining Mat-Sing Singeltons with a stick, trying to explore Russell's meltdown, but it seems like the subject has been played out. Jiffy goes to the "why would you keep / why would you vote out" gambit, but that's pretty cut and dried as well. Russell has experience and he almost died playing this damn game. Malcolm is a physical challenge. Denise has over-the-top social game skills.

They go to the votes and Russell Swan, the Environmental Attorney is recycled.

Mark "That's The Way The Rice Pot Tumbles" Burnett