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Original Message
"Be The Survivor: China: Episode #9: Cheeseburgers In Hell Paradise."
Posted by Estee on 11-16-07 at 07:48 AM
I'm often asked what I believe in. Do I believe in a higher power? In the fundamental benevolence of the universe? Long slow kisses that last for three days? Well, here's a hint: it's not the fundamental benevolence of the universe. Because I'm still here, Mark's right behind me, and if you can't figure out that big a clue, you must be in our current contestant pool. But mostly, I believe in fast food. American fast food. The sort of thing we can get a sponsor for. Except we didn't, because the universe isn't fundamentally benevolent. For further proof of that, please see our current contestant pool. I'm certainly not getting any divine love here.

Note to production: James is not allowed to sing. Ever. Do I look like Simon Cowell to you? That is not what I'm being paid to suffer through! PG-13, however, is allowed to foreshadow. In fact, just let her pile it on for half the cycle. 'I've never won anything! I have no personal triumphs!' Whatever you say, Shii-Ann II.

Denise is paranoid about her position in the tribe? Took long enough, didn't it?

Reward time! Bounce balls off four drums to get around obstacles and into a receptacle at the end! How did we come up with this? Let's just say I need to check my bedroom for hidden cameras more often, all right? Well, we've found something James can't do. And we've also found something Todd can't do. ...Todd can't handle balls? Okay, slight shocker... But Amanda certainly can, and Frosti can, and there has been this certain question about Erik, plus Courtney is now hauling 178% of her body weight on every transfer, so it's time for them to take that all-day Cruise To Nowhere! And get served that native Chinese cuisine, fried chicken and mashed taters! Say, did we get a sponsor for that? Geez. I guess Gardener got more out of that KFC-For-Life card than I thought.

Say, is that a goat or a sheep? Oh, never mind. I'm sure the Eyemail guy will figure it out.

So PG-13 puts a little blame on James for the failed Reward. And Todd's memory of this apparently includes thrown pots, scratch marks, and quite possibly the entire cast of Hairspray. Does anyone know what goes on in that head? Does anyone really want to find out?

Frosti is massaging Courtney's back? Tell him to be careful. One of her spinal spikes could puncture his lungs.

Immunity! Who wants to play? Who wants to eat? Who wants to lose any tiny thread of respect I might have had for them? And the answer to that one is 'James, Courtney, Todd, and Denise.' Well, no worries there: I only have two threads to drop. Amanda wants to play this game, though. Amanda wants to win this game! Has Todd noticed? No, because Todd doesn't notice things unless he can make them all about Todd. For example, he hasn't noticed that I've just passed out daggers to all playing parties, and he'll continue not to notice that until Amanda's lands in his back.

By the way, did we get a sponsor for those cheeseburgers? No? It's Shane's fault, isn't it?

So PG-13 climbs up to Immunity on a pile of foreshadowing and Courtney's supposed little crush on Frosti makes her vulnerable, so it's time to get together an alliance of three Tigers plus one or two Dragons -- Denise is still paranoid, right? -- and force a tie, or maybe even majority -- you know, this would be a great time to blindside James, given that you passed up on the last one --

-- and Erik just voted for Frosti, with Frosti voting for Erik. And Frosti goes out. Because working to save yourself is not in Todd's script. And as we all know, it's all about Todd. Always.

How stupid are you people? Let's find out. Say, everyone, how do you keep a group of morons in suspense?

I'll tell you all in two weeks.

Yes, Todd. I will tell you all in two weeks...

...you think you're talking to yourself, don't you?

Roleplaying game: speak as your character or create a new one related to the environment to use, and don't worry too much about what you say: gawd knows Frosti couldn't be bothered to make any effort towards saving himself. Many good (as in ludicrous) parts still available at http://community.realitytvworld.com/boards/DCForumID1/3680.shtml . Come in, sign up, and do to your characters what they're already doing to themselves.

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Be The Survivor: China: Episode #9: Cheeseburgers In Hell Paradise."
Posted by SUPAMEOM on 11-16-07 at 08:14 AM
hey baby, i believe in looooooooooong slooooooooooooooooow kisses with you!!

and as for the cameras, JEFFREY LEE PROBST, you TOLD ME YOU MADE SURE NO-ONE BUT US CAN ACESS THEM!!

where is your damn dog?? I BET SHE DID IT!!


Thanks Tribe!!

"HI HI HI Supamneo... I must say you have to be my and Jeff's biggest fan!!! " Julie Berry Survivor Vanuatu

"RE: Be The Survivor: China: Episode #9: Cheeseburgers In Hell Paradise."
Posted by Max Headroom on 11-16-07 at 08:38 AM
A dagger in Todd's back? Me? I'm just the dumb beauty queen, doing whatever Todd the Mastermind tells me to do and smiling a lot. And wearing shorts which make my behind all blurry on TV.


So who is this "Danni", anyway??

"RE: Be The Survivor: China: Episode #9: Cheeseburgers In Hell Paradise."
Posted by michel on 11-16-07 at 12:02 PM
Yeah, but it's not blurry from where I sit!

"RE: Be The Survivor: China: Episode #9: Cheeseburgers In Hell Paradise."
Posted by Max Headroom on 11-16-07 at 12:36 PM
As long as you follow the plan and vote the way Todd wants you to, you can look all you want.

"RE: Be The Survivor: China: Episode #9: Cheeseburgers In Hell Paradise."
Posted by Sunny_Bunny on 11-16-07 at 09:12 AM
Never underestimate my powers! Never! Never!


Bwahahahahahahahahahaha! Taking over za vorld, 4 idiots at a time!

"RE: Be The Survivor: China: Episode #9: Cheeseburgers In Hell Paradise."
Posted by agman on 11-16-07 at 07:28 PM
bwahahahahahahahahh.....heheheh



"RE: Be The Survivor: China: Episode #9: Cheeseburgers In Hell Paradise."
Posted by michel on 11-16-07 at 12:05 PM
Probst, All I have to say to you is:

Buuuuuuurp!

That felt good. I put extra onions on my 7 Burgers!


"RE: Be The Survivor: China: Episode #9: Cheeseburgers In Hell Paradise."
Posted by Estee on 11-16-07 at 12:09 PM
But can you eat fifty eggs?


"RE: Be The Survivor: China: Episode #9: Cheeseburgers In Hell Paradise."
Posted by Colonel Zoidberg on 11-16-07 at 02:24 PM
Depends. Are they a thosand years old?

**scuttles back to my cave before Jiffy chases me with a broom**

"RE: Be The Survivor: China: Episode #9: Cheeseburgers In Hell Paradise."
Posted by michel on 11-16-07 at 04:02 PM
Raw, for Breakfast.

The problem is that the chicken you give to Survivors never lay enough eggs. Your chicken are always broken.

"RE: Be The Survivor: China: Episode #9: Cheeseburgers In Hell Paradise."
Posted by agman on 11-16-07 at 07:30 PM
lmao, at least you didn't POOT.....




coral


"RE: Be The Survivor: China: Episode #9: Cheeseburgers In Hell Paradise."
Posted by jbug on 11-16-07 at 03:31 PM
Paranoid? me?
For the record/ James, I did not fall for your line "ohm they were supposed to tell you beore TC." Yea, right big buddy. You should have told me. We'll see just how far this friendship goes......

And did everyone notice that PG, Todd & James would not let me bounce the ball? What? my drum was too tight or what? You, PG, are a micromanager. Its' you you you. Does it never occur to you that if you can't do something, you step back and let someone else try? Did you not read my bio where I told about the contests we have in the lunchroom - bouncing meatballs on trashcans covered with plastic bags? I'm a pro at that game! But nnnnnnnnnoooooooooooo. You PG just had to try to win it all on your own.
And are you too stoopid to know you should have made some kind of play when you had immunity instead of just voting off one of your originals? If you Erik or Frosti had sense enough to try to pull me or Courtney to your side? Did it ever occur to you? You do realize don't you that you'll be gone at the next TC if you're not wearing that necklace? Dang, girl, you're dumb! Oh, and Frosti and Erik are too.

Oh well, I got all the boogers burgers and fries I needed for awhile.


"RE: Be The Survivor: China: Episode #9: Cheeseburgers In Hell Paradise."
Posted by michel on 11-16-07 at 04:08 PM
Come on Denise, It's not because I always look at Amanda's @ss that I forgot...Wow, there she goes again! What was I saying?
OH! Hello Denise! How are you today?


"RE: Be The Survivor: China: Episode #9: Cheeseburgers In Hell Paradise."
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 11-16-07 at 09:04 PM
Pffft! Pbbbbt! ##### all of you #####! Todd, your ##### is bigger than #####. Courtney, who ##### cares about you, you #####. I ##### all of you #####s. You're nothing but ##### ##### ##### ##### ##### ##### ##### ##### ##### ##### ##### ##### ##### ##### ##### ##### ##### ##### #####.

Me? I'm going to have fun in ##### Loser Lodge and vote ##### out of the ##### million ##### bucks, and kick ##### JR in his ##### ##### and ##### and then I'll ##### and ##### that ##### Jaime and ##### ruin her forever for that that ##### Erik.

Probst? You still looked like a dork on ##### Wheel of Fortune.

"RE: Be The Survivor: China: Episode #9: Cheeseburgers In Hell Paradise."
Posted by michel on 11-16-07 at 10:07 PM
The little guy, what's his name? Courtney's pet, he's got quite a mouth on him. Did you like your Loser Lodge Burger?

Me, I could have another one or ten if you know a place in China that delivers at this hour. Probst, with his unfinished business is interfering with my late night snack schedule.


"RE: Be The Survivor: China: Episode #9: Cheeseburgers In Hell Paradise."
Posted by mattben on 11-17-07 at 01:40 PM
Absolutely freakin' hilarious report, Estee.

But Amanda certainly can, and Frosti can, and there has been this certain question about Erik, plus Courtney is now hauling 178% of her body weight on every transfer, so it's time for them to take that all-day Cruise To Nowhere! And get served that native Chinese cuisine, fried chicken and mashed taters! Say, did we get a sponsor for that? Geez.

At least we're getting inventive on the taylored® challenge designs. I like it.

I'm currently questioning my ability to come up with deep philosophical questions. I'll be patient a while before wading into the shallow waters.


® Property of Kid Nation Yellow District

"RE: Be The Survivor: China: Episode #9: Cheeseburgers In Hell Paradise."
Posted by RollDdice on 11-26-07 at 04:48 PM
Quite a surprise to have Frosti massaging Courtney's back.
With all of his cadaver experience, I had James pegged for that job.



Hidden takeout, crouching cookie.