Where to begin this week?

Lisi - pissed off that you were picked last, you fugly tub of goo. You should have quit, and saved me the horror of looking at your gross face and body. Begone!

Rocky - what a motivator you are. Dr. Phil look out! Seriously, Rock, don't quit your day job to mentor - I hear you suck at that too.

Anthony - I have girlfriends with more balls than you. Oh well, back to Dungeons and Dragons, I guess.

You guys are getting boring...liven up!

Good Lord what a boring bunch!

Girlfriend, maybe you can convince Jeffy to send some kind of sacrifice to me and the gods way so we can have some kind of wilder weather for the show. I'm pretty much on strike from making any kind of wild weather because there's been nothing heading my way.....

The only reason it rained at the end of Tribal Council is because I was so frustrated at the Boy's Club, I decided to make the return trip miserable for those morons!

Ok, let me be honest. I'm not late because I forgot to watch...er star in the show on Wednesday. And I am not late because Ms. Berry threw my back out rearranging the furniture in our luxury hut.

No, I am late because you morons have torqued me off so badly that my on-set therapist said I should back away from you walking landmines for a while. I did and now I can finally stand to look at you without developing a nervous tick.

Thanks for standing in for me, Ms. Berry. But if I ever decide to retire from this show, you will NOT be the one to replace me. I have other plans for you. You will be dropping your buff a lot. Oh YES you will.

Anthony: how do you feel that your TC throwdown inspired me to say "kiss your @$$" on camera for the 1st time in 14 seasons? If it came to a fight between you and James (who I refuse to call Rocky) could you beat him bare handed or would you need a +4 vorpal sword?

James: ever heard of a pot calling a kettle black? For someone who called Anthony effeminate you sure looked comfortable wearing that tube top a coupld of episodes ago. And why would you be such an imbicile as to put your own head on the chopping block with that rant at TC?!?! Is that stupidity or a death wish on your part? Please stay a couple of more weeks so you can continue to be wrong about EVERY confessional prediction.

Alex: when you were patting James on the back at TC, did you decide which ribs to slide the knife between? Did you notice how flustered it made me to see that rant? I even said "Alex you had your hands in your head" instead of head in your hands. Does it scare you that I'm all shook up?

Lisi: go home. I would rather have Anthony stay than to look at you any longer. No. I am serious. Go home. Security! Take her away.

Michelle: admit it. You're getting YOUNGER every day aren't you? I swear I saw your body going backwards into the pre-pubescent stage over the last week. If it gets any worse, you'll be back at the toddler stage and will fall off platforms or tables like a 2 year old. But...I will let you stay if you promise not to sue us for child labor violations.

Stacy: I know you were in the episode. I remember you being crushed like a bug in the Immunity Challenge. But those 10 seconds of grimacing were all the time we could carve out for you.

Edgardo: what is it like to be on the lousy beach now? And does that svck more or less than being surrounded by psychos?

Mookie: yes they picked you first. you svcked far less than any other Ravu. That is as much of a compliment as saying that Jason Kendall is fast...for a catcher, so don't get the big head.

Earl: good night man, what will it take for you to find the Immunity Idol? Must I pull a reverse-Yau Man and plant it on you while I am hugging you?

Cassandra: How does it feel to be the swing vote? Better than slamming Rita into the mud in the Immunity Challenge last week?

Dre: did you not throw a hissy this week or did we just edit you out?

Boo: are you THE MAN for being able to get that stringy bunch of losers to a challenge win?

Yau Man: how good was it to finally not stink up the whole show? If you dont' find the Immunity Idol soon, we're giving you a steam shovel as a reward next week.

Hey Crabs: svcks to be you, doesn't it? Got any revenge planned?

Ma Nature: if we were to give you Lisi as a sacrifice would you bring on the monsoons or would you just spit her back at us?

Yo Jeff,

Didn't you notice that you're wearing the same hat as Lisi nowadays? What kind of man are yous anyway?

>Didn't you notice that you're wearing
>the same hat as Lisi
>nowadays? What kind of
>man are yous anyway?

How dare you insult My Jeffy's manliness, he is more of a man then what you will ever be.

Jeffy I don't mind those other plans for me, they sound like a lot of fun!!

Oh and Jeffy, try not to get to bed so late tonight!!

Your Sweetie
Ms Berry

Women.

Now get in the kitchen and make me a pot pie!

Lisi? *spits*

Sacrifice her first, then I'll think about it.....

Currently, I only have one thing to say about her: "Yeah, whatever!"

Honestly? How tempted were you, Jiffy, to put her on the S. S. Osten instead of the Exile Island Tour Boat? I'd have thought you really would've considered that idiocy to think: "You want out? You got it!"

Now that I have you on the line, Mom, I'll tell ya that I was very tempted. She is one of the most annoying, useless contestants ever.

But she makes a great villian and we need that. So I couldn't boot her without messing up that dynamic.

By the way, at the next challenge, can you make sure the sun is shining on my teeth JUST RIGHT while simultaneously causing it to storm on the sucky Survivors just 10 feet away? I think that would further cement my status as the most important person on this island.

That's a difficult one, Jiffy. I'll see what I can do.......

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE MAN!!!!

Co0L 3luE P1g: OINK OINK...

Why the hell would you be hugging me, Jeff? I know you have tendencies and were "fond" of Colby but I don't need any hugs from you.

Anyway, I got the Power now. Yau-Man will find the idol and give it to me if I need it. Boo's muscle can help but he doesn't have what it takes like I do!

Yes darlin' but you need me to do it...

Here drink this coffee sweetheart

I had Stacy my coffee wench make it for me...