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Original Message
"Ep. 4 - "Be the Survivor""
Posted by Scarlett O Hara on 10-07-05 at 04:29 PM
<To cameraman no. 1> "Just when the survivors get comfortable, EPMB and I have to shake things up a bit! Dontcha just love it! They didn't know what hit them last night! And there's a lot more where this came from!"

<Steps stage left>

I gotta tell you EPMB, I learned well from the Puppet Master. I really did get it, you know. When you said "No more Tribal Pagonging!" I'm not about to let that happen this season no matter what, although Stephanie is sure making that hard! Where ever she seems to go, the dark cloud of TC follows her. Talk about bad karma!

... and Gary, when's that dude going to 'man up' and come clean about his past? We couldn't have built him a better challenge to showcase his NFL past than the spear toss last night. Just when we have someone whose talent we think we can feature, he turns and runs in the opposite direction with his tail between his legs! Oh well, we'll have to try again next week, and the following week, and the following week. We'll get that rabbit out of his hole, yet.


Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Ep. 4 - "Be the Survivor""
Posted by Incognito9 on 10-07-05 at 07:01 PM
Alright, man. Here's my take on things, dude.

Man, the heat here has been, like, killer. Then we go to this Reward Challenge, they vote for Curly Sue and I to go on some picnic reward lunch.

Man, I stole the picnic basket from Gary, Amy, and Midge and ate all the food. So then I get back to camp, dude, and WTF all my bros are gone! And I'm left with Maggot, Dr. Doolittle, and some law school biitch who doesn't know how to STFU, man. Dude.

Yeah I flipped this shiit around, man. I sided with Staphenie and Jamie. And I've never been prouder. Dude.

It's my jungle now, biitches!!
And WTF you gunna do about it, man? I'm king of the jungle and, dude, I'm sexily weighing-in at 347 lbs. Man, I'm on top of the world right now. Man.

Dude.

Man.


Want to know this season's Survivor popularity stats? Check out the NoBS Popularity Poll HERE

"RE: Ep. 4 - "Be the Survivor""
Posted by LibraRising on 10-07-05 at 08:27 PM
Stealing picnic baskets? Who are you? Yogi Bear?

You're gonna pay for gettin' rid of my woman, pardner.


I saw the way that girl was lookin' at me last week.

"RE: Ep. 4 - "Be the Survivor""
Posted by RollDdice on 10-07-05 at 08:51 PM
Stealing picnic baskets? Who are you? Yogi Bear?

More like Yogi Bear-a. Between the "millimeter of a second" comment and the "man-osterone" observation, Judd has become the Official Survivor Promo Dumb Quote Machine.

Thanks, dude, man. We need it.



Mark "Will you catch and eat a damn croc already?" Burnett

"RE: Ep. 4 - "Be the Survivor""
Posted by bystander on 10-09-05 at 10:47 AM
Sorry Brandon, that B!tch Staphanie was so jealous of my good looks and perfectly plucked small eyebrows that she plotted to have me thrown off the tribe. She knew I'd be going after her. Did you notice how skanky she is getting? America's sweetheart? I think not. She's going down. She's like the tiki idol worn by Greg Brady when he almost drown surfing. BAD.LUCK. (Plus she smells, Yikes, where's a summer's eve when you need one).

I was looking forward to checking out your briefs, legally speaking. Maybe I'll see you over at the resort sometime soon.


"RE: Ep. 4 - "Be the Survivor""
Posted by MattyMax on 10-10-05 at 02:27 AM
Hey Judd,

Listen, when you're about as skillful throwing a frat paddle as (Africa) Brandon is with a bow and flaming arrow, you gotta tap out! I let Danni finish it up for me. And while I may have lost my dignity, and relived painful team-sport memories of my past, my team won the challenge!

"RE: Ep. 4 - "Be the Survivor""
Posted by smokedog on 10-07-05 at 08:13 PM
Well, the D-Train just keeps chugging along. I'm in a pretty good spot, methinks.

Gary, I'm gonna hound you till you come clean!

Steph, can't wait to crush you one-on-one again. Maybe next episode?

Cheers,

"RE: Ep. 4 - "Be the Survivor""
Posted by MattyMax on 10-07-05 at 09:15 PM
Ok, so this week was like the BEST WEEK EVER for me.

First, My team finally acknowledged the fact that I have the most TEAM SPIRIT! Woo-hoo! Go Ya-Sha! I was on the color squad back in High School.

Second, I got put on a team full of fit young guys like myself! Brandon, BJ, Blake, and ME! I call us the four Bs, y'know, like "Bros'. This is totally awesome, we are so going to win! Did you see me hug the guys after the challenge, I'm totally in with them! I bet next week Blake and BJ are gonna invite me on their bathroom breaks!

Third, Even though I'm a minority on my tribe, that's ok, because Steph is on the other tribe. And even though she is so my favorite, she is such bad luck. We're gonna win all the challenges now! Even if Steph gets lucky (haha!), Amy has that big target on her back, and those two big'uns on her front, so I know that even if we lose, I'm not going home.

Hey Steph - Ya Jealous! You were one popularity contest vote away from being on a team with BJ, Blake, Brandon, Dani and Gary!

Go Ya-Sha!!!


"the bathroom breaks"
Posted by Spanky68 on 10-07-05 at 11:36 PM
You know, Brian, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. It makes me uncomfortable when you slap my butt during the challenges. But when you try to hold my dingus, and shake it after I whiz...that is just plain freaky. If you try it again, I might accidentally break your fingers next time we are gathering fire wood.


"RE: the bathroom breaks"
Posted by MattyMax on 10-08-05 at 01:41 PM
What're you talking about, B? It's really guysey, like, that's what guys do for each other when hanging out, y'know, just guys.


"RE: the bathroom breaks"
Posted by LibraRising on 10-10-05 at 12:57 PM
Damn, you boys are strange. I ain't never talked to nobody when I was on my way to the outhouse. Just try and talk to me while I'm pissin' and see what happens.

Here's a hint. Whadaya get when you add together the prize that Bobby Jon and Gary won this week for smellin' bad with the prize one of them Olympic gymnast queers wins for winnin' first place?


Dammit. I just invented a rebus. Now Bobby Jon'll never figger that one out.

"RE: Ep. 4 - "Be the Survivor""
Posted by Scarlett O Hara on 10-08-05 at 07:15 AM
LAST EDITED ON 10-08-05 AT 08:56 AM (EST)

Hey Steph - Ya Jealous! You were one popularity contest vote away from being on a team with BJ, Blake, Brandon, Dani and Gary!

Yes, Brian, I gotta say, I would L*O*V*E to be in your shoes now, with all that Beefcake over there, you have got to be in Hog Heaven!! Speaking of hogs, here comes Brandon Judd now ... gotta run!

"RE: Ep. 4 - "Be the Survivor""
Posted by Spanky68 on 10-13-05 at 09:21 AM
please stop referring to me as a "beefcake". Can't anyone accept me for my intelligence and personality? Why does it ALWAYS have to be about my great bone structure, strong chin, nice pects, thick biceps, great legs and my six-pack abs? Can't someone just respect me for who I am and not how hot I make them (or how likely I am to dominate in a challenge)?!?!?!


No? phew! I thought some of the ladies might take me seriously and stop lusting me. I was really just saying that stuff to give the false impression I had a "softer side". Suckas!

"RE: Ep. 4 - "Be the Survivor""
Posted by Dakota on 10-07-05 at 09:23 PM
Jeez, I leave for a few minutes expecting to come back and thank my tribe again for the picnic and whew! They're gone! Except for our head cheerleader. At least we won that immunity challenge -- knew I was a goner if we hadn't. We had a great alliance, but we kept losing challenges. Now we'll probably win more challenges, but I'm the first to go if we lose IC. Gary and I are gonna have to do some strategizing. Ooooooo, my ankle is killing me, but since I'm not limping, no one will know I'm injured unless we have to run or something. Run? In this heat? Nooooooooo way! Danni is so sure Gary is a former NFL quarterback. If I find out he's rich and a former athlete, I'm gonna cuff him to a tree and leave him here in the jungle.


"Hey Probst and Burnett..."
Posted by Spanky68 on 10-07-05 at 11:43 PM
You got something against me? First Margaret "nurses" me and now she's on the other tribe. Then Brianna consents to "merge" with me after the merge, and you find a way to boot her. And right after Danni and I call a truce so that the real mounting can begin, she's gone, too.

Hey look, I thought we had an understanding: Steph is your slave, so I don't touch her. Every other female in the game was fair game for me, right? Are you changing the rules on me in midstream?


"RE: Hey Probst and Burnett..."
Posted by Scarlett O Hara on 10-08-05 at 07:12 AM
Hey Blake,

Wake up will ya!! Danni is on your new tribe, hon!

Hey, and I really liked how you and Bobby Jon went out to the woods together to take a side-by-side leak and you ended up planning your next moves. What was funniest though, is that when you were done peeing and scheming, you both zipped up and shook on it! Does that make you Blood Brothers, or something along those lines?

Steph is your slave, so I don't touch her.

Oh, too bad ... I was looking forward to getting to know you better!! For some reason, I am drawn to Challenge Hounds!

"OOPs"
Posted by Spanky68 on 10-08-05 at 11:45 PM
Danni is so skinny, that I didn't see her. She was turned sideways, and I missed her...she was like a cardboard cutout.

Steph, I am the biggest horndog on this show. Other than Brian's feeble pass, I have accepted all the girly action I could get.

But I just can't bring myself to take you up on your sloppy offer. Not only would that bring down the wrath of Jiffy Probe, but I just can't get past those...eyebrows of yours. And besides, if any of your "ability" rubs off on me...I'd be doomed.

Thanks but no thanks.

Oh Danni, Danni, remember that truce? And the mounting we were talking about? Danni!



"RE: OOPs"
Posted by smokedog on 10-09-05 at 00:13 AM
Good thing you are staying away from Staph. Can you all imagine what the love child of Staph and Blake would look like? The eyebrows....*shudder*

Glad to see that Margaret is gone, so I can get a large handful of that beefcake Blake Just hope he doesn't puke on me.


"I AM NOT A LOSER!"
Posted by Scarlett O Hara on 10-09-05 at 07:39 AM
..... I just am surrounded by them!!

Nobody beats me one on one ... not even you toothpick girl!!

"Doing the Tribal Shuffle"
Posted by RollDdice on 10-09-05 at 12:17 PM
Crikey, this is starting to look like the Survivor Hilton.

A "Reward Challenge" that isn't a challenge? You get showers, picnics and a complimentary fruit basket.

(Jiffy wanted to put little Hershey Kisses™ on your pillows, but I told him that they were going to melt in the 110 degree weather...)

And Steph, I heard your confessions and shuffled up the tribes. So let's see some gratitude, m'kay?



Mark "Torture Others for Ratings" Burnett

"Gratitude is Growing ..."
Posted by Scarlett O Hara on 10-09-05 at 07:12 PM
... Oh, EPMB, I can always count on you to get me out of a pickle! Speaking of pickles ...

"RE: Gratitude is Growing ..."
Posted by RollDdice on 10-10-05 at 11:49 AM
Speaking of pickles ...

*holds front of pants out and looks down at little EPMB*
Nah, it doesn't look green to me. Whew! With this heat and humidity, you can't be too careful.


Mark "Good Jungle Hygiene" Burnett

"See?"
Posted by Spanky68 on 10-10-05 at 01:07 PM
This is why I would never touch you. If JP or MB gets jealous, they would engineer a spelling competition, and I would be gone before I even knew what hit me.

Stay away from me, Staph.


"RE: Ep. 4 - "Be the Survivor""
Posted by DearAbby on 10-09-05 at 07:17 PM
Hmph! Instead of participating in the IC, I'm just a cheerleader on the sidelines. How dare they try to vote me out? It wasn't my fault we lost.

"RE: Ep. 4 - "Be the Survivor""
Posted by Das Mole on 10-09-05 at 10:44 PM
Lydia, you should become a professional cheerleader. You'd probably do a much better job than that b*tch Jennifer from BB6. Not to mention that fact that you don't look as freaky as she does (those eyes...the horror...)
"Having a Blast at Club Med. Thanks for Asking!"
Posted by bystander on 10-10-05 at 12:54 PM
Brianna, Morgan and I are having a blast at Club Med Guatamala. Last night we got tipsy on Mai Tai's and other fruity drinks and had a pillow fight in our undies out by the hot tub. It was uber-cool. We ended up falling in the hot, foamy, bubbling, water. Who would've guessed white cotten is see-through when its wet. No wonder all the guys were watching and cheering. Oh well, back to the festivities. I can't wait for Danni, Stephie, and Cindy to join us.

Please keep Maggie, Amy and FishMonger a while longer. PLEASE!


Any boys want to throw a challenge and join us?


"Why should I throw a challenge for this?"
Posted by Spanky68 on 10-10-05 at 01:14 PM
you're just described every Saturday night of my life. If I don't throw the challenge, I have a shot at the million bucks AND WILL STILL get this stuff.


"RE: Why should I throw a challenge for this?"
Posted by bystander on 10-10-05 at 01:23 PM
After Danni, Steph and Cindy are here at Club Med you can have THIS with Marge, Amy and Lydia. Oh, and having a gas attack in a croc-ridden lake is not the same thing as a Jacuzzi. Maybe Marge, Lydia and Amy fall for that but I don't.

"RE: Ep. 4 - "Be the Survivor""
Posted by Molaholic on 10-10-05 at 10:37 PM
Whellh, heh we ahh out in the junkle with some skhknie sthangehas Ih neveh seen befoh and Ih hahve toh deal with a fhubbed hup ankle an ah frikken footbahlh plahah thhat alwlredi mhade a couplamillions bucks. Damn shure dind phlay fohe the Pats neithah.

Soms of dees wynmins in chhamp rehminds me ov da hohs Ih busht on myh beat back in Bhasthn. Whhisch Iha hads mayh nhite shike to bangks shome senesse intah theas skinkhi butts.

Dohn fhgetht to looks fer meh an myh boob sistah whens weh flash Jiffy aht thrahble chhowsel -- ahlmaost mahkes him dharp tha fhriggin vhottin khrok.


( * ) ( * ) is kewl

"Where's Gary?"
Posted by MattyMax on 10-11-05 at 11:11 PM
I wanna smell him all night long.

Clean Bobby John, too.

"RE: Where's Gary?"
Posted by Spanky68 on 10-12-05 at 11:42 AM
He was whizzing in the pee club for men. He wanted to invite you, but we talked him out of it.


"Goodbye, sponsors..."
Posted by RollDdice on 10-12-05 at 11:52 AM
LAST EDITED ON 10-12-05 AT 12:06 PM (EST)

I wanna smell him all night long. Clean Bobby John, too.

So you're saying that cleanliness is next to creepiness?


Mark "Gary, ask Amy about getting a restraining order" Burnett

"RE: Ep. 4 - "Be the Survivor""
Posted by KObrien_fan on 10-13-05 at 05:29 AM
What a difference a twist makes. Once safe, now I have my panties in a bunch, Judd and his premature evacuation of old Nakum is really disconcerting. What gives that fat bastard the right to mess up my game like that anyway?

Guess I have to try a new strategy and start working on *gulp* Rafe and Jamie. Oh gawd, just give me BJ back...and Blake, I miss having real men around camp.


"RE: Ep. 4 - "Be the Survivor""
Posted by Spanky68 on 10-13-05 at 09:15 AM
Thanks, Margie. I miss you too. Though Danni and Cindy have been helping me with those "excercises" you taught me, it just isn't the same without having you around to give me those late-night sponge baths.

Hopefully, we can hook up again after the merge.