LAST EDITED ON 07-10-08 AT 11:27 PM (EST)GREATEST AMERICAN DOG
Episode One
Big Brother has gone to the dogs!
THE PLAYERS:
If you’ve seen “Best in Show” you’ve met some of these characters before.
All photos courtesy of CBS.
Tillman and his owner, Ron, a construction manager and beach bum from Oxnard, CA.
Presley and his owner, Travis, a former farmer from Oklahoma, now living in L.A. , tending bar and pursuing an acting career.
(OOOPS! File too large!) I'll try to get this uploaded later!
Ezzie and her owner, Michael, an aspiring comedic actor and waiter, living in… you guessed it… L.A.
Preston and his owner Laura, actually working as an actress and living in… (drum roll please!) L.A.
Kenji and her owner, Elan, trying to open her own pet care center and living in… NOPE, not even in California, but in Portland, OR.
Elvis and his owner David, a doctor from New York City, and he’s single girls!
Galaxy and her owner, J.D., a dog entertainer from Bend, OR
Andrew and his owner, Laurie, a doggy day care owner in Stafford, VA
Beacon and his owner, Brandy, a fashion designer from Orange County, CA
Bella Starlet and her owner, Beth Joy, Bella's Acting Manager and living in New York City.
Star and her owner, Bill, a building maintenance worker from Flint, Texas.
Leroy and his owner, Teresa, a pet day care owner from Fairfax, VA.
For full cast information, go to See B.S. here: http://tinyurl.com/5wou8f
Episode one starts off with the usual drivel introducing the dogs and their owners, exposing some of their many idiosynchrocies right off the bat.
The guests file in, all quite pleasantly surprised by the extravagant living quarters in which MOST of them will be staying.
Teresa’s border collie, Leroy, goes nuts over the sight of the pool, and despite her best efforts, is soon enjoying a swim and is soon joined by Presley, the 16 month old boxer, who doesn’t know how to swim (but he learned quickly!)
Meanwhile, Ron is smitten by Laura, “She’s like… aahhh… so hot.”
Brandy's mutt, Beacon gets picked up by Laura, much to the chagrin of Brandy who doesn’t like anyone touching her dog.
Brandy asks Bill his age, he replies that he “probably has underwear older than you are.” Everyone gets a good chuckle while secretly sizing up their competition.
OK, Time for… The Reward Challenge errrr Dog Bone Challenge!
The Host is finally revealed, Jarod Miller as Jiffy Probst.
One by one dog/handler teams are eliminated from the musical chairs competition.
And if nothing else, from this challenge we get our first of two :
Quotes of the week:
Laura, talking to sweet little Preston after elimination, “Let’s go where all the losers are. Yes!”
Finally, the winner of the dog bone challenge is: J.D. and Galaxy who get to stay in a luxury suite and pick one team to live in an outdoor doghouse for three nights. T
he selection…Davis and Elvis had bulls-eyes on their suits. But not to worry, the rest of our cast, excluding J.D., took pity on them and brought them food, their suitcase, and bedding.
Michael and Ezzie get lots of face time throughout the episode, with multiple confessionals… hmmm, could this portend anything?
Brandy announces that she is getting married on April 11th and she invites everyone to a doggie wedding, with both people and dogs invited, to be held on a southern plantation.
And this gives us our second of two Quotes of the week:
Ron says to Brandy, “I can’t remember if that’s the day I’m jumping in front of a train, or that I’m gonna drink bleach.”
Tillman wins best farting award!
Then the all important Elimination Best in Show challenge. The team judged weakest by the panel of three judges will be “expelled from canine academy!”
Michael is shown pondering how his “stomach totally dropped… “this is serious, this is the elimination round.” – does THIS portend anything? Hmmmm….
Our dogs and their people formed three teams of 4, each group came up with a theme to put on a talent show.
Michael… “I think we have a really strong chance.” - misdirection perhaps? Hmmm…
Ezzie, Michael’s Boston Terrier steals Tillman the Bulldog’s skateboard… Ron isn’t amused. Tillman appears befuddled.
Bill and Brandy both have confessionals expressing concern about the upcoming “Best in show” competition. Does THIS portend anything? Hmmm… Nah.
Meet our judges:
Wendy Diamond, Allan Reznik and Victoria Stilwell.
Team "Aloha": Teresa, Bill, Laura, and J.D. from the beach in Hawaii.
David, Travis, Brandy, and Beth Joy perform a high school cheerleading routine.
Michael, Elan, Ron and Laurie do a disco routine. Tillman really CAN skateboard!
Our judges try to look serious and studiously take notes while asking themselves how they got roped into this.
One fun moment though…
Travis “ frisking his dog” looking for a “hall pass” during the high school routine, discovers his dog’s parts and comments… ohhh, that is NOT a hall pass! The female judges like this. 
After careful deliberation and a session of heavy drinking, the decision is made…
The bottom three: Brandy and Beacon, Beth Joy and Bella Starlett, Michael and Ezzie.
These three must step forward to the platform…
Final criticisms are lashed out at the contestants by the judges.
This week’s Best Judge Quote: This is the Greatest American Dog, not the Greatest American Michael.” - Judge Wendy Diamond.
Michael and Ezzie are expelled from canine academy. Color me shocked! (not)
Next week on Greatest American Dog…
SnoopySucks the wonder beagle sneaks into canine academy. The next day a top contender is found limping, his achilles tendon mysteriously severed. Desperate for a replacement, the producers “discover” out hero, SS who just happens to be sauntering past the academy, performing a multitude of doggie tricks and she is immediately whisked on to the premises as an “early-season replacement”.
“We were beside ourselves, not knowing what in heavens name to do”, said Jarod Miller.
“It’s just such a shame about that other team, what’s their names… they had such promise.”
Bwhahahaha!
Edited fer spelin' and such.
Surfkitten Summer Sigshop 2008
"Them people had to be pretty dumb to make their camp in a riverbed." - Rudy Boesch
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I felt bad for Ezzie because I think the judge was right - Her owner was just too overwhelming even for her!
