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Original Message
"VampKira's Cornertime with Kismet"
Posted by Kismet on 07-31-01 at 10:56 PM

VampKira's Cornertime

<Kismet is walking through a very busy cornertime area. She pauses to add a few hours to Ebug's time before moving into a thus far unseen corner. Standing in the corner is VampKira. Kismet takes a deep breath and faces the camera.>

Good evening Ladies and gentlemen, Joining us today is VampKira. She's been a board member forever. Some might say that she is the 'glue' that holds this place together. I certainly wouldn't ever say that . Ok, honestly where would we really be without Vamp to run to with our problems? She has always been a good friend to have and I know everyone appreciates her. I bet all of you think of her everytime you see a frog Tattoo..I know I do.

<Kismet approaches Vamp and they shake hands. As they take to their stools Kismet's hand subconsciously goes to her mouth. The timer on the wall reads 02:30:05.>

Thanks for the interview Vamp, I am surprised to see you here. You so very rarely get into trouble. <Edited out Kismet's laughing jag.>Seriously, why are you in the corner Vampy? Who sent you into my lair?

Hmmmmmmm.. You know, I am not really sure. I KNOW it wasn't Superman, because you get sent to the corner for being bad, right? And he likes it when I'm bad. *sniiiif* Lemmie see, uuhhhhh.. I'll bet it was Jizzy, for all of the Vampslaps he has gotten lately...or Buggy, because I am always chasing her around with my bleeding eyes. Or Webby even. I don't think he
appreciated me poking him with that stick the other night. I dunno, but when I find out.. you can rest assured that they will pay..

<VampKira flashes Kismet an evil grin, as a small trickle of blood escapes her right eye. Kismet shivers. >

That is really kinda creepy Vamp. Ummm... How did you find this place and who sent you here?

<Vamp raises an eyebrow at Kismet>

You already asked me who sent me here, dear. What's up with that? Those little white pills bitin' you? Vroooom, vroooom! Hehehehehe.

<VampKira notices that Kismet does not look amused, so she Vampslaps herself>

Actually, my story is similar to most of our posters. I typed in a Google search for Survivor, and ended up at SS. As everyone knows, registration was closed, so I lurked there for a bit, and really enjoyed Aja's dances and the efforts of the spoilers. But that place was a cesspool of bickering and inflated egos, and I can't remember how, but somehow through there I heard about SurvivorBlows, so I popped on over here, and found myself a home.

You most certainly did. You do practically live here. Okay Vamp, truth time.. Who are your favorite posters?

Wow.. I was dreading this one. I have so many. Hell, just about everyone on here! Of course Superman *sigh* is my #1 favorite. In all seriousness, his posts were the ones I rushed to read in beginning... and still are. He has a sense of humor that literally makes me laugh until the blood is gushing from my eyes. His TopTens are second to none. And ummmm...He's quite the looker too!! *sigh* <winks at Superman> Then there's my Itz La La. With her sweet Bubbles and quick wit, I love reading her posts, and she was soooo great at helping me find out the info on the MJ concert.<blows a kiss at Itz> And I must not forget the Monkey. He never ceases to make me smile. His heart is big and full of boyish mischef. This place wouldn't be the same without him.

I also adore Buggy, AyaK, Leifsy, Dangerkitty, SirErist, JV, Sleeeve, Dabo*wakeywakeyhun*, Pepe, Dave, Jizzy, Sammi, Misto, Webby, ICB, Pooh, BA, Ayms, Moon, SuperPole(wherever he is these days), GG, Rio and Roni, see how I put them together? lol. Ko-Ching, Lady T, Mon Cherie, Survivorchick, Ice Cat, Boomer, Mellie, Tink, GT, Dalton, OFG and Rat Chef, who is back after being gone too long, and that fuggin clown, Shakes. Yeah... ya gotta love the clown. And where the hell is Dangerboy? He always votes on Spoilers, but never posts any more. And Kis? you and Pen go without saying. Webby and AK hold a very special place as well. They have truly given us a gift in this place. I mean you have to give them credit. I 'll bet they didn't realize the would end up being the wardens of a looney bin. <smoochie woochies to all of SB> Crap! I know I am forgetting alot of people. Kis, this is a MEAN question. If anyone gets hurt by me leaving them out, it's on YOU!

<Vamp mutters under her breath.>

When isn't it on me Vamp? It's always about me don't you know?<Edited out Kismet's self-centered speech> Oh, I almost forgot about you. Hey how did you become VampKira and what's it like being a vampire?

I first started posting as Lady Electra. Electra was a nick name I was given at work, because I could lift a 250 lb. man without any assistance, and since I am quite thin, they said I must be a superhero, and bestowed upon me that title. Anyway...I am a blonde, and I always wanted to know what I would look like in black hair. One day I just did it. I was amazed at how
different I looked! I have VERY fair skin, and blue eyes, and the contrast with the hair was shocking to me. I thought I looked like a Vampire. I mean I am serious! I looked like one of the undead. Since my name is Kira,(one last time for all those that don't know, it's pronounced Kye-rah the NOT Kee-rah.) the name VampKira popped into my head, and I liked it alot. It was also fitting because I am indeed a creature of the night and always have been. I don't think I ever do much more than bat nap. I usually catch about 3 or 4 hours in the late morning, and the rest of the time I am Still Awake,
<winks at
Superman> so I reregistered as VampKira, and semi-retired Lady Electra after only 14 DAWS. The hair, however had to GO! I was back to my blonde two days later.

So your Favorite poster is Superman. Ya know, sometimes I worry about this.. well let's call it a fatal attraction. Have you always had a thing for superheroes or is this your first? Please try to be brief, some of us aren't going to be here all night...


<Vamp sighs and her blue eyes get all hazy. After a few seconds Kismet claps her hands loudly.>

Kira! Come on girl! Tell us about Supe...

I have always enjoyed Supe's posts. He arrived here on August 11th, one day before I did, so we kind of "grew up" together. His Top Ten's made me laugh out. It wasn't until his psychotic sister decided to kill him in a car accident, that I.. and many others, realized what a huge loss we would suffer if it were true. The Blow Hole was full that night, all of us in there
literally crying our eyes out. I guess it was after he was resurrected, that I decided I wasn't going to take him.. or any of my friends here for granted any more, because you just never know. We have become closer since then. I consider him one of my best friends, and not just here, in "real" life too, and I love him very much. I think alot of us were shocked to find that this place was more than just a message board, and the people more than just posters to us. I also think that Supes near death experience, helped to make us all a "family".

How very touching and true from what I see.

<Vamp smiles at Kis>

I consider you one of my best friends too, Kis! And no, I am NOT sucking up. I mean, I get plenty of sucking action around here you know?

<Kismet cocks an eyebrow.>

WHAT?? Why are you looking at me that way? I am a Vampire fer crissake! What did you think I meant?

<Vamp and Kismet grin at each other and shout simultaneously.>


<From somewhere in the distance, they hear EBug scream.>

You are going to HELL, VampKira! Do you hear me? HELL! I'm telling!

Hang on a second Vamp..

<Kismet motions Hawkeye over. She hands him a set of car keys.>

Ebug needs some fresh air Hawk.. Take her for a drive, you know.. show her some Nascar from the inside...

<Ebug is heard screaming, as Kismet turns back to the camera.>

Speaking of Buggy why do you torture her so with pictures like this?

LMAO! It's her own damn fault. She mentioned once in a post that my bleeding eyes scared her, so how could I resist, I mean.. did you all not read Good vs. Evil? <Vamp snickers.> Besides, she tried to have my BAT Lucky assasinated. And I need him for when I am in the mood for delivery.

So, how do you differ from your BV persona? Do you like the way you were portrayed?

Actually, I am not sure that I know what my BV persona is. *sniiiiiff* As near as I can figure it, the BV VampKira is nothing more than a Glue sniffing, *snniiiiifff* sex crazed *fidgets in her seat* Superhero loving, *SIGHS* revenge seeker. Speaking of.. that TART is the one that should be sent to the corner, NOT me. Anyway, out of those four traits, I believe I only share one with BV's VampKira. I'll just leave it up to yous to figure out which one.

<Vamp smiles groggily and points to the wall>

Purrrrty Greeene Chesks onda wall Kissy.

<Edited out Kismet adding 4 hours to the clock and returning when Vamp is sober again.>

So Vamp..Which of our posters have become Vapiric Pawns? Who is addicted to that tonic of yours?

My pawns? I wouldn't call them pawns. But it is well known that I have turned some of our posters into vampires. Don't let them kid ya, they may complain about the hours, but they love the perks! <Vamp winks into the camera.> Supe was the first mortal I turned.. How do you think he was able to come back from the dead?

Then there's JV, Ice Cat, Sleeeve, and most recently GT. There may be more. Sometimes, when the thirst for blood is great, I black out and don't remember whom I've bitten. As far as the tonic goes, no question that Taginite is the most heavily addicted. I swear he goes out and ties one on just in hopes I will give him a nip in the morning. I mean did you ever read one of his posts? It can give you a migrane! And the other, most recently addicted is Jizz. Lord knows I'll have to mix it up by the vat full for that one. *smiles*

Another moment of truth Vamp, excluding Superman who is your favorite person to flirt with in the bar?

You know, until Dabs Cornertime, I really never saw myself as a flirt, just more of an affectionate person. I mean I give out lots of hugs and smoochies, and of couse vampslaps.. but I could take lessons from some of the other wonderful Bar Flys... That is, if I can sit still for more than 5 seconds. Sherps always comments on how I can't sit still long enough to be flirted with. However, People have to keep in mind that I'm a bat, and the night time is my flight time.

<Vamp turns into a bat and circles above Kismet's head. Kismet tosses some pixie dust at her and she falls painfully to the floor.>

I'm sorry Vamp, but this is still your cornertime so no flying around. You never did say who you like to flirt with the most..


<Kismet points to the ceiling, and VampKira looks up to see a huge black magic eight ball surrounded by thousands of dangling eights. The eight ball reads 'Ask again Later'.>

Okay! okay!!! Christ!! Where's Superman when you need him?

Well, maybe if you hadn't of turned him into a vampire he'd be here in the daytime...

<Kismet presses a button and the magic eight ball begins to lower.>

Get those gawd damn 8's outta here!! I'll tell you! Jeeze! Just make them go AWAY! I suppose if I HAD to pick...I would say Dabo and Jizzy. I mean.. All I have to do, is say, "wakeywakeywakeyhun" to dabs, and all I have to do for Jizz, is vampslap him.. and they just BEAM! *evil grin*.. I am subtle.. but I get under their skin.. <winks at Kismet> It may come in handy down the road... Not that I am saying I have evil plans or anything... but.. <sings> "I know what boys like, I know what guys want... "

<Vamp holds her stomach in a fit of giggles. The magic eight ball raises up out of sight. It has stopped on 'It is not clear.'>

You have been on the board forever and a day. What is the funniest thing you have seen?

Wow.. I don't think that's possible. I mean, I laugh my ass off on a daily basis around here. All of you are wonderfully witty. Even when things heat up, there is always something here to make you smile. Shakes Summaries.. always shocking, always funny. Supe's Top Tens, the one and only King. A Post by any of our posters at one time or another. I'm not waffling, I really can't pick just one thing. I will say though, that the bar is where the funniest things happen. When the room gets on a roll with something.. .. you'll laugh yourself to tears. It's not just a bar, it's a comedy club.

Only the crowd is tougher to please... Ok Vamp, Tell us more about you..

Let's see.. I am married and have two children. Brandon my son will be 12 in September, and Kyla, my mini me, who will be 8 in August. Alot of you know I am a singer. Mostly rock and metal, but also pop and rap. I know Sugar Hill's "Rappers Delight".. all fifteen minutes of it, by heart! <Vamp beams> I am currently not with a band, but not for lack of offers. I simply refuse to sing any crap. And there's alot of crap out there. Apparently these days, people are into the crap.

<Vamp shakes her head.>

Well, it sounds like the bar is hopping so I'm going to head on over there now. Is there anything else you want us to know?

Just that ALL of you mean the world to me, and I hope we all stay together for a very, very, long time. I love you guys....

Aww Vamps. That so sweet. Now stop mugging for the camera and face the corner. The menfolk really want a nice slow pan. Thanks for the interview. This concludes this cornertime episode.

<The Camera switches to a nice pan down and a slow zoom on Vamps 'nether region'. The video slowly fades out and we hear audio of Vamp 'vampslaping' the cameraman.>


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