The banana arrived in Arizona and was immediately greeted by an extremely cute, wide-eyed three-year old. She thought it would be funny to try to eat the banana.
He took to the little girl rather quickly (despite the fact that she thought of him as a snack) and he played dress-up with her.
He got a little carried away with the dress-up fun
(that's an Indiana Jones hat, if you can't tell)
But all that dressing up made the banana sad. He'd been having so much fun playing all over the continent, but he really thought it was time he ventured out and found himself a job!
First stop: Supercuts.
He got one look at the scissors and split. I told him he'd find the right job - one that didn't involve sharp objects.
Second stop: Chili's.
Now, for some reason the banana thought he could pass as a chili pepper. I told him that there was such a thing as banana peppers, but that the restaurant would want chilis - hence the name. The hostess and manager were both very kind to the banana and informed him that they'd have hired him if he were red. The banana thought maybe that was some sort of discrimination.
Third stop: Architectural firm
The banana thought he'd try his hand at architecture...until he realized that he didn't have hands and that it might be a bit hard to draw plans without them.
Fourth stop: Construction site
The banana thought maybe construction would be a good idea - after all he was the same color as the equipment! He climbed onto a backhoe - donning the required safety vest - but it didn't take long for the construction workers to take note of the banana's incompetence within the field.
The banana was informed that even if he were to learn how to use the equipment, he'd need a license to operate the machinery.
Fifth stop: The Surprise, AZ DMV (or as it's called in back-a$$ward Arizona, the MVD - not to be confused with BVDs)
Locals all know that it's pretty easy to get a license at the Surprise MVD. The banana had no trouble getting himself his very own driver's license.
Within a few minutes, I realized something...being in possession of a license does not a good driver make.
Whew, that was close!
Sixth stop: White Tank Mountains
The banana thought maybe he was just out of his element in these other jobs...that he needed something more in synch with nature. So he thought he'd try mountian climbing.
He was doing pretty well until he got a little too close to a cactus
...and got dehydrated...which sent him tumbling down the side of the mountain.
The banana composed himself and went home, feeling deflated. He decided to go online to look for a sign...a sign that would lead him down the career path that was right for him. He came across an article...
"Group to Air Ad Attacking Kerry's 1971 Testimony."
He thought back to the many war stories his uncle had told him...he was curious and decided to look through his uncle's old military scrapbooks
As he turned the page, he found the picture he was looking for.
His uncle had told stories about the heroism he'd witnessed on that day. Seeing this picture now hurt him...it hurt in his heart and he knew he needed to do something to heal his wounded heart.
Oops, wrong band-aid. He realized that he needed to take some action! He wasn't going to sit idly by and do nothing! He sought out a group of protestors demonstrating for a deserving cause.
That was it! He'd go into politics. I mean, he wasn't much good at anything else, so he figured it was the best career for him!
As he sat staring into the beautiful Arizona sunset
...he reflected on his possible future as a powerful politician.
As you can see, his trip to Arizona was most fruitful!
"Here is my secret. It's quite simple: One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."
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Slice & Dice Chop Shop 2004
Sliced. Again.
