Official “The Apprentice” Episode 6 Summary: Now, What Was Your Name Again?

The official title of this episode is “Tit for Tat”. Sigh. Janet Jackson’s everywhere these days. Can’t we all just move along?

Boardroom…The Aftermath of the Blood Bath

Kwame and Troy are giving the folks back at the suite the lowdown on all of the sniping that took place in the Boardroom. Guess who they don’t want to see come walking through that door? I knew you could. Heidi comes in first and is greeted with squeals and hugs, and then…Omarosa’s entrance sucks the life out of the room faster than Sam ever could. Omarosa’s amused.

Heidi wants a smoke, so Protégé heads out to the terrace to discuss the next PM. Omarosa quickly volunteers. Later, she cackles to the camera, “If I pull off a victory, I will seal my fate in this game.”

Lose, Protégé. Lose.

On Thin Ice

The next day, the teams are summoned to Wollman Rink. The Donald, shrinking violet that he is, explains how it used to be an eyesore. The city tried to build a rink in Central Park, but of course they screwed it up. Luckily for the people of New York (and, sniff, the world), The Donald put on his white hat, rode in, and saved the day ahead of schedule and under budget. Poor guy, having to toot his own horn. He explains that it’s important to give back to the community, especially after you bleed it dry for all the tacky furnishings and poor hairpieces that you can find. I’m surprised he didn’t lecture them how only you can prevent forest fires. But no, he proceeded to explain the task – put on a celebrity auction to raise money for the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation.

Silly Versacorp – yet again, they waited until they found out what the task was before choosing a project manager. They claim it’s because they wanted to find out what it was so that they could pick a PM whose skills would be better utilized, but we all know that was just a ploy to delay Tammy’s whining. Bill is the man in charge for Versacorp, and we’re now introduced to the thoroughbreds in their fleet of horses for this race:

- Regis Philbin, who just never is on TV enough these days.
- Rocco DiSpirito, another celebrity reality show media whore.
- Carson Daly, who gets some primetime on a network that isn’t in trouble with the FCC.
- Tiki Barber, graduate of the most wonderful university in the world and fumbler, I mean, running back for the biggest group of losers on the planet.
- Executive producer of “Third Watch”, yet another show on NBC Friday night that nobody watches.

Let’s head across the room now, and let Protégé introduce us to their stable of celebrities:
- Russell Simmons, hip-hop mogul.
- Kate White, Editor in Chief of Cosmo, who basically coasts by just changing the titles to the same articles on astrology and orgasms and runs the same stuff every month.
- Nicole Miller – fashion designer
- The Fab 5 from “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”. First Rocco from “The Restaurant”, now the “Queer Eye” guys. Cross-promote much, NBC?
- Isaac “how do you pronounce that” Mizrahi. That’s Omarosa’s pet name for him.

Study the lists carefully, boys and girls. Picked a winning team yet? Thought so.

Bill tells his team that they need to schedule meetings with these folks as soon as possible. Tiki’s really accommodating, since he’s not bogged down with post-season celebrations, Pro Bowl appearances, ESPY awards, etc. Amy has a blast talking to “Reege” on the phone, and Ereka’s psyched about meeting him. As the team divides to conquer, someone asks where Tammy is. Even when she’s standing right in front of them, they all wonder about the answer to that question. Amy, Ereka, and Tammy are heading out to see Carson Daly. Katrina, Nick, and Bill are heading to meet with Tiki.

Omarosa explains that Protégé has two meetings today scheduled with Russell Simmons and Isaac “Mizari”. She laughs as she butchers his name but promises to have it right before she meets him. Yeah, wanna bet?

Omarosa’s in the cab with Heidi when she gets a call from Jessie. Jessie and Kwame want the telephone number for the contact at the charity. Silly Jessie thinks it would actually be useful to have information on the charity that they’re representing in this auction. Hmmm, wanting to sound intelligent during a presentation? Omarosa tells Jessie she wants to speak to Kwame. She babbles to Kwame that she plans on calling the person later, but that since they’re at their destination, they’ll just have to wait until they all get back together. Before he can protest, she’s hung up on them, and is quite proud that she bagged them since they wouldn’t listen to her. I’d make a pot and kettle reference right here, but we all know what happened the last time someone did that around Omarosa.

Oh goody, after the commercial break, it’s time for Uncle Donald’s Lesson Time! Yippee! Listen closely, because they might be words of wisdom. “Know What You’re Up Against.” The lesson for today, boys and girls, is to figure out your opponent so you don’t look like an idiot. Obviously, The Donald has never competed against a hairdresser.

Meet and…Greet? Or Just Piss Off?

Protégé’s first appointment is with Russell Simmons. Kwame is the pilot, and Omarosa’s the copilot. Could someone hand me a parachute, please? Kwame starts his pitch, but he’s obviously not impressing Mr. Simmons, who asks if he’s an attorney. Finally, after watching his teammates flail wildly through one rejected idea after another, Cowboy Troy closes the deal with his accent.

Next we see the Versacorp women meeting with Carson Daly. Amy and Ereka are making progress, since Carson does seem receptive to the idea of backstage access at a major concert he’s hosting. Somehow, this reception did not reach to Tammy’s planet, since she suddenly brings up the idea of Carson and Tiger Woods in a golfing foresome. Amy and Ereka roll their eyes as Tammy continues to blow off their celebrity by trying to exploit his contacts to “real” celebrities. The women with a clue do bring the conversation back around to the details of the concert, but Tammy just doesn’t want to let go of the golf idea. She shows her obvious illiteracy when it comes to reading people, since she’s missing the eye rolls by Carson, her teammates, the camera crew, and everyone else in the Tri-State area. Amy comments later that Tammy is a loose cannon, and if Amy had her way, Tammy would never be at another meeting.

Queer Eye for the Cowguy

It’s time for Protégé to meet the Fab 5. Troy wanted to have a strategy when they went in there. Since these guys are known for critiquing straight men’s fashion sense, and Troy is straight (are you sure, Troy? Because you’re from Idaho, and only two things come from Idaho, steers and queers. And I don’t see no horns.), he decides to take his belt off before the meeting. It works. They bit and immediately started in on how naked a man is without his belt. After watching two meetings get off to an awkward start, it’s fun to watch everyone give snaps for a good cause and easily negotiate their way to a disco bowling party. Heidi is proud of how she closed the deal and says she works well with Troy.

Back to Versacorp, where they’ve split up the team between Tiki, the “Third Watch”, and Rocco. Which meeting do we get to see? The one with Tammy, of course. This time, she’s pitching a trip to a chateau in the Loire Valley. Um, Rocco doesn’t have a chateau. Or a plane. You know what he does have? A restaurant. Amy and Ereka have the wild idea that Rocco donate a dinner for 50. Tammy still wants to fly somewhere. Amy and Ereka are willing to put her in a cargo hold right now.

Now, What Was That Name Again?

We get to see snippets of Protégé’s meeting with Kate White and Nicole Miller. Omarosa drops names from her days shredding papers at the White House, which impresses the Cosmo editor. Now we’re off to their last meeting with Mr. Target himself, Isaac Mizrahi. Jessie is the pilot on this pitch. (And I’m still confused. I thought the plane thing was way too many challenges ago.) Jessie.talked.like.he.had.never.heard.English...before. He even commented on the fact that he was, in fact, having no trouble understanding the language. Omarosa steps in, claiming it’s because Jessie was being patronizing, but really because she doesn’t think anyone else can do anything right. Omarosa then proceeds to use yet another new pronounciation of Isaac’s last name. That makes her 0 for 3 so far for this episode on the guy’s name. Which brings to mind the question – which is more insulting, speaking slowly to someone who understands English, or mispronouncing his name as you’re trying to get him to contribute to a charity? Before this ship completely sinks, Troy jumps in and suggests a preview showing of some of Isaac’s designs. As George looks on, the team finally seals the deal.

Extra-Curriculars

Nick, Bill, and Amy are in a cab. Amy is filling the guys in on Tammy’s disastrous day. She talks about shooshing Tammy during a meeting, and tries to palm Tammy off on Nick. He knows better and playfully shooshes Amy. She doesn’t like to be shooshed. Nick complains that he thought Amy liked a take-charge kinda guy, but she replies it has to be on her terms. In other words, Nick will only get to wear the pants when Amy says it’s OK.

Is That Your Final Embarrassment?

Amy, Bill, and Tammy head over to see Regis Philbin. Bill makes the understatement of the year when he’s concerned that Tammy will embarrass them. For some reason, Tammy is under the impression that Amy is faltering (must be tired after cleaning up Tammy’s messes the day before) and jumps in with the idea of…a trip. Yup, she’s still off on some journey that others just can’t understand. Amy brings the meeting back around by asking what events Regis will be hosting, and the group finally gets a commitment to a day with Regis culminating with a night at an Atlantic City nightclub where he’ll be. Tammy is worried they didn’t shoot high enough.

Speaking of high enough, Regis has a Notre Dame inspirational sign above his office door. Bill and Amy show their respect for their host by reaching up and touching the sign as they walk out the door. Tammy just turns and says she can’t reach. Regis leaves behind them, touching the sign.

Hawking the Wares

It’s the big night, and we’re at Sotheby’s. Each of the teams is in a skybox to watch how things turn out.

Lot 1 – Disco Bowling with the Fab 5. Omarosa’s excited about this one, because she thinks it could be big. It ends up going for $9,000. Lot 2 – Day With Regis. Bill’s nervous after Protégé’s strong start. This one goes for $6,000. Amy has a pit in her stomach. Next, Isaac’s preview goes for $7,000. Things heat up for Rocco’s restaurant package, which brings $13,000. Bill starts to get pumped. Bidding continues, with Kate White’s package going for $6,000 and the walk-on on “Third Watch” goes for $7,000. (Hint, use that one fast, who knows how long that show is sticking around.) Protégé gets another $6,000 for the Nicole Miller apprenticeship, but Versacorp only earns $4,000 for Tiki’s. After Protégé earns $7,000 for the Russell Simmons evening, it’s down to the final bidding – Carson Daly. Paddles fly, with the lucky winner finally putting down $10,000.

Those of us keeping score at home already knew the results, but The Donald calls the teams together in a conference room to give them the news. They raised $75,000 for the foundation, with Versacorp winning 40-35. Their reward? Helping others. Then he tells Omarosa he’s not upset, but someone on her team has to go.

Celebrate Good Times, Come On

Versacorp is happy. How can we tell? First, Nick is mocking Troy in the boardroom. But the biggest sign is that people are even being nice to Tammy. Sort of. They are in left field, Tammy’s in right field, and what does she do when the ball’s hit to her? She hesitantly says, “I catch it?” Good girl, Tammy. You may not be on the same page as the rest of your team, but at least you’re in the same book for once.

Meanwhile, the shooshing between Amy and Nick has turned into smooching, as the two decide to mix some business with some pleasure. Amy tells him about her failed marriage, while Nick tells her what he plans to name his kids. Nick comments that women have been the cause of many men’s downfall, but “it won’t be me”. Only time will tell, Nick.

The Boardroom

Omarosa’s not concerned about the Boardroom because she can talk circles around anyone. At least, as long as it doesn’t involve pronouncing people’s names correctly. She then proceeds to mock each one of her teammates before going in to tell Jessie that she’s taking her to the Boardroom because she sucked in her negotiation. Jessie cries to the camera that what matters is the character behind the person. Um Jessie, character does matter, like whether or not your character is entertaining enough to keep on the show.

In the Boardroom, Troy comments that he questioned Omarosa at the beginning but thought she did an excellent job leading the project. Heidi also admits to being pleasantly surprised by Omarosa on the task, but is so noncommittal on who should be fired that The Donald asks her if she can make a decision. Heidi finally comments on Jessie’s performance. Kwame follows this up with a non-answer about Jessie’s negotiation being the hardest.

The Donald: Omarosa, how did Heidi do?

Omarosa: For an unprofessional, classless bitch, she was surprisingly good.

The Donald: So Heidi, if someone said that to me, that would be the worst compliment ever. But since she’s talking to you, is it really that bad?

Heidi: You know, I like that classless whore now. But I have class. If I show you my breasts, can I stay?

The Donald: Omarosa, what do you think of Jessie?

Omarosa: You know, when she grows up, she might just grow to the point of being mildly incompetent.

The Donald: Jessie, what do you think of Omarosa?

Jessie: I like her. She talks to me like my last boyfriend did.

The Donald: You’re either lying or stupid.

Jessie: Or both.

The Donald: Omarosa’s being rude to everyone.

Omarosa: I’m not rude.

Caroline: Omarosa, what’s Isaac’s last name?

(pause)

Omarosa: It’s a pet peeve of mine when people can’t say my name right. But what’s the big deal? He designs for Target.

The Donald: OK, I’m sick of talking to you losers. Omarosa, you’re nominating your girlfriends, aren’t you? Then the boys can go upstairs while we trash the women in here.

Heidi, Omarosa, and Jessie hang out in the lobby. George trashes Omarosa’s leadership qualities. Caroline says she’s capable, but didn’t today. Obviously, since they’re trashing Omarosa, there’s no way she’s the one leaving. Sigh. They bring the three back in.

Jessie argues in the Boardroom about character mattering, and that she and Heidi have character. The Donald lets her babble on for awhile before getting bored and deciding to draw the attention back to himself by announcing the decision. He states the obvious by announcing that Omarosa is rude. That’s like calling the kettle…oops, can’t go there. Anyway, he hated the way that Jessie took her crap, so he says those two little words to Jessie. After all, he’s still amused by Omarosa’s delusion that she actually has a chance of winning this game, and he’s not going to make the same mistake he did with Sam. He’ll dangle the string in front of this kitten for a little while longer before sending her to the streets.

Snarky, smart, S7 Anti-Bootee Champ