That’s the Story of my Life
Previously on the Surreal Life: well you can catch that here from Scuba Steve. He did an excellent summary detailing the introduction of this bunch of nuts.
With that out of the way, here are the crazies if you’re just joining us:
Sherman Helmsley, most notably known as George Jefferson in The Jefferson’s.
C. C. Deville, guitarist for the mid-80’s rockers, Poison.
Tawny Kitaen, vixen from the Whitesnake video, actress in Bachelor Party, and hostess of America’s Funniest People.
Steve Harwell, front man for current rock and rollers, Smashmouth.
Andrea Lowell, Playboy cover girl and talent on Playboy TV.
Alexis Arquette, from the Hollywood Arquettes (David’s brother), male transgendering into female, pure shock value personality for the house.
Maven (Huffman), male winner of the original WWE Tough Enough, released from WWE last year. (Cost cutting move, although Scuba was right he did suck at times….)
And also the resident shrink, Florence Henderson, as Dr. Flo. She apparently has some training in hypnotherapy. She doesn’t live in the house, but stops by daily for advice and whatnot.
We start the morning with C.C. on the treadmill doing his running for the day. Maven is reminiscing about seeing all of the other cast mates in his childhood and being awed by living with them in Surreal Life’s Do Tell Motel.
Paper arrives: Apparently Steve’s band Smashmouth has a new single, “The Story of My Life” but it needs a video. The concept of the video is that Steve’s at a roadside motel and can’t find his room and is continuously opening the wrong hotel doors. The scenes of the video are to be completely done by the cast. Tawny has been appointed Producer for the video. They’re on a budget ($1500) and must be done shooting by 9:00pm that night. During brainstorming Steve’s begging Tawny to re-create the scene from the Whitesnake video. (for those of you too young to remember it, a barely dressed Tawny was writhing on a car. During that video she had a slight wardrobe malfunction, of course when all you have on for a top is a big collared shirt and nothing else what did you expect?) They also contact Dr. Flo to participate in the video, originally Steve wanted her in leather. She wasn’t pleased. So she’ll meet the rest of the cast at the prop house to get costumes and stuff for the video. Steve, however, is rounding up the rest of Smashmouth, and setting up the video equipment.
After some major bickering at the prop shop, the total bill came to $932. Tawny was basically trying to keep under budget so much that she constantly rejected people’s ideas for costumes and props. Tawny was so happy that she was so under budget. However, when she told Steve this, he wondered why didn’t she spend the whole budget!?! He’s already got gloom and doom written on his face. Steve basically starts to spearhead the shoot to get things done because everybody got P.O.’d at Tawny at the prop shop.
Video time: First up Flo and C.C. are in a scene depicting lead audition tryouts. Next up, Tawny dressed up as a nun?!? (Oh brother!) Florence refuses to participate in that scene. (She was raised by nuns) Florence exits stage left in a huff, pulled by a tizzy. The clock advances some and we have a group shot with just about everyone on the cast appearing with the band at one time with Tawny in a clinging black number right next to Steve. Okay, now it’s time to recreate the famous scene. Only now she’s wearing pink fishnets (left over from the nun fiasco) and a blue flowered dress. A myriad of scenes then progress quickly to wrap up the video including Maven in a little sex scene involving Andrea and also the girls as maids.
After the video we’ve got a Margarita celebration party!!!! (Uh-oh!!! Steve, C.C. and Tawny all recovering addicts of various types, and C.C. only got out of rehab the morning the show started.) C.C. opts for a non-tequila version. Now they’ve got a party game: each cast member’s margarita glass has a couple slips of paper. They choose one and perform the dare on the chosen paper.
Andrea: Jump in the pool, naked! (Yes!) (Tawny calls her a slut. Pot, kettle’s over here calling you names again!)
C. C.: Give someone, Andrea, a kiss full on the lips. (Actual wording was “kiss your favorite cast mate”)
Alexis: Give someone, Maven in this case, a lap dance! (Yikes!)
Maven: Three words: “Whipped Cream Bikini“. (The ladies will like this. Me? Not so much….*blech!*)
The remaining dares were either too boring or too stupid, as they weren’t shown.
After they say their goodnights, we’re treated to the world premiere of the “Story of My Life” video. The little note says to go to VH1.com for the whole video.
Next time: They go to San Luis Obispo to participate in one of the stations’ 6:30 newscasts. Alexis is ticked that she’s picked to be the producer for the group. (“God forbid they put a tranny on the evening news!” she whines) Bystander’s got that one.
Because 3 Vinces are better than one.