Skating with Celebrities: Episode 5
I Missed the Olympic Pairs Long Program for This
I’d like to preface this summary by stating that I’m writing this as the show airs. I have a paper due Wednesday, so I don’t have time to watch it more than once. I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize to the three people who watch this show for my lack of detail…
Tonight’s elimination will be different. The pair with the highest marks advances to the finale, but the other two teams will have a skate off where one team will skate the first half of a song, and the second will skate the other half. The judges won’t score it, but they’ll pick their favorite. It’s unclear whether they know the song ahead of time or if they just make it up as they go along.
Back in the day, some really, really small competitions used to do something similar to this. They played an unknown song once in warmup, then the skaters went out and choreographed as they went along. Pairs, however, wouldn’t really work with this since it’s assumed that both people will do the same thing at the same time. I’ll assume they know what the song is.
The element of choice tonight is a one foot glide with either a change of edge or direction, but I’m not sure which. It doesn’t really matter because they’ve all been doing both of these for the past two weeks.
Tonight the judges choose songs, so there is no theme.
They’ve doubled their ice time, but Jillian’s schedule is hectic and she’s hurt. Poor, poor baby. Her feet hurt and she’s tired. I feel exactly zero sympathy for her.
They’re skating to Semi-Charmed Kind of Life.
They dance. For a long time. Footwork is okay. They do a split jump followed by a toe loop. Their spirals are NOT held for long at all. Technically, a spiral does not count unless it’s held for 3 seconds. They held theirs for approximately 0.3 seconds. She does a bad camel spin where not one part of her body is in a good position. They do some lifts, then throw waltz jumps where John shows he’s too strong and almost throws her across the rink. A spin, and it’s over.
That seemed short. This takes a lot less time when I don’t have to hit pause.
Mark Lund: They were hot last time. This time he was semi-charmed. The point was to show variety. The spin was the same as last week. The jump was the same as last week. They need variety.
Dorothy Hamill: It was very ambitious. They’ve picked up the technical tricks. Nothing bad to say, everything was stunning and fun.
John Nicks: So musical, so smooth, choreographical gem. Couldn’t find a mistake, however, there was very little difficulty. Their competitors have done throw axels, one handed lifts, death spirals, they did not. Wonderful potential, perhaps one day they’ll get there.
John Nicks: 9.1 When did we move into 9.somethings? Was that an unwritted rule? We get to a certain week and the scores automatically go up a point?
Dorothy Hamill: 9.3
Mark Lund: 9.2
They’re skating their butts off. The pressure is greater than ever. They must find a faster rhythm and more complicated moves. Tai is questioning herself but can’t let Bruce down.
Skating to Summer of 69.
They dance. They skate and do a lift. Bruce doesn’t do so well at moving in synch with Tai tonight. They dance (sort of). They do nice three turns and a waltz jump toe loop combination. Bunny hops lead into skating and a dip. Another three turn, then another dip. Bruce skates painfully slow. In fact, him trying to skate fast makes him look slower. Otherwise, he’s improved.
John Nicks: Bruce looked more secure tonight. They interpreted the music better, but Tai doesn’t fool them. They have to judge them as a pair, not just Tai.
Mark Lund: Improved tempo and speed, but lack of choreography. He really liked the death spiral a couple of weeks ago. They should have a signature move that they do each time.
Dorothy Hamill: They do middle aged America justice. Bruce looks solid when lifting Tai. Tai is perfect.
John Nicks: 8.9
Dorothy Hamill: 9.2
Mark Lund: 9.0
John Nicks: 9.0
Dorothy Hamill: 9.2
Mark Lund: 9.1
Lloyd is like a big brother. They have similar senses of humor. Kristy is fearless. She trusts Lloyd.
Skating to I’ll Be.
Lloyd carries her around for a while then turns it into a nice lift. They do an inside edge into a nice forward outside spiral, and then she turns to a back inside spiral. They do a paired spin. Lots of three turns, then a spiral and some footwork into a waltz jump. Another lift, and he spins her around. Some slow skating, and they’re done.
Wow. Kristy’s gotten SOOOOOOOOOO much better. I enjoyed it. Amazing.
Dorothy Hamill: The connection was there. It was hot, sexy, seamless. He loved it.
Mark Lund: They inspired him. Wonderful job.
John Nicks: He was really impressed by Kristy’s spirals. Her leg was high. It was a pity that Lloyd couldn’t do the same thing. Lloyd is strong and athletic. She follows his lead much better than before.
John Nicks: 9.5
Dorothy Hamill: 9.5
Mark Lund: 9.8
John Nicks: 9.8
Dorothy Hamill: 9.6
Mark Lund: 9.8
Jillian/John and Tai/Bruce will be in the skate-off.
John says they need to play their game and be consistent. Bruce says they have tricks coming up in the skate-off. They held back because they knew they’d be in the skate-off anyway. He bribed Tai with dinner to get her to do one of the tricks.
Have I mentioned how much I hate that they call them tricks? My dog does tricks. My skaters do elements.
The judges will take into account both performances from tonight.
The song for the skate-off is Walkin’ on the Sun.
John and Jillian do footwork that would be hard if it was done properly. They skate and do some funny flip lifts. Another lift. This one is not funny.
John and Jillian exit as Bruce and Tai enter.
Bruce and Tai skate around. A lot. They do a death spiral. They do throw waltz jumps. They do paired inside spread eagles.
John/Jillian come back out, and both teams do a final spin.
Mark Lund: The teams don’t make it easy. John/Jillian had wonderful footwork but need to connect. Tai/Bruce had a good death spiral.
John Nicks: John/Jillian are the best skaters, but they’re fighting for their lives. He doesn’t understand. Tai/Bruce had a good death spiral. They’re the sentimental favorites, but sentimentality doesn’t affect his judgement. Goodluck.
Dorothy Hamill: Both couples were the best she’s seen in the whole comp. John/Jillian work so hard together and have come a long way. The first performance emphasized the tricks and was missing sexiness, but it was there in the skate0off. Bruce/Tai are classic, elegant, timeless. It’s hard to find anything bad, Bruce needs to smile more. He’s working hard but it’s supposed to look easy.
The judges will vote for their favorites. Yep. Vote. I think they should play Rock, Paper, Scissors instead. Or maybe draw straws.
The name of the team moving on is in the envelope.
Jillian and John move on. Big surprise.
We have a sappy montage of clips of Bruce and Tai from the season, complete with sentimental music.
Tai cries as they leave.
Don’t even think about missing the finale next week. Except according to Fox it isn’t next week, even though Scott said it is. It’s in two weeks. Good to know. You'd think they could have done a voiceover or something so that it wasn't so obvious that the show has already taped. Check your local listings just to be sure. You wouldn't want to miss it.