LAST EDITED ON 07-13-06 AT 09:29 AM (EST)
Welcome To My Nightmare
Last time on Big Brother, we saw 14 former contestants enter the house, one of whom is the most vile, disgusting player of all time!!! …or at least the last 3 seasons. Yes, that’s right, I am forced to see this horrible specimen on my screen, for now. Well, at least she was nominated!!! If you haven’t guessed by now, I’m talking about Alison, who I will now refer to as BARF ~ Beeyotchy Azzhole Reality Fockhead, because I can’t even type her name without being forced to vomit several times!
Oh! Yeah, and we also saw Janelle and Jase win co-Head Of Household positions and agree to nominate BARF along with Danielle. Those people actually wanted Jase to disagree with Janelle’s nominations so he, himself would be automatically nominated along with Janelle. What kind of moronic plan would that be? Who in their right mind would take the chance of putting themselves on the block?!?!? Well, except for maybe Marcellas.
We begin on Day 3 in the house. BARF says she will inflict pure misery on this house! Ummm… just seeing your nasty face is pure misery! Danielle tells us she was never nominated in BB3. She intends to keep quiet and let BARF sink herself. BARF wants to confront Janelle and Jase and find out why they were nominated, so she and Danielle go up to the HOH room to ask. The HOHs tell them it’s because they hatched the plan to have Jase disagree with Janelle’s nominations. BARF swears that she only told Boogie and James, we then get a Big Brother flashback to the backyard showing BARF telling Diane, Jase and Boogie of the plan. Oh! Look! BARF hasn’t changed since she was last in the house! She’s already telling lies! Slimebag! BARF leaves and Danielle hangs back to tell the HOHs that she’s not with BARF and the plan was all hers. More lies! BARF goes back up alone a few minutes later to tell the HOHs that the plan was Danielle’s. I say we send them both home!!! Can we do that?
Now we’re seeing Howie who is eyeing up Will in the exercise room, then the backyard, then the bedroom and the bathroom. Will is in the shower and Howie gets in there with him. Will apparently has a stalker in the house! Will tells Howie that he’s never had a retarded friend before. Bwahh!
Later on we’re off to the kitchen and BARF is talking to Janelle and Jase. She goes upstairs to spy on them from the HOH room using the spy screen. I’d have slapped her so hard if she went in my HOH room like that! Heck! I’d slap her hard every damn day if I ever had the chance to be that close, not that I would want to, mind you, be that close that is. Besides, she’d really hate being covered in my vomit all the time!
Excuse me a minute…
ARGH!!! Why CBS? WHY!!! Why did you have to choose this beeyotch to be on this show again??? She sucks at life! …and I hate her more than I hate Tom Cruise! More than I hate Britney Spears even!!! …and I really hate her! Watching BARF on my TV screen is worse than having to listen to non-stop Britney Spears songs! FOR LIFE!!!
Okay! I feel better now! Phew!
Now… where was I? Oh yeah!
The hamsters are all abuzz with a bunch of chatter about the four BB6 people in the house because, apparently 4 people is a GIGUNDO alliance! They figure they will have to break up that group and they all assume the 4 are definitely together. Well, folks, you will have to start beating all 4 of them out in the competitions now, won’t you?
There is discussion in the HOH room between Janelle, Marcellas and Erika about who to vote out this week. Marcellas really wants Danielle out and Erika wants BARF gone! They kind of reason out that BARF is more of a threat to win competitions, but Marcellas insists he still wants Danielle gone first.
After some commercials, hilarity ensues! We come back to Chicken George “snoring like a 400 pound baby hippopotamus”! LOL!!! That’s what Will says. There is a bunch of footage of random snoring sessions from the past few days in the house. It was hilarious! Then, since the hamsters are already bored, they decide to make an All Stars slip and slide in the backyard! Each take their turns sliding across the garbage bags covered in oil, shampoo and various other slippery household items. In the end, they send the tandem of Howie and George across the slide. Marcellas said, "Seeing George mounting Howie almost turned me straight!" Oh what fun!
Now it’s time for the POV competition! The hamsters are told there is a new twist this season! The nominees and the HOHs are no longer going to choose POV partners. Instead, the other 2 POV players will be chosen by a random draw. Jase and Janelle stand near the “spinning wheel of doom!!!” marked with each hamster’s name that is not an HOH nor a nominee. The 2 nominees will each take a spin and whoever it lands on will play in the POV competition. BARF spins and it lands on Kaysar!!! Danielle spins and it lands on George. So our players are set! The host that is chosen is Boogie, who tells the players to get their swimsuits on and out to the backyard they go!
The competition will be… dumpster diving!!! Boogie explains that in the mess that is all the props from the former Big Brother houses, there are red veto symbols which they must find and place on the board in each contestants individual dumpster. …but first! Big Brother has a few more items they need to send to the dump! They will not be having PB & J this year, so all the PB & J sandwiches are dumped on their heads, followed by hairy shower water, mud, fish chum and iced clam sundaes! Ewwww!!! They must be smelling pretty ripe by now!
Boogie gives them the signal to go!!! Danielle finds the first veto symbol. Kaysar finds one and then another. Janelle finds her first. Danielle finds her second. Jase, George, and BARF have none yet. Janelle has two veto symbols. BARF finds her first one. Janelle finds her third. Jase finds his first. George finds his first. Janelle finds her fourth. Danielle finds her third. Janelle finds her fifth one. Kaysar finds his third one and then his fourth. Jase finds his second one. Janelle finds her sixth and last one.
Janelle wins the Power of Veto!!!
BARF is pissed!!! She’s mad that Janelle won HOH and the POV in the first week!
Jase says he let Janelle win! To take the target off of his back and put it on hers. Pffft! You only had two vetos, man! How was that letting her win?
So then we see some scheming about the house. BARF thinks Danielle is safe this week. Will is “just there to stir up the pot” and tells people that Danielle and James are working together. They tell James. He thinks they should take Danielle off and put Will up. A few confessionals later, and…
We are on to the POV ceremony! Janelle give each nominee a chance to tell why she should use the veto on them. BARF blah blahs some BS about how she doesn’t see her using it because she was the one who nominated them and Danielle basically dittos everything she said. Of course, Janelle chooses not to use it!
BARF tells us she will be coming after Janelle and it won’t be pretty! Yeah, well… BARF? You have to stay in the house to do that! Now don’t you???
Who will be evicted? …and who will be the next Head of Household? Find out Thursday!
Chant with me!!! *vote for BARF**vote for BARF**vote for BARF**vote for BARF**vote for BARF**vote for BARF**vote for BARF*
This time? I will use the Veto on myself! I'm not gonna fall for that again!