Science Doesn't Allow It.
Ep 6, aired 7/11/2005, from 8 to 9 PM, EST
Fireworks at the DC Mall. I hope you all had a happy and safe fourth of July!
2 Weeks ago Chris gets the boot, after his best friend and arch-rival Michael chooses him for elimination, along with Elsie. Satan reminds us growth and improvement are more important than experience (camera focus on Ralph, who looks somewhat amused at Chris' departure.)
Opening sequence As someone on this forum has previously pointed out, Ramsey shakes his head in disapproval for all of the candidates except for one.
Elsie is in shock that Chris was eliminated instead of her. Jessica hugs her and reassures her that she deserves to be there. I don't blame Elsie for being in shock, as this was the first time Ramsey chose a male over a female in an elimination!
Smoking on the patio. Chef Ramsey has higher expectations of the more experienced Chefs.
Michael to Ralph: I really didn't think Chef would choose him. I didn't want to put Jimmy in there, either.
Turning to Jimmy: Do you think I made the wrong decision?
Jimmy, of course, says no.
The teams return to Hell's Kitchen, where Chef Ramsey informs them last night wasn't that good, and he really thought the experienced Chefs would shine.
Elsie: Yes, Chef.
Chef: You deserve to be here.
Elsie: Thank you.
Chef Ramsey tells Ralph he was somewhat sloppy for an executive Chef.
Bland Blind Tasting Challenge
A Master Chef should have an impeccable palate. Identifying flavors is absolutely crucial. In this challenge, each person will taste four different foods and the team with the most right wins. The winning team gets to hang out in Hell with Satan. The losers get to clean up the kitchen mess from last night.
First up - Office Assistant Andrew and Purchasing Supervisor Jimmy. What does a Purchasing Supervisor do? Watch other people buy stuff?
Chef Ramsey taunts the blindfolded and earphoned Andrew in a lame attempt at humour.
"Can you hear me, you puffed up politician?"
To Jimmy: "What's it like to be slim? He definitely can't hear me."
suckups others laugh it up at their team mates' expense.
Andrew: Chef Ramsey taps you, and you've got to open wide, which is a scary thought.
Chef tells Jimmy not to eat his fingers, while putting food in Jimmy's mouth. Jimmy can't hear him.
Andrew correctly identifies the first food as chicken, but Jimmy thinks it is "meat tortelli with a bit of sweated onion in the background". This causes Chef Ramsey to ROTF (roll on the floor), then uses his first (bleep) of the episode on Jimmy.
losers tasters miss the next two, and we aren't shown what they tasted. ~~Make up something!!!
White radish tastes like parsnip to Andrew, and Jimmy gets it right, so the score is tied 1-1.
Headhunter Jessica and mother of 6 Elsie are up next. Both women guess "pork" for ox tongue. For scallops, Jessica thinks it's liver, and Elsie gets it right. For the Caesar Salad Dressing, Jessica guesses it's viniagrette, but Elsie knows what it is because she hates anchovies, an important ingredient in CSD. Hamburger tastes like filet mignon from beef wellington to Jessica, and Elsie gets it right, with a score of 4 Red, 1 Blue. Elsie was near perfect.
Michael and Ralph, the two professional chefs, face off for the final round. The first food is veal sweetbreads, take from Ramsey's pancreas, as indicated by his putting his hands on his side. If Michael gets this right, game over.
Ralph: Satan's pancreas? Umm, no. Beef with fat, Chef?
Michael: Awful, Andrew's brain or something like that. It has a strong "666" flavor to it.
Ralph can't afford to miss even one. The next food is a spinach leaf. Chef says this should be like water off a duck's back for Ralph, but no, Ralph thinks it's Rebecka Romaine. No, make that romaine lettuce.
Andrew is dissapointed that Ralph didn't get spinach in his teeth.
Wine Tasting and Whine Wasting 101
The Red Team wins time with Satan at some wine place, while the Blue Team gets to clean up the toxic landfill in the kitchen. Andrew complains they've had no time with Ramsey. Elsie and Jimmy relax on the patio away from the beotching and moaning in the kitchen.
Elsie: I guess I've got a good palate.
Jimmy: Yay, ya do. *scratches head* Whatz a palate?
The Reds win an exclusive wine tasting with Chef Ramsey. The Chef has his work cut out for him, as he tries to teach Jimmy how to sip wine, instead of gulping it down. Jimmy says he knows quite a bit about beer. Color us not surprised, Jimmy.
Elsie informs us there is nothing refined about Jimmy, punctuated by Jimmy's request for a doggy bag for the wine.
Jessica complains that the punishments at HK are getting worse, as she pulls off her hazmat gear.
The Chef himself calls up to the dorms to ask the crew to get dressed in full gear. Tomorrow night, announces the Chef, the menu is their's to choose. Each team will come up with 3 starters, 3 main courses, and 3 desserts. Customers will choose from 2 menus, either red or blue.
The teams go back to the dorms to brainstorm about their respective menus. Elsie suggests paella and scallops wrapped in bacon. Jimmy wants to make duck breast with pineapple sauce.
On the Blue Team, Jessica gets rebuffed by Ralph when she suggest chocolate cheesecake. He informs her he has a great recipe for flourless chocolate cake. Andrew wants to make braised Salmon, but is knocked down easily by Ralph's idea to make Halibut. Andrew complains in a confessional that it's supposed to be a group effort, but Ralph took over. Unfortunately Andrew left his backbone in his other pants.
Hell's Kitchen opens for the 6th time tonight. Teams get an early start on their food prep. Michael instructs Elsie, as Ralph teaches, or at least tries to, Andrew how to poach fish.
Kissing fish picture is for entertainment purposes only.
Chef Ramsey checks their choices, making comments and recommendations.
The winning team will be determined by how many items are ordered from each menu and the customer's reactions. The Chef reminds them even though they have chosen the menus, the food still has to live up to his standards and the reputation of his restaurant.
The Blue Team gets the second part of their punishment. Their storeroom will be locked for the rest of the evening. The combination is 666Satan, and the Chef only says this once, so they all scramble to remember it. Jessica and Ralph don't have a problem with this, as they only have to look at Andrew's forehead, but that doesn't stop Andrew from trying to use tape to disable the lock. This brings about a lot of yelling from Sous Chef Scot, including the classic, "I'm not stupid like you!" Yeah, he's a different kind of stupid, I guess.
7 PM Hell's Kitchen is once again open for business. JP explains the 2 sided menus to patrons. The starters, main courses, and desserts have to be from the same menu for each person.
The Red Menu includes Jimmy's roasted duck breast, Michael's filet mignon, and Elsie's paella.
The Blue Menu includes Ralph's mushroom agnolotti, Ralph's New York sirloin steak, Ralph's lemon grass poached halibut, and Ralph's flourless chocolate cake. Teamwork, schmeamwork. It's all about the Ralph.
Chef Ramsey is keeping score on some kind of board, not just on quantity, but on quality and speed.
Jimmy undercooks the first scallop. Andrew is in the storeroom when Chef asks for pear salad and bisque. While things backup in the Red Kitchen, appetizers are pouring out of the Blue Kitchen. Diners are having different experiences at the same table.
A customer returns the agnolotti because there is a hair in it. Jessica says it's not spikey, not blond, and not her hair. Chef Ramsey not too delicately explains to her the value of customer feedback.
The next scallop from Jimmy is overcooked, so Michael takes over scallops, making sure Chef Ramsey is pleased with the results.
The Blue Team is off to the best start ever, but Andrew broke one of Hell's Kitchen's rules. Hot food is to be served on hot plates only. Chef Ramsey is adamant about this, and gives Andrew a stern lecture about it.
The Blue Team has won with the numbers by 11, but quality and speed are more important to Chef Ramsey. Two diners complain about the overcooked halibut, with JP bringing them back to the kitchen, telling Andrew and Ralph what the problem is - tasteless and overcooked. Meanwhile, the Red Team's food is going over well with the customers. Elsie finally gets an order for her paella. The customer, when questioned, doesn't care much for the flavor of the paella, which is too bland for her liking. Andrew gets upset because he can't cook the halibut in the time alloted, causing him to utter the title line, "Science doesn't allow it."
Two attractive women wave to Ralph, who waves back. Ralph gets a few (bleep)s and a chastisement from Ramsey.
The Chef finally gets impatient and closes the kitchen down. Michael thinks it's a shame, because their kitchen only has 4 tickets to go. They could have completed it.
Michael takes it out on Jimmy by calling him fatty. I think that was tatty, um, I mean, tacky of Michael.
Ralph thinks it was the best food Team Ralph ever put out.
The Chef gives them the good news. They nearly completed the dinner service that night.
Chef to Michael: You've finally come out of Chris' shadow.
To Jimmy: You can't get out of those starting blocks, like a pig in (bleep).
To Jessica: Consistently average.
To Ralph: You're here to cook, not flirt.
The Red Team, 42 diners chose your menu. Not bad, but not good, either.
Blue Team, 53 diners chose your menu and said it was more appealing.
The losing team is the Blue Team because of the fish. Out of 19 people who ordered the halibut, 6 returned it to the kitchen. All 6 will not be back in your restaurant. Andrew brings up his desire to cook salmon, but Ralph insisted on halibut.
Chef Ramsey: Jessica, I didn't see you touch a main course all night.
Jessica opens her mouth as in the beginnings of a protest, but there is no need because Chef has chosen her to pick the nominee for elimination. The teams return to the dorms. Andrew continues to complain about the halibut and Ralph in general, while Ralph packs his clothes.
Michael daydreams that Jessica will chose Ralph, his biggest competitor, for elimination. Jessica tells Ralph she will not nominate him, even though he is her toughest competition. They hug on it.
Back in the kitchen, Jessica nominates Andrew because something is "slightly missing." Chef asks Andrew to step forward. He tells Jessica that the final decision is still his to make. He then asks Ralph to step forward.
Andrew's defense: I don't take responsibility for that dish. I don't want to walk out of here for the wrong reasons.
Ralph: The halibut required 3 ingredients to be spot on. I think he would have... yada, yada, yada.
Andrew: Right now, I'm on the barf team. That dish wasn't me. I'm not a hali butt.
Ralph: I made 23 of the entrees without crying about it. I'm stronger than Andrew.
Chef Ramsey: You're telling me Ralph manipulated your dish. Andrew, give me your jacket!
No words from Ramsey as Andrew hands over the jacket. Andrew touches Ralph on the way out. He has hugs and kisses for Jessica.
Andrew: I think I had more integrity. I stood up for myself.
Chef Ramsey: Be aware, Ralph. You're not untouchable.
Michael: Ralph is my biggest competition, but I can still kick his butt.
Down to the final five!
Next up - Vols, with Episode 7! I've got writer's cramp.
Sea ya next week for another exciting episode of...