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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
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"NBA playoff discussion/complaining thread"
Gothmog 2762 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest"
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05-17-11, 11:11 PM (EST)
 
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"NBA playoff discussion/complaining thread" |
Three rounds in, and there's no NBA playoff thread? Either there's a lot of apathy about the NBA, or... ok, I got nothing. There must be a lot of apathy about the NBA. Maybe you're all just NCAA fans. Which means you should be able to appreciate my dilemma.The nice thing about college sports is that players usually aren't around long enough to move from teams that you hate to teams that you like, (Justin Boren aside). Once a player becomes a target for your fanatic vitriol, they usually can stay a target for the remainder of their collegiate career, and you can boo them (or throw water bottles at their parents) to your heart's content. Now I don't want to go into a long story about where my favorite teams are and why; just suffice it to say that I've always grown up loving the Bulls. Even pre-Jordan. Even pre-Gilmore. (I know, "Who"?) Regarding college sports, I've also grown up loving the OSU Buckeyes and KY Wildcats. Which means that there are certain college teams (and by extension, players) I hate with the passion of 10,000 suns, including anyone who ever played for M*ch*g*n, Fl*r*da, (pardon my foul language) and DookSUUUUX! So this NBA season has been a conundrum of the highest proportions for me. Here I find my Bulls stacked with the following:
1) a one-and-done illiterate victim of the sanctimonious NCAA exploitation machine who is largely responsible for chasing a sleazeball coach into the waiting arms of my beloved KY Wildcats, where he's bound to kill the program with his slimy recruiting tactics
2) a one-and-done punk-assed beyotch from DookSUUUUUUUX,
3) another punk-assed beyotch from DookSUUUUX whose unfortunate alcoholic-like name still gives my Maryland friends PTSD eye-twitches to this day, 10 years after the "water bottle" game
4) a recently-drafted thug from the USC Condoms (another hated team),
5) a pasty-faced, gap-toothed, mealy-mouthed, Medusa-locked, fugly, sonuvaFroggin hack from that most vile of all vile SEC schools and who is one of the primary reasons why that most vile of all vile SEC schools needs to be buried neck-deep in a carefully-mixed concoction of its own vomit and excrement for the next 40 or so years (not that I'm bitter about 2007. Oh no)
and 6) Ashton Kutcher. And yes, the Bulls DO have a starting 2-guard from my beloved KY Wildcats, who probably lead the league this past season in LEAST number of minutes played of any starting 2-guard in the league. So tell me: how do I root for these guys? How do I keep my gut instinct in check and refrain from pelting them with water bottles? I mean, these are the BULLS, right? I should be happy. Any suggestions? 
It helps that they're currently playing the Miami Asshats, but still...
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Estee 46474 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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05-17-11, 11:29 PM (EST)
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1. "At least you're not a Cavs fan." |
LAST EDITED ON 05-18-11 AT 02:19 PM (EST)They just won the right to watch a talented prospect for three years before he walks out on them too. And just to add insult to injury, every last Cavalier lottery ball was marked Eventual Property Of Miami. It's easier for me. I don't have any real college interests beyond a morbid curiosity in seeing how badly the Patriot League gets its collective rear kicked every year, so all I ask for in my local NBA teams is competent ownership, coaches who have some idea what they're doing, and players you can connect with on some kind of faux personal level as they give you hopes of a competitive game. My local teams are the Knicks and Nets. So basically, I'm zero for eight. I have trouble watching professional basketball on most nights: the endless fouls and game slowdown take any potential fun out of it for me. Most of the NBA's top personalities seem designed not to root for. (You can blame the NCAA for some of this, but I say it starts around sixth grade with Sportscenter and shoe companies.) So I need an overwhelming level of skill to pique my interest at all, or at least an really good storyline. For the current Sort Of Final Four, the Thunder might be the most fun group -- but I had to watch Seattle go through the sports equivalent of a SVU case with none of the victims ever finding justice. The Mavericks... I'd love to see Cuban hoist the trophy just for the side spectacle of David Stern's head exploding, but I also know the referees will call fouls from six years ago to stop it. The Bulls can and do get along just fine without me. And the Heat... It would be nice if karma finally delivered the first of many kicks to come, wouldn't it? But in the NBA, Karma can't afford a ticket. I watch the All-Star weekend competitions. Not the game: just the skill challenges. That lets me see what's still fun about the sport. I just don't find any joy in the game. But to be fair, neither do half the players. ETA: It's been said that ultimately, we all root for laundry. If you can stand your fabrics... You refrain because based on prior evidence, at least one person on the court is concealing a gun.
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vince3 16959 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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05-20-11, 01:47 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Looks at NBA map" |
I'm sure you're right about that. I'm also sure that not too many of the Cleveland fans, if any, are rooting for Hines in the DWTS finale...
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Round Robin 1102 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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06-01-11, 04:22 AM (EST)
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11. "RE: NBA playoff discussion/complaining thread" |
Nobody with an ounce of sense even gives a sh#t about the NBA. It's the same old same old, play after play, game after game, day after day, year after year, both on the court and off. Best 2 things the NBA could do would be A) get rid of David Stern by any means necessary, and B) lengthen the d@mn shot clock to at least 30 seconds. Only then does the NBA stand any chance of ever amounting to jack sh#t.
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PepeLePew13 21673 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-11-11, 12:08 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: With Dallas up 3-2..." |
LAST EDITED ON 06-11-11 AT 12:10 PM (EST)Ummm... why are LeFade and Wade making fun of Dirk's illness and injuries before a critical Game 6 when their own team are behind in games? All this is gonna do is to fire up the Mavs to finish the job. LeBum and Wade mocking Dirk Dirk is still outperforming LeFade in the fourth quarters and didn't LeFade have his own injury that was completely overblown and overdiscussed last year (much of the talk came from LeOverrated himself)?
Edited to fix link.
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PepeLePew13 21673 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-12-11, 08:33 AM (EST)
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16. "Latest joke going around..." |
If you ask LeBum for change for a dollar, he'll only give you 75 cents in return. He won't give you the fourth quarter.
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Estee 46474 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-12-11, 08:52 AM (EST)
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17. "RE: Latest joke going around..." |
I called LeBron yesterday and his system instantly sent me to voice mail. It wouldn't give me seven rings, or three rings, or one ring...
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vince3 16959 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-12-11, 09:00 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Halfway through 2nd." |
LAST EDITED ON 06-12-11 AT 09:02 PM (EST)Apparently after a Heat 3 to take the lead and a time-out was called, there was a skirmish/fight/whatever that involved peeps coming on to the court after the time-out was called... Officials are reviewing the video to determine technicals/ejections/etc....
Looks like both sides got Techs hit on them...
ETA: Apparently Miami got one more, and the net result was one Technical shot for Dallas...
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Estee 46474 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-12-11, 09:10 PM (EST)
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22. "Dirk currently 1-for-9." |
If not for the shooting from their fearless bench, the Mavericks would be lost. As-is, they're still in this -- but barely. And they now have to get this wrapped up tonight: not just to avoid a Game #7, but because any suspensions will do more damage to them than Miami.
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Estee 46474 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-12-11, 09:18 PM (EST)
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23. "End of the half: Mavs lead by two." |
Dirk, there's a Mr. Starks on the phone. He'd like to have a word.
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AyaK 8466 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-13-11, 00:11 AM (EST)
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27. "RE: Class." |
I'll give Cuban credit for that gesture. He could have made it all about himself, but he didn't.
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AyaK 8466 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-13-11, 05:58 PM (EST)
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35. "RE: No Class:Cavs owner Dan Gilbert takes jab at LeBron James" |
If Dan Gilbert fell in the woods but nobody heard him, would he make a sound?
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Estee 46474 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-13-11, 05:28 PM (EST)
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34. "No 'there' there." |
The latest mass media theory on LeBron: he doesn't exist as a personality. Everything we thought we've seen about him in the positive sense is the projection of various articles, TV coverage, the devout wishes of fans, and some expert commercial scripting by every product he's endorsed. Take it all away and you get -- nothing. Nothing anyone would want to emulate. His postgame attacks on everyone but himself might have finally shown the core: a rampant ID who can't deal with any form of 'No.'That's one camp. Another says he's terrified. Of failure. Of success. Of his own potential. And that's what led to the pass-a-thon late in the game, when the Heat kept kicking the ball in to him at great shooting positions and he kept kicking it back out. If you don't take the responsibility, how can you take the blame? Division Three says the above was an attack -- on Wade, for having chewed him out a few days ago. Is this your team? Are you the alpha dog? Fine: when we hit crunch time, I'm tossing everything back to you. Every shot is yours. I'm just a body on the court: see nothing, do nothing, score nothing. Do it without me and I don't care if that means we lose the series. I don't care about anything but making my point. And then there's his defenders. I'd tell you what they're saying, but I haven't heard one yet.
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PepeLePew13 21673 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-13-11, 08:44 PM (EST)
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37. "RE: A New Trend?" |
It's been a trend since 2001 in baseball, really... The Diamondbacks won their first Series that year (they're a new team, though), then the Angels won their first ever the next year. Two years later, the Red Sux broke a since-1918 curse and the following year, the White Sox won for the first time since 1917.
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vince3 16959 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-14-11, 12:39 PM (EST)
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39. "RE: A New Trend?" |
or the Pirates, or the Royals, or the Cavaliers...
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