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"NBA playoff discussion/complaining thread"
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Gothmog 2885 desperate attention whore postings
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05-17-11, 11:11 PM (EST)
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"NBA playoff discussion/complaining thread"
Three rounds in, and there's no NBA playoff thread? Either there's a lot of apathy about the NBA, or... ok, I got nothing. There must be a lot of apathy about the NBA. Maybe you're all just NCAA fans. Which means you should be able to appreciate my dilemma.

The nice thing about college sports is that players usually aren't around long enough to move from teams that you hate to teams that you like, (Justin Boren aside). Once a player becomes a target for your fanatic vitriol, they usually can stay a target for the remainder of their collegiate career, and you can boo them (or throw water bottles at their parents) to your heart's content.

Now I don't want to go into a long story about where my favorite teams are and why; just suffice it to say that I've always grown up loving the Bulls. Even pre-Jordan. Even pre-Gilmore. (I know, "Who"?) Regarding college sports, I've also grown up loving the OSU Buckeyes and KY Wildcats. Which means that there are certain college teams (and by extension, players) I hate with the passion of 10,000 suns, including anyone who ever played for M*ch*g*n, Fl*r*da, (pardon my foul language) and DookSUUUUX!

So this NBA season has been a conundrum of the highest proportions for me. Here I find my Bulls stacked with the following:
1) a one-and-done illiterate victim of the sanctimonious NCAA exploitation machine who is largely responsible for chasing a sleazeball coach into the waiting arms of my beloved KY Wildcats, where he's bound to kill the program with his slimy recruiting tactics
2) a one-and-done punk-assed beyotch from DookSUUUUUUUX,
3) another punk-assed beyotch from DookSUUUUX whose unfortunate alcoholic-like name still gives my Maryland friends PTSD eye-twitches to this day, 10 years after the "water bottle" game
4) a recently-drafted thug from the USC Condoms (another hated team),
5) a pasty-faced, gap-toothed, mealy-mouthed, Medusa-locked, fugly, sonuvaFroggin hack from that most vile of all vile SEC schools and who is one of the primary reasons why that most vile of all vile SEC schools needs to be buried neck-deep in a carefully-mixed concoction of its own vomit and excrement for the next 40 or so years (not that I'm bitter about 2007. Oh no)
and 6) Ashton Kutcher.

And yes, the Bulls DO have a starting 2-guard from my beloved KY Wildcats, who probably lead the league this past season in LEAST number of minutes played of any starting 2-guard in the league.

So tell me: how do I root for these guys? How do I keep my gut instinct in check and refrain from pelting them with water bottles? I mean, these are the BULLS, right? I should be happy. Any suggestions?


It helps that they're currently playing the Miami Asshats, but still...

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 At least you're not a Cavs fan. Estee 05-17-11 1
   Looks at NBA map vince3 05-18-11 3
       RE: Looks at NBA map AyaK 05-20-11 7
           RE: Looks at NBA map vince3 05-20-11 8
 RE: NBA playoff discussion/complain... PepeLePew13 05-18-11 2
 Rigged? HobbsofMI 05-18-11 4
   RE: Rigged? Estee 05-18-11 5
       RE: Rigged? HobbsofMI 05-19-11 6
 RE: NBA playoff discussion/complain... samboohoo 05-26-11 9
 Maybe they flipped a coin. Estee 05-27-11 10
 RE: NBA playoff discussion/complain... Round Robin 06-01-11 11
 With Dallas up 3-2... Estee 06-10-11 12
   RE: With Dallas up 3-2... PepeLePew13 06-11-11 13
       RE: With Dallas up 3-2... AyaK 06-11-11 14
           RE: With Dallas up 3-2... Estee 06-11-11 15
 Latest joke going around... PepeLePew13 06-12-11 16
   RE: Latest joke going around... Estee 06-12-11 17
 Game #6: end of 1st. Estee 06-12-11 18
   Halfway through 2nd. Estee 06-12-11 19
       RE: Halfway through 2nd. vince3 06-12-11 20
 Now serving up technicals. Estee 06-12-11 21
 Dirk currently 1-for-9. Estee 06-12-11 22
 End of the half: Mavs lead by two. Estee 06-12-11 23
 We are all witnesses Estee 06-12-11 24
 Dallas wins vince3 06-12-11 25
 Class. Estee 06-12-11 26
   RE: Class. AyaK 06-13-11 27
       RE: Class. PepeLePew13 06-13-11 28
           No Class:Cavs owner Dan Gilbert tak... HobbsofMI 06-13-11 29
               RE: No Class:Cavs owner Dan Gilbert... PepeLePew13 06-13-11 30
                   RE: No Class:Cavs owner Dan Gilbert... HobbsofMI 06-13-11 31
                       RE: No Class:Cavs owner Dan Gilbert... AyaK 06-13-11 35
 LeBron's postgame speech. Estee 06-13-11 32
 The parade's on him. Estee 06-13-11 33
 No 'there' there. Estee 06-13-11 34
 A New Trend? michel 06-13-11 36
   RE: A New Trend? PepeLePew13 06-13-11 37
       RE: A New Trend? AyaK 06-14-11 38
           RE: A New Trend? vince3 06-14-11 39

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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05-17-11, 11:29 PM (EST)
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1. "At least you're not a Cavs fan."
LAST EDITED ON 05-18-11 AT 02:19 PM (EST)

They just won the right to watch a talented prospect for three years before he walks out on them too. And just to add insult to injury, every last Cavalier lottery ball was marked Eventual Property Of Miami.

It's easier for me. I don't have any real college interests beyond a morbid curiosity in seeing how badly the Patriot League gets its collective rear kicked every year, so all I ask for in my local NBA teams is competent ownership, coaches who have some idea what they're doing, and players you can connect with on some kind of faux personal level as they give you hopes of a competitive game.

My local teams are the Knicks and Nets.

So basically, I'm zero for eight.

I have trouble watching professional basketball on most nights: the endless fouls and game slowdown take any potential fun out of it for me. Most of the NBA's top personalities seem designed not to root for. (You can blame the NCAA for some of this, but I say it starts around sixth grade with Sportscenter and shoe companies.) So I need an overwhelming level of skill to pique my interest at all, or at least an really good storyline.

For the current Sort Of Final Four, the Thunder might be the most fun group -- but I had to watch Seattle go through the sports equivalent of a SVU case with none of the victims ever finding justice. The Mavericks... I'd love to see Cuban hoist the trophy just for the side spectacle of David Stern's head exploding, but I also know the referees will call fouls from six years ago to stop it. The Bulls can and do get along just fine without me. And the Heat... It would be nice if karma finally delivered the first of many kicks to come, wouldn't it? But in the NBA, Karma can't afford a ticket.

I watch the All-Star weekend competitions. Not the game: just the skill challenges. That lets me see what's still fun about the sport. I just don't find any joy in the game.

But to be fair, neither do half the players.

ETA: It's been said that ultimately, we all root for laundry. If you can stand your fabrics...

You refrain because based on prior evidence, at least one person on the court is concealing a gun.

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vince3 17341 desperate attention whore postings
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05-18-11, 03:00 PM (EST)
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3. "Looks at NBA map"
Pittsburgh: No franchise...

Nearest ones: Cleveland, Philly, maybe Memphis too... Um... Memphis went the furthest, and none of them are playing in this round... so... *shrug*

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AyaK 10083 desperate attention whore postings
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05-20-11, 12:16 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Looks at NBA map"
I bet you'll find as many Pittsburgh residents rooting for the Cavs as you find Cleveland residents rooting for the Penguins.

Approximately zero.

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vince3 17341 desperate attention whore postings
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05-20-11, 01:47 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Looks at NBA map"
I'm sure you're right about that. I'm also sure that not too many of the Cleveland fans, if any, are rooting for Hines in the DWTS finale...
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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
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05-18-11, 02:12 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: NBA playoff discussion/complaining thread"
My local team is the Toronto Raptors.

Enuff said.

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HobbsofMI 15959 desperate attention whore postings
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05-18-11, 05:41 PM (EST)
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4. "Rigged?"
Who thinks the draft lottery is rigged? ME!


GO WINGS! 2008 Stanley Cup Champs!
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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05-18-11, 06:47 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Rigged?"
To call the lottery rigged is to be unfair to the rigging of the entire league.

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HobbsofMI 15959 desperate attention whore postings
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05-19-11, 07:35 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Rigged?"
You got me there.


GO WINGS! 2008 Stanley Cup Champs!
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samboohoo 17076 desperate attention whore postings
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05-26-11, 09:28 AM (EST)
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9. "RE: NBA playoff discussion/complaining thread"
No Lakers in the Finals. You have my attention now.

Go Mavs!


Is it wrong that I had no idea who the Oklahoma City Thunder was unti I just read the headline and googled them?

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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05-27-11, 12:43 PM (EST)
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10. "Maybe they flipped a coin."
On one side, The Triumvirate Of Ego.

On the other, Mark Cuban And His Amazing Fines.

Really makes you wonder who the refs were told to rig for, doesn't it?

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Round Robin 2243 desperate attention whore postings
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06-01-11, 04:22 AM (EST)
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11. "RE: NBA playoff discussion/complaining thread"
Nobody with an ounce of sense even gives a sh#t about the NBA. It's the same old same old, play after play, game after game, day after day, year after year, both on the court and off. Best 2 things the NBA could do would be A) get rid of David Stern by any means necessary, and B) lengthen the d@mn shot clock to at least 30 seconds. Only then does the NBA stand any chance of ever amounting to jack sh#t.
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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06-10-11, 09:38 AM (EST)
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12. "With Dallas up 3-2..."
...LeBron is starting to remind me of an overhyped heel wrestler who started to believe in his own storyline while the scriptwriters were redoing the last pages behind his back. If Dallas wins the next game, how easy is it to picture him rushing the podium and taking out the commissioner with a steel chair before stealing the trophy?

Of course Miami can still win this series. Most of the games have been butterfly-wing close, and I'm still not sure who the refs will ultimately be told to back. And Stern really doesn't want to hand Mark Cuban that trophy. But...

'I'm taking my talents to South Beach.' That's right, LeBron. Excuse-making is a talent. Better get it warmed up.

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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
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06-11-11, 12:08 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: With Dallas up 3-2..."
LAST EDITED ON 06-11-11 AT 12:10 PM (EST)

Ummm... why are LeFade and Wade making fun of Dirk's illness and injuries before a critical Game 6 when their own team are behind in games? All this is gonna do is to fire up the Mavs to finish the job.

LeBum and Wade mocking Dirk

Dirk is still outperforming LeFade in the fourth quarters and didn't LeFade have his own injury that was completely overblown and overdiscussed last year (much of the talk came from LeOverrated himself)?


Edited to fix link.

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AyaK 10083 desperate attention whore postings
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06-11-11, 12:36 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: With Dallas up 3-2..."
You don't understand LeBron. See, any story written about someone other than himself or his friends is an obvious blunder deserving of mockery. That's why he and Wade were mocking the Dirk stories: because they had to be mistakes. If LeBron is playing, there's only one story.

I think he learned that from ESPN.

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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06-11-11, 01:35 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: With Dallas up 3-2..."
If the Mavericks win, I do wonder how much of the media is going to drop into Tiger Woods C.2004 mode: 'No one else ever wins anything: LeBron just loses it.'

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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
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06-12-11, 08:33 AM (EST)
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16. "Latest joke going around..."
If you ask LeBum for change for a dollar, he'll only give you 75 cents in return. He won't give you the fourth quarter.
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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06-12-11, 08:52 AM (EST)
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17. "RE: Latest joke going around..."
I called LeBron yesterday and his system instantly sent me to voice mail. It wouldn't give me seven rings, or three rings, or one ring...
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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06-12-11, 08:47 PM (EST)
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18. "Game #6: end of 1st."
Mavericks up by 12. This being basketball, a dozen-point lead means absolutely nothing.

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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06-12-11, 08:54 PM (EST)
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19. "Halfway through 2nd."
*looks at score*

*curtseys*

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vince3 17341 desperate attention whore postings
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06-12-11, 09:00 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Halfway through 2nd."
LAST EDITED ON 06-12-11 AT 09:02 PM (EST)

Apparently after a Heat 3 to take the lead and a time-out was called, there was a skirmish/fight/whatever that involved peeps coming on to the court after the time-out was called...

Officials are reviewing the video to determine technicals/ejections/etc....


Looks like both sides got Techs hit on them...

ETA: Apparently Miami got one more, and the net result was one Technical shot for Dallas...

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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06-12-11, 09:02 PM (EST)
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21. "Now serving up technicals."
Idiot shoving match on the court during a timeout. Many players involved. Lots of potential for suspensions and no benches in any prospective Game #7. Van Gundy presumably having flashbacks.

And the NBA wonders why its reputation svcks.

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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06-12-11, 09:10 PM (EST)
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22. "Dirk currently 1-for-9."
If not for the shooting from their fearless bench, the Mavericks would be lost. As-is, they're still in this -- but barely. And they now have to get this wrapped up tonight: not just to avoid a Game #7, but because any suspensions will do more damage to them than Miami.
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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06-12-11, 09:18 PM (EST)
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23. "End of the half: Mavs lead by two."
Dirk, there's a Mr. Starks on the phone. He'd like to have a word.
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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06-12-11, 10:41 PM (EST)
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24. "We are all witnesses"
to a Dallas championship.

Gosh, maybe teams really do need twelve players, huh?

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vince3 17341 desperate attention whore postings
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06-12-11, 10:44 PM (EST)
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25. "Dallas wins"
Final score: 105-95

Stern will have to hand that trophy over to Cuban... and then the clock starts ticking on their Lockout Armageddon...

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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06-12-11, 10:55 PM (EST)
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26. "Class."
Mark brings out the original owners of the Mavericks and has the commissioner present them with the trophy first.

That's our DAW!

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AyaK 10083 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-11, 00:11 AM (EST)
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27. "RE: Class."
I'll give Cuban credit for that gesture. He could have made it all about himself, but he didn't.
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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-11, 03:34 AM (EST)
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28. "RE: Class."
Yes, a classy move. Congrats to the Mavs.

Wonder who was the happier owner last night - Mark Cuban or Dan Gilbert?

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HobbsofMI 15959 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-11, 06:38 AM (EST)
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29. "No Class:Cavs owner Dan Gilbert takes jab at LeBron James"
LAST EDITED ON 06-13-11 AT 06:39 AM (EST)

Cavs owner Dan Gilbert takes jab at LeBron James


GO WINGS! 2008 Stanley Cup Champs!
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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-11, 08:38 AM (EST)
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30. "RE: No Class:Cavs owner Dan Gilbert takes jab at LeBron James"
...but if the Heat had won, what would have Dan Gilbert said?

He's just trying to look like a hero to Clevelanders.

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HobbsofMI 15959 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-11, 09:23 AM (EST)
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31. "RE: No Class:Cavs owner Dan Gilbert takes jab at LeBron James"
If Miami won you wouldn't have heard a peep out of Gilbert.


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AyaK 10083 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-11, 05:58 PM (EST)
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35. "RE: No Class:Cavs owner Dan Gilbert takes jab at LeBron James"
If Dan Gilbert fell in the woods but nobody heard him, would he make a sound?
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-11, 10:18 AM (EST)
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32. "LeBron's postgame speech."
Someone else can have the dubious honor of reproducing his defense mechanism arrogance word for word. All I'll do is make this comment: as much as he tried to trash everyone who rooted against him, his words also completely dismissed those who root for him. Because at the end of the day if he'd won, he would have gone home and lived his life exactly the way he wanted to, and all his fans would have still had their personal problems -- and he wouldn't care about any of them. He wouldn't be happy for the followers of the Heat if the team had won the championship. He would be happy for himself. Passing any of that joy along to others might never occur to him.

He doesn't understand that other people get opinions. I'm not sure he's figured out the concept of 'other people'.

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-11, 01:14 PM (EST)
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33. "The parade's on him."
Mark feels Dallas shouldn't have to spring for the celebration (and since this isn't football, there's a good chance the city isn't aware there should be one), so he'll pick up the check on this one. Kudos.

He also says rings are old-fashioned and his players might get something different. Not so kudos.

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-11, 05:28 PM (EST)
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34. "No 'there' there."
The latest mass media theory on LeBron: he doesn't exist as a personality. Everything we thought we've seen about him in the positive sense is the projection of various articles, TV coverage, the devout wishes of fans, and some expert commercial scripting by every product he's endorsed. Take it all away and you get -- nothing. Nothing anyone would want to emulate. His postgame attacks on everyone but himself might have finally shown the core: a rampant ID who can't deal with any form of 'No.'

That's one camp. Another says he's terrified. Of failure. Of success. Of his own potential. And that's what led to the pass-a-thon late in the game, when the Heat kept kicking the ball in to him at great shooting positions and he kept kicking it back out. If you don't take the responsibility, how can you take the blame?

Division Three says the above was an attack -- on Wade, for having chewed him out a few days ago. Is this your team? Are you the alpha dog? Fine: when we hit crunch time, I'm tossing everything back to you. Every shot is yours. I'm just a body on the court: see nothing, do nothing, score nothing. Do it without me and I don't care if that means we lose the series. I don't care about anything but making my point.

And then there's his defenders.

I'd tell you what they're saying, but I haven't heard one yet.

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-11, 06:55 PM (EST)
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36. "A New Trend?"
The Mavericks won their first title ever (I really liked passing the trophy to their first owner. Classy move) The Canucks could win their first cuo but, if not, the Bruins will win their first since 1972. Last year, the Giants won the WS for the first time since they moved to San Francisco, the Black Hawks won their first cup since 1961. Is this the decade to end all the long term droughts? (Besides the Leafs I mean!)

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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-11, 08:44 PM (EST)
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37. "RE: A New Trend?"
It's been a trend since 2001 in baseball, really... The Diamondbacks won their first Series that year (they're a new team, though), then the Angels won their first ever the next year. Two years later, the Red Sux broke a since-1918 curse and the following year, the White Sox won for the first time since 1917.
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AyaK 10083 desperate attention whore postings
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06-14-11, 10:41 AM (EST)
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38. "RE: A New Trend?"
The Cubs aren't about to win one anytime soon.

Nor are the Indians. Or the Browns.

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vince3 17341 desperate attention whore postings
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06-14-11, 12:39 PM (EST)
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39. "RE: A New Trend?"
or the Pirates, or the Royals, or the Cavaliers...
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