there's nothing on my desk I want to do this morning, so I figured we might as welstart one of these.
Go ahead and rank the contestants based on your first impressions of them.
1. LInda - well, she's playing so her mom can get a couple of 100K prosthetic legs. That alone is classic! Plus, she could probably kick my ass, so I'll just go on record as liking Linda and that horrid accent of hers right from the get go.
2. Kevin - he asks himself "what would Oprah do" when faced with a crisis. I guess it's good to model yourself after a self-made gazillionaire Kevin, but who's show are you on right now? Oprah might give you a car just for showing up, but Cuban is gonna give you a million if you can win Should you ask yourself WWOD? No, ask yourself WWCD? duh. But he's a local and a nanny so I'll give him a boost this week for that.
3. Mario - seems like a nice, normal guy - and therefore woefully out of place on this program
4. Chris - no airtime with which to offend me.
5. Christine - even less airtime so she probably wins.
6. Katherine - little airtime, sorta snotty and superior.
7. Femia - she's a disease intervention specialist and her name sounds vauely like a skin rash - that's cool. I kinda like her.
8. Latane - poor, pretty Latane. His name sounds like a new wave band from the 80s. He should be on tour with Kajagoogoo and Haircut 100 and no where near this game.
9 Dominic - ugh - if you are going to go on and on about how you are a gorgeous rock star, shouldn't you be remotely attractive?
10. Tiffaney - let me get this straight: Tiffaney is an unemployed, virginal watermelon queen who writes nightly in a journal to her as-yet-unknown husband. I bet War and Peace would be easier to read than this journal of hers. And don't you know she dots all her "i"s with hearts? And trophy wives have to put out before they get the ring - trust me on this.
11 Spencer - he looks like a geekier Ray Romano - who even knew that was possible? He irritates the snot out of me and I don't know why. Oh, yeah I do - anyone who proclaims themselves to be one of the smartest players in the game inevitably proves to be an idiot.
12. Shawn - bug-eyed shrews do not have a good history in reality shows Shawn. Perhaps you aren't familiar with Toni from Love Cruise and Paradise Hotel. The eye bulge is not gonna end well for you. And you aren't cute or adorable and somehow your mission to buy inner city kids kites just doesn't ring true to me. I see a meltdown in your near future - and I'm looking forward to it cause it promises to be pretty entertaining.
13. William - the millionaire histologist. Whatever dude. He is completely annoying. William I know you want to be the fat funny guy, but right now you're just the fat guy. And no more dancing. You look like you are churning butter.
buhbye to our booties:
Richard - a florist named Dick would have been nice for summary purposes but oh well
Lauren - Cuban was right - that's pathetic to be naked on your audition tape and be too skittish to sing AC/DC in person. Maybe she' stoo punk rock for this show - she should talk to Frankie about it.
Grayson - she seemed like a smart, lovely, interesting person so of couse she's out of place on this show.