The Casino - Episode 4 Summary: No Mickey Mouse, We Got Beat by the House
A quick refresher of those who are returning from previous shows:
Tim & Tom (T&T) – The owners of the Golden Nugget (GN) casino. Both are young, possibly bi-sexual and definitely dull.
Mark Burnett (MB) – The super duper executive producer who has become so arrogant that he thought that he could make even these clowns entertaining.
Matt Dusk – The cool jazz singer that doesn’t want his lounge show turned into a karaokee bar but is willing to stay at the GN despite his show becoming a mockery. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the national television exposure he is getting.
Tommy – The young blackjack dealer who wants to become a VIP host (cause you get to go party with rich people!) who had a meeting with Tim but Tim no-showed on him.
Monique – The GN floor supervisor who doesn’t care too much for young Tommy and isn’t afraid to make that clear to everyone.
We start off with T&T meeting for breakfast.
T: Uh, the camera crew is here – perhaps we should do something interesting.
Other T: Let’s race our cars to work! There is nothing that the average television viewer wants to see more than two rich middle-aged white guys race their Ferraris against each other to the casino that they own.
T: Great idea! And to make things better, let’s bet on it. How about $5,000 – after all we both just made that while we had this conversation!
So T&T run off to the parking garage to race each other to work. Amongst the mad rush of activity, they did have time to get driver side cameras installed in each vehicle, a cameraman in each vehicle and a helicopter overhead to track the race through the streets of Vegas. That MB sure is resourceful to have all that in place for an unscripted car race.
Speaking of unscripted, as T&T walk into the casino the first person they run into is Tommy - and there was a camera crew there to capture it all. What are the chances? Tim apologizes for missing the meeting with Tommy and reschedules it for later that day.
We next meet Eulisha, an aspiring singer, and her friend (whose name isn’t important because she does nothing but scowl) who is driving into Vegas in her new red Porsche with the intention of winning enough to pay it off. This is a woman who is receiving solid financial planning advice.
Next we meet Brian and his family who are checking into the GN.
Clerk: Since we are on camera we are going to upgrade you to a better suite then you had booked.
Brian: Well that is lucky. I hope that luck continues. Despite the fact that I promised my too young sons that we are going to Disneyland, we came here where I am going to gamble all our money and try and win enough to pay for a vacation to Disneyland.
Clerk: You are the worst parent I have ever met.
Tommy is off to his talk with Tim and Monique spots him on the way up. When questioned, Tommy tells her that he is in a hurry and that he will tell her later what is going on. Tim and Tommy have their meeting and Tim agrees to let Tommy work as an unpaid volunteer intern to the VIP hosts and to go report to his daddy. Tommy convinces himself that he got the position based on his own merits and not because of his daddy. I wonder if Tommy’s middle initial is W?
Tommy comes back down to earth when he shows up eight minutes late for work and then tells Monique that he is interning as a VIP host. She wasn’t too impressed with this turn of events. Tommy, dreaming about the beginning of his new life as a VIP host, then deals in a player who wasn’t actually in the game. Nothing makes you look like an up-and-comer more then that! So in a few short minutes he blew off his boss, showed up late for work, and made a careless blunder on a deal. That’s not exactly the trilogy of smart career moves.
Back to Eulisha and friend who are going to the spa to work out on the treadmill. In a row of fifteen treadmills there is one woman on one treadmill and these two just happen to take the ones to the left and right of her. Come on MB! At least make it look like you are trying! This new woman just happens to be a psychic, which she so discreetly reveals by having “psychicgirl” written on the back of her shirt. Eulisha and friend then convince her to give them a reading in which Justine the Psychic tells Eulisha that the numbers 4 and 7 are good for her and that her singing career is going to start taking off. However, paying off the Porsche does not appear to be in the immediate future. At this point, nobody has stopped to wonder why a psychic would be giving readings in a casino spa as opposed to sitting at the high-limit blackjack table winning millions every hour.
Up to the luxury suite of Brian who teaches his family how to play roulette with a home version. How stupid are you that you have to learn how to play roulette? I’m sure these kids who finish Playstation games five hours after they get them will have a really hard time figuring out the nuances of roulette. Brian and wife continue their good parenting skills by leaving the kids in the suite while they go gamble. Good thing there is a cameraman there to baby-sit – I’m sure he is wishing he was back filming naked Richard Hatch about now.
Brian and wife go play roulette and he begins losing. Eulisha and friend show up at the same table (what are the odds?!?) and Eulisha wins on 7 and 4. I’m sure she also lost 50 other spins but they don’t show those at that would deviate from the script – er, I mean the unscripted drama. Predictably, Eulisha tells Brian about the psychic, the psychic just happens to come to the same roulette wheel, and Brian sets up a time to get his own lucky numbers.
Back in the hotel suite, Brian’s kids order all the desserts they can from room service and vow to not let their parents find out. I am betting they don’t get away with it, after all a shrewd money manager like Brian would never let a hotel charge like that slip by on the hotel bill.
Back to Tommy who gets turned over by his daddy to another VIP host nicknamed Gray Dog. The two of them baby-sit a big, rich, and drunk cowboy who is losing lots of money at the blackjack table. Why anyone thinks this is entertaining TV is beyond me.
Justine the Psychic comes up and sees Brian and family and tells them that his lucky number is 7 (again?) and that Disneyland is not in their immediate future. I’ve got news for you Justine, you don’t have to be psychic to have that figured out.
We finally get to see Matt Dusk for his cameo in the show. Eulisha is in the audience and being a singer says hello to Matt as he walks towards the camera at their table. Matt invites her up to do a duet and they sing Amazing Grace (I’m sure God loves hearing a hymn in the lounge of a Vegas casino). Matt’s agent then asks Eulisha for a business card and tells her that she wants to be her agent. Eulisha and friend then drive off into the sunset in the same Porsche with the same monster loan payments.
Back to the roulette table where we find Brian losing the rest of the family holiday fund. To make up for this he takes the kids to the Stratosphere (I guess Circus Circus wouldn’t pay MB enough to get their name in this show). They all stand at the top and mom convinces the eldest son to go on the roller coaster that rolls over the side of the tower. A few seconds of screaming and hollering (by me for having to watch this and write about it) and the ride is over and its the end of the holiday for Brian’s family. Look at the bright side family – at least you got onto a bad TV show and it wasn’t COPS or Jerry Springer!
Back to our buddy Tommy who is at the blackjack table when his friend Alexis sits down to play at his table. Tommy doesn’t consider her his girlfriend as he has just “tagged her” a few times. I bet her parents are beaming with pride right now. GN rules dictate that dealers can’t have friends and family at their table (for obvious reasons) and Monique is all over this one like me on a free Vegas cocktail. She calls her boss who tells Tommy to go see “D” on his break. It is never a good idea to have a private meeting in Vegas with a guy whose name is an initial.
Up in the owners' suite, the guys are chatting over lunch.
T: MB tells me that there is a psychic in the hotel, and she is pretty good looking too.
Other T: Well, if we want to be in this episode again we should have her give us a reading.
T: Good idea. Lackey! Go get the psychic.
The psychic then wastes their time and ours with vague visions of Tim’s future. Shockingly, she does not see Tim changing his 100 mph lifestyle in the immediate future.
Now it is time for D to chew out Tommy. You broke the rules, I should fire you, but I respect your dad, yada yada yada. Tommy then confesses that he can’t believe that after being on the verge of getting his dream job he almost got fired. Yeah, it was a real shocker. I’m surprised this wasn’t advertised as the “big twist” that all these shows have now.
We conclude with T&T agreeing to go double or nothing on the $5,000 in a game of gin. Spoilers, please get out there and find out who won this game of gin. I just can’t wait a whole week to find out who won!
"How 'bout a birdy? I got a little birdy right here."