I wanted a Mark Burnett series. I admit that freely and of my own will. The problem is that I wanted one with – well – votes. Eliminations. Alliances. People making endless confessional-tell complaints about each other. Competitions rigged in ways other than the standard odds which the games throw to the house. And what did I get? The Casino. No eliminations. No votes. No drama other than what the scriptwriters fail to create. And lots and lots of DAWs to deal with, virtually all of whom are there for only one reason: to be DAWs.

Fine. No problem. When you have no torches, no prize money waiting at the end, no final chance to laugh at the dearly departed on a morning show, there’s only one thing left to do, and I’m going to do it now.

Sweet delusion.

…previously on Desert Survivor: due to suspected family connections with organized crime, the Casino Control Commission only awarded Tim and Tom a conditional temporary tribal charter because in order to get a permanent one, you have to prove family connections with organized crime. Our Internet millionaires, who got into this game by having an idea and letting other people give them money for it, discovered that they’d have to invest time, effort, blood, sweat, toil, tears, and a very large amount of puckers applied to the nether anatomy of high rollers in order to make their new tribe work – all while watching for that one mistake that could cost them their charter. Forever. And we do mean forever, which in Las Vegas is a period of time even longer than the one it’ll take before Mike Tyson is allowed to box in Nevada again. An entertainer was brought to the tribe’s very sandy beach, we learned that singing ability is not a prerequisite for being the lieutenant governor of the Silver State (somewhere in America, a man named Simon thanks his Queen and Country that he doesn’t get to vote here), discovered that the ability to count cards does not bring with it an automatic tally of chromosomes, and watched a college student completely fail to lose his virginity. Frankly, we could have found all this out in just about any bar in the country. Regardless, roll opening credits.

We start with a quick zoom shot across the desert that pauses on the Mandalay Bay Casino (hereafter known as Drake) for no apparent reason before shooting across town to find the Golden Nugget (henceforth Morgan). And why are we going to see Morgan on this fine morning? Because the co-leaders of the tribe are about to hand down another momentous decision to the rest of their team. After all, surviving in the desert takes constant vigilance. And leadership. And careful use of the coveted Immunity Bribes.

Valued tribe member Maurice, who’s in charge of the desert resources, tells T&T that the Drakes are vulnerable to having one of their chief rewards stolen. Geoff Mills, a 28 year-old real-estate developer, millionaire, and honorary Drake will soon be in town. (Thanks to his pre-show perusal of MB’s Guide To Dangerous Desert Animals, Tim recognizes the name. For the first time in the history of reality television, someone opened the briefing book.) Geoff has a credit line of about half a million with the Drakes because he’s proven that he’ll often place fifteen thousand dollars on a single bet and that he’ll airdrop his losses in to the tribe which displays the best ‘Help us: we are novice casino owners and need people delusional enough to think they’re better than the games’ rescue signal. Maurice feels that with a little persuasion, Geoff could be induced to abandon Drake and bring his substantial Reward over to the Morgans.

Tim makes the call to Geoff (because the numbers of all big-time high rollers are in the briefing book) and starts chatting about the wonderful attractions to be found with the Morgans: the improved 6-8-10 odds at the dice pit (as opposed to the 3-4-5 which the Drakes have been offering), the high quality of their shelter, the Hawaiian sling which they plan on bringing over any day now. After a few exchanges during which Tim assures Geoff that they’ve almost got that flooding problem solved, the room is booked, and Geoff agrees to bring his money, posse, and future losses to the Morgan tribe. It’s starting to look like a good episode for the Morgans. And since when did the Morgans ever have a good episode?

Tim, alert and intelligent in a way that vaguely reminds me of someone named Andrew, notes in confessional-tell that this potential Reward transfer could be trouble for the casino. The improved odds and high bet limits are the only way to lure the big spenders down to the Morgans – but they also mean that one lucky streak could cost the tribe hundreds of thousands of dollars, or worse. This Reward could wind up Rewarding itself very quickly, and if it takes enough resources from the tribe, everyone’s torches are going to be at risk

The cameras meet Geoff at the airport after the control tower picks up his streaked blond highlights on radar. His girlfriend Kristin and two male posse-mates question his decision to make an alliance with the Morgans, noting that the tribe usually allies itself with old people. In fact, it’s the home of the ‘dentures of the month club’. (Apparently someone has ignored the lessons of Thailand. This may be understandable.) But Geoff is determined to turn the Reward against the Morgans, and is thus perfectly willing to go along for the ride until he can trigger the financial backstab.

Fellow Drake Bryan Mills notes that they’re in the only limo heading to the Morgans, which proves that the Drakes must be having more fun at their camp. (The camera roams over some less than savory native wildlife for no apparent reason.) But Geoff is still intrigued by the offer of free shelter, and insists that they continue with their current plan. Bryan then accuses Geoff of wanting to be a big fish in a small pond, to which Geoff replies ‘This isn’t even a pond. It’s like a water hole.’ Just in case you were still wondering exactly where the Morgans stood in the Desert Survivor universe.

Geoff recommits to the plan, insisting that it’ll make sense if they consume massive amounts of alcohol during the evening (somewhere in the world, a man named Dave throws himself into a stream of rocket exhaust and doesn’t know why – not that it matters for long), and heads into the Morgan camp. John Sunstrum, chief ambassador to arriving future alliance members, greets them, gives them a quick tour of the shelter where the flooding problem has in fact been solved (but the gilt is still running amuck) and leaves them to get ready for the Reward Challenge. The elaborate preparation rituals include semi-careful storage of the native currency, where Geoff has to be reminded that flashing one’s cash usually means removing it from the pocket instead of having it sticking halfway out, which should not be presumed to be a problem in other parts of his life no matter how much you want to, and no matter how much Kristin tells him ‘You can’t have it hanging out, hon. You just can’t,’ which really strikes me as sound advice given what I’ve seen of Geoff to this point. And, apparently under the impression that he’s actually starring in the African edition, Geoff dons a zebra-pattern jacket as both camouflage and an invitation for the lions in the card pit to eat him.

However, we have to keep the minor storylines floating, so MB takes a moment to head down to the casino floor and show us Matt Dusk (who’s been taking the Gervase path of providing the tribe’s entertainment) meeting up with tribe co-leader Tim. Matt wants to discuss the previous episode’s Reward Challenge, Sing For The State, where the tribe managed to score a great impression with the evening’s guest judges – but nearly lost the whole thing when those judges insisted on performing themselves, nearly scaring the wildlife out of the area and forcing the tribe to start resource-gathering all over again.

Tim loves what Matt did for the tribe, but questions the decision to let the judges into the contest. Matt assures him that the decision was entirely Joe’s (the self-styled entertainment director and president of the Future B.B’s Of America), and that he would never have allowed it to happen if he was ranked higher in the tribe. Tim’s not quite ready to swing a deal to bring Matt further along in the alliance, but does assure his entertainer that control over those performance-oriented Reward Challenges that he represents the tribe in is his and his alone, no matter what Joe says, ‘as long as you want to be here.’ Matt leaves, feeling somewhat reassured.

(You know, Matt’s been getting a lot of camera time early in the series. I’m starting to think he’ll be voted off soon, especially since the spoilers say he was seen away from the tribe while filming may have still been going on…)

Tim and Tom have a quick exchange – Tom insists that he’s in charge of manipulating Matt’s position in the alliance, Tim cordially tells his friend that he was just taking some pressure off him, Tom agrees and notes that he already took some pressure off Tim by approving the design of some of the tribe’s internal currency (a Tim job), the lesson is rammed home, and the co-leaders somehow remain strong – and it’s time to check in with Geoff again.

In fact, the entire extended tribe is checking in with Geoff, whose zebra striping (both outfit and hair) is drawing some attention as they head through the neon jungle. Geoff freely c-t admits that he’s a DAW to the core and likes people to look at him when he enters a room, pit, or bankruptcy court, then heads down to face the first lion armed with his own bankroll-weaponry and the promise of an if-needed 50k credit limit from future alliance member John.

In a quick c-t, Geoff admits knowing the odds are against him when he plays -- but he does it anyway, just because the high from a winning streak is so great. You’d think Geoff would have gotten himself one of those pocket video poker games so he could try for the thrill whenever he wanted to at the low cost of $7.99, but apparently being a real estate mogul doesn’t require knowing anything about how to spend money.

The first lion, located in the dice pit, turns out to be relatively toothless, and Tim decides to add to the high of Geoff’s easy victory by cementing their new alliance, dropping by to tell his new Reward/vote that he stands ready to give Geoff and his fellow Drakes anything they need. Really. Anything. Just let him know and it’s theirs. This is starting to sound very familiar, which probably means it’s time to bring in the second lion.

And here he comes! An as-yet maneless male, looking deceptively mild and harmless without the aura of hair. In fact, this lion cub is Tommy Sunstrum, John’s son and a potential wild card in the current alliance. Whose side is he on? Well, he’s definitely on the dealer’s side, because it’s time to play 10k limit blackjack. And whose side are the cards on? Well, the cards are on the side of the new Drake-Morgan alliance, because in blackjack, the odds are actually with the player instead of the house. Barely – just barely – but an experienced player can make them work to his advantage over the long run. It looks as if the Drake abduction strategy is about to start paying off.

But that’ll have to wait for a while, because it’s time for Mark Burnett’s patented A/B story arc, and we’re heading for Very Minor Story B. (You thought Matt was it? Matt is currently a quasi-background player whose screen time will increase as his tribal demise approaches. Draw on your experience, people.) We’re going to the tribe’s entertainment area, where Matt is currently performing (and this still isn’t about Matt) to meet five very minor new players. The first three are Virginia, David, and Beverly, one of the rare family alliances in the game. To wit, they’re wife, husband, and girlfriend.

That’s right. They have an open marriage, not to mention an open alliance. In fact, both social contracts are so open that they’re always looking for new members, short and long-term, to increase the strength of their voting block, form a screen-time diversion within the main camp, and, if at all possible, enjoy physical intimacy with people they met three hours ago. Apparently Rob and Amber left a deeper impression on the game than we thought.

After a quick scouting tip through the tribe’s domain, searching for people with that ‘right vibe’, our happy trio enters the music zone to find Chris and Maya having dinner there: the All You Can Stomach Buffet. (To be fair, it’s pretty easy to find Chris as women, children, and hair-care endorsements are drawn to the gravitational pull of his head from as much as sixty feet away. No maneless male here.) They’re a young married couple in Vegas to have a good time, and the trio would be happy to show them one in the name of getting their voting block. Oh, and that physical intimacy thing might be interesting, too. So Virginia approaches them and starts to make the opening overtures. The young couple is a bit discomforted by the idea of an open alliance – after all, it’s hardly part of traditional gameplay – but also intrigued enough to attend a ‘getting to know you’ party over at the Drake camp and see where the evening goes from there. After all, they can walk out at any time. And what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, unless you were dumb enough to sign on with a heavily scripted ‘reality’ show and let your actions be broadcast to that incredibly small segment of the world which watches FOX. But what are the odds of that happening?

Will Chris and Maya be seduced into the presumed-dangerous world of this non-Bush endorsed alternate lifestyle? Will Middle America quake at the presumed corruption of this innocent young couple? Did Middle America give up on them as a lost cause when it noticed they were an interracial couple? Did FOX institute a mandatory minimum amount of Weird Vegas Activity for each episode? Will I be checking in on this pitifully weak Story B as little as possible for the rest of the summary?

Before anyone tries to seriously answer any of that, let’s head back to Story A, where it turns out that in a classic Desert Survivor blunder, no one told the cards what they were supposed to do for the new alliance. Tommy is dealing out bad hand after bad hand to Geoff and posse, and the head Drake quickly finds himself in the hole to the tune of $50,000 – before Tommy makes blackjack against Geoff’s twenty to put him down even farther, despite Kristin’s threats to kick his All-Star Survivor if he turns over the jack. Tommy is racking up the Rewards for the Morgans, but it’s not sitting well with their alliance partners, who don’t get to share in such things unless they sign an official contract merge.

The posse persuades Geoff to sit out a hand or two, and their leader leaves the table for a few minutes – abandoning several thousand dollars in cash. Kristin immediately decides that it’s in the Drake’s best interests to protect their remaining tribal resources and stuffs the money in her designer purse. A quick c-t indicates that she’s really acting in her leader’s best interests. It’s not stealing, it’s just keeping the money away from the casino. After all, Geoff may get it back. Someday. Not someday soon, but someday. Really. After all, it’s not as if it was caught on camera to be broadcast on national television or anything. It’s just FOX. There’s every chance Geoff won’t even watch.

Geoff returns to find Kristin closing her purse – picking up that motion while completely failing to notice the missing cash -- and asks his girlfriend what she’s been doing. In a perfect Amber-inspired move, Kristin replies ‘Nothing. Love you.’ All of Geoff’s suspicions are immediately disarmed -- women of the world, take note: you generally cannot use this more than eighty times a day, and not for amounts over two hundred million – and Kristin heads off to the bathroom, purse in tow.

Tom – remember Tom? Morgan co-leader? I know this is a bigger tribe than anyone’s used to, but we should start thinning out the numbers soon – catches sight of the losing streak from the security room, and decides to put a stop to it. No, not by giving any of the money back: not even a Morgan would be that dumb. He just wants to get Geoff away from the table, cards, and Tommy for an extended period, and does so by heading down to the pit, introducing himself, and inviting the posse to dinner with him, which is of course on the house. (The house, up about $60,000 from the Drakes, can afford it. It’s not comps, it’s a really tiny percentage of refund.) Geoff somewhat reluctantly agrees, and cashes out so he can go eat.

Naturally, this is when Kristin returns and announces that somewhere between the bathroom and the table, she lost her thousand-dollar designer purse. That’s right. Her thousand dollar designer purse. This is such an important point, she has to repeat it a few more times before mentioning the strictly incidental detail of the $25,000 of Geoff’s money in the purse also having gone missing.

Geoff takes it well. After all, she loves him. (And if you’re wondering if the purse is actually well-secured somewhere that Kristin can get to it later, go right ahead. I can’t stop you.)

Tom takes a moment to head up to security for a special ‘If you see the Drake purse, return it. I know we’re allowed to steal one item each time we win over a new alliance member, but I don’t think this should be the one’ request – during which time, Geoff abandons his food and heads back to the lion’s blackjack den. He’s smart enough to get away from Tommy, but doesn’t seem to realize that the new female dealer is the deadlier of the species – and that the cards still haven’t come down on his side. Within seconds, it’s back to losing – to the point where he’s up against his credit limit.

Geoff requests a $50,000 credit extension from his new Morgan buddies. Tim, starting to feel slightly nervous about this alliance, grants $30,000 of it. Right now, the Drakes are playing with Morgan money and losing it to the Morgans, with the promise of bringing in replacement Drake funds later. And that trick hardly ever works.

Unfortunately, neither Tim nor Tom nor anyone else whose name starts with T has thought to update the cards on the plan, as the lioness deals out a 2-3-7-A-3-4 sequence to herself, scoring 20 and dealing Geoff’s budget (which is now also the Morgan budget) another blow. (Geoff counts this as 21. This may explain something about his performance to date.) Geoff is soon personally down over 100k and the other Drakes, seeing him down to his last Morgan $7000, note that he still has ‘A Tercel, a Buick’ in his hands, not to mention the entire production budget of any other FOX reality series, and he really should leave. Now. The alliance is not working out. The cards simply can’t be trusted.

Geoff, showing a Jon-like lack of intelligence for a Drake and lacking that party’s substitute raw cunning, still doesn’t want to walk away. After all, that high has to be just around the corner now. And think how good it’ll feel to come back from that far down. After all, when you’re about to hit rock bottom, the rock below you just has to be crack cocaine. Right?

Wrong. The posse leads Geoff away from the table and takes him to bed.

Tomorrow is another day, and it opens with Tom on the roof (and we can’t get him down), introducing us to the most telegenic member of the tribe. Meet Bally, a beautiful dog with a definite need to be walked. On the roof, of course. With the co-leader of the tribe trailing her, pooper-scooper at the ready. This is an intolerable state of affairs that cannot be allowed to continue. The co-leader has much more important ways to spend his camera time.

Under the rules of Desert Survivor, the co-leaders can draft one new tribe member in each episode, as long as they give up some of their camera time to do so and agree on the choice. Tom feels the need is great and Tim just doesn’t want the new guy to be taller than him – so the necessary agreement is reached, and they both surrender a few precious minutes to Zack, the new executive assistant who must be passed in order to reach the co-leaders. Zack’s position in the tribe is very important. And that position is right behind Bally, waiting with the pooper-scooper. They always tell you when you’re starting at the bottom, but not always that you’re going to stay there.

In the best camera irony of the episode, Zack calls his mother and openly wonders into the cell phone if his new position is going to stick, just as the lens zooms in on the pre-scoop results of Bally’s efforts. The position may not stick, Zack, but rest assured that something will.

And what is the Drake posse doing on this fine morning? They’re debating whether to get room service and leave, or just leave, period. The alliance doesn’t look any better with the dawn. But they need their leader around to finalize the decision – and their leader is back at the blackjack pit. Just himself, the dealer, and a slowly increasing pile of chips. Could it be that someone finally managed to brief the cards during the camera downtime?

Probably not, because the rest of the day passes without camera notice, and it’s time to check in on Pitiful Story Arc B. Chris and Maya get into a stretch limo with that swinging trio and head off to the Drake camp for that getting-to-know-you party. There’s a quick discussion of fidelity, experimentation, and physical intimacy with near-strangers. Open relationships have never looking so boring, nor has a Caucasian male’s hair ever looked so puffed. And that’s it for now on Pitiful Story Arc B. We now return you to your major losing streak, already in progress.

The Drake posse has moved over to the baccarat table, and apparently the cards are not talking to each other between games, because the credit supply is gone again, and an additional $30,000 has been requested. Tim, starting to smell a Pagong rat, grants it – but this extension is it. No more.

(And now, a special gambling note: in baccarat, the cards die.

Why do players bend, rip, ink-mark, puncture, mutilate, and otherwise kill their cards? Because they’ll never be used again. In this game alone, the cards are disposed of at the end of each hand, and as such, the players are free to do pretty much what they want to, as long as the results can still be made out by the house. Win, lose – once the hidden audience has seen what happened, the corpses of the soldiers are swept off the battlefield, never to be seen again – unless, for some strange reason, someone decides the remains would make an interesting public display. The cards only matter for their brief moment in the eyes of those around them and those unseen. After that, no one cares.

Any resemblance between the cards and people who appear on reality television is completely coincidental. We now return you to your increasingly desperate summary, which should really be reaching an end in a few pages. I hope.)

Geoff, c-t feeling that baccarat is boring and completely losing any chance of getting together with the Brain to take over the world in the process, likes to spice up the game by creating extra-special card mutilations. Outright tearing in half, for starters. Punching giant holes in the centers. It’s Geoff The Ripper in action, and these cards have been prostituting for the Morgans all night! Attack!

However, there comes a point where the security cameras can’t ID the remains as once having been an active body, and the local CSI team isn’t used to dealing with deceased Wonderland guards. The overhead security view can’t tell which value the now-completely-shredded cards originally were, and the dealer can’t read the pieces to find out who won. As such, the security team calls down to the floor and asks the local head lions to pass on some advice: the Drakes are to stop the massacre. Immediately. Or it’s Red Cross time, and we all know how they feel about making sure cards get through intact.

The head lion passes on the advice. Geoff, feeling that anyone who’s down over a hundred grand is entitled to take it out on something (and the lions should presumably be glad it’s not them), tears the cards into even smaller pieces. Tim, watching on a security monitor, announces that he’s not going to lose his tribal charter over this game violation and heads down to the floor to give out the advice in person.

And it’s time for the inter-tribe showdown! Tim tells the Drakes not to tear the cards at all! Geoff protests that Tim is changing the rules on them! And sure enough, the rules say you can tear the cards, although shredding isn’t specifically covered! Tim says he’s not changing anything! Geoff announces that he’s done with the Morgans and recalls the Drakes from the table! The alliance is shattered!

Geoff c-t admits that when you’re on a losing streak, you don’t want to hear someone tell you to stop doing something that you’ve been doing all along. Presumably ‘stop losing’ would be included in that.

Oh, and for those who might care just a little about Pitiful Story Arc B, Maya dances a little with Virginia and Beverly over at the Morgan camp.

John Sunstrum – remember John? I had to check the first part of the summary myself – steps into Story Arc A to mediate between the tribes. During the mediation, two days at the casino and $100,000 lost somehow turns into four days at the casino and $200,000 lost from the Drake end – great editing, Mark – but the results are the same: the posse is heading back to Drake.

John passes the story to Tom. Tom discusses things with Tim. John has the shred vs. tear comparison laid out for Tim. And the co-leaders agree that the alliance has to be re-cemented, especially since Drake walked out owing Morgan a lot of tribal resources. But how?

We’ll find out right after this word from Pitiful Story Arc B.

The party moves from Drake to Morgan, where the open trio takes our young couple up to their room and begins a little intensive kissing in front of them. Chris is unnerved. Maya is intrigued. Chris wants to leave. Maya wants to stay. Chris gets up. Maya follows. They both leave. A fountain erupts as the lights behind it go out, symbolizing something or other. Middle America is saved, or would be if anyone there was still watching for the little ‘they’re destroying each other’ quasi-moral at the end. And Pitiful Story Arc B comes to an end. Thank you for waiting through it.

Meanwhile, back in the part of the episode that isn’t putting me to sleep, Morgan is having a tribal conference. The Drakes will have to return for their things (minus the confiscated purse). Why not use the opportunity to show them just how great Morgan can really be --

And once again, I will wait here patiently until you stop laughing.

Thank you. Just how great Morgan can really be, with a dazzling display of comps! Plus they’ll provide a replacement purse, minus the $25,000 the first one contained! Oh, yes – and the Drakes can tear the cards in half. No shredding, though.

The Drakes return for their things. John meets them in their shelter and explains the rip vs. tear vs. shred vs. lose the tribal charter because no one can read the cards and the Casino Control Commission may yell ‘collusion!’ problem. The posse understands this to a degree and have managed to settle on the number of days they were considering the alliance as three, but they’re still visibly irritated. John’s solution to this is pre-paid Reward Comp #1: lunch in the Presidential Suite.

After a quick return to some Restaurant or another, the dispatchment of Zack for a replacement purse, and the addition of a vodka brand that will not be mentioned here because they haven’t given me any money to appear in this summary, we get the following exchange in the elevator to the Presidential Suite.

Dee, Marketing Director And Man On The Spot: ‘The next time you’re here, this will be the Geoff Mills Suite.’ (‘Would you please allow me to move my lips closer to your rear?’)
Geoff: ‘Are we ever coming here again?’ (‘Do you think his lipstick will go nicely with my casino-tinted skin tone?’)
Posse: ‘No.’ (‘No. Besides, that’s our job.’)

The newly-named Gambling Fool Suite boasts a pool table, a great view, a decent-looking meal, and one very awkward silence when the posse refuses to tell Dee what he can do to lure them back to Morgan, other than turning over all of the torches on the spot. But wait – is this a savior? Is this a plot twist riding to the rescue? Are the Outcast dollars about to re-enter the game and vote off Tim and Tom?

No, it’s just Zack. And he’s got a thousand-dollar designer purse whose creator shall not be named here because I’m still not getting a dime or a free sample from the company, and it’s an exact match for the one Kristin ‘lost’. This, however, is enough to perk Kristin up quite a bit, and where the girlfriend goes emotionally, can the boyfriend help but follow?

Not if the destination is the golf course, he can’t. So John leads them out to a local green, where they engage in a quick game of Forfeit The Reward. John is under strict instructions to show the Drakes a good time. Winning at golf produces a good time. There are few things easier in the world than playing golf badly, on purpose or not. So John plays to help Drake, which plays to help itself – and Drake wins Reward! The game of golf is actually fun! And, just to make things more interesting, a few (hundred) dollars are won during bets on putts! But it’s not collusion or anything.

And really, in the final analysis, does anything in Desert Survivor build false trust faster than inviting someone along on a food Reward and then treating them to a trip outside the immediate game? And when you’re running short on screen time for this episode, is there any way you can present a resolution that doesn’t wrap things up with what feels like almost insulting speed?

Nope. So the Drakes leave the Morgan camp to head for home knowing that John is the only Morgan they can really trust. Their alliance with him is solid, true, and sealed with hugs all around. After all, if you can’t count on a man who’ll blow a game of golf for you, what is there to believe in? Geoff heads out the front door declaring ‘That was fun. Maybe not a couple of hundred thousand dollars worth of fun, but it was fun.’ You’d almost think John’s new alliance with the Drakes covered more than what was shown… but then, alliances completely revealed never succeed.

And in the end, John reports in to his tribe co-leaders with the good news: in his opinion, the Drakes will definitely be back to solidify their alliance with the Morgans.

Tim feels they’d better be back. They owe him over $100,000 in expended tribal resources. And when the top prize is only a million dollars, that’s a lot of potential loss to swallow. (But it serves him right for cutting a deal with another contestant.)

So that’s it for this episode of Desert Survivor. To provide a quick review:

REWARD: Drake.
IMMUNITY: Morgan.
VOTED OFF: Chris, Maya, Beverly, Virginia, and David.
NOT BOTHERING WITH THE REST OF THE SERIES: Estee.

And now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go pull a well-earned Osten. Peace, over and out.

(Short! It was actually halfway short!)