This show, without a doubt, reveals that any amount of sense that the girls, Paris and Nicole, have come from watching movies. If you keep reading this summary, you’ll see the movie refs popping up. I guess this is what you get when you watch a “Lost Episode.”
Before the theme song, Paris tries to explain what a Laundromat is to Nicole. The only way she was able to do that was to remind Nicole of Josh Hairnet’s movie “40 Days and 40 Nights.” Wow. I didn’t know that movie was that educational. Maybe I’ll have to rent it. I kinda missed it when it was in theatres. (On purpose.)
The next part of the show is all about that messed up truck. Supposedly, Mr. Leding fixed the truck, so the girls are able to go partying. And the question on everybody’s minds, is where do these girls go to party? A country bar (complete with line dancing), of course. Naturally, the music isn’t up to these girls tastes (not that I blame them – I not a fan of country bars either). So to liven the place, they turn it into an eighties bar. Now that’s better! Paris dances like she did in the movie, “The Cat in the Hat.” (Yes, she was in that movie for two seconds in the rave scene. Trust me, so you don’t actually go out and watch the movie.) The only thing that surprised me was that they didn’t play any of Daddy’s songs. But wouldn’t that just make Nicole homesick? You’ll find out soon, enough.
After some dancing, it is time for home, and the “fixed” truck starts smoking. It looks like something out of a movie. My brother (the guy who loves his car mags) started saying stuff about it isn’t good and one of their cylinders probably blew and I stopped listening to him. I pretty much hold the same opinion as the girls. If a vehicle is smoking (and not from the exhaust), it is not a good thing. Of course, the girls shriek while explaining that this truck is going to blow up. They do exaggerate, after all.
Being a lost episode, with clips from Paris’ and Nicole’s stay, what would you expect to appear next? Well, after watching so many reality TV recrap episodes, I pretty much guessed that now would be a good time to show the missing home sequence. Guess what? I was right. And unlike Survivor, where the people are actually starving, and have no contact with anybody else, we see Paris talking to her mom on the phone. I guess for the rich and famous, though, that might be roughing it. I would love to see these girls on ASS. That would be funny. You could take out Amber and Shi-Ann and put these girls in. I could so see them making alliances with Jerri and S6 Jenna. They would probably call it the Playboy alliance. But then again, they’re rich, and this is as much roughing as they are going to do, and momma only feels sympathy. Momma feels so much sympathy that she has the police man deliver Chinese food from LA! Bubble wrapped food! Little Braxton knows what to do with bubble wrap. Good for you kid! Keep popping those bubbles.
This next part is funny (trust me). They totally open everything up, and it looks like the Ledings never had Chinese food in their lives. Mrs. Leding asked what the deep fried balls (that looked like chicken balls) were. Yeah, they were chicken balls. Were you expecting squid, seaweed, or oysters? Now that is the exotic Chinese food. The Chinese restaurant in my home town (pop. 1000) serves chicken balls. And the Chinese restaurant in the next town (pop. 750) also serves chicken balls. Now I’m not sure, but is it only a Canadian thing to have a Chinese restaurant in almost every small town? I’m really curious to know. Ugh, and the middle boy put ketchup with his food. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I love ketchup (I have the regular stuff and the Sweet Basil and Oregano stuff in my fridge) and put it on my eggs, with my KD, and a huge blob on my hamburger and hot dogs and I usually put a blob in chicken noodle soup, but this is just gross. Ketchup does not belong with Chinese food. If you need a condiment, it is called plum sauce or soy sauce. Not ketchup.
So did the Chinese delivery work? It was supposed to make the girls feel better but now they’ll just be more homesick. Oh well. I guess they weren’t cut out for Survivor. And they just aren’t cut out for a more simple life. Mr. Leding hopes that they’ll learn to appreciate nature. He is right, listening to crickets and watching a sunset really is a nice part of life. I do miss that when I’m living in the city.
Nature is nice, but sometimes it acts mean. Right now, I’m pretty POed at the nature. It’s minus forty where I’m living. And if you are wondering what scale I’m going by, it is the same in Celsius and in Fahrenheit at that temperature. Brrrrr. The weather that is acting up for the Ledings and the girls would be severe thunderstorms and possible tornados.
Everybody is concerned. Poor Braxton is scared and crying. Poor kid. Paris and Nicole look scared too. They gather in the basement and listen to radio and tv reports about the weather. Of course, the girls with their infinite wisdom (thanks to the movies) reminisce about “The Wizard of Oz.” I guess Tinkerbell would be Toto, eh? The wind blows and the Fox yard cam blanks out. It turns out that the storm wasn’t really severe. That was too bad. Paris and Nicole wanted to see a twister and watch a cow and a house fly by like the movie, “Twister.” Maybe these girls should just stick to the movies.
Now that the weather story played out, it is time for another job. To go to the new job, the girls get a “new” truck. This “new” truck looks worse than the truck they had before. Oh well. And the new job? They get to deliver animals that were stuffed at the taxidermist. The first animal they have is a wild turkey. Unfortunately, the girls damaged the feathers while opening a door. The damage will come out of their salary.
Another animal delivery was a bear. On the way to the delivery, the girls decide they are hungry and go to Sonic’s drive-thru (yeah, the place they were fired from previously). They eat in the back of their truck and decide that the bear needs a makeover like so many other animals (like the cows they glittered). The bear got some blush treatment. Also while eating, the girls discuss their life ambitions of being Anna Nicole Smith (she should have a biopic movie ;)) with an elderly man. I’m not sure if this is a good goal to have in life. I’m thinking no.
And the conclusion to The Simple Life Lost Episode, shows the girls at their best. Partying!!! There is some old fashioned fighting in the parking lot, lots of tequila, and the prank of drawing a mustache on the passed out guy. Seems like something from a bad movie. What a great way to end the show! Now let’s go back to watching Survivor! (Only four more days!)
Three is the perfect number.