"Official Summary: The Simple Life 2 Ep 10- The One With the Cowboys" - Reality TV World Message Board Forums - "Official Summary: The Simple Life 2 Ep 10- The One With the Cowboys"

Reality TV World Message Board Forums PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats, but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are encouraged to read the complete guidelines. As entertainment critic Roger Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."

"Official Summary: The Simple Life 2 Ep 10- The One With the Cowboys"

Conferences The Simple Life (Protected)
Email this topic to a friend Printer-friendly version of this topic Bookmark this topic (Registered users only)		Previous Topic \| Next Topic
Original message

ballerina_of_doom 1462 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"	08-07-04, 02:07 AM (EST)
"Official Summary: The Simple Life 2 Ep 10- The One With the Cowboys"
This wont take long. It's still dark, and the lonely road ahead is devoid of life (like Paris!). Several barely laughable moments of film are wasted on a scary moth deliberately tormenting Paris and Nicole, who kills the moth with her Chanel bag. Oddly, the dead moth flies out the open window seconds later. Driving continues. Paris says something vapid and empty, Nicole says something rude. In the middle of nowhere, they run out of gas.....much like this show. (Yes, I know they just left Nowhere, but I did mention Nowhere is a very big place in Texas.) Paris goes to the hood and makes some petting motions, as if that would magically raise the hood. Perhaps someone should tell her that only works on Backstreet Boy backup dancer wannabes and frat boys. Why she goes to check under the hood, no one knows. Even Nicole asks what her purpose was. She used much smaller words, though. Oh no. What now. They're stuck all alone. In the dark. With no one around. And wild animal noise soundtracks playing repetitively in the distance. Suddenly, down the road, as if scripted, a car comes by! (ok it's an SUV....) The kindly folk who just happen to be driving down a backwoods, and likely private road offer them a ride, of all places, to their destination! The YO Ranch. It's a real working ranch with real cowboys. You'll get that. A lot. The word 'cowboy' repeats far too many times in this episode. In fact, we'll start the "cowboy" word count (1), now. In the short drive to the ranch, between hoping they've met with the family from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and hoping the thunderstorm would knock out my cable, or power, the female passenger shows them her bible covered in...what is that? Deerskin? That's hot. Oh, did I mention Nicole being rude and Paris being vapid? At the YO Ranch they meet Blonde Cowboygirl who lets the dynamic duo know that this is where they'll learn about the real life of the cowboy. The ranch is a home to real cowboys and this is the cowboy way. ("Cowboy" count: 34) Over cowboy breakfast they learn they'll learn there's a lot of work to be done when you're a cowboy (or girl). They watch as calves are branded by real cowboys and are instructed by Blonde Cowboygirl that they're to assist. Paris stuns us all by putting words together in sentences and saying she's an animal activist and cannot possibly brand a cow. Blonde Cowboygirl says the girls will do whatever it takes to get the job done. Nicole starts sizing up the cowboys. ("Cowboy" count: 454) Ahh, but they have a better plan. They decorate the cows with lipstick. Surely no cattle thieves can remove that mark. Wonder why no cowboy ever thought of that before. One particularly unwilling bull fella is given extra fancy decoration, right down to the "Poop", replete with directional arrow. The girls discuss how awful branding is, and how they could never do it...while pondering what shade of eyeshadow the now named "Bill the Cow" would best be suited for. Later, the 'animal activists' sit down with the other cowboys for a nice lunch of some sort of charred, dead animal flesh. It is mentioned, between several uses of the word 'cowboy', that there's so much to get done that they'll be working through til morning. Paris, from behind mirrored shades, mutters something like "It sounds like you mean working through the night or something." Blonde Cowboygirl, who isn't impressed with their manners one bit, laughs maniacally, pulls out a chainsaw and hacks the girls into little tiny pieces and grinds them up for cowboy chili. Ok, not really. But clearly Blonde Cowboygirl enjoys the look of worry that crosses the girls' botox'd brows upon learning they'll be up all cowboy night. Yes, that's right. They're goin' on a cattle drive! Now, what does one need for a cattle drive? Horses! Aww, poor Paris is skeered of horsies, what with having been trampled (nudged?) by one just recently (several episodes back). She reminds us, and informs the cowboys (who could care less) that she was airlifted, by helicoptor no less, to hospital where she had several photo ops to show her bravery. sniff Pass the tissues, please. The cowboys laugh and tell her she should quit whining and get back on the horse. It's the cowboy way. ("Cowboy"count: 1,567) Cattle are like gold in Texas. Smelly, furry gold. These cattle are going to slaughter. If you've ever bought prime rib or filet mignon, you know what I mean. Good eatin' if ya gots tha gold. So, what type of lame-brained cattleman would let these girls actually have any responsibility concerning what amounts to over 1000 lbs of burgers and steaks per animal? The same type of lame-brain cop who let these two drive a cop car, of course. The drive is dull. Boring even. The girls aren't as rude, but they're whiny. "Are we there yet? "Can we stop and have lunch?" "Can we take a nap?" "Are you legal? At one point they ditch the others and hide. Childish? Yes. Stupid? Most definitely. Blonde Cowboygirl and Random Cowboy (He's been around. He's just not interesting enough to note.) search for them. Unlike the dimwitted duo, they know how dangerous it could be to get lost. We, the viewers, on the other hand, would very much like them to get lost. Blonde Cowboygirl finds them hiding in a small clearing. Oh, I'm sorry....resting, and stretching in a small clearing.. B.C gives them a good lecture about the 60,000 acres in which they could have been lost and eaten by a bigfoot never to be seen or heard from again. It goes in one ear and out the other. With nothing but air to travel through, it's a fast trip. Back on the trail, and insolent as ever, Paris and Nicole take time to admire Bill and his trappings of cow drag queen nature. They have a moment of lucidity and ask where they're taking the cows. Slaughter? They're going to Kill Bill? Oh this will never do! Paris offers to have Daddy buy Bill so he won't get ground up into McDonald's Happy Meals. Cowboys agree. ("Cowboy" count: 10,000) So, that's it kids. It's over. It's done. They're finished driving across the country from Florida to uh....Texas...and we're finished watching. But not before a shot of the girls lounging by the pool at the mansion, where they discuss their brave adventures in single syllables, or four letter words. It could be mentioned that they're in string bikinis, but I doubt anyone was still awake to see, or care at this point. Bill the cow is delivered as promised, and Paris says she doesn't like him anymore, and they should sell him. The season, like this summary, can be summed up in four words. Thank God it's over. Final "cowboy"count: 8,675,309
Alert	Edit \| Reply \| Reply With Quote \| Top

Table of Contents

Subject Author Message Date ID

RE: Official Summary: The Simple Li... Schnookie Palookie 08-07-04 1

RE: Official Summary: The Simple Li... strid333 08-08-04 2

RE: Official Summary: The Simple Li... GrendelsMom 08-09-04 3

RE: Official Summary: The Simple Li... deerhunter 08-09-04 4

Lobby | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic

Messages in this topic

Schnookie Palookie 16822 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
08-07-04, 08:45 PM (EST)

1. "RE: Official Summary: The Simple Life 2 Ep 10- The One With the Cowboys"

"Blonde Cowboygirl, who isn't impressed with their manners one bit, laughs maniacally, pulls out a chainsaw and hacks the girls into little tiny pieces and grinds them up for cowboy chili."
LOL
Thanks BoD! I love a good snarky summary *smooch*

Bananapalooza Tour Schedule

Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

strid333 2928 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest"
08-08-04, 12:08 PM (EST)

2. "RE: Official Summary: The Simple Life 2 Ep 10- The One With the Cowboys"

Psst - if writing out the word cowboy was a bit much for you, you should take a hint from us at the Big Brother threads when we refer to the guy Cowboy as CB.
Nonetheless, that was a hillarious summary. Those girls are contradictory with their "animal rights."

Three is the perfect number.

Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

GrendelsMom 3272 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
08-09-04, 00:38 AM (EST)

3. "RE: Official Summary: The Simple Life 2 Ep 10- The One With the Cowboys"

Ok, I'm sorry, but THAT? was too funny!
Slice & Dice Chop Shop 2004
Nice. As usual.

Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

deerhunter 3325 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
08-09-04, 04:57 PM (EST)

4. "RE: Official Summary: The Simple Life 2 Ep 10- The One With the Cowboys"

I might be late but that was hilarious Doom!
I was hoping Bill would actually have run away mooing.

Slice n' Dice's Sigpic Chop Shop 2004
Told you I would read this Doom. Sorry it took me so long to post a reply1

Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Lock | Archive | Remove

Lobby | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic

p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -

about this site • advertise on this site • contact us • privacy policy •