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" **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
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jbug 16793 desperate attention whore postings
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12-10-13, 10:14 PM (EST)
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" **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"

My name is JuneBug and I am blond.
We've always suspected it; my mother called it dishwater blond.
It's now proven.
On Sunday, I was at my moms; her power was out. I decided to at least get her tree standing up, thinking that she could work on it a bit at time then.
It's a pre-lit tree and every year more and more of the lights don't work. Last year I cut off all the wires/lights on the top section (there are 3 sections) so I could just string some lights on it without seeing all the unlit bulbs.
So, I get it put together and think to myself....I'll see if these lights work; if they don't I'll sit over here and cut the wires off another section.
So, I plugged it up; sure enough, this year not one light works!
I took the middle section over to the table, got the cutters out and went to work. After only a few minutes my mother said "How do you know the lights don't work?"
I said "I plugged them up!"
She just looked at me; then said "June, nothing works, we don't have power."
It took me a minute
So, I covered by saying "well, a lot of them didn't work last year anyway."
I continued cutting the wires off that section. Next year I'll finish the bottom section!

**sits down***

Any other blonds at this meeting?


tiny frozen stolen clown

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... byoffer 12-11-13 1
   RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... jbug 12-11-13 4
 RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... foonermints 12-11-13 2
   RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... jbug 12-11-13 5
 RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... kingfish 12-11-13 3
   RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... jbug 12-11-13 6
       RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... kingfish 12-11-13 10
 RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... Molaholic 12-11-13 7
   RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... jbug 12-16-13 17
 The International Redhead Salute Estee 12-11-13 8
 RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... suzzee 12-11-13 9
 RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... PepeLePew13 12-11-13 11
 RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... PepeLePew13 12-11-13 12
   RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... byoffer 12-13-13 13
 RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... adricharlie 12-14-13 14
   RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... kidflash212 12-15-13 15
 RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... Dakota 12-15-13 16
   RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... jbug 12-16-13 18
       *sets thread on fire* foonermints 12-23-13 20
 RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... byoffer 12-22-13 19
   RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... jbug 12-24-13 21
 RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... Puffy 12-24-13 22
   RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... kingfish 12-30-13 25
 RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... Puffy 12-24-13 23
 RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... byoffer 12-30-13 24
   RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anon... jbug 12-31-13 26

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byoffer 15941 desperate attention whore postings
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12-11-13, 00:26 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
I say blonde, but my wife says it is just gray.

Power goes out fairly regularly at our cottage. Typically no big deal (unless it goes on for too long). But one thing we have noticed - and this seems to be true of everyone - even though one knows the power is out, it is impossible to walk into a new room without flicking the light switch.

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jbug 16793 desperate attention whore postings
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12-11-13, 10:56 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
very true...

When we went up to my sisters - also no power - my BIL told everyone NOT to let me start changing light bulbs since they didn't have any lights on.



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foonermints 12634 desperate attention whore postings
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12-11-13, 00:57 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
You also have a stolen frozen clown when you really need:


FireClownie!
(font color=blonde] Kinda figures..

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jbug 16793 desperate attention whore postings
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12-11-13, 10:57 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
more snow!!!!

fire = I likey!


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kingfish 16635 desperate attention whore postings
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12-11-13, 10:08 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
Hello JuneBug. My name is Kingfish, and people say I have a problem. I have no idea what they are talking about.
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jbug 16793 desperate attention whore postings
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12-11-13, 10:58 AM (EST)
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6. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
Want me to give you a hint?


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kingfish 16635 desperate attention whore postings
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12-11-13, 03:20 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
no.
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Molaholic 8680 desperate attention whore postings
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12-11-13, 11:00 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
While you were busy you could have had the kids watch TV by candlelight.
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jbug 16793 desperate attention whore postings
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12-16-13, 09:44 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
I don't have any kids!



Ag covered my snowglobe in chocolate! Awesome!

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Estee 55855 desperate attention whore postings
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12-11-13, 11:08 AM (EST)
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8. "The International Redhead Salute "
*points and laughs*
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suzzee 5217 desperate attention whore postings
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12-11-13, 03:07 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"

The blonde and the truck


A blonde is driving home when she sees a big yellow truck in front of her. At the crossing when the truck stops she gets out of her car and runs to the drivers window of the truck. She yells:

"Hi I'm Pam! Your truck is leaking!!"

The truck driver ignores her and drives away.

The blonde gets back into her car and follows the truck to the next crossing where she does the same thing.

"Hi I'm Pam. Your truck is LEAKING!!"

Once again the truckdriver ignores her.

When the blonde for the third time tries to get the message through to the truck driver, he loses his patience.

"Hi I'm Pam. Your truck is really leaking!"

He replies:

"Hi I'm John. It's the middle of January and I'm driving the

salt truck!"

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PepeLePew13 24948 desperate attention whore postings
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12-11-13, 08:52 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
Two blondes were on a road trip in a car in eastern Texas. As they approached the city of Nacogdoches, they started to argue about the proper way to pronounce the name of the place.

After a few vehement minutes of this, they pulled into a fast food joint for some dinner. While at the order desk, one of the blondes asked, "We had a discussion, and wondered if you could tell us how to pronounce the name of this place?"

The cashier took one look at the hair colour of the blondes and replied, "Burrrrgggerrrrr Kiiiiiing."


Personal blond moments? I've been known to put the peanut butter into the fridge and the jam into the cupboard.

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PepeLePew13 24948 desperate attention whore postings
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12-11-13, 09:41 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
Just saw this on a site that I frequent regularly and thought it was perfect for this thread...


(A customer calls up asking to order reprints over the phone. She is very pleasant and the order is completed smoothly. She indicates that she would like to pay over the phone, which is fine. I go to the front phone and register to take her information and ring her out.)

Me: Okay. Your total comes to with tax.

Caller: I have four $20 bills.

Me: Im sorry. I dont think I heard you correctly. How would you like to pay?

Caller: With cash. That way I cant overspend. I have four $20 bills to use.

Me: Im sorry, maam. I cannot take cash over the phone. We take all major credit cards, or you can pay by cash when you pick up your order.

Caller: No. This is ridiculous. Youll be busy when I pick it up. I just want to pay now and get it out of the way.

Me: I understand. We accept all major credit cards. I am ready whenever you are to complete the sale.

Caller: Im not giving you that! Youre just trying to steal my credit card! I want to pay cash!

Me: If you would like to pay cash, you can come in and pay when you pick up the order. I cannot take cash over the phone.

Caller: But I have cash! My husband can tell you I have it right here!

Me: I believe you, but there is no way for me to accept your cash unless you come to the store in person. You are welcome to do that. Pre-paying is an option, not a requirement.

Caller: I want to pay now!

(This continues for several minutes, until she finally decides to speak to my manager. Ultimately, she cancels the order, demanding that our company becomes more willing to accommodate multiple methods of payment in the future.)

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byoffer 15941 desperate attention whore postings
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12-13-13, 01:00 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
That made me laugh so much, here's $20 for Pepe for taking the time to post...

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adricharlie 1323 desperate attention whore postings
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12-14-13, 11:07 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
Between my daughter and I we have more blonde moments than I really want to admit to but today there were a couple that made me think of this thread.

The first was at the bowling alley. My daughter decided the reason she was doing bad was because her ball was too heavy so she got a MUCH lighter ball. On her next turn she proceeded to lob the ball and bounce it into the lane next to ours.....

The second was this evening. We were getting ready to light candles for my sons birthday cake. After a pretty extensive search we found a box of matches. Just as I was about to strike one somebody asks..."Did you check the expiration date??" I proceeded to spend the next several minutes searching the box of matches for the expiration date....which it didn't have.....


Courtesy of Tribe....

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kidflash212 3959 desperate attention whore postings
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12-15-13, 10:26 AM (EST)
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15. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
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Dakota 5702 desperate attention whore postings
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12-15-13, 02:40 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
Gosh, I've heard of this sort of thing but never had the experience for myself.

Tribe and Coco '13

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jbug 16793 desperate attention whore postings
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12-16-13, 09:47 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
LAST EDITED ON 12-16-13 AT 09:48 PM (EST)



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foonermints 12634 desperate attention whore postings
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12-23-13, 02:26 PM (EST)
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20. "*sets thread on fire*"
LAST EDITED ON 12-23-13 AT 02:28 PM (EST)

Still with the stolen forbidden frozen fudgikle, I see.

Crazy Icey Agman!

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byoffer 15941 desperate attention whore postings
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12-22-13, 06:15 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
Huge ice storm hit Ontario last night, and massive tree damage in Toronto. The power keeps coming and going.

jbug - when the power goes out, the Christmas lights keep malfunctioning. Can I borrow your cutters?

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jbug 16793 desperate attention whore postings
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12-24-13, 06:22 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
snip snip

ouch!

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Puffy 6595 desperate attention whore postings
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12-24-13, 09:54 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.

Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heaven the voiced bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole.

The voice came once more, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "IS THAT YOU LORD?"

The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK."



I waddle for Agman

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kingfish 16635 desperate attention whore postings
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12-30-13, 10:41 AM (EST)
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25. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
That was funny.

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Puffy 6595 desperate attention whore postings
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12-24-13, 09:57 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."

With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled,"Mama needs new clothes!"

Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers. She then picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know I thought YOU were watching!"

Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.


I waddle for Agman

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byoffer 15941 desperate attention whore postings
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12-30-13, 01:45 AM (EST)
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24. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
One for jbug...

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jbug 16793 desperate attention whore postings
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12-31-13, 06:09 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: **stands up at the Blonds Anonymous Meeting**"
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