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"my family wants a dog"
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cqvenus 9764 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 08:14 AM (EST)
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"my family wants a dog"
hey, guys... long time no see!

my family wants a dog. i do not want a dog. i think 4-5 children is enough. (3 live here, one visits). one isn't even born yet (due in aug)

if we *did* get a puppy, when should we get it? in theory, it will be a lab-beagle mix.

i think it's too late to get a puppy trained by the time the baby comes. my husband disagrees. my children (of course) disagree.

i don't want a dog right now (or ever, really, if i'm being honest). help me out, people!

cq

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: my family wants a dog Snidget 04-30-13 1
   RE: my family wants a dog cqvenus 04-30-13 2
 RE: my family wants a dog Max Headroom 04-30-13 3
   RE: my family wants a dog Snidget 04-30-13 5
 RE: my family wants a dog kingfish 04-30-13 4
   RE: my family wants a dog Snidget 04-30-13 6
       RE: my family wants a dog kingfish 04-30-13 8
           RE: my family wants a dog Snidget 04-30-13 9
           RE: my family wants a dog jbug 05-01-13 33
 RE: my family wants a dog Estee 04-30-13 7
   RE: my family wants a dog kingfish 04-30-13 10
       RE: my family wants a dog Estee 04-30-13 11
           RE: my family wants a dog kingfish 04-30-13 15
               RE: my family wants a dog Snidget 04-30-13 16
                   RE: my family wants a dog kingfish 04-30-13 17
 RE: my family wants a dog thndrkttn 04-30-13 12
 RE: my family wants a dog zombiebaby 04-30-13 13
 A key question moonbaby 04-30-13 14
   RE: A key question Max Headroom 04-30-13 19
       RE: A key question agman 05-02-13 35
 RE: my family wants a dog bondt007 04-30-13 18
   RE: my family wants a dog Estee 04-30-13 20
 Congrats! jbug 04-30-13 21
 RE: my family wants a dog CSHS79 04-30-13 22
 RE: my family wants a dog Silvergirl1 04-30-13 23
   RE: my family wants a dog cahaya 04-30-13 24
 RE: my family wants a dog Puffy 05-01-13 25
   RE: my family wants a dog Molaholic 05-01-13 34
 thanks, everyone! cqvenus 05-01-13 26
   RE: thanks, everyone! Snidget 05-01-13 27
       RE: thanks, everyone! cqvenus 05-01-13 28
   RE: thanks, everyone! Estee 05-01-13 29
 RE: my family wants a dog kingfish 05-01-13 30
   RE: my family wants a dog cqvenus 05-01-13 31
 RE: my family wants a dog DearAbby 05-01-13 32

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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 08:52 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: my family wants a dog"
LAST EDITED ON 04-30-13 AT 08:54 AM (EST)

A lot depends on the puppy, and a labeagle may not be the fastest to train. Labs can be high energy and beagles tend to be independent so it really depends on how much effort goes into things from day one. Do you have puppy classes in the area you can make them go to and take the puppy to?

My question. In terms of percentage how much of puppy care will husband do, kid 1, kid 2, kid 3, and kid some of the time?

See, if they will be in total responsible for 150-200% of the care I would let them get the puppy. I hate the over 100% but basically you want each one responsible for enough that they are back ups for each other. so if kid 1 can't feed the puppy on Weds someone other than you is the 1st back up and 2nd back up.

If they expect you to do all the feeding, cleaning up and training I would say no way in heck, you don't need one more responsibility dumped on you.

The problem is putting your foot down when they don't do anything that the puppy must be re-homed. If it is extremely clear up front and maybe even make them find someone who would be the back up home it would go to before it ever gets in the house...but there will be a fuss when the dog goes.

A lot depends on the family dynamics. If they will really be the primary care it likely would be OK. If they are clear we get the fun and Mom is the only one that gets all the work, then NO.

And you know they are getting that puppy anyway, don't you? But if you can mitigate the damage before they just bring it home it may save you some grief later on.

ETA: Time frame. Either right now so a lot of work can be set up and put in place before the baby comes, or when the new baby is old enough to be part of the puppy care in some real way.

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cqvenus 9764 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 09:01 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: my family wants a dog"
thank you.

in theory, they all claim they will take care of it. but my husband woke up early to go to the bathroom the other day, and our almost-2-yr-old was crying in her bed, and he left her there and went back to bed! so i really have no faith in any of them to take care of this thing.

the other 2 kids are 7 and 5. they aren't going to take care of it, no matter what they say.

and since i'm the one who will end up taking care of it, and i'm the one who doesn't want it, i say NO!

a newborn is bad enough to take care of. i imagine a puppy will be much, much worse. and having them both at the same time! omg! i want to cry already.

i'm hoping the lack of husband's motivation to do anything outside of his work-job will delay this long enough that i can then say "sorry, we are having a baby very soon." and that will postpone it until the baby is at least walking. lol

cq
4 kids and grad school. don't need a puppy.

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Max Headroom 10028 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 09:25 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: my family wants a dog"
Not long ago friends of ours made an impulse buy of a cute puppy, and they're now dealing with the aftermath of that decision. With that in mind, I have a few thoughts for you to consider.

Side note: We have a family dog, tastefully named "Max", so I also have personal experience as a dog owner.

My list:
1. If you're getting a purebred dog, try to match the breed's size and temperament to your family. If it's a mixed breed, look at its heritage (if known) to get a rough idea of how the dog will behave as it grows up. Our Max is a funny-looking retriever/terrier mix adopted from a shelter, and we looked at quite a few puppies before choosing him, but his personality and activity level match our family well. High-energy dogs require more exercise and attention, and kid-friendly is a must for you. I'm no expert, but I'd predict a lab/beagle mix would be fairly large and need lots of exercise.

2. Puppies grow up into dogs. Our friends got a cute female Weimaraner puppy, and Belle is rapidly growing into her full size, which they estimate to be somewhere between a rhino and an elephant. Other friends got a cute chocolate Labrador retriever puppy, and Hershey now weighs 120 pounds and is ridden like a horse by their daughter. All puppies start out small, so make sure you consider the final size of the dog.

3. Housebreaking a dog requires patience and lots of time outside, and the best time to teach a dog that skill is when the weather is good as someone will be waiting outside several times a day for the dog to do its business. If puppy time is now, you should be good to go on this one.

4. Dogs are a lot of work, and it's essential to have clear expectations of who will handle which chores. Though it's a good idea in theory to put little kids in charge of feeding the dog or filling the water bowl, you will have a hungry, thirsty dog if there isn't an adult backup. Whenever I go on a business trip, I tease Max and tell him to stuff himself and drink a lot before I leave, as it'll be slim pickings while I'm gone.

5. There is an adjustment period for everyone when you bring a puppy home. The first month with Max was rocky and stressful, but once he was housebroken and understood basic obedience concepts, things got better in a hurry. Expect to have some rough patches soon after the puppy arrives, with the most likely culprit being frequent pooping or peeing inside the house (and sometimes it happens five minutes after you just spent an hour outside watching the dog scratch itself, chase dandelions, and do a zillion other things without relieving itself).

6. Dogs are great pets. Max can be a giant pain in the arse at times, but overall he adds a lot to the family and we'd all miss the oversized rodent if anything happened to him.

Good luck!

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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 10:00 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: my family wants a dog"
Our friends got a cute female Weimaraner puppy, and Belle is rapidly growing into her full size, which they estimate to be somewhere between a rhino and an elephant.

And a reminder that breed standard of "medium" and 50-70 pounds does not mean you won't get one that is over or under sized for it's breed.

Sometimes adopting an adult or near adult dog can make much more sense than a puppy. At least then you get a fairly good idea of temperament, energy level, size, and sometimes you can even find ones that are housebroken.

Check with people that have that breed or at least some of the mix. Some dogs tend to stay at high puppy energy until they are 5 or longer, if they mellow out.


Now with snow!

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 09:52 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: my family wants a dog"
LAST EDITED ON 04-30-13 AT 09:58 AM (EST)

First, congrats on the expected new arrival. And it's nice to hear an update on you.

But sorry CQ, can't back you up there. Families need a family dog. You have a very good environment for a female family Lab. They are pretty much born wanting protect the family, esp. kids, but until she senses danger, she will be a gentle pet with no rough edges that will adore your kids, even the youngest, especially if they are raised together. They can punch her, pull on her ears, jump on her and abuse her in all sorts of ways, and she will love them all the more for it.

It doesnít make too much difference which sex you choose, but I prefer a spayed female, they seem to be a bit more protective and tolerant of youngsters.

It would be nice to teach them sitting, heeling, etc., but these dogs don't really need much instruction, they are hard wired to be fun, playful, and affectionate, and intelligent enough to pick up on your signals. And except for the more peace loving exceptions who are also tolerant of burglars and the like, they are very protective of members of their flock. A moderate to large Lab can raise a ruckus when it gets itís back up, and the transformation they go thru in an instant is pretty startling. They can go from lovable family fireplace doggie to snarling teeth bared intruder intimidator in the blink of an eye.

Normally, trainers donít start dog training until they are about 6 mo or so. They do have to mature slightly, both physically and mentally.

They are also excellent hunting retrievers (although for this all dogs need some training) if you happen to be a bird hunter, and especially excel in waterfowl retrieving. They are so dedicated that hey will break ice on a pond in order to get at a downed duck, and when they return, they will be beside themselves begging to do it again, inspite of their shivers. Dedicated to the max. to their owners.

Be prepared, however, for an event about 14 years down the road that will be one of the very saddest days of you and your family's life, especially the youngest.

Spay, of course.

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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 10:09 AM (EST)
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6. "RE: my family wants a dog"
I agree ideally every family like this would have a great family dog. When it is a family project.

If it is we are buying a dog for Mom to do all the work for, and maybe we will play with it when we feel like it...

That is why I'm of a only if things are well defined in advance and there is a back up plan for when they don't take care of the dog that isn't just drop it off at the shelter.

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 11:17 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: my family wants a dog"
Nothing at all wrong with planning ahead, and it certainly should be it a family project. I think thatís a great idea.

But face it, typically, after things settle out, Mom is going to be the chief doggie chore doer, whatever the preliminary plan is, and whatever rules are laid down, so perhaps Mom should make the final pet acquiring decision. But Moms have soft hearts, and after watching the interaction between the Lab and her kids, she will (Iím guessing) not have a real problem with that.

BTW, some dog breeds (a lot of breeds) are pretty flaky and tend to wander off, but mature Labs will for the most part stick by your side, it seems to be an instinctual thing. You might not even need a leash to walk them (except for legal reasons), they stay right with you. Unless you have a male and he gets a whiff of doggie perfume. Then, well, a doggie can only take so much temptation.

I do disagree that the threat of non-fulfillment of dog chores by kids should result in getting rid of the dog (unless thatís just a threat for the purpose of persuasion?). If you get a dog, you are stuck with it. It should be a responsible decision up front, and unless the dog turns out to have habits or attitudes that are just incompatible with where you live or who you live with, esp. if it is a snapper and you are uncomfortable with its unpredictability around people or other pets, you should understand that it is your dog. For keeps. IMO.

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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 11:26 AM (EST)
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9. "RE: my family wants a dog"
I'm usually of the if you get it, you are stuck with it. Heck one of my friends currently has custody arrangements with her ex for the dog that rival anything people do with their kids.

But I do think the if the family really is committed to them being the dog carers they have to understand Mom isn't the back up if Mom does not want to be the back up. And I'm not big on making threats you aren't going to follow through on. Should there be another family member or friend who would be the home the dog would go to on a permanent basis then it could be viable.

Either that or make sure the kids know that their allowance money (and all future allowance money for as long as it will take to pay it off, as well as having their wages garnished if need be once they are old enough to work) is going to pay for the doggie daycare center, the doggie walker, the doggie clean up person, etc.

If there is no real consequence to the kids (with husband there are usually special not PG-13 threats that can be followed through on) they will care for the dog for a day or a week and then be on to the next thing they want to beg for.

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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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05-01-13, 12:26 PM (EST)
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33. "RE: my family wants a dog"
If you get a dog, you are stuck with it.........you should understand that it is your dog. For keeps.
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 11:13 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: my family wants a dog"
As several circlemates have pets and you're looking for reasons not to do this, I can throw these bits in.

(Note: this post was effectively written by five people. Five people who seem to have been saving this up for a while.)

Having a dog is like being tied to an alarm clock with no OFF button. All you can do is hit snooze. Over and over. For the dog's full lifespan.

Even after housebreaking (or pad training, if you live in an area where walks are unrealistic), the fact remains: the dog will need to use the outdoor facilities at least twice a day and more likely three times. Some breeds may go more often. A cat can be left alone for a few days with adequate food and water: a dog can't. You cannot make trips without scheduling them around the dog's needs, or at least you can't if you don't want to be scrubbing urine out of the carpet for a few hours. Will the dog use the emergency pad? Will it wait by the door for you and then go right there? Well, you could always use a kennel. How much do kennels cost in your area? Do the dogs get to interact? Are they checked for personality problems and transmissible diseases first?

Do you have an enclosed backyard? Then install a pet door and you'll have no trouble. Or rather, you'll have no trouble other than the sudden increase to both your heating and cooling bills because making the things airtight-until-used is a lost cause. And the fact that your backyard is now a minefield which has to be defused regularly if it's going to be used for anything other than a dump depository. By the way, have you ever considered what insects live in your backyard? Because the dog is going to let them in. Most of them will be riding on the skin. By the way, how's the robbery rate in your area? Because now? You have a dog door, and humans can crawl.

Let's get back to insect life. The dog is going to interact with the outside world. A good portion of said world carries ticks and fleas. Meeting other dogs? Possibly getting their ticks and fleas. The parts of the grass where the parasites hide will inevitably be the sections where the dog most wants to go and will in fact actively drag you towards. Ever flea-bomb your home? Because fleas only spend a portion of their time on the dog: the rest of it is used for breeding in your carpets and munching on you. All you need to do is miss one and the cycle continues. And of course, you've spread poison across every surface in the house. No way that could ever go wrong. And that's before we get to ticks. How many diseases are they carrying? How many would you like? Spring, summer, and fall, you are inspecting your dog after each outdoor excursion: all the fur, inside the eyes, on the belly, and guess how much time this takes or how effective it is because fleas and ticks can move. (In winter, you are washing snow off their legs and bodies. And rock salt, which is not kind to leave on the pads.) Of course, you can always use the chemical treatments on your dog, but they don't necessarily kill the intruders: some just keep them from latching on, and they then drop off in the house. And if you wind up with a light-skinned dog, be aware they tend to absorb more of the chemicals -- to the point where some of them die from the poison.

Is it snowing heavily? Time to walk the dog. Is it a hundred and twenty degrees outside? Time to walk the dog. Did an ark just sail by chased by lightning, tornadoes, and a flanking hurricane? Doesn't matter: time to walk the dog. Are you so sick that one more exposure to outside weather will take you out? Guess who else needs to go out? The dog.

Oh, and there's the art and science of picking up the results. You will get this wrong a few times. You will learn to appreciate the ratio of bowel movement size to body mass. You will memorize the location of every biddy in your area. All of them will be dialing the police as soon as you begin strolling by. What have you been feeding the dog? It affect the consistency (rock to liquid), texture, and smell. Especially the consistency. Yes, clean all the brown muck off the grass -- by hand -- or face a $500 fine. Who's giving you the fine? The police. They were just called, remember?

Incidentally, ever seen a lawn which a dog uses regularly? There's something called 'urine burn'. You will have it memorized.

Got a male? He will reach the point in his life where he wants to tackle any female he sees. If there are no females, he may consider substitutes. The standards: if it is there and not resisting to the point of gunfire, it is a substitute. Got a female? Then you're fine except for the two times or so per year where every male in the area is trying to tackle her -- and you, because you're carrying her scent. Oh, and then there's the one thing no one in the pet shop ever bothers to mention: a female dog is a mammal and therefore has a period. Except she doesn't use sanitary napkins or tampons, so until you get used to your dog's cycle, your first indication of trouble time will be the bloodstains all over your floor, carpet, sheets, the laundry pile where she likes to sleep. Of course, little shorts with pad attachment areas are available. And if only your dog wasn't trying to clean the area with her tongue, you'd be okay. You will have no problems finding the shorts. You will find them all over the house. It's amazing how something with no hands can be so dextrous, isn't it?

Of course, you could always have the dog spayed or neutered. Gosh, wouldn't it have made your parents' lives easier if they could have snipped your sex drive into oblivion at the first sign of interest. Time to consult your health insurance -- gee, it doesn't cover pets. In fact, no health insurance covers pets and vet insurance, while out there, is scare, expensive, and about as effective as the human counterpart: not. So you will be paying for the surgery, and the shots, and the emergency visit after your dog eats that foul garbage which was lurking in the grass because your dog will eat any piece of foul stinking garbage it finds, will smuggle it onto the house and hide it for later, might just give it to you as a gift. Didn't you always want a dead pigeon? Well, now you have three.

And who is the dog gifting? Because in any household of more than one human, the dog is probably going to pick an alpha. The dog is not trying to make the others jealous: it will simply have a person whom it designates as head of the pack and will spend a lot of time with that party. Some dogs attach to the point where they weld onto the hip. How does the rest of the family feel about that?

What's the dog's energy level? Does it love to play and keep up with the kids? If so, does it ever stop? Is the dog capable of understanding that you're tired and don't want to play right now? It is? Then you have the one in a million: congrats! The other 999,999 are going to keep insisting you drop whatever you're doing. Can the dog keep itself entertained when you're all out of the house? Does that idea of entertainment include not clawing the furniture and rebounding around the house like a pinball with a death grudge? Is the dog low-key and laid back? Will the kids understand that and let the poor thing sleep? How about dogs who like to play around three in the morning? Did you buy a squeaky toy? Well, now it's squeaking. By the way, if you have a female and she's in her cycle, those toys can become her babies. Go ahead, take the toy. Try it.

How protective is your dog? It will try to alert you to outside events. Someone at the door? Intruder! Someone in the driveway? Sidewalk outside? Other dogs in scent range? Bird flying overhead? TV was turned on and strange two-dimensional figures are threatening to break in? Intruders! Bark! Bark until the danger is removed! No matter what the hour, no matter what caused the noise, no matter that the branch knocking against the window due to wind means you no harm. Bark as if everyone's lives depend on it! And do not stop, because you are doing nothing wrong! Do not understand being chided for it, because you did nothing wrong and must do it again the next time! And there will be a next time... in about ten seconds.

How does the dog feel about other people and canines? Does it consider the entire planet to be a friend, jumping up on legs to be petted? Not everyone you meet will be fond of this. Is only the immediate family part of the pack with everyone else an intruder to be growled at and snapped away? This won't go over well either. Does your dog fight back when aggressive dogs go after it or just stand there and stare in confusion? Will it chase cats? Rabbits? Squirrels? Leaves? Blowing plastic bags? Cars, trucks, motorcycles? Shadows from passing airplanes?

Did you get a breed which sheds? It will. You will accumulate five pounds of annual fur for each pound of dog. You will wear out lint brushes as if they were tires and your body was a NASCAR track. Did you get a no-shed breed? Toss six hundred dollars or more in annual grooming feeds into your budget. Or you could just learn to groom the dog yourself, as you'll be washing it every week or so anyway. Good luck with that. By the way, were you going to need that bathroom again any time soon? Say, the next week?

Harness or collar? Well, this one's easy, at least: you want the harness because collars can cause neck and spine injuries. Now let's accessorize. Some dogs take weather conditions better than others. And some need jackets. Sweaters. Raincoats. All of which are ludicrously ineffective because they cover the front legs and rib cage plus the back up to the tail, leaving everything else exposed. Booties? Total lack of traction can only help. Does your dog like to be dressed up? Can you find the sweater? Hint: somewhere near the shorts.

Where does the dog sleep? The dog bed? Wrong. The dog will sleep where the dog decides it wants to sleep, and it will scratch at the door and cry until it gets to its self-assigned place. (Which it may also do at the sight of any closed door if it wants to be on the other side. Say, the bathroom.) Perhaps the dog wishes to be with you at night. Right in the middle of the bed. Between you and your spouse. Well, there went the sex life, because either you learn to work with a spectator (who may take the activity as a threat to you which must be stopped) or deal with the scratching at the door. And whining. Oh, so much whining.

Did you get a purebred? Have you just been set back a few thousand dollars for the guarantee of hip problems down the road along with keeping a puppy mill in business? How about a shelter dog? Say, why was that dog brought in originally? Because some were homeless and others were abandoned and a few were just found, but there's always that one who got here because it destroyed everything it touched and now? It is licking your face and you can't see the 'By the way, where do you keep your breakables?' tail going.

I could go on, but I'm getting tired of transcribing it.

And this? Is from people who either have dogs or have extensively dated those who do. And claim to love them. Both the SOs and the dogs.

Mostly.


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 11:40 AM (EST)
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10. "RE: my family wants a dog"
That's a pretty comprehensive list of things to think about.

But, get a female Lab, get it spayed, don't live in an overly pet regulated area and 3/4 of those problems go away. A still formidable list remains, but the situation will be a bit more manageable, at least. And no matter how cute a little tiny dog breed is, especially as a puppy, it will inevitably grow into a needle toothed Yap Yap (and your snooze-buttonless alarm) and it will need constant attention or it will eat your slippers in revenge.

Do a little research on flea and tick control. That is not an area you want to ignore. For dogs or cats. Or Opossums. Or relatives.

Recommendation: Try very hard to resist getting a Yap Yap. They do fit the apartment lifestyle, but unless you live in an apartment or a condo, and just can't house a larger dog, they are (IMO) a bad choice. I'd get a cat in those circumstances.

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 12:52 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: my family wants a dog"
Y'do realize you've crossed the line from Labrador endorsement to Labrador pimping, right?

Here, have this ridiculously wide-brimmed hat with a giant feather in it. You're going to need it.

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 02:08 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: my family wants a dog"
Cool. Fish-Pimp! Think PETA will let me wear the feather?

I think you helped me discover my inner-self.

And I guess you could tell I've had Labs, and have been the fun-uncle to others. And still grieve over the loss of one sweet bravehearted chocolate Lab in particular. Old age, but still...

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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 02:25 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: my family wants a dog"
I might be more likely to pimp a Golden Retriever comparing the Labdini that lived next door.

So far the Golden is a lot calmer. Seems to understand I own my yard and if I'm OK with someone there she's OK with someone there. So much nicer to get a repair to the house when the dog isn't barking like mad.

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 02:36 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: my family wants a dog"
Thanks for the reminder (and glad to hear your doggie-next -door situation is better).

One additional rule:
- Stay away from Snidget's Labdini. Basically, stay away from any dog with a nickname that includes any part of Houdini's name. Not the best of signs.

- (yeah, I know, I can't count) Stay away from any dog breed that's a cutsey mix of two other breeds. Esp. anything with "-a-doddle" in it. I don't know exactly why, but it just seems very wrong.

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thndrkttn 3216 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 01:35 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: my family wants a dog"
If you are not on board and the responsibilities are going to fall on iffy shoulders, DO NOT GET A PUPPY. OMG, do not get a puppy.

Let me ask you one simple question. A puppy needs to go out their age in months plus 1 in hours. Puppy is three months old? It needs to go out a minimum of every four hours. That means that someone has to get up in the middle of the night, EVERY NIGHT. Rain, sleet snow, whatever. When Thea was little, she had to go out every three hours. That meant twice in the middle of the night. And how are you going to feel when the puppy decides to start barking and wakes a 'finally sleeping' infant? The amount of noise Thea made for the first three months at night was almost unbearable.

She is an absolutely wonderful companion now, but she was our entire focus (no dogs and no children) for the first four months we had her. You've got a whole brood to contend with and I don't think you have the time nor the desire to train a dog to make it a good addition to the family. You'll end up resenting the dog (and possibly your family for convincing you to get one in the first place) and it will end up back where it came from.

Can you start with something small, like a guinea pig or hampster so you can see how they would be with taking care of a pet?

Good luck!

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zombiebaby 7355 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 01:48 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: my family wants a dog"
LAST EDITED ON 04-30-13 AT 01:54 PM (EST)

LAST EDITED ON 04-30-13 AT 01:53†PM (EST)

As someone with 4 kids and a new dog adopted 6 months ago I say go for it.

However please think about rescuing a dog. You save that dog and another who will take it's place. Think less about sex of dog and focus on temperament and maintenance (grooming and food).

We were set on a female dog since our last 2 were but fell in love with our boy because of the way he interacted with all of our kids, especially the 2 year old. He was 8 months old when we got him, the rescue place had neutered him already and vetted him. He was fully housebroken and luckily not much of a chewer. He did get my 6 year old's Ugg boot though but she learned to put her stuff away!

Our last 2 were Border Collie's and fantastic. They required a lot of trips to the groomer. Current dog is a lab/husky mix and just needs an occasional brushing which my girls love to give him. He follows all of them around and loves them. They all take turns putting his water and food down so he knows they all are "above" him in the pecking order.

Downside is that vacations require finding someone to care for him. We have a fenced in yard so yes our lawn is burned. You can train them to go inevents . one spot in the yard. It has raised all of my kids awareness of shelter dogs and we are thinking of fostering dogs soon. You keep the dog and take it to adoption events and are then able to give prospective families info on how the dog behaves with kids and other animals. Try to find a rescue group that does this so you will know more about the dog before bringing him home!

The rescue group we used rescues dogs from down south where there are so many dogs waiting in high kill shelters. They are all highly adoptable, meaning healthy, even temperament dogs who just need a home to love them!

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moonbaby 17013 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 02:02 PM (EST)
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14. "A key question"
Who will pick up the poop? I have witnessed some serious arguments over this very thing.

The poop. No laughing matter.

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Max Headroom 10028 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 03:22 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: A key question"
Agreed, one corner of our yard is a minefield. Walk there at your own risk.
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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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05-02-13, 06:02 PM (EST)
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35. "RE: A key question"
sounds like my yard!


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bondt007 3358 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 03:19 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: my family wants a dog"
I'm with you. Don't. Go visit people with dogs. Get a gold fish.



>Issued by "Q" and RollDdice

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 03:22 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: my family wants a dog"
I knew you were one of those gold standard throwbacks!
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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 04:28 PM (EST)
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21. "Congrats!"
not on the puppy battle issue;
on the baby!

Stick to your guns! Too many people get puppies that they find too much to handle then take them to the animal shelters where they are not sheltered; they are destroyed. (~~gets off soapbox~~)

Suggestion (I haven't read the others yet):
Find a shelter that needs someone to foster a dog - I suggest an adult - not a puppy. The workers at the shelter will know if the dog gets along well with others and with kids.
By fostering, you can find out just how much work a dog is; and if the kids and dad get tired of it real quick.
If it doesn't work out, you end your foster time.
If it turns out great? you adopt it yourself.


Agman brightens my life May 2012

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CSHS79 862 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 04:32 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: my family wants a dog"
Questiono the children pick up after themselves? Does your husband pick up after himself? Or do you keep the house clean? Or if any of them do anything around the house is it on their own or at your prodding?
The best test of whether or not they will do their part in caring for the dog will be if you stop picking up after them. Then if they ask where something is, ask where did they leave it. It will be your best argument in your favor because if they can't pick up after themselves they will never care for a dog.
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Silvergirl1 9320 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 05:48 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: my family wants a dog"

Here's where you get to make an executive decision as reigning Queen of the house. Just say no to the dog. Your family is not ready for it. Try talking them into a smaller pet with less stress on you, because you know you will ultimately be the one taking care of it. Like Tkit said above, a hamster would be a lot easier and if you can put it in the children's room, then it would be totally their responsibility. You can also let them know that if they don't take care of it properly, there will be no more pets in their future. Heck, it could even be a goldfish that they have to feed carefully one a day and clean his bowl once a week just to help them learn pet responsibility. Yes, dogs are fun, but they are a lot of work, and it's almost like having another child around.

How about a cat? Those are easier to take care of, and I know they do require feeding and cleaning up after, but they are not in your face all the time needing to go out. I can't assess your situation at home. Only you can do that, and take the previous comments and concerns to your family, explaining why you cannot do this right now.

So, again - JUST SAY NO. At least this time. You are the Queen!



Snow globe sig and starfish globe by Agman 2011

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cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-13, 08:38 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: my family wants a dog"
Try talking them into a smaller pet with less stress on you, ...

A kitten is more independent than a pup.


Patch's blooms

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Puffy 6571 desperate attention whore postings
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05-01-13, 01:35 AM (EST)
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25. "RE: my family wants a dog"
GET.A.CAT.
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Molaholic 8451 desperate attention whore postings
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05-01-13, 01:09 PM (EST)
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34. "RE: my family wants a dog"
GET.A.CAT.


word

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cqvenus 9764 desperate attention whore postings
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05-01-13, 08:11 AM (EST)
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26. "thanks, everyone!"

thank you all for your replies.

i've talked to the husband about it... i'm all for adult dog rescue, but he wants it "fresh off the teat" so he can raise it himself.

it seems to me that if a puppy is so annoying (read: wakes me up all night), i might as well get it when i have a newborn. IF we get a puppy ever, that is.

i don't think i can push this off forever. my husband grew up with dogs his whole life and loves lab mixes and thinks a family needs a dog.

i come from a household which never had a dog. i don't even really *get* the whole dog thing. he says "you will." part of me thinks allowing non-human animals to cohabitate with your humans is just wrong. part of me thinks my kids will love having a dog-friend... ugh.

estee your post is everything i have told them in my quest for NO. i even cried (thank you pregnancy hormones) and told them i just don't want one. it worked. for a day or two. then we were discussing it again.

we had decided on lab/beagle. i tried to get him to go for the labradoodle (bc it's hypoallergenic, and i have seasonal allergies so i'm worried that i might be allergic. and i don't believe once you get a dog you should ever consider sending it back....unless i'm allergic to it. sorry, dog, i'm not going to medicate myself twice daily just to live with you.) also the shedding. but my husband said he doesn't want a "foofy," and the labradoodle was "an overgrown foofy." which it was. so, there goes that.

we live in a house on a ton of land. yard not fenced. my grandparents had a lab and he was the greatest dog ever. but he was HUGE and super hairy and sheddy.

i think for now i've managed to get everyone to agree that we need to wait. by everyone i mean my husband. the kids still want a dog yesterday.

vacations: everywhere we go, a dog would be welcome. so although i tried to use this as an excuse, it's not a good one for our family. we go camping or we go visit relatives, and they're all VERY dog-friendly people. *sigh* ;)

i was thinking how can i handle a puppy and a baby at the same time, but t-kitten's post makes me feel like i might as well get all the sh!ttiness over with at once! if i'm gonna be up all night with a newborn, when it finally sleeps all night, i then have to start over with a puppy? and by then it will be winter??? so now i'm thinking we have to hurry up and get this dog now, or probably wait until all the kids are older and really WILL help.

my biggest gripe against the dog is having to get up with it in the morning. the worst part about being a mom, for me, has been having to get up early. i am a sleeper. i adore sleep. i miss it. i have to get the kids up at 6:30 and, seriously, every morning when my alarm goes off, my first feeling is to suppress the tears. i absolutely sleep in on weekends. i feel like getting a dog is signing up for 15+ years of never sleeping in ever, ever again. and that thought alone makes me so sad! everything else about it i am fine with. accidents in the house, whatever. none of it truly bothers me except the sleep!!!

cq

having grown up a non-dog family, i don't think i'll ever be "ready" til the dog just lives here already

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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
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05-01-13, 09:11 AM (EST)
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27. "RE: thanks, everyone!"
Maybe you'll be able to get the dog to sleep with the kids and it will wake up whoever is closest rather than come to you.
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cqvenus 9764 desperate attention whore postings
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05-01-13, 09:13 AM (EST)
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28. "RE: thanks, everyone!"
ha! good plan. but the kids would just bring it down and wake us up to let it out! we keep the door deadbolted at night. they can't reach.

cq

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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05-01-13, 09:22 AM (EST)
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29. "RE: thanks, everyone!"
While Hubbie's first commitment should be I Will Walk The Dog I Wanted So Much Regardless Of The Hour And Thank You For Not Killing Me, you're probably going to wind up handing him the spinebreaker first. He gets to fence off some to all of your property. At the very least, you're going to want an enclosed dog run. I can't speak to electronic fences (city: no one uses them), but installing a physical one is going to take a while.

Of course, if he installs the fence before the dog shows up, he will expect a reward. Possibly a second dog.

Toss him a treat and scratch his stomach. I'm told it does wonders.

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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05-01-13, 10:25 AM (EST)
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30. "RE: my family wants a dog"
I know how to solve this problem. I know just what your Hubbie needs to do.

But I need his email address. I can tell him how to end this discussion.

BTW, (back to Lab pimping) I've raised a number of dogs (mostly Labs, but also a couple of English Setters - Nutso dogs. Loveable as all get out, heart stealers to the max, but crazy as loons - and border collies - my second recommendation, so intelligent, you would come to think of them as smarter than your kids. And maybe your husband. Heck, they can probably do algebra), and I have yet to lose a minute of sleep due to a Lab puppy's interference. Iím sure some people have, but you donít have to let that happen. All puppies are goofy, selfish, and untrained, but there are ways to deal with all that (and that goofiness will win your cold, cold heart) until you can get it acclimated and trained in the basics. One month? Two months?

Such good companion dogs for all ages. Suburban areas are OK, but rural areas are best (you don't have to walk them, just let them out), but I've seen people in urban areas walking them around. With scoops.

They are short hair dogs (I think your Grandpaís dog had to have been some sort of mix), a Labrador retriever is a short hair dog - I've never heard of a long hair Lab unless it was a collie (or something)/lab mix - so they aren't as prone to activate allergies as long hair dogs (and cats) are.

I do sympathize with your allergy/pet problem though, in the household in which I grew up mom had Siamese cats (yeah, the real yowlers - they were nightmares, emphasis on 'night') and my childhood (until I discovered Benadryl) had a basically unending nose dripping wheezy sneezy theme.

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cqvenus 9764 desperate attention whore postings
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05-01-13, 10:59 AM (EST)
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31. "RE: my family wants a dog"

my grandparents' dog was black lab/german shepherd. but it looked just like a giant shaggy lab.

we are in a fairly rural area. i don't want a fence. ever.

cq

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DearAbby 2959 desperate attention whore postings
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05-01-13, 11:05 AM (EST)
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32. "RE: my family wants a dog"
Sounds like you're going to take the plunge! Here are some tips on introducing a new furbaby to the family.

http://home.arlboston.org/2013/02/28/welcoming-your-adopted-dog-into-your-home/

The reason a dog makes so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.

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