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"In a lot of places, this would be seen as a reasonable result."
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

03-11-13, 07:03 AM (EST)
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"In a lot of places, this would be seen as a reasonable result."
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/ban_jury_jews_4MDwYpHWIDfZenMuauPQzI

10. Additionally, in order to improve his odds, he's asking for a change in venue to Mississippi.

9. 'No women either. The weak female mind cannot possibly comprehend the significance of my client's actions.'

8. In a completely unrelated story, several hundred name change applications were just filed in Manhattan.

7. But who could better explain the existence of the Zionist conspiracy to the rest of the pool than one of its members? You have to think long-term!

6. 'Your honor, my client has requested trial under sharia law. Will there be any problems with that?'

5. Also, no Jews among the court offices, clerks, agents who arrested him, anyone who touches his paperwork, those who handle his food -- in fact, just clear out a fifty-mile radius around his cell. For safety.

4. 'And their holy book book forbids them from judging lest they be judged, so no Christians either.'

3. Only his deity can judge him. And so he is going to wait very patiently until his deity shows up in black robes and grabs a gavel.

2. Are you sure you don't have a missing E hidden somewhere, Mr. Cohen?

1. And while we're at it, since he's supposed to have a jury of his peers, he'd like to get twelve convicted terrorists in the jury box. Surely they have nothing else to do with their time.

Turns out this is a pretty common request from al-Qaeda members who reach trial. Wonder why.

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: In a lot of places, this would ... kingfish 03-11-13 1
   RE: In a lot of places, this would ... Estee 03-11-13 2
       RE: In a lot of places, this would ... kingfish 03-11-13 3
           RE: In a lot of places, this would ... Estee 03-11-13 5
 RE: In a lot of places, this would ... kidflash212 03-11-13 4
 RE: In a lot of places, this would ... foonermints 03-11-13 6
 RE: In a lot of places, this would ... Molaholic 03-11-13 7
 RE: In a lot of places, this would ... kingfish 03-12-13 8

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-11-13, 10:48 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: In a lot of places, this would be seen as a reasonable result."
All circumcised males would definitely be disqualified.

Just show the judge your peter, and no jury duty for you.

There may be a run on adult circumcisions for those who have no civic responsibility.

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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03-11-13, 12:29 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: In a lot of places, this would be seen as a reasonable result."
Female circumcisions, however, are the stuff of nightmare and not to be joked about.

Honestly, his idiot of an attorney could have done most of this on relative stealth. Unless New York's changed the rules beyond what even Mayor Michael 'I also required you to state your exact financial value' Bloomberg could immediately inflict, the defense still gets their automatic challenges. All he had to do was dismiss every juror with a Judaic last name (and first name, if he had a few left) and hope to get lucky with the replacements. The Jewish population of NYC may be a lot higher than many places (for example, Mississippi), but it's nowhere near one hundred percent. The odds of running out of people to dismiss before running out of challenges are pretty good. Sure, it doesn't protect you from converts or those whose names no longer directly reflect their heritage, but at least it's something, right?

Easy to see where his line of juror questioning will go. 'Would you be available on Fridays after sunset? Saturday until sundown? Have some of my bacon sandwich?' Of course, then all the Reform people slip through.

*shakes head*

At least he's assured of (insert name of your favorite GOP pundit here)'s support.

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-11-13, 12:40 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: In a lot of places, this would be seen as a reasonable result."
The prosecution could (and very well may) use those same questions slightly revised to exclude Muslims.

Adult male circumcisions are only slightly more jocular. But I know what you're thinking of, and you're right.

I personally don't think much of infant circumcision either.

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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03-11-13, 01:16 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: In a lot of places, this would be seen as a reasonable result."
The prosecution could (and very well may) use those same questions slightly revised to exclude Muslims.

Oh, absolutely. Both sides will try to rig the jury: the defense is just being a lot louder about it. And the automatic challenges mean you can get rid of anyone without having to explain why. 'I didn't like their last name' will not be spoken -- by either side.

(My one-year jury duty conclusion anniversary is coming up, and one of the bigger shocks was when the challenges stopped and I was still in the bloody seat. I kept waiting to be challenged out -- and waiting -- and waiting... and then it was too late.)

I've heard of trials where one or both sides brought in jury advisers who would look for subtle keep/dump signs during questioning.

They can guarantee a 50% success rate.

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kidflash212 3854 desperate attention whore postings
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03-11-13, 12:54 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: In a lot of places, this would be seen as a reasonable result."
This atheist thinks he's guilty.
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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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03-11-13, 01:27 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: In a lot of places, this would be seen as a reasonable result."
Equality seems so unequal, now that you mention it.

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Molaholic 8451 desperate attention whore postings
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03-11-13, 07:21 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: In a lot of places, this would be seen as a reasonable result."
"A jury of his peers..."

I must wonder just where they'll find 12 (plus alternates) walking, talking anuses (ani?) with six-months to a year of time to sit around listening to the stuff that comes out of said male bovine digestive-tract termini.

But then, this is a better system then some folks have...

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-12-13, 08:33 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: In a lot of places, this would be seen as a reasonable result."
I have to say that New York has to be the worst place in the world (from an accused terrorist's point of view) to have to go on trial for terroristic related offenses.

I think most juries there will start off with the mind set to "Hang-em High", then see what evidence is presented.

JMHO.

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