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Estee 52644 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-14-12, 01:04 PM (EST) "You know your insomnia's gone too far when..." ...while scanning a menu, your brain interprets 'Chicken Parm' as 'Chicken Porn'. ...you then spend the next fifteen minutes drawing up plans for the filming, marketing, and distribution of chicken porn, convinced you've found the next great untapped market, all based on the horrible graphic showing a hen in a bikini which the restaurant has taken as a mascot for reasons known only to bestiality research committees. ...an additional three minutes are spent trying to find out why your spellchecker already knew 'bestiality'. ...you now understand the balk rule, but can't explain it to anyone else. ...the comedic subtleties of Happy Gilmore make you want to cry. Which you also can't explain to anyone else. ...it took you twenty minutes to make a police officer understand that you were not sleeping in your car, you were only desperately trying to sleep in your car. ...the TruTV night lineup is the most fascinating option on the remote. ...you accidentally swapped out baking soda and baking powder in a cookie recipe and wound up with a single cookie one pan wide and three millimeters high. ...you still ate it. ...you just heard the name of the CBS sideline reporter as 'Spruced Aryans' and liked it so much, you're not even trying to find out the real one. Also, you now want to start a band. ...the central appeal of going for a one-night stand is the potential to try out a different bed. ...the only activity you had left where you could keep a consistent train of thought was sex. ...and now that stopped working. About two days to go.   Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: You know your insomnia's gone t... foonermints 10-14-12 1  RE: You know your insomnia's gone t... Snidget 10-14-12 2  RE: You know your insomnia's gone t... kingfish 10-14-12 3    Kingfish.. foonermints 10-14-12 4        RE: Kingfish.. kingfish 10-14-12 6        RE: Kingfish.. VisionQuest 10-14-12 10  Don't check cakewrecks Snidget 10-14-12 5  RE: You know your insomnia's gone t... Starshine 10-14-12 7  RE: You know your insomnia's gone t... kidflash212 10-14-12 8    RE: You know your insomnia's gone t... Estee 10-14-12 9  RE: You know your insomnia's gone t... VisionQuest 10-14-12 11    RE: You know your insomnia's gone t... Snidget 10-14-12 12        RE: You know your insomnia's gone t... VisionQuest 10-14-12 13            RE: You know your insomnia's gone t... kidflash212 10-15-12 18                I Enjoyed foonermints 10-15-12 20        RE: You know your insomnia's gone t... kingfish 10-15-12 21  RE: You know your insomnia's gone t... cahaya 10-14-12 14  RE: You know your insomnia's gone t... kidflash212 10-15-12 15    RE: You know your insomnia's gone t... newsomewayne 10-15-12 17  RE: You know your insomnia's gone t... Estee 10-15-12 16  RE: You know your insomnia's gone t... Max Headroom 10-15-12 19

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foonermints 11316 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-14-12, 02:15 PM (EST) 1. "RE: You know your insomnia's gone too far when..." Sorry for your loss.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Snidget 41916 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-14-12, 02:32 PM (EST) 2. "RE: You know your insomnia's gone too far when..." *googles* No results found for "spruced aryans". Congratulations, you win an internet! I'll give you the advice my doctor gave me when I had itching so bad I hadn't slept in days or weeks, it all kind of runs together after awhile. No one needs sleep. If you just lay still for 6-8 hours that is just as effective. ...try to figure out why the car behind you is honking because everyone know that you can't enter the intersection until the stop sign turns green. Yes, I planned his death, but 5 days later when the plan finally came together I didn't know where he was, and was too tired to try to find him.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kingfish 14647 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-14-12, 03:02 PM (EST) 3. "RE: You know your insomnia's gone too far when..." 1. Get out that dog collar (don't deny it, we all know you have one), put it on, tie the leash to your bed frame, and take an Ambien. If after 30 min still no sleep, take a second. The advice to take the second presupposes that being dead and unrevivable for about half a day won't cause you hardship. 2. Don't worry about your thoughts concerning bestiality unless the sheep you're counting are shorn (oddly, my spell check also has bestiality but does not have shorn - insight into the Google spellcheck editing staff?), are naked, have exaggerated sexual features, a cute topknot bow, and are giving you that come hither look as they jump (Do not ask how come I'm familiar with these details). 3. And the cooking deal, don't worry unless the cookie ended up being exactly the size and shape of your oven, and you still ate it. 4. If the central idea of a one nighter is the different bed and not the sex, try imagining that it will be a video taped deal that will be posted on whatever feed goes to sports arena diamond vision screens everywhere. If that doesn't work, you might think about giving up the heroin.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

foonermints 11316 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-14-12, 03:23 PM (EST) 4. "Kingfish.." Too much knowledge.. too little chicken porn.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kingfish 14647 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-14-12, 05:33 PM (EST) 6. "RE: Kingfish.." Ummm...chicken porn. Those meaty little drumsticks...ummm.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

VisionQuest 1087 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 10-14-12, 07:40 PM (EST) 10. "RE: Kingfish.." Please post a NSTRWD warning before a post like this. Not safe to read while drinking.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Snidget 41916 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-14-12, 04:17 PM (EST) 5. "Don't check cakewrecks" I don't know how your insomnia would handle the Hello Kitty Cthulu cake on today's Sunday Sweets.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Starshine 4627 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Stuff Magazine Centerfold" 10-14-12, 06:08 PM (EST) 7. "RE: You know your insomnia's gone too far when..." When I'm up at 3am I like to watch the news on subtitles. It makes less sense than Spruced Aryans but is always entertaining. The daytime subtitlers are a lot better at getting most of the words right, but can still be entertaining.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kidflash212 3203 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 10-14-12, 06:13 PM (EST) 8. "RE: You know your insomnia's gone too far when..." Who knew Estee went to Yale?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Estee 52644 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-14-12, 06:48 PM (EST) 9. "RE: You know your insomnia's gone too far when..." Are you calling me an intellstriptual pornletist?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

VisionQuest 1087 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 10-14-12, 07:42 PM (EST) 11. "RE: You know your insomnia's gone too far when..." Try reading "My Antonia" It's a classic, they said. You'll love it, they added.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Snidget 41916 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-14-12, 08:03 PM (EST) 12. "RE: You know your insomnia's gone too far when..." *flashbacks* The sophomore reading list is too heavy, too dark, this will lighten it up, the school board decided. Yes, it was added to have something added to lighten up our "too dark" reading list that year. I don't know why they needed My Antonia to lighten this list up? Lord of the Flies Brave New World Animal Farm 1984 A Separate Peace Merchant of Venice   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

VisionQuest 1087 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 10-14-12, 08:16 PM (EST) 13. "RE: You know your insomnia's gone too far when..." I am 42 years old, I love to read, yet I have never read Lord of the Flies. Never even picked it up.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kidflash212 3203 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 10-15-12, 08:43 AM (EST) 18. "RE: You know your insomnia's gone too far when..." It was required for an English class in my High School. Not one of my favorites.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

foonermints 11316 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-15-12, 02:07 PM (EST) 20. "I Enjoyed" The Merchant of Venice but I like Shakespeare anyway. For the rest of that reading list, they may as well substitute it for Dean Koontz. At least you could get a nightmare or two.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kingfish 14647 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-15-12, 06:00 PM (EST) 21. "RE: You know your insomnia's gone too far when..." If my memory serves, Lord of the Flies - a story about politics, the dark side of human nature, and fratricide among a group of isolated boys. Brave New World - A story about politics, socialism, conditioned behaviors turning people into automatons, and the darkest side of human nature. Animal Farm - A dark allegory about politics, socialism, conditioned behaviors turning people into automatons, and the darkest side of human nature 1984 - Orwellian allegory about politics, dictatorships, socialism, conditioned behaviors turning people into automatons, and the darkest side of human nature. I think your teacher was trying to tell you something. And needed counseling. Glad you survived. I hope I did.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

cahaya 17868 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-14-12, 08:34 PM (EST) 14. "RE: You know your insomnia's gone too far when..." Sorry, we're out of breasts and thighs, but we can wing it! Marching to your own drumsticks, are you?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kidflash212 3203 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 10-15-12, 07:48 AM (EST) 15. "RE: You know your insomnia's gone too far when..." You design a urinal that looks like this...   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

newsomewayne 8987 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-15-12, 08:09 AM (EST) 17. "RE: You know your insomnia's gone too far when..." ...and place it where your backside is entrusted to the control and aim of a man just like you.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Estee 52644 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-15-12, 08:07 AM (EST) 16. "RE: You know your insomnia's gone too far when..." Last night, I learned my body cannot handle Coke Zero. I don't drink diet soda: I have the regular stuff and exercise. But I had a coupon for a free bottle and was at the haven't-shopped point where it was the only real caffeine in the apartment, barring some tea I've been avoiding for eight months. So I tried it out. The taste wasn't bad -- more RC than Coke, really. But there are no calories -- and there's still caffeine. Which means I just gave my body a jolt and made it say 'Okay, we're pretending to be awake! Let's burn some fuel!' while giving it no fuel to burn. Result: increased exhaustion -- but gee, was I ever alert and aware of it.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Max Headroom 9796 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-15-12, 01:39 PM (EST) 19. "RE: You know your insomnia's gone too far when..." At least you no longer have to stay up late worrying about the NFL loser pool.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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