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"Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
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Seana 5044 desperate attention whore postings
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10-09-06, 00:48 AM (EST)
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"Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Welcome to Soi Sim Island! What an episode! I laughed so much at all of your expense:

Rob's ugly Americanism ("I'm done talking to foreingers."), Rob and Kimberly's duelling hissy fits, Peter's whining, Mary and David's bickering, everyone sucking at boat rowing, everyone hitting the rocks at the Detour... Gold, I tell you.

Rob and Kimberly, you are Team Number One! We're gving you both jet skis, because we know how much you both want to go out on the water together again.

Peter and Sarah, second place for you. Sarah really sucked it up. Peter, I notice you really didn't like Sarah's encouragement. How odd. Perhaps if she talked to you like a stupid puppy you'd be more appreciative of her efforts?

Tyler and James, you're a solid team. You say "dude" a lot.

Erwin and Godwin: So the first place finish was a fluke?

David and Mary: Are you surprised to be team #5?

Lyn and Karlyn, we know that you have kids. For crying out loud, you don't have to mention them with every other breath. Oh, and how long did you spend looking for the "Hydroform Tavern"?

Dustin and Kandice, you're making a reputation as line-cutters. Karlyn may start hating on you more than Sarah. She already noted how you desrved the cut you got on your leg. You guys are going to have to take better care of your clues.



Administrative Notes:

Please keep the game in the game thread or Bebo will come and kick your butt. You know she will.

New players are welcome! All the Racers, as well as The Native Greeter, Phil's Golf Equipment, Phil's Turtleneck and Sarah's Leg have been spoken for.

Anyone may post as a camera or sound person (see sign-up thread for sigs, if you like), one of the boat drivers, the oysters or whatever. Be creative!

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 dabo 10-09-06 1
   RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 Seana 10-09-06 4
       RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 dabo 10-09-06 8
 RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 DeltaPin 10-09-06 2
   RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 Max Headroom 10-09-06 3
       RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 dabo 10-10-06 15
       RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 DeltaPin 10-11-06 24
       RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 Cyndimaus 10-11-06 26
 RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 CattyChat 10-09-06 5
   RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 Denalio 10-09-06 11
       RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 dabo 10-10-06 16
           RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 Denalio 10-10-06 22
               RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 dabo 10-11-06 23
                   RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 warp_core breach 10-11-06 28
                       RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 Denalio 10-12-06 29
 RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 dragonflies 10-09-06 6
   RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 CwazyWabbit 10-09-06 10
 RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 Peetah 10-09-06 7
 RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 CwazyWabbit 10-09-06 9
   RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 dragonflies 10-12-06 30
 RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 Molaholic 10-09-06 12
   RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 sporkman 10-12-06 33
 RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 Denalio 10-09-06 13
   RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 warp_core breach 10-10-06 20
 RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 cahaya 10-09-06 14
   RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 tvgeek401 10-10-06 19
       RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 Max Headroom 10-11-06 25
 RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 mrc 10-10-06 17
 RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 pinksparkleguitar 10-10-06 18
 RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 CouchTater 10-10-06 21
 RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 Cyndimaus 10-11-06 27
   RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 Sahara 10-12-06 34
       RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 Cyndimaus 10-13-06 37
 RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 byoffer 10-12-06 31
   RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 Cyndimaus 10-12-06 32
 RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 beau_30 10-12-06 35
   RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 beau_30 10-13-06 36
   RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 Seana 10-13-06 38
       RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4 bystander 10-14-06 39

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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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10-09-06, 02:45 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Yo, Tom and Terry, it could be worse! If it had been a nonelim leg and then next week we'd have had to suffer through watching you guys beg for Vietnamese dong... badumpbump!

Anyway, way to pull the boat, whichever one of you that was, that was really impressive. Okay, I'm kidding, it really was just desperate, but it was way impressive too. No, really! I mean, who knows what might have been in that water, maybe even turtles, who knows.

Turtles scare me. And paddles. I can't believe neither of you knew how to use paddles.


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Seana 5044 desperate attention whore postings
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10-09-06, 11:04 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
I've been meaning to ask... I don't watch Survivor. Who's the monkey?
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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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10-09-06, 12:44 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Magilla lived near the cave camp in Survivor: Thailand. His hobbies included:

Taunting silly humans.
Swiping food.
Random acts of vandalism.

He was the perfect basher.


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DeltaPin 55 desperate attention whore postings
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10-09-06, 09:53 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Dustin & Kandice - Do you need a refresher course on how to open the clue envelope?

Peter & Sarah - For tri-athletes you sure do complain when the tasks are the least bit physical.

Rob - Maybe you should try talking slower. Doesn't that always work when you're talking to foreigners?

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Max Headroom 10028 desperate attention whore postings
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10-09-06, 10:09 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Don't forget to talk LOUDER too. We foreigners understand English better when it's shouted at us.


Got to drive a cool boat this episode!

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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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10-10-06, 00:10 AM (EST)
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15. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
AA-AND EEE-NUNSSS-EEE-ATE!!!


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DeltaPin 55 desperate attention whore postings
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10-11-06, 00:39 AM (EST)
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24. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
THANKS, I FORGOT ABOUT THAT!
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Cyndimaus 3117 desperate attention whore postings
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10-11-06, 11:18 AM (EST)
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26. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Mr. Taxi Driver, why was your face blurred so often this time around? Embarrassed to be around us Americans? What gives?

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CattyChat 3379 desperate attention whore postings
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10-09-06, 11:17 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Somebody needs to remind me WHY I have Peter as my partner in this race! I might as well do it all myself, since Peter just sits back drinking a Coke while I do all the most physical tasks!

Poor little Peter doesn't like encouragement?!? Interesting, especially when I am not the one talking down to him as encouragement. My list is really getting long of what I don't like about this guy.

I can't believe Peter had a tantrum trying to pull up little oyster baskets. It's not like it's pulling yourself up the rocky face of a 100-foot cliff or something.

Let's see -- Erwin & Godwin are working well together and so are the Tyler & James, even though they were a bit condescending to the junk crew. Rob & Kimberly are both horrible. Lyn & Karlyn are a bit dysfunctional and the Miss USAs are starting to break down & show their blondness.

Hey, David. I notice that Mary is a bit of a shrew. How about if we dump our partners and race together for the rest of the race? Mary & Peter deserve each other.


Taking things one leg at a time!

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Denalio 903 desperate attention whore postings
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10-09-06, 09:56 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Hey Missy over thar! You shortie blondie one, Sarah...Ya you! I am NOT a shroom. You stay away from my man. He is busy havin' a Viet Nam memorial thought in a regardin' way on accounta his daddy. You jus' let him be now, ya hear?

So don't be shaking your purdy little blonde butt at him. It's too tiny for him anyways. And I do not look like a shroom. I have been tryin' to figgur out what you tawkin' about calling me a bit of a shroom. Shrooms's is small skinny things with a big wide umbrelly head and so I have no ideer whad that's about. It's so confusin'. It's not my head that is big and wide, if ya know whad I mean. And my man, David, he likes it that way.

OK, I do unnerstand why you wanta dump Peter. He is a real piece a work, he is. Why we got hound dogs that treat us better than he treats you. And I think one a'our hound dogs woulda bin a better racing pardner for you 'cept a course when it'd try ta hump your leg.




{Emily Litella voice}What's all this talk about me being a shroom? ......... Oh! Never mind then! {/Emily Litella voice }

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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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10-10-06, 00:16 AM (EST)
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16. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Shrews is real smawl critters wid farly big haids, she's sayin' y'alls gots smarts or summat.


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Denalio 903 desperate attention whore postings
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10-10-06, 11:27 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
C'mere you and let me hug ya! Why you look like our middle youngun, Darrell. He kinda fuzzy like you. C'mon and let me give you a big ole hug. Unless'n ya gots a hound dog smell on ya, since I bin tryin to get that smell off'n me.

But ya shure are cute!



Shrews is a critter? Can ya cook 'em and put 'em in the gravy or the deep fryer? Mebbe make a McShrew Burger? Yum! Yee Hawww!

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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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10-11-06, 00:10 AM (EST)
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23. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Aw, shucks, a Maryhug, that plum made my day!

Dunno 'bout the tasteness of shrews, they's real small and shrewdy. Prolly tastes lahk chicken, most everythin do. 'Ceptin the stuff what tastes lahk catfish. Or mebbe turtles. Ent had no turtle soup in long while, now I got a hankerin. Les toss TnT in the water an sees if we cain't fetch up some turtles!


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warp_core breach 469 desperate attention whore postings
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10-11-06, 05:52 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Damn mangy vermin! I told ya to git!

Now, Mary, don'tcha go on huggin' that vermin there. Dang things got s'more fleas an such than are hounds back in Kintucky.

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Denalio 903 desperate attention whore postings
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10-12-06, 00:09 AM (EST)
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29. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Awww Shucks hunny, but don't he look like are youngun, Darrell? Or mebbe like our other boy Darrell?

I fer shore thought mebbe he was kin or sumpthin! Doncha see the resemblence?

B'sides, I bin thinkin the cooties might make good snacks iff'n we ever need sumpthin ta eats.




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dragonflies 8051 desperate attention whore postings
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10-09-06, 12:01 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
See, I told you that Rob needed to be nicer to me. He even admitted it! Ha!

He does have nice biceps though. Rob, you did a great job of rowing, even if you can't pull up a darn basket!


talking screeching since before I was born!

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CwazyWabbit 169 desperate attention whore postings
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10-09-06, 05:49 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Of course, I admitted it! Like I have always said...whatever you say about me is true, Babe!

As for that rowing thing, I couldn't have done it without you. I really can't do anything without you. And thank you for emasculating me on TV when you banished me to the back of the boat. I SOOOO needed that. You are just too good to me, Babe!


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Peetah 334 desperate attention whore postings
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10-09-06, 12:30 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
I am so proud of us! We just kept going and going! We were doing well until that stupid Oyster detour... we went from 2nd to 8th again.

Tom, honey, don't you think I did really well on my climb, especially considering who I was climbing next to. However, those straps were tight on my crotch--I liked it! Just like home!

Btw, Peter, FU! Keep your boat in your own lane, you lazy, sleazy, quitting SOB. That Sarah is just darling, and hon, you don't deserve her.

Now, Tom, honey, we need to have a heart to heart. Despite the fact that I put on a brave face and was as supportive as can be...please stop being a loser. You would not stop whineing and you're right, you know nothing about rowing a boat. While towing the boat was rather heroic in a pitiful way, you made us lose. And what took so long with gathering the pearls?? Don't complain about being exhausted with the rowing--I just climbed up a freakin' 90 foot cliff! And I still rowed! My God, you are a loser. BUT, you are my loser, and I love ya, honey.

Well, now we can enjoy sequesterville with the cheerleaders. Can't wait to get some rest so we can show off some of our dance moves again at the finish line!

To Dave and Mary, Alabama, Cho Bros--Back Pack rules!!

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CwazyWabbit 169 desperate attention whore postings
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10-09-06, 05:38 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
I AM SO GOING TO FREAK OUT, BABE!...I'M NOT FREAKING OUT!...I AM SO FREAKING OUT, BABE!...
DUDE!... I DON'T SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE, DUDE!... GO, DUDE! GO!...I SO DON'T WANT TO SPEAK TO ANYMORE FOREIGNERS!...GO!... I'M SO FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOT!... I CAN'T DO ANYTHING!... GO, DUDE, GO!...SHUT UP!...
I DO TOO NEED TO YELL EVEN IF YOU ARE RIGHT NEXT TO ME!...I LEARNED THAT IN ROWING SCHOOL!...
WE GOTTA GO, BABE!...SERIOUSLY, DUDE AND BABE! CHILL OUT!

WHAT??!!...Oh, we made it to the pit stop? I can slow down and be quiet now? Okay, thanks, babe. You know, it's just a matter of control. I'm only four years old and I need a parent to control me....at least that's what Kimberley tells me and if she tells me something, it's true...you know like when she told me I was freaking out, so I freaked out. Then she told me I was always yelling at her, so I yelled at her. Whatever she says HAS to come true!


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dragonflies 8051 desperate attention whore postings
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10-12-06, 08:24 AM (EST)
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30. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
shut up Rob


talkingtelling the truth since before I was born!

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Molaholic 8451 desperate attention whore postings
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10-09-06, 10:03 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
LAST EDITED ON 10-09-06 AT 10:05 PM (EST)

Welcome to Soi Sim Island, Vietnam.

I’m so glad that you finally found the island. Phil and I were just about to give up waiting and head over to the cave for some Hot Monkey Love.

Perhaps next time I’ll make sure that EPBvM prints the clues in English – and the Prom Drama Beauty Queens will have a special Blond translation available for them. In triplicate. With pictures.

Rob and Kimberly – you surprised the dong out me with your win.

‘bama girls – would you believe that us Vietnamese women give birth not only without anesthesia, but without whining, b!tching and moaning about it decades later either. Once the kid drops – we never mention the process again. Just a little friendly reminder.

Tom and Terry – it is unfortunate that our Vietnamese Bad Winds gave you fits. We have a traditional cure for those, however. Just step a little closer so I can rub the &#^@ out of your foreheads…



Not only Ubiquitous, but Superfluous too!

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sporkman 239 desperate attention whore postings
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10-12-06, 01:27 PM (EST)
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33. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Tom and Terry – it is unfortunate that our Vietnamese Bad Winds gave you fits. We have a traditional cure for those, however. Just step a little closer so I can rub the &#^@ out of your foreheads…

Did I hear someone was suffering from bad winds?



I seem to be a little lost. Can someone point me back to the Cook Islands?

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Denalio 903 desperate attention whore postings
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10-09-06, 10:05 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
LAST EDITED ON 10-09-06 AT 10:26 PM (EST)

I have bin trying to be all lovin' to everyone. Have you noticed I bin huggin' everyone? I want them all to know the deep abidin' love of us middle-aged, full-figger'd Kentuckians all over the world! Yes, I know some of 'em might not really want to be hugged by a complete and total stranger, but hey, I am tryin' to spread the love plus rub off some of this hound dog stink smell I still gots on my clothes. Culture? Shucks! Hugs is good whereever ya go! And I think I am makin' friends everywheres I be! This whole world is a beeyootiful place!

Don't you think so David? Hunny? Where are ya, Hunny?

Are you off again havin' some philersofical moments? I need some help here, David! I cain't hep it if'n I hurt mah ankle. It's twisted I tell ya. And it hurts a whole hollerin' lot.

And you keep your eyes off'n that teeny weeny little blonde girl. You know she is NOT your type what all! I bet she never ever bin to a McDonalds.

David? (hollers) DAAAAAAVIIIID? SOOOOOOOOOOOIEEEEEEEEEEE





Now David, you know I am right. You listen here, now.

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warp_core breach 469 desperate attention whore postings
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10-10-06, 07:56 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Dagumut, woman! My ears done ne'r exploded with ya carryin' on screamin' an the like! Yeah, I was off havin' some philersofical moments 'bout my daddy 'cause we's in Vietnam then alls I hears is ya cryin' like one of ar wounded hounds!

Now listen heer, ya gotta stop the huggin of them stranges we comes 'cross, y'hear? N'vr know who's ya huggin'. And don't even thinka bringin' home them thr ho mo sex als. I know yar feelin' sorry an all for 'em but baby we's got nuff hounds hangin' 'round the trailer back in Kintucky.

Now listen heer, I won't say it 'gain, but I tolds ya I rather have yr all 'merican, pasty white, cottage cheeze butt anytime than some butt with no meat on it. That there butt's curtsy of good ole McDonalds. Them booty queens looks like they's n'vr bin in a McDonalds. Don'tcha worry, baby...


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cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings
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10-09-06, 11:51 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Well, here we are in the middle of the pack under the radar again!

(Watch us, we'll make the Finals!)

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tvgeek401 1615 desperate attention whore postings
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10-10-06, 02:37 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Yep. We'll just sit around for most of the season and kapow! first at the finish line


So far under the radar that we never have anything worth saying.

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Max Headroom 10028 desperate attention whore postings
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10-11-06, 08:06 AM (EST)
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25. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Don't bet on it. I'll have my say in this race YET.

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mrc 10020 desperate attention whore postings
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10-10-06, 11:53 AM (EST)
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17. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
This was the episode that I promised earlier. I was prominently displayed, as the frequent mention of "dong" and "junk" made clear.

What is Phil's golf equipment?

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pinksparkleguitar 1222 desperate attention whore postings
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10-10-06, 01:30 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Yoo-hoo! Ter-bear???

Now that you're out of the race, we can all get together in sequesterville and conspire against those queens . . .


Watch out D and K, The fightin' Gamecocks (all four)are out to getcha!

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CouchTater 1046 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"

10-10-06, 08:42 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Hey did you guys see how much screen time I got this week. Boy as time ticked the camera kept going between Sarah’s ever growing angst and my finely tuned machineness. Did you even see that I have those cool tennis shoe bottoms on my bottoms? Bout time I get more screen time. I’m working non stop all day and I deserve some kudos. At least I deserve it more that that dolt Peter. Sarah and I are doing all the work, so we should get the screen time.


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Cyndimaus 3117 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

10-11-06, 11:20 AM (EST)
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27. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Lyn, we did pretty good this week, don't you think? Our kids are going to be so proud! Did you see me climb up that rock thing? I did good but your childbirth comment was a bit embarrassing. I'm proud of it, yes I am, but don't shout it out for the world to hear!

Those blond girls cut in front of us at the boats. Serves them right that one of them got cut. Should of been both of them!

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

10-12-06, 07:18 PM (EST)
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34. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Okay, now calm down, Karlyn....you are making me nervous with all of this revenge business. First draining the fluid out of poor Sarah's leg, and now this. This has to stop!

Hey, I have an idea...can we call ourselves "The Childbirth Team", or how about "The Labor Pains"?



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Cyndimaus 3117 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

10-13-06, 12:09 PM (EST)
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37. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
The Labor Pains....hm....has a nice ring to it. But I think people would use that name against us. But it could inspire us to surge to the front of the pack.

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byoffer 15808 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

10-12-06, 09:29 AM (EST)
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31. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Two-four-six-eight
TAR sure does discriminate!

First to go were the Muslim people
Then from India: Arti and Vipul

The cheerleaders were shown the door
And 2 weeks later there are gays no more!


Rise up with us, you other TAR racers, and fight the oppression! Join us for the Million PomPom March Against Cheerleader Discrimination!


It's never easy being a perky blue-eyed blonde. Or is that blond?

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Cyndimaus 3117 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

10-12-06, 10:50 AM (EST)
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32. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
LAST EDITED ON 10-12-06 AT 10:51 AM (EST)

Lyn and I will not succomb to all that. I mean, just because we're blacks and women and moms doesn't mean we'll go next. It'll be those dumb blondes. (they did cut in front of us and steal our boat!)

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beau_30 943 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

10-12-06, 07:29 PM (EST)
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35. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
It looks like I am missing Kandice again. I swear that girl gets into more trouble with out me. Phil is she with you. Is she wit you. If she isn't PLEASE PLEASE CALL

1-800-LOSTUSAPAGENTS

Blondes have Feelings as well

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beau_30 943 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

10-13-06, 10:39 AM (EST)
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36. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
See Im so confused that I can't even get my own name straight. Please help me find Dustin. I am really confused by this. I WANT MY PARTNER BACK!!


Blondes have Feelings as well

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Seana 5044 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

10-13-06, 01:16 PM (EST)
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38. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Gosh. I can't imagine where she went. I was just talking to her a minute ago.


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bystander 4967 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Stuff Magazine Centerfold"

10-14-06, 09:28 PM (EST)
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39. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 10.4"
Whew, Thanks Phil! I never knew how to hold a club before. Who would've guessed that golf was such an oral sport. Thanks for explaining the whole "hole in one" position also.

Now where is Kandice. I need to get this brain back to her!


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