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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
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but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
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As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Dear Tom and Terry"
HistoryDetective 9516 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-25-06, 10:19 AM (EST)
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"Dear Tom and Terry" |
Considering how many other stereotypes you seem to be fulfilling, I am really surprised that I need to write you this note. Listen, guys, it's time to talk about your hair. Yes, I imagine those long locks were all the rage back in the 70s, but you have to keep in mind that was a decade when you were still capable of growing hair uniformly on your heads.It appears that neither of you has a dominant GFH gene (Gay Fashion and Hair), though that little ass-spanking pantomime about riding horses suggests at least one of you got the GBD gene (Gay Bondage-Domination). Anyway, since your GFH gene seems to be recessive, I am here to tell you: It is time to cut the hair short. You don't need to shave your head completely, but for the love of Mary Adam, please, please, please trim it to a reasonable and more attractive length (horns not necessary). There's nothing wrong with aging. You should have enough style to at least do it gracefully though. Sincerely, HD P.S. Please tell David and Mary to stop dressing alike. Such behavior is reserved for the 'mos. Theyt probably don't realize since they never met a 'mo before.
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J Slice 13166 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-25-06, 10:26 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
I noticed the awful Phil Collins hair, too.hm. maybe some kind of "Do something gay" challenge is in order. Any ideas? "Go perfume shopping like Oswald and Danny?"
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ginger 22511 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-25-06, 11:35 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
Too right - in addition to imaginary ponies, they are riding my last nerve.You know, some people marry someone with a little yin to compliment their own yangness. Others go for their own CLONES. Can you tell these guys apart? I can't. And they both make Richard Simmons look like Charles Bronson. John Ritter swished less being oh-so-hilariously queer on Three's The Worst Sitcom Ever.
Just bleck.
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jolathe 15 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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09-25-06, 12:00 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
I was sure bummed to see the girls get phileminated instead of these two. And not just because I'm not gay either. I know several gay people and they don't act like that. Ever. I would much rather see the token eye-candy than the token, over-the-top-exploit-every-stereotype-in-the-book queers.
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Earl Colby Pottinger 1803 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser"
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09-27-06, 12:56 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
That may be his point, the people he knows are 'gay'. These two act 'queer', they do not act like real-world 'gays'.
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LibraRising 2847 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest"
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09-27-06, 02:46 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
LAST EDITED ON 09-27-06 AT 02:47 PM (EST)These two act 'queer', they do not act like real-world 'gays'. That absolutely is one of my pet peeves. What does a "real-world gay" act like? And why is it assumed that a derogatory term to an overall group is acceptable whenever referencing someone who doesn't fit that imaginary description? Chris Rock made it work, but very few others have. Yes, these guys are femme, cloying, mincing queens. And if I find them somewhat annoying, I can see how Mary Sue and Jim Bob in Des Moines, who don't know much more about the gays than cousin Bruce who visits with his roommate each Thanksgiving, might find them unbearably grating. But: I'm willing to bet I know a few more gay men than the average poster here, so I'm here to tell you -- there are a lot of guys out there exactly like them. And while nobody has to like them or root for them, they certainly are under no obligation to butch themselves up to make themselves more palatable to the mainstream as they become Supreme Ambassadors For The Community Of Gay Americans (founder: Jim McGreevey, 2004). This is not addressing anyone in the thread, but is a general statement. When the nightmares known as Lynn and Alex were on the show, quite a few were using it as an opportunity to wrap in some pretty nasty statements about the gay community as a whole in the name of bashing. I'm curious to see if that happens again. etf: html A kyngsladye klassic with an IceCat chaser
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HistoryDetective 9516 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-27-06, 03:42 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
I've had very mixed feelings about the line where having fun ends and derogatory bashing begins. I agree that no one on a reality television show is under any obligation to be the Gay Poster Child to Red State America --- that I want all gay people to be accepted for who they are, not just those gay people who mold themselves to fit some sort of stereotypical "straight" or "masculine" model.As I have stated previously, I do have issues with some of the casting decisions, especially those involving gay men. I liked Chip and Reichen in the fourth season. I especially liked the speech that they gave at the end. I liked that they may have helped to explode some stereotypes --- but I don't think that being athletic or "butch" should be a requirement for a gay man to appear on a reality television program. At the same time, I wish that the producers would cast more gay men like the ones I know instead of just the constant parade of "nelly" guys. I still wonder if it just a coincidence that TAR has not featured any more "butch" gay men since Chip and Reichen won in the fourth season. I don't think that Tom and Terry should be assumed to be interchangeable with all gay men ... but I don't want to be so PC that nobody can have some fun at their expense either. 
My biggest pet peeve is how much sexual humor in the discussions of previous seasons has revolved around the gay men --- as if straight women and straight men do not engage in most of the same activities --- or get interested in similar things in their partners. Fortunately, the cheerleaders and their Cocks have deflected some of that this season.
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Tahj 4136 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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09-27-06, 06:25 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
I guess my perception of nelly guys may differ from yours, HD, in that I wouldn't have said there is a constant parade of nelly guys. My instant thought when I read that was--it wasn't that long ago that we were complaining that no gays were cast in anything. Now it's a fairly regular occurrence. I'm not saying we should leave it at that. There still aren't enough positive portrayals of gays in the media, but still, they are there. Tom and Terry represent a certain segment of the gay culture or population and they have done nothing to be ashamed of, IMO. That doesn't mean they aren't bash-worthy, but I have to admit, your post made me uncomfortable. I don't mean that as a criticism of you, I'm just saying that was my reaction.
 Tribe rocked my sig!
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HistoryDetective 9516 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-27-06, 07:19 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
LAST EDITED ON 09-27-06 AT 07:23 PM (EST)I intentionally put "nelly" in quotation marks so as not to give a specific definition, but I do think that the gay men I see on reality television shows (TAR and others) tend to fulfill a greater number of stereotypes than the average gay man that I know. I've read enough history of media studies that I get sensitive about the argument that "at least gay people are being included now." For years, actors of non-white racial/ethnic backgrounds got pigeonholed into negative portrayals. It makes me wonder if I should really be happy about gay people getting their chance to see "themselves" on television if what they see is merely an exaggeration that serves to reinforce stereotypes. I think that Tom and Terry are pretty ridiculous, but it has nothing to do with their orientation. That horsey routine at the checkpoint was just silly. And I would be picking on their hair whether they were gay, straight, or whatever. I look at them and wonder if they look in the mirror before they leave the house. How could anybody think that looks good? And, yes, I played on the gay stereotype by suggesting that as gay men they should be concerned about their appearance. I know that my experience in the gay community has demonstrated that gay men are some of the most unforgiving when it comes to physical beauty, which might be an incentive for them to actually pay attention to their appearance since so many gay men are conditioned to do so. Good for them if they are willing to rise above that mentality --- but I still wonder why anybody would chose to be less attractive when a simple haircut would make them more attractive. ETA: I'm not much of a fan of David's hair either... I'm shallow enough to suggest that maybe he needed a makeover show more than he needed TAR.
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Tahj 4136 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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09-28-06, 12:31 PM (EST)
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34. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
I've read enough history of media studies that I get sensitive about the argument that "at least gay people are being included now." For years, actors of non-white racial/ethnic backgrounds got pigeonholed into negative portrayals. It makes me wonder if I should really be happy about gay people getting their chance to see "themselves" on television if what they see is merely an exaggeration that serves to reinforce stereotypes.Well, I guess it's a no win situation then. At least we have the chance to respond to the negative portrayals when they occur, just as the the actors you mentioned above did. And, I think you would agree those portrayals have changed tremendously for the better. As for Tom and Terry improving their personal appearance, I have no problem with bashing that. Personally, I think they look fine, and I've seen much worse. They obviously don't have a problem with each other's appearance and they seem like a very happy couple, which is a more important representation to me than anything else.  Tribe rocked my sig!
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Tahj 4136 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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09-28-06, 12:13 PM (EST)
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32. "RE: Just my two cents" |
IMO, I didn't really see anything here that appeared to be bashing. Or even borderline bashing. But that could be because I consider the fact that these two ARE in fact filling quite a few of the gay man stereotypes. That's their doing, that's how they choose to represent the world of gay men. *shrug*Well, pardon them for living, I guess. Surely you don't really think they chose to represent themselves that way. The fact is many, many gay men behave in a stereotypical way because that's how they are. They aren't putting on some f'in act and they shouldn't be condemned for it. IMO, this IS gay bashing. I'm all for representing a wider cross-section of the gay population in the media, but I'm certainly not going to criticize specific individuals for being who they are.
 Tribe rocked my sig!
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Tahj 4136 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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09-28-06, 12:48 PM (EST)
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35. "RE: Just my two cents" |
I don't know, Knockers, maybe I am being oversensitve. I have a tendency to support the underdogs. I guess my reaction is more about your statement that they are choosing to represent themselves in a stereotypical way. I just don't see that. I think I tend to bash behavior I find offensive, like Jonathon's, and especially like Lynn and Alex's last year. I found their behavior deplorable--nasty and mean-spirited--and I bashed them plenty. It had nothing to do with them being gay--I don't think I bashed them for anything having to do with that. Their behavior was independent of being straight or gay, as was Jonathon's. In my mind, how people behave and who they really are are often two different things. Not always, but often.  Tribe rocked my sig!
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Tahj 4136 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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09-28-06, 01:31 PM (EST)
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42. "RE: Just my two cents" |
HD's post did make me uncomfortable, but I didn't say anything until later, as the discussion progressed. I responded differently to the way Ginger used it and they way the other poster used it. The tones are different to me. Yeah, we could go on citing examples, kinda like exchanging bible quotes, lol, but in the end you're right, we agree to disagree. I just needed to post my own point of view in this thread because there were some things that bothered me and I'm glad I have. It's pretty clear that on gay issues many of us don't see things the same way, which now that I say it it seems obvious. I noticed that I was initially hesitant to say anything because I felt disloyal. My belief was, we gays need to stick together so it's not OK to disagree. But it is. There's no harm in it.  Tribe rocked my sig!
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Earl Colby Pottinger 1803 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser"
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10-01-06, 05:01 PM (EST)
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49. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
I am not picking on them because they are gay or that they seem queeny.To me they seem fake. They is something about the way they act and talk that seems forced, as if they have added an extra layer to thier normal selfs. >What does a "real-world gay" act like? Like a person! Most gays I have personally meet (a) I did not know them to be gay right away (first 5 minutes) unless they told me or I was told by someone else. And the very few who played it up so you knew within seconds of meeting them, did not ring with that sense of fakeness (instead it was clear they were enjoying themselves) that I am getting from Tom & Terry. Tom & Terry come across like some salesmen I have met, at first they seem like great people to be talking to, but the more time I spend with them the more the sense of wrongness builds up. I can't point to any one thing and say this is clearly wrong, but the whole is not the sum of it's parts. Do you get what I mean?
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Earl Colby Pottinger 1803 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser"
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10-01-06, 05:28 PM (EST)
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52. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
Aside from removing gum, I think some nut oils are suppose to be very good for hair. Atleast I hope so as I paid close to a $100 of hair condition kit for my girlfriend. The main contents was an oil made from a South America nut (I would have to look up the site if you want details) and in Jamaica (I partly grew up there) CoCo Butter made again from a nut is widely used to condition hair.
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alec7 17 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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09-25-06, 12:25 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
Plus they're from NYC - you'd think the city would rebel at having such unfashionable people represent them. I could understand it better if they were from DC...
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alec7 17 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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09-27-06, 11:14 AM (EST)
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18. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
Since this thread was all about stereotypes I thought I'd throw another onto the fire. I live in DC too and know that not everybody here is a khakhi clad politico-zombie with bad shoes.
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globespinner 61 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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09-28-06, 11:31 AM (EST)
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30. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
I have a twinge of guilt when I admit to feeling uncomfortable with their anticts. It's probably that little bit of leftover "closet time" from having been in too long. That being said, I think I figured out why I don't like them. I have plenty of friends who fall into the realm of queeny (we all do). It isn't these guys' stereotypical behavior that is uncomfortable, it's that they seem to be doing it to be the obligilatory gay guys--without the animated funny, biting humor that would make their antics entertaining. Queeny is fun when you're bitchy, fabulous or have a biting sarcasm that pokes fun at yourself. These guys are just boring. Doing a little dance or eye roll just doesn't cut it. It would be just as bad if they were jocks playing dumb because they thought it would get them more screen time. They're just boring.
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Peetah 334 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host"
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09-29-06, 11:09 AM (EST)
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43. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
Oh, but come on Globe...I, too, find them a little boring, but you can't expect them, because they're queeny, to be bitchy. It's not like they have a checklist of things to do today. These are real people, and they seem on the sweeter, sillier side. After all, when Lynn & Alex were bitchy queens, everyone really tore into them for it. I guess there's no final answer here. But I would say we need to accept them, that's all. Or, like any other somewhat boring team, ignore them. But not rip on them because they don't fit the three gay stereotypes that seem to have come up on this thread.
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globespinner 61 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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09-29-06, 11:37 AM (EST)
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44. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
I wouldn't say they need "ripping", just that I don't really like them (as television characters--I'm sure they're wonderful people in real life. And let's admit it--each person is cast for his or her television "character" potential) They're just kind of dull. I don't have a problem at all with their queeny affect. If they ran, arms flailing, screaming at wins, etc. that's fine; it would be genuine and maybe a little endearing. It's what seems like forced stereotypes, trying to be fabulous when they're not. It's hard to explain and I'm probably draining the waters of my pond to real shallowness, but it's kind of like being at a dinner party (with the boys) and there's one person who feels the need to constantly say, "Mmm hmm, you go girl" when, at all other times, they aren't the least bit flamboyant. Kind of like Eminem, who feels the need to talk like he's a brotha when, in private life, be probably talks more like Doogie Howser. I'll shut up now...
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Peetah 334 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host"
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09-29-06, 12:14 PM (EST)
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45. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
I appreciate what you're saying. I remeber during their pre-show interviews they claimed to be a little sneaky. Some people have even called them Guido redux. But I don't find them like the Guidos at all. The Guidos were sophisticated, manipulatitive, and smug. These guys are sorta clueless, but energetic, spastic, and in the case of Tom, a little boy. But they presented themselves as sneaky, so it's forced. I am playing Terry in the "Be the Amazing Racer" thread, so fortunately, I have found him amusing and feel protective of these guys. But I get what you're saying. Btw, if it sounded like I was picking on you, I apologize. I *totally* accept you and your opinions for who you are!
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globespinner 61 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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09-29-06, 02:24 PM (EST)
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47. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
No apology needed--opinions are what make this board tick! I haven't seen the sneakiness so much, yet but it's still early in the game. So, who knows?? There have been plenty of folks who have been bland in the beginning and wound up being loved (or hated) on down the road. As they get more tired (of the race, and each other) we'll see their true colors. My partner and I backpacked through Southeast Asia after less than a year of seeing one another and I nearly caught an early flight back on more than one occasion. 11 years later...
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HistoryDetective 9516 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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10-02-06, 10:51 AM (EST)
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54. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
Dear Tom and Terry,You didn't almost get eliminated from the Race because you "had a bad day." You almost got eliminated because you did not pay enough attention to the clue and, as a result, you broke the rules. Intentionally or not, this was your mistake, not some twist of fate. So, stop whining as though you had nothing to do with it. You already showed us that you have short attention spans or difficulty paying attention or whatever during the incident with the ticketing agent. Were you too busy trying to entertain another team with your antics that you did not notice the ticket agent just sitting there? Maybe if she would have done a little cheer you would have noticed her. I thought that it was funny (and ironic) that the blondes could not tell you apart. I cannot tell you apart either. I don't even know which one of you to label as the crybaby waiting to check in at the mat. Take a lesson from the team that actually got Philiminated on that leg: neither one of them cried at the mat. I imagine that at least one of you will bawl when you finally get Philiminated, one last little show for the viewers at home before they gratefully get to enjoy the rest of the season without your sorry mugs on the television. With warmest affection, HD
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maryellennaco 1084 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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10-09-06, 00:20 AM (EST)
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58. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
I HEART you guys!! I've never seen anything like that swim the boat to the "junk"... Wow!! Amazing willpower and strength!!! Good Luck & Godspeed!
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Earl Colby Pottinger 1803 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser"
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10-12-06, 08:11 AM (EST)
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63. "RE: Dear Tom and Terry" |
Most single gay teams have been a parent with thier gay child. Almost all of them have made TAR a bonding trip and do not really have thier eye on the end prize of $1,000,000. As such most of them don't make it very far into the race. But for most seasons there has been aleast one team with only one gay member.
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