GLOVES OFF… I’M JUDGING THE JUDGES!
“Idol” is in trouble. For real. I will not be watching any more. The show has forgotten its main mission… to find an “American IDOL.” Simon Cowell, may not have been loved by everyone. But he fully understood that the show was about finding a SUPERSTAR.
These judges are no longer spearheading the search for an Idol. They have thrown in the towel. Producers have put a lock on their jaws – no longer allowed to share HONEST opinion as to who has the “it” factor. Instead, the judges have become boring cheerleaders… no longer offering vocal, musical critiques. EVERYONE is great. EVERYONE is… yawn… amazing. EVERYONE is “Goose pimple” inducing. Yawn.
Judges… here is my judging of YOU. Take note before you kill this show.
1. BE A JUDGE! JUST SAYING “GREAT JOB,” HELPS NO ONE. Judges, you are “EXPERTS!” Tell the contestants what is WORKING or NOT WORKING with each performance. With all your experience. Say SOMETHING! ANYTHING. “Yo, (fill in the blank) is in it to win it” is NOT a vocal critique, FYI. You all suffer from EDS… “Ellen DeGeneres Syndrome.” It’s boring as hell. AND you are not helping America find an Idol.
2. Remember your mission… You are helping American find an “American IDOL.” Um, you think country boy is REALLY going to be an “Idol?” Elvis, Elton, Springsteen = idols. That kid is obviously green and FAR from being “Idol” potential. His corny eyebrow wiggling, mugging to the camera… it’s hokey, amateurish. JUST SAY IT! You all have ZERO credibility with your utter lack of honesty.
3. STEVEN TYLER: This week you said after “Country Boy’s” performance that you liked his performance and that you had been wondering before if he was “all hat and no cattle” (or something like that). WHY DIDN’T YOU ACTUALLY SAY THAT WHEN YOU REALLY THOUGHT IT? KEEPING THOSE THOUGHTS IN YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU HAVE THEM AND NOT SHARING THEM IS TOTALLY USELESS… HELLO?!?!? Also, you haven’t given one actual VOCAL or PERFORMANCE critique in WEEKS. Remember, you’re on the show in that seat… not just to WATCH THE SHOW!
You are a rock legend. Give these kids some help. Give America guidance about who you think could be an AMERICAN SUPERSTAR!
A million guys at a million bars are having a million drinks – your (paraphrased) critique of Pia’s last performance. WHHHAAAT?!?! Earth to Steven… WHAT IN YOUR OPINION IS NEEDED TO MAKE A “ROCK STAR?” TELL US. Who do you think has “Idol” potential? Who doesn’t? See… it’s called “American Idol” because on this show we are trying to find next American Superstar. America needs your help in finding that person. Your cute and clever and sometimes odd little quips do NOTHING to further the search for an IDOL! AND LOVING EVERYONE DOESN’T CUT IT. It’s dishonest. No one LOVES everyone. For just a second, please let us in your rock genius head and hear what you are REALLY THINKING!!!
4. RANDY: By CONSTANTLY telling Pia to sing something else other than ballads… you made viewers think she may be short on talent. Let’s be honest… country boy is NOT an American Idol. The kid can hit one deep note. One trick pony. Big deal. My Uncle can hit that same note. Randy, you’ve worked with the hottest singers/rockers in the WORLD. You can’t for a second believe this country bumpkin has “Idol” potential. SPEAK RANDY! SPEAK RANDY! SPEAK RANDY! Be honest. If that kid wins… you can largely thank yourself. You don’t offer critiques… you cheerlead. “I have three words… I loved It.” Um. Not a critique Randy. Not helpful to the contestant or to America in trying to find a SUPERSTAR. Were you actually AT all of the last seasons of of “Idol?” Watch old reruns. You seem to have forgotten what this show is about.
5. JLO: Um… it is so obvious you have a crush on Stefano. The kid is so average. We all know this (”WE” meaning anyone over 14 years old and male). You REALLY think he could be an American IDOL? You think he will sell albums? He has no charisma. He does NOT connect with the songs he is singing. He is musically/vocally average at best. YET, you keep praising him? Are things at home getting boring with you and the hubby. REMEMBER, we are looking for an AMERICAN IDOL… NOT a guy who makes you hot.
This week you told Pia to “STUDY THE GREATS,” giving the impression to viewers there was something wrong with Pia and her performance. Almost NONE of the other singers got any kind of critique close to this. Thanks to you, JLO… Pia will have PLENTY of time to study up on the greats AT HOME. If you want to critique Pia, great! Then also tell the truth about Stefano and how he belongs on a cruise ship.
I could continue on… but I think you judges get the point. Please don’t kill an otherwise great show. Watching you three judges is like watching THREE REALLY NICE, SWEET Ellen DeGeneres’. And she is a comic. She knows nothing about music. I can’t remember. Do you three know anything about music? Oh, you do! Great! Perhaps it’s time you share what you know with America and help judge this show again.
NOTE TO PRODUCERS:
Take the muzzle off these judges. Let them actually be JUDGES. America needs their guidance. The judges are now BORING. You’re paying each of these judges between $250,000 – $500,000 AN EPISODE for a reason. And that’s to share their educated opinions about the performances and who really is “Idol” worthy. It’s time for us to REALLY hear them.