LAST EDITED ON 11-26-02 AT 03:45 PM (EST)
LAST EDITED ON 11-26-02 AT 03:41 PM (EST)
There is no spoiler info here because the show hasn't aired yet and I haven't seen the first episode yet....but I wanted to do a recap so here it is.....Sorry Webby....you can delete this if I over stepped my bounds.
We open with our happy family all in bed at 10:00 am on Monday Morning.
Ozzy Walking down the stairs wipes the sleep out of his eyes and heads toward the kitchen.
Ozzy: Sharon!!! Where is my *bleep* en coffee.
Sharon: Oh Ozzy, the *bleep* en coffee is right *bleep* en *bleep* there in the coffee maker.
After fumbling with the coffie cups - breaking 2 in the process -
Ozzy: Sharon!!! Did you make any *bleep* en coffee. I don't sssssmmunndelfllen (i think he said he didn't see it).
Sharon walks into the kitchen and poors a cup of coffee for Ozzy.
Sharon: Those *bleep* up kids aren't up yet. They need to go to *bleep* *bleep* school, Ozzy.
Ozzy struggles to stand then hobbles toward Kelly's room.
Ozzy: *bleep* en *bleep* kids imagonnanasdfdf *bleep*.
Cut to commercials****
I turn over to see what else is on.
Back from commercials***
Ozzy standing at kelly's bedroom door.
Ozzy: Kelly, *bleep* your *bleep* ass up and *bleep* school.
Kelly: *bleep* *bleep* *bleep* late last night.
Ozzy: I don't *bleep* where the *bleep* you *bleep* where. Get *bleep* to school.
Kelly starts to get up. Ozzy stmbles toward Jack's room.
Never mind we we'll skip that part because it was the same conversation as he just had with kelly.
Ozzy in the kitchen again with Sharon. Sharon is talking about how hard it is to get the kids to go to school.
Sharon: *Bleep* those kids *bleep*
Ozzy: *Bleep* I know Sharon. They *bleep* en need to go to school. Ahunafunakoldaidotdesma.(or something like that).
Sharon: What *bleep* en are we *bleep* en going to do, Ozzy.
Ozzy: I don't *bleep* know Sharon. I am the *bleep* en prince of darkness.
Sharon: But *bleep* Ozzy, we have to do something.
Two hours later Kelly and Jack show up in the kitchen. Ozzy is watching the history channel in the family room.
Ozzy: I thought I told you *bleep* *bleep* en kids to go to school. *Bleep* I dnntcarta *bleep*. Get your *bleep* to school.
Kelly: School is over for the *bleep* day Dad.
Jack: Don't get *bleep* bleep* hyper *bleep*.
Ozzy: Don't tell *bleep me *bleep*. You are going *bleep* to *bleep* to school. *Bleep* I am the prince of darkness, *bleep*.
asdfjhassfdweee TV *bleep*.
When we return we find Kelly and one of her friends tied up naked in Jack's room. Jack is firing pellets from his pellet gun at them.
Kelly: *bleep**bleep* out *bleep* jack.
Jack: Oh, I *bleep* like to torture you Kelly *bleep*. You know its *bleep* your fault i am *bleep* this.
Kelly: Jack you *bleep* are *bleep* sick.
Ozzy stumbles in to Jacks room.
Ozzy: Oh my gowwwwd, *bleep* bleep* *bleep* crazy *bleep**bleep*
untie*bleep* bleep* sister *bleep now.
Ozzy: These *bleep* en people are crazy *bleep*.
And we fade to black...
That is it folks.....
Next time on the Osbourne's.....
Kelly screams when Jack tortures her.
Jack compains because he can't get any women to sleep with him.
Ozzie mumbles something and then yells "Sharon!!!!!"