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"Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 13 - "Jeff, You Have a Little Explaining to Do""
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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

08-13-07, 08:33 AM (EST)
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"Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 13 - "Jeff, You Have a Little Explaining to Do""

Survivor Live Excerpts: Twila Tanner and Yau-Man Chan

The screen shows Dalton Ross and Jenna Morasca, hosts of Survivor Live, on a faux jungle background with a Survivor: All-Stars II logo.

Dalton: Helloooo again, Survivor fans, and welcome to another edition of Survivor Live. I'm your host, Dalton Ross, and with me is Jenna Morasca, and we're back from a week's absence.

Jenna: Unfortunately, Maria couldn't be with us last week because of her injury, but we have the two most recent cast-offs from the show with us. For the first time ever, a tribe went to Tribal Council twice in one day, and the two who paid the most for it are here with us.

Dalton: Yes, after last night's 90-minute Survivor special, we have Twila Tanner and Yau-Man Chan in the studio with us.

The camera zooms back to show Dalton and Jenna as well as Twila and Yau-Man, both of whom have cleaned up greatly. Yau-Man is still looking as though he has not put back any weight he lost on the island.

Jenna: Welcome to the show, guys.

Twila: Thanks.

Yau-Man: Thanks, Jenna.

Dalton: Twila, you were the second person voted out this season because of an idol. Why were you a target?

Twila: I think it's just because I called out Charlie. If I catch Charlie and keep my mouth shut, Danni doesn't switch to playing the idol for herself, and I stay. And then we probably vote off Cirie.

Jenna: So the plan was to get yourself to the final four with Ozzy, Paula, and Yau-Man?

Twila: Exactly.

Dalton: Yau-Man, did you want that car? Were you trying to win it just to pawn it off?

Yau-Man: I didn't want to win it at first, but it became pretty clear that I was going to win it. That said, I tried to give the car to Charlie, because he has never won a car on the show.

Jenna: Well, since you gave that truck to Dreamz, neither had you.

Yau-Man: Well, I gave that up out of my own free will. Danni won the game and got a car, Terry won one in a challenge, Ozzy and Cirie got them in a vote, and Paula told me all about the one that she got as a gift in Japan.

Dalton: So you got the car because you didn't already have one?

Yau-Man: Pretty much. And I tried to make the deal with Charlie for the same reason.

Jenna: Twila, could you imagine giving up a car like that for a game reason?

Twila: Well, for starters, I was stunned that Yau-Man was voted out so quickly, but when he showed me the keys to the car, I understood. Yau-Man won a cursed car.

Dalton: Do you guys believe in the Car Curse?

Twila: Absolutely. Look at who's sitting next to me.

Yau-Man: I don't think it's cursed. I think I just overplayed my hand, and that sort of thing doesn't work against experienced players.

The Show Begins - air date 05/08/2008

The camera shows an overview of the Gambier Islands; the camera shot appears to move quickly.

Jeff (voice-over): Previously on Survivor...most of the tribe was still mourning the loss of Maria, so they kept themselves occupied.

(confessional) Danni: After the disaster at the immunity challenge, no one's in the mood to do anything fun, so we're all working.

Jeff (voice-over): But Terry was jubilant and did not join the other tribe's hard work.

(confessional) Terry: Everyone's so upset that no one even felt like eating. Frankly, I couldn't be happier that Maria's gone. It's one fewer person I have to beat, and she was annoying anyway.

Jeff (voice-over): And his attitude rubbed people the wrong way.

Cirie: Maria just broke her leg, and all he can think about is stuffing his face.

Jeff (voice-over): At the reward challenge, players were split into groups of two, with one strong player and one puzzle-solver on each team.

The camera shows the reward teams, with Terry and Yau-Man, Charlie and Danni, Ozzy and Paula, and Twila and Cirie.

Jeff (voice-over): And the Survivors were shocked to learn that they would be going through the day at super-speed.

Jeff: For the first time in Survivor history, you're about to see an entire Survivor cycle play out in one day. Twice.

Jeff (voice-over): Charlie struggled to hang on in the endurance portion of the challenge, and Danni had difficulty with the puzzles.

The camera shows Charlie gritting his teeth and unable to control his left hand; it switches to Danni frustrated with the puzzles while the others in the challenge are far ahead of her.

Jeff (voice-over): In a dramatic finish, Paula couldn't solve the crypto quote, and Terry and Yau-Man earned breakfast.

Jeff: This answer is not complete. Yau-Man and Terry win reward!

Jeff (voice-over): At the reward, Terry offended Yau-Man with his continued arrogance and disregard for others.

Yau-Man: Hey, what do you say to sneaking some of this back to Paula and Twila?

Terry: Let the poor bastards starve; it's an easy win for us.

(confessional) Yau-Man: At this point, I don't even think Terry's own mother would vote him a million dollars.

Jeff (voice-over): And at the immunity challenge, Terry's arrogance got the best of him when Cirie beat him in a head-to-head battle.

Jeff: Terry in the water! Cirie advances!

Cirie (to Terry): Too easy, assh---.

Jeff (voice-over): However, Cirie lost her next battle, and Ozzy went on to win immunity.

The camera shows Ozzy's struggle with Danni as well as her flop into the water.

Jeff: Danni in the water! Ozzy wins immunity!

Jeff (voice-over): Back at camp, Charlie and Danni looked for the immunity idol.

(confessional) Charlie: At this point, if Danni's in danger, she plays the idol, and if I'm in danger, I play it. I think I'm more in danger right now.

Jeff (voice-over): And they appeared to find it.

Charlie: Hey, I found it!

Danni: Really?

Jeff (voice-over): And Twila went to her alliance with the news that Charlie had the idol, prompting a change of plans.

(confessional) Twila: Charlie's a little too loud, and he's about to get a shock when his girlfriend's name comes up five times at Tribal tonight.

Jeff (voice-over): At Tribal Council, Twila called out Charlie for finding the idol, but he denied it.

Twila: Charlie's a threat to you, and that's why he has to go dig up the idol.

Charlie: I didn't find it, but by all means, keep me around.

Jeff (voice-over): And Danni received four votes, voting her out of the game.

Jeff: ...the twelfth person voted out of Survivor: All-Stars II and the fourth member of the jury...Danni.

Jeff (voice-over): However, Danni had an idol of her own and played it on her own behalf, meaning Twila was voted off with only three votes.

Jeff: Twila, the tribe has spoken.

Jeff snuffs Twila's torch.

Twila: You got me good, Forrest. You got me real good.

Jeff (voice-over): The game continued, and the reward challenge offered a chance to win a big reward.

Jeff: Well, the game has been at All-Star difficulty, and the challenges are at an All-Star level, so we figured the rewards should be as well.

Jeff looks behind him, where he has something covered with a large, tan tarp. He pulls the tarp off to reveal the reward.

He uncovers a shiny black Cadillac Escalade.

Jeff (voice-over): Terry's arrogance and Danni's status as a past winner put them out of the challenge early, and it came down to Yau-Man and Paula for the win.

Jeff: Yau-Man, all you need is one more right answer, and that Escalade is yours. Next question. In the Cook Islands, Cao Boi used an unusual home remedy to relieve what ailment? A. Blurred vision, B. Dehydration, C. Sore joints, D. Headache.

The camera shows Yau-Man and Paula's fast answers.

Jeff: The correct answer is D. Headache. And with that, Yau-Man wins reward.

Jeff (voice-over): However, Yau-Man was not content with the reward win, and he tried to cut a deal.

Yau-Man: Charlie.

Charlie: Yeah?

Yau-Man: I want to make a deal with you.

Charlie: I'm listening.

Yau-Man: I will give you this car, but in exchange, if we are both still around at the final four and you win immunity, I want you to give me the necklace.

Jeff (voice-over): It was the same deal he offered the first time he won a car in Fiji, but the answer was different.

Charlie: How much is the car worth?

Jeff: We're looking at seventy-one thousand dollars.

The camera focuses in on Charlie contemplating the deal.

Charlie: No deal.

Jeff (voice-over): Despite turning down the deal, Yau-Man invited Charlie to the reward lunch along with Paula, his closest ally.

Yau-Man: You still don't want the car, Charlie?

Charlie: Honestly, Yau-Man, can you picture me in one of these things?

Yau-Man: Can you picture me in an Escalade?

Jeff (voice-over): But at the same time, Yau-Man's reward wins made Paula question her alliance with him.

(confessional) Paula: I'm starting to get a little jealous of Yau-Man. On one hand, he's my ally, but on the other hand, if he reached the end, he would probably win easily, even over Charlie or Ozzy.

(confessional) Charlie: It got to the point where we decided it was time to say goodbye to Yau-Man. What's to say he doesn't try to make someone else sell their soul to him the way he wanted me to?

Jeff (voice-over): At the immunity challenge, everyone got a chance to break plates for a shot at winning their safety.

The camera shows several good throws, including a dead-on toss by Ozzy, as well as some awkward throws.

Jeff (voice-over): Danni set the early benchmark.

The camera shows Danni's first shot, which stops a couple of feet from the X.

Jeff (voice-over): But Paula overtook her.

The camera shows Paula's shot passing over the black X marking Danni's progress.

Jeff (voice-over): Ozzy got a shot within inches of the target.

The camera shows Ozzy's shot landing within inches of the target.

Jeff: Ozzy takes the lead in spectacular fashion.

Jeff (voice-over): And he was on his way to winning immunity for the second time in one day until Charlie bested his mark.

The camera shows Charlie's perfect shot.

Jeff: Charlie lands a perfect shot!

Jeff (voice-over): Yau-Man overshot his target, and Charlie won immunity.

The shot passes over the red X by about eight inches.

Jeff: Yau-Man overshoots it. Charlie wins immunity!

Jeff (voice-over): Back at camp, with Charlie immune, the target was Danni.

Ozzy (to Terry): Danni's next.

Terry: Danni? What about Cirie?

Ozzy: Cirie hasn't found two idols.

Jeff (voice-over): But Charlie tried to rally support to vote off Yau-Man.

Danni (to Cirie): Can we get four to cut Yau-Man?

Cirie: Terry might do it.

(confessional) Cirie: We need a fourth vote. Yau-Man's our target, Ozzy won't flip, and Paula's close to Yau-Man. Our only hope is Terry.

Jeff (voice-over): And as an insurance policy, Charlie convinced Paula to vote for Terry and throw her vote away.

(confessional) Paula: Charlie seemed to want Terry out. He's trying to play a pure game and get out the worst players, which I respect, but I think part of it is just his own personal ego of wanting to take Terry down now and go head-to-head with Ozzy near the end.

Jeff (voice-over): The plan worked to perfection, as Yau-Man was sent packing.

Jeff: Yau-Man, the tribe has spoken.

Jeff snuffs Yau-Man's torch.

Charlie: Enjoy the car, Yau-Man.

Yau-Man: You still want it?

Charlie: Sure, I'll take it now.

Yau-Man: You wish, Forrest.

Jeff (voice-over): Six are left. Who will be voted out tonight?

The camera shows a quick overview of the Gambiers as the Survivor theme begins to play. The first sequence appears to be out of the Japan opening spliced with the Vanuatu opening; a cannon appears in the background, and the music appears to be an amalgamation of the past seven themes with some imagery from each. Player intros are given in alphabetical order by tribe, with Fati going first and Ta'aroa going second. All screen shots of players in this intro are from the first episode, and all are wearing their tribes' buffs. As the intro comes to a close, images of the last seven settings centered around a pirate ship appear to fade as the Survivor: All-Stars II logo is superimposed over the center of the screen. The logo appears similar to the first All-Stars logo except it reads "All-Stars II" and the dominant background color is a bold red instead of blue. The green from the old All-Stars logo is replaced with a dark blue, and the text is silver.

At this point, the screen cuts to commercial.

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 13 -... Colonel Zoidberg 08-13-07 1
 Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 13 -... Colonel Zoidberg 08-13-07 2
   RE: Survivor: All-Stars II Episode ... jbug 08-13-07 5
 Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 13 -... Colonel Zoidberg 08-13-07 3
 Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 13 -... Colonel Zoidberg 08-13-07 4
 RE: Survivor: All-Stars II Episode ... mattben 08-16-07 6

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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

08-13-07, 08:34 AM (EST)
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1. "Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 13 - "Jeff, You Have a Little Explaining to Do""

This call was recorded on 5/9/2008, and only Mark Burnett Productions recorded it. The call was placed to Burnett's cell phone from a private number.

Mark Burnett: Hello?

Red 14: Yes, this is Mr. Burnett?

Red 14's voice is very raspy and moderately deep; it is hard to tell if this is a male or female voice, and it is impossible to distinguish the identity. It is clearly not that of suspect Tom Buchanan.

Burnett: Who the hell is this?

Red 14: It's your worst nightmare.

Burnett: Are you that guy that's been--

Red 14: Yes, I thought you should hear the sound of my voice. We've been communicating by text message for too long. I hope you haven't shared anything with the press.

Burnett: No, no I have not. Just as we agreed.

Red 14: Good. Now we have an understanding. And we need to have an understanding that Buchanan goes to jail for this. If necessary, I'll frame him for things that are far worse.

Burnett: This is ridiculous. Why the hell are you making him take the fall for this? What the hell did he do?

Red 14: If the public thinks Red 14's been caught, that makes it more legitimate when those lawsuits go in your favor, now, doesn't it?

Burnett: Well, yes, I suppose it does.

Red 14: And you understand that you get only enough money to cover your legal fees, right? The rest gets transferred into my bank account.

Burnett: Yes, that's perfectly fair.

Red 14: And since you're so good at it, why not reunite Charlie with his beloved ex-wife?

Burnett: What? No! I've done enough damage. I've turned against my contestants. I'm suing an injured woman for everything she has! This is preposterous!

Red 14: Either do as I say or all your production secrets go public. And there are some secrets that I know you don't want out in the open.

Burnett: OK, OK...I can't believe I'm doing this. I'll send for Charlie's ex-wife, and I'll even arrange an impromptu wedding for them. I can't imagine why you want them back together anyway.

Red 14: I have my reasons. Now do as I command or everything comes out.

Burnett: Yeah, no problem. Can I go now?

Red 14: Go where? Back to your whore?

Red 14 disconnects the call.

Back from commercial.

Angakauitai Island, Maui camp, Day 31. After a restful night, the remaining Maui are waking up with a renewed energy.

Charlie (to Cirie): We have the game under control now.

Cirie: Thanks, Danni.

Charlie: She's pretty sharp. And she already won, so it's between us at the end.

(confessional) Cirie: Charlie and Danni pretty much saved my skin yesterday by playing that idol. If they don't do that, Danni and I probably leave one after the other, and Charlie's all on his own.

Charlie: I think we can probably get to the final three together.

(confessional) Charlie: I could take Cirie to the end, yes. But my plans really don't involve Cirie, and as far as I'm concerned, she's expendable. And frankly, I don't know how much I really trust her.

The camera switches to Ozzy, who's alone and cooking fish.

Ozzy (to himself): At least I can win immunity.

(confessional) Ozzy: Yesterday, there were four votes for Yau-Man and one for Terry, and at this point, I'm the only one left in the game who voted for Danni. I stand alone. I need to win.

Paula (to Ozzy): Hey, how's breakfast coming?

Ozzy: It's coming along like it's my only hope.

Paula: Oh, relax; I won't vote you out.

Ozzy: But then we're two lone nuts going down together while the rest of the tribe goes to the final four. And I'm left to wonder what you have against Terry, anyway.

Paula: What? I don't have anything against Terry.

Ozzy: Then why vote for him twice? What message are you trying to send?

(confessional) Paula: The only message I'm sending is that I wasn't the one to send Yau-Man packing. I wouldn't vote for Yau-Man, and Charlie gave me a workable alternative. I thought the vote was for Terry twice, and it wasn't for Terry either time.

Paula: Look, Terry's a major problem around here.

Ozzy: I know he is, but when you know how we're voting, and you have two real opportunities to get Danni out, you waste both.

(confessional) Paula: Come on now. It's in my best interests to keep Danni around, just like it is for me to keep Terry around. They might win a challenge, but they're no threat to me.

The camera switches to Aukena Island, Day 31. The Survivors file in and see a system of buckets on balances.

Jeff: Come on in, guys!

The members of the tribe take their spots on the usual red tribal mat.

Jeff: Welcome to Day 31. You have survived one of the wildest games of Survivor ever. And we think it's about time for a little fun. Let's get to today's challenge. It is for reward, and I promise, it's the only challenge today.

Ozzy: Thank you.

Jeff: You're welcome. Here's how it works. All six of you will be blindfolded. On my go, you will race out to the water, fill your bucket, and use it to fill a larger bucket with water. The objective is simple; the first to fill their bucket enough to lower it to the bottom and raise their torch to light the larger torch wins reward. There are two catches to this, other than the blindfolds. You will have to throw the water from behind these stands; you cannot just pour it. Also, there's one more thing.

The tribe looks at Jeff anxiously.

Jeff: Charlie, you will be working with your son, Derek. (calling out) Come on out, Derek!

The camera switches to Derek, Charlie's 21-year-old son, running toward his dad on the beach. He's tall, strong-looking, dark-haired, and doesn't appear to have shaved in a while. He's also wearing a Michigan hockey jersey.

He embraces his father at about ten yards away from the other Survivors.

Derek: We haven't lost since you left!

Charlie: That's great news! Score a goal for your old man.

Jeff: Derek, you can take a spot over here.

Derek stands behind a black line in the sand about ten feet from the stopping points for the Survivors.

Jeff: Needless to say, you will all be working with someone in this challenge. Cirie, we brought your husband, H.B.

H.B. runs out from behind the trees in the same spot Derek had, warmly embracing and sharing a kiss with his wife.

H.B.: Don't work me to death this time, sweetheart.

Cirie: No promises.

H.B. takes his place next to Derek.

Jeff: Next up...Danni, your brother Drew.

Drew appears from the same spot as the others, and, unlike last time, he actually gets to embrace his sister. He's a bit shorter than Danni.

Soon, he takes his spot next to H.B.

Jeff: Ozzy, it's your turn. We brought your mom Gina.

Gina, who doesn't really look like her son, emerges from behind the trees; Ozzy is extremely happy to see her, and she leans up to kiss her taller son on the cheek before taking her spot.

Jeff: I'll go to you, Terry.

Paula appears a little taken aback, as her name appears next in the alphabet and this is the pattern Jeff seems to have followed.

Jeff: We have your wife Trish.

Trish runs out quickly to see her husband; it is clear that she has aged since her last time on Survivor. She embraces her husband with all her strength.

Jeff: Paula, I think you noticed that we skipped over you.

Paula (a bit upset): Yeah, it's a little obvious.

Jeff: When you came on the show, you listed only one person you wanted to see out here, and that was your sister Lynn.

Paula: Yeah, what about her? She couldn't make it?

Jeff (sighing first): Lynn is in the hospital. She was in a car accident. She's in stable condition, but she injured her left arm and couldn't be out here.

Paula is obviously tearing up, and Derek walks over to comfort her.

Jeff: That's the bad news. The good news is that there's no way we're letting you go without a visit. So we did a little asking around, and we got you a visitor. Paula...

Paula is still sobbing, and Derek has his arm around her.

Jeff: ...say hello to your step-dad, Jim.

The look on Paula's face is of obvious shock as Jim, a white-haired older man in his sixties hobbles out with a smile on his face. Paula falls to the ground in tears as Jim stops about five yards short of Paula. Derek is kneeling at Paula's side, and Jeff comes over to talk to her.

Jeff (to Paula): What's going on? Why are you so upset?

Paula (crying): You don't understand.

Jeff: What don't I understand?

Derek: I think I can field this one, Jeff.

Paula buries her face in Derek's side, clutching his jersey.

Derek: Paula hasn't spoken to her step-dad since just after her mom died. They had a pretty big fight, and they just decided they weren't going to see each other anymore.

Jeff: Wait, Derek, are you telling the truth?

Paula (still sobbing): He's telling the truth, Jeff.

Derek: When my dad's dating a woman, I find out all I can about her. Up to this point, she's never been bothered with this, but I guess this is what happens when you put people together who haven't spoken in a long time. Someone blows up, and it's just ugly all around. As far as I'm concerned, Jeff, you have a little explaining to do.

Jeff: I guess that's fair. The fact remains, our hands were tied. Paula's mother is deceased, her sister's in the hospital, and none of her kids are old enough.

Derek: Why not bring out her oldest son? You brought out Shane's son.

Jeff: Paula's sister said that wouldn't be in his best interests, and besides, we couldn't exactly take him out of school. Paula hasn't seen her father since she was little, and we just couldn't bring her ex-husband out here. We really had to search far and wide, and none of her friends or co-workers could make it. Jim was our best choice.

Paula: This should be a happy day for everyone. Why do I have to be so upset?

Jeff: We didn't know the circumstances, and we had no idea you hadn't talked to him in so long. Listen, Paula, we're sorry, but Jim's the best we could do.

Derek: You knew she hadn't spoken to him in years, right?

Jeff: We had a pretty good idea, yes.

Derek: Don't you people ever learn? When you put Daniele from Big Brother in the house with her dad, they knew sparks would fly, and they did! This isn't a time to go rip people's hearts out! Everyone else here got to see someone they love and someone they missed! Why the hell play a trick like this on the one person who least deserved it!

Jeff: Look, as I said, we had no idea.

Paula (screaming): Then why didn't you find out?

Jeff: Jim said it wasn't a big deal to him anymore--

Jim: Look, people, if I may speak.

Jeff: OK, go on.

Jim: There was a large sum of cash that Paula's mother had left to her family when she died. I thought it was only fair that we split the money three ways. I wanted a third, and Paula and her sister could each have a third. Paula wasn't happy with that; she said she deserved more because she had four kids to raise. I offered her some more, but we never found a figure we were both happy with, and ultimately, she never took any of the money. I had a very spirited fight with her about it, and after some name-calling and object-throwing, we decided it was best if we didn't talk for a while.

Jeff: And that's why you haven't spoken in over two years?

Jim: I didn't have it in mind to cut Paula off. Jeff, I don't have any children of my own; Paula and Lynn are the closest thing I have. I never thought of myself as a step-dad; in my eyes, they were my real kids. I tried to contact her a few times, and eventually, I just gave up.

Jeff: Paula, this comes from a man who says he has nothing against you. I think it's time we heard from you.

Paula: It took me a long time to get over that, and by the time I did, Jim stopped trying to contact me.

Jim: I gave up.

Paula: I know you did. And I've been too busy and too overwhelmed to try to get time to come see you.

Jim: I've wanted to see you, but I was afraid to call.

Paula: I know. I just wish this had all happened under different circumstances.

Jeff: Again, I apologize. But at this point, there are only two things we can do. The two of you can compete with everyone else, and if you win, you have plenty of time to talk about it...

Jim gives an anticipatory look.

Jeff: ...or we can send Jim home now, you can sit out of the challenge, and what you do after that is in your hands.

The camera switches to Paula, who's drying her tears. Derek appears unfazed, but Jim has his hands in a praying position.

Paula sighs and puts her hands down on the sand.

Paula: Oh, what the hell.

Paula lifts herself up and embraces Jim, who clearly is not expecting it. He seems to mouth the words "Can't breathe."

Paula (to Jim): I'm so sorry.

The two break the embrace and take their spots; Derek returns to his.

Jeff: It looks like we have a competition. Take your spots; wait for my go.

Images of the players lined up with their buckets in hand and their blindfolds on with their loved ones behind them dominate the scene as it cuts to commercial.

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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

08-13-07, 08:41 AM (EST)
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2. "Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 13 - "Jeff, You Have a Little Explaining to Do""
REPORT: "Survivor" Loved One in Critical Condition

UPI News Service, 05/08/2008

It's reported that a particular Survivor gets a visit from someone who isn't exactly their first choice. For Paula Stanley, who is in the final six on the current edition of the show, if it's her, one can only hope that things improved since then.

Jim Coddington, Stanley's stepfather, was admitted to a hospital the morning of May 8, 2008 after suffering a stroke. He is still in critical condition. It is not known until the airing of the May 8 Survivor, which is expected to include a family visit, if Coddington was Stanley's visitor.

Some sources have indicated that Stanley and Coddington have done a lot of talking since February, which may indicate that he is the reward visitor and that they have grown closer since that time.

Back from commercial.

Aukena Island, Day 31. All six remaining Survivors are in position, but they have removed their blindfolds.

Jeff: There is one more thing I forgot to mention. The Survivor who wins the competition will stay the night at camp with their loved one. In addition, they will get to spend the evening at a nice island house enjoying dinner and games. As an added bonus, the winner will receive a vacation package that includes a week at four different countries that Survivor's been to already. We've never offered anything like this before, but after the car in the last challenge, we weren't just going to let the rewards slip, were we?

The Survivors appear somewhat excited and slip their blindfolds back on.

Jeff: This is for a big reward. Survivors ready? GO!

All six Survivors take off and head for the water, filling up their buckets. Ozzy is the fastest one back to his station, and he heaves the water at his mother, who catches very little of it.

Jeff: Gina's all wet after that!

Charlie tries the same thing, and Derek drops his bucket, catching almost nothing.

Jeff: Derek can't hang on!

The team that seems to work well together is Danni and Drew; Drew pours about half a bucket into the larger bucket, although it doesn't appear to make much of a dent.

Jeff: Danni and Drew seem to work well together!

Cirie is more accurate but much slower than her counterparts; H.B. catches most of the water in the bucket, but it's only his first bucketful.

Jeff: H.B. catching a lot of water!

Both Drew and Derek seem to be filling their large buckets with nearly-full smaller buckets.

Jeff: Charlie and Derek in a close second! Second doesn't do you any good here!

Ozzy tosses some water toward his mother as Terry drenches his wife. Gina catches far more of it than Trish does.

Jeff: Terry, the object is to get it in the bucket, not on your wife!

Paula laughs at that comment despite her struggles; she throws water too short, and Jim catches little of it.

Jeff: Paula and Jim struggling! You have to communicate, people!

The buckets next to Derek, Drew, H.B., and Gina seem to have descended a bit. The ones near Trish and Jim haven't budged.

Drew takes a slight lead over Derek, who has a slight lead over H.B. and Gina.

Jeff: Keep going, people! No one's out of it!

Terry tosses his water in a completely odd direction; Jim catches more of it than Trish does.

Jeff: Terry thinks Jim's his partner!

Derek pours a nearly-full bucket into the larger bucket; Drew's is nearly empty, and the two pull even with their buckets about halfway down.

Jeff: Derek and Drew getting there! H.B. and Gina, start catching up!

Charlie and Danni arrive at the same time, and both manage to get half-full buckets to their loved ones. They remain neck-and-neck.

Jeff: Derek and Drew going down to the wire!

Terry completely misses again, getting some in Gina's bucket.

Jeff: Now Terry thinks Gina's his partner! Gina might be able to catch up!

Gina's bucket is behind Derek's and Drew's, but she has gained ground on H.B. and is in a clear third place.

The camera focuses on Derek and Drew, who are almost done; Charlie and Danni arrive at the same time.

Both of them toss water to their loved ones.

Drew catches a good amount and tries to pour; Derek does the same.

One bucket starts to tip down farther.

It rests at the bottom, and the camera zooms onto the larger torch that ignites.

A zoom back reveals that it is Derek's bucket.

Jeff: Charlie and Derek win reward!

Charlie removes his blindfold and embraces his son once again while the others, including a frustrated Danni, toss down their blindfolds and put their heads in their hands.

Jeff: Charlie and Derek, congratulations. Derek will spend the night at the Maui campsite. There is, however, one more order of business.

The camera focuses on Charlie and Derek again.

Jeff: Two other loved ones are joining you guys for the rest of the day but will not spend the night. When Charlie and Derek go to dinner, they will leave. Charlie, pick one.

Charlie looks over the remaining loved ones carefully.

He hesitates before he answers.

Charlie: Danni's brother. They finished second; they earned it.

Jeff: Drew will head back to camp with the tribe. Derek, the other visitor is up to you--

Derek: There's no question here. Paula and Jim.

Jeff: Jim will be joining the tribe as well. A boat will come by at sunset to pick up Charlie, Derek, Drew, and Jim. I'll see you guys then. H.B., Gina, and Trish, you have two minutes to say goodbye to your loved ones.

The camera shows the goodbye scenes between Cirie and her husband, Ozzy and his mom, and Terry and his wife. Gina seems to be the most upset about not getting a visit.

Angakauitai Island, Maui camp, Day 31. The tribe arrives at camp with three loved ones in tow, all of whom are wearing red Maui buffs.

(confessional) Derek, Charlie's son: The first time my dad came on the show, I did come to visit him, but it was in the hospital after he had a heart attack. This time, I actually get to see him in the game and know he's doing well.

Derek sits down around the fire next to his dad; Danni sits next to him, and Derek suddenly gets a little apprehensive.

Danni: What's the matter, Derek? You love me or something?

Derek immediately starts laughing at the comment.

Paula: He better not; Danni's already made up her mind about--

Charlie: Paula!

Paula looks at Charlie with a confused look.

Charlie: Be cool, will ya?

(confessional) Paula: It's pretty apparent that Derek is attracted to Danni. Charlie and I decided it was for the best that he and Danni keep their hands to themselves until Derek left. I didn't want to see a big, strong guy like Derek turn into the Incredible Hulk and start tearing the place up.

Ozzy: So wait, Jim, how long have you been in Paula's life?

Jim: Paula was 10 when I married her mother, and I was 41. I don't think she ever got used to having a step-dad who was eight years older than her mom was.

Paula: Oh sure, that's what I told you just to scare the hell out of you when Mom brought you home.

Jim and Paula laugh hard at that.

(confessional) Jim, Paula's step-dad: Being on the island with Paula was just like old times. I really missed not having her in my life, and I am forever thankful that I got the chance to connect with her again. It was worth thinking for about ten minutes that Derek was going to kill me.

Jim and Ozzy appear to be laughing together along with Paula and even Derek.

(confessional) Ozzy: Paula and I have a lot in common. Neither of us has a relationship with our fathers, but we both have step-dads who are just like a real dad to us. When I think about how close I am to my mom and step-dad, I can't imagine losing touch with them like Paula did with Jim. It just doesn't seem right, and watching them connect again was heartwarming.

A boat pulls up with Jeff in it as the sun begins to set. The tribe is still sitting around the fire laughing and telling stories as Jeff walks up.

Jeff: Hey guys.

Charlie: Hey Jeff, bring Julie and we'll have a barbecue.

Jeff: I'd love to, but unfortunately, I'm here to borrow some of you. Drew and Jim, it's time to head on out. Charlie and Derek, dinner is waiting for you. Come on back.

Drew says goodbye to Danni as Paula finishes up with Jim.

Paula (to Jim): I'll call you once I get back.

Jim: I'd love that. Let's go get a steak sometime.

Paula: I'll bring the kids.

Jim and Drew walk off to the boat with Charlie and Derek following.

Jeff: Charlie and Derek will be back tonight late.

(confessional) Charlie: I was looking forward to a lot of things. I missed the Super Bowl while I was out here, for crying out loud. But more than anything, I wanted some time with just my son.

The boat heads off into the sunset.

The camera switches to Mangareva Island, Night 31, and Charlie and Derek arrive at an island house, and upon walking in, they see dinner already waiting for them.

(confessional) Derek: I don't eat half this good at home, so coming out here thousands of miles away from home, getting a good meal, and spending time with my dad that I don't always get is well worth it.

Charlie and Derek dig into the barbecued ribs and mashed potatoes on the table.

Charlie (with his mouth full) So how do you like it out here?

Derek: You mean the house? The islands? The other people?

Charlie: We'll start with the islands.

Derek: It's a hell of a lot better seeing you here than in a hospital.

Charlie: It's a hell of a lot better seeing you in most places than a hospital.

Derek: Except maybe jail.

Charlie laughs at Derek's comment.

(confessional) Charlie: Derek's a busy guy, and whatever time we have together is usually interrupted by this or that, so having some time just to talk and shoot the breeze is a dream come true at this point.

Derek: Lemme tell you something, Dad. That Danni is a fine woman. The fact that you've been out here for a month and haven't made a move on her means either you're a stronger man than I am or--

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, make fun of your old man for not getting a date in eleven years.

Derek: What about Paula? I see the way she looks at you.

(confessional) Charlie: Part of me wanted to tell Derek everything. But I kept my lips sealed about me and Danni because I didn't want to be the one to break his heart.

Charlie: I went on two dates with Paula. She's a very nice lady, and I see her as a good friend, but we're both way too busy for a relationship.

Derek: Oh, come on, Dad. I'm in college, and all you have to worry about then is her four kids.

Charlie: You do know she has four kids, right? I had my hands full with just you.

(confessional) Derek: Trying to set my dad up on a date is a little like trying to set me up as a keynote speaker at an Ohio State pep rally. It just doesn't work.

The camera shows the two of them looking at some travel papers.

Charlie: So it looks like all of these arrangements are for me and a loved one.

Derek: I won't beg, Dad.

Charlie: Hey, you're coming with me at least once and probably more often.

Derek: Hey, they have one here to Japan.

Charlie: Yeah, hopefully I'll come out of there with my health.

(confessional) Charlie: There were four week-long trips and a couple of bonus trips. I got one trip to Japan, one to Brazil, one to Australia, and one to Panama. And they threw in a few added bonuses, like a week-long cruise and a couple of short stays in the south Pacific. I'd rather have this reward than the car.

The camera switches to the two of them playing pool; Charlie breaks, and he sinks two solid balls.

Charlie: You want me to go easy on you?

Derek: Have I ever asked you to?

Charlie: Yeah.

Derek: When I was eight, yeah. I'm old enough to have a beer now.

(confessional) Charlie: I got pretty good at pool in the Navy. Pool and poker were about all we did. I could probably make a decent living hustling both in Vegas, but ever since I spent a few years gambling with my life, I decided I wasn't willing to gamble with my livelihood.

Charlie is shown sinking the final solid ball while there are three striped balls still on the table. He takes his cue stick and points toward a corner pocket.

Charlie: That ball's going right in here.

Derek: I bet it is.

Charlie aims in such a way that the ball bounces off the rail, crosses the table, bounces off the other rail, and backspins into the pocket that Charlie called.

Derek: Holy hell, Dad. I never had a chance.

(confessional) Derek: I knew all my life that my dad was a pretty good pool player, but never like this. I guess he's been going easy on me for a long time

The camera shows Charlie and Derek packing up ribs and a few bottles of Pepsi to take back to camp; it then switches to the two of them arriving at camp, where some members of the tribe seem to be asleep already. However, Paula is still there to greet them.

Paula: Hey guys, what do you have for us?

Charlie: Who said anything about you guys? This is all for us!

At the same time. Derek wraps his arms around Paula, lifting her off the ground.

Paula (still wrapped up): I'm happy to see you too.

(confessional) Paula: I'm the closest thing to a mother that Derek has, and he really counted on a relationship between me and his father. The problem is, when it comes to dating, Charlie needs to take a few tips from his son.

Derek: There are ribs in the basket, enough for all of us. We thought we shouldn't have all the fun.

Charlie: Come on, son, you ruined it.

Derek: As if I'm really keeping perfectly good food from Paula.

(confessional) Charlie: I've never seen Derek so attached to anyone. Usually he doesn't trust anyone who shows interest in me.

Angakauitai Island, Maui camp, Day 32. The tribe awakens and has begun to dig into the basket with ribs and Pepsi.

Danni: And let me guess, Charlie wanted to keep these all for himself.

Derek: Of course not. You guys would have had one to share.

Danni slaps her knee laughing at Derek's comment, getting barbecue sauce on her leg.

(confessional) Derek: I'll make no secret that I'm trying to charm Danni. I am very attracted to her. It's a little sad, sure, and I'm probably not her type, but a man can dream.

Paula: So Derek, how do you like it here?

Derek: And you guys have been out here for how long?

Terry: Thirty-two days.

Ozzy: Which is long enough.

Charlie: Yau-Man tried to give me a car.

(confessional) Derek: Say what? Someone tried to give my dad a car? I thought the car came later!

Charlie: Yau-Man and I are the only ones who never won a car in Survivor, so he tried to give the car he won to me.

Ozzy: He offered the same deal he did to Dreamz in Fiji.

Derek: I assume you said no.

Charlie: How crazy do you think I am?

Derek: Well, that's good. We don't need a big, ugly truck anyway.

Cirie: Well, Derek, it wasn't a big, ugly truck.

Derek: Well, it's not like you turned down an Escalade or anything.

The tribe gets eerily silent.

(confessional) Derek: My dad said no to a f---ing Escalade. And now Yau-Man, who's the only guy out here who looks dumber in an Escalade than my dad does, owns it.

Jeff arrives at camp on a speedboat and walks up to the tribe and Derek.

Jeff: Hey guys. Derek, how is it out here?

Derek: Aww, come on, don't tell me I have to go back already.

Charlie: Let him stay and be an extra vote.

Ozzy: OK, Jeff, get this guy out of here.

(confessional) Charlie: Jeff seemed to get here awfully early, and I didn't think I was done.

Derek says goodbye to the Survivors one at a time, and the camera shows him at Danni, where he embraces her tightly and she does the same for a short time.

(confessional) Danni: I thought Derek was going to break me in half. He's a big guy who doesn't seem to know his own strength. In that case, I'm glad Charlie and I didn't say anything about us being together out here.

The camera shows him saying goodbye to Paula; Charlie is standing to Paula's right. Derek is holding Paula even more tightly.

Derek: You and Dad go all the way. I love you guys.

(confessional) Paula: Derek will have a hell of a time getting past the idea that his dad and I are a couple. I feel sorry for him.

Finally, Derek embraces his father, and before leaving, he gives his father a noogie and heads to the boat.

(confessional) Charlie: I had so much that I wanted to tell Derek that I just couldn't. I couldn't tell him about me and Danni, because there would just be too much to explain. I wouldn't even get to the best part of the story before he went into a violent rage.

Derek gets on the boat, still waving goodbye.

(confessional) Charlie: The whole thing between me and Danni is an act. We're both just pretending to be a couple.

Charlie (to Danni, in private): How much longer do we have to do this?

Danni: As long as you want, big guy.

(confessional) Charlie: Danni broke up with her boyfriend before the show, and she had this great idea for me and her to pretend we were a couple. We were a hot-shot alliance of two to everyone, when really, Paula was our third. That way, we just get to the final five, let everyone think they're getting rid of us, and then we surprise them. The fact is, Danni's a great girl, and I will always be friends with her, and I wouldn't mind it a bit if she started dating my son.

The camera shows Charlie, Danni, and Paula in a separate part of camp chatting away from the others.

(confessional) Charlie: But when it comes to romance, the other part of the act is that I was just pretending about my dates with Paula being a failure. We're very much in love, and I know it kills both of us to put on an act like this.

Images of Charlie carrying Danni back to camp on his back dominate the screen as it cuts to commercial.

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08-13-07, 11:04 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 13 - "Jeff, You Have a Little Explaining to Do""
Danni............. had this great idea for me and her to pretend we were a couple. We were a hot-shot alliance of two to everyone, when really, Paula was our third.


Paula ............ We're very much in love, and I know it kills both of us to put on an act like this.


color=purple]Handcrafted by RollDdice

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08-13-07, 08:42 AM (EST)
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3. "Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 13 - "Jeff, You Have a Little Explaining to Do""
Blog Entry, 05/09/2008
Authored by: Rob Howard, maizeandblueblades

For those who don't watch the show, let me introduce myself. I am Rob Howard, Derek Forrest's roommate, teammate, and friend. I was the guy who almost got the game-tying assist in the national championship game, except Forrest screwed it up. The guy needs to stick to beating people up on the ice. But I know how hard it was on him missing that shot, and I've seen the funk he's been in since April.

I've also never seen him or anyone else even half as happy as he was last night watching the show. Now, I don't watch the show, but when I heard Forrest hollering and jumping up and down like he just won the national championship and scored with a supermodel at the same time, I had to figure out what the hell was going on.

When he finally got up and stopped running in circles on the floor like he's John Travolta in Grease, he was still way too incoherent to tell me what the big deal was. So Johnson, our other roommate and our line's right-winger who actually does watch the show, told me all about how his dad's not dating the girl Forrest has a crush on and it's all an act, and Forrest's dad is actually with the lady that Forrest thinks is his mom...I don't know what the hell all of this means, but if it means Forrest stops sitting around the apartment all day playing Xbox and eating Cheetos, then I'm all for it.

Oh yeah, and I answered his cell when they said that the cops in South Carolina arrested that crazy bitch claiming to be his mother. I don't think that my body could withstand the amount of drugs I would have to use to be even a tenth as happy as Forrest was when he heard all of this. And frankly, Johnson and I were pretty pleased with this. If I never see another one of those DVDs and boxes of pictures of that psycho bitch's naked, hideous body again, it will be far too soon; in fact, I think I'm going to go take a shower and cleanse myself after thinking about her.

And then I'll go blind myself with a cattle prod. Catch you later.

Back from commercial.

Angakauitai Island, Maui camp, Day 33. Charlie, Danni, Cirie, and Paula are all in conference while Ozzy is out catching fish and Terry is still asleep.

Cirie: I think it's time to cut Ozzy loose.

Charlie: I really hate to do that.

Cirie: If we don't, he keeps winning immunity, and he steps all over our final four.

Paula: I hate to vote the guy off so soon, What about Terry? He's probably got a lot in reserve.

Danni: What do you have against Terry, anyway?

(confessional) Cirie: I've tried to plug this idea of getting Ozzy out of here. I'm thinking that a final four of me, Danni, Charlie, and Paula is very advantageous. That and I honestly don't think I can beat Ozzy. I can probably take anyone else.

Paula: I have nothing against Terry, but if he wins the next few immunities, we're in trouble.

Cirie: And he goes to the end with one of us, and we win.

Danni: Honestly. He's my best shot, so I'm happy to keep him around.

(confessional) Danni: I guess my ideal final two opponent is Terry if I want to win, but if I'm playing for Charlie, I'll take him to the end and beg for a few mercy votes. Maybe if I get enough, I'll trick people into voting me another million.

The camera switches to Ozzy coming out of the water and talking to Paula.

Ozzy: It's about high time we cut Cirie.

Paula: Wait, why Cirie?

Ozzy: She's the best player left, and if she reaches the end, she wins.

Paula: I can see that, but how do we convince Charlie and Danni to go along with it?

Ozzy: You're tight with them; you know how they tick.

(confessional) Ozzy: I've always been a little suspicious that Paula's been close to Charlie and Danni, and I think I'm right. I go along with it because Paula watches my back, but come the final four or five, I have to make sure to split the three of them up any way I can.

The camera switches to Manui Island, Day 33. The tribe rows in to meet Jeff.

Jeff: Come on in, guys!

The tribe takes its place on the red tribal mat.

Jeff: First thing's first - Charlie, give it up.

Charlie hands over the immunity necklace, and Jeff puts it back on the pole.

Jeff: Once again, immunity is back up for grabs. So far, the immunity challenges have covered every season except three. Today's challenge will, fittingly, bring that number to two.

The camera focuses on the Survivor: Vanuatu flag in front of six tall poles.

Jeff: You will climb these ladders and get a grip on these poles, and then you will hang on for as long as you can. Once you fall off or touch the ground, you're out. The last person still on the pole wins immunity and is guaranteed a one-in-five shot at a million dollars. Also, unlike the last time we did this challenge, you are allowed to hang over the top. However, the tops are jagged, rough, and very unpleasant, so we don't recommend it. Ozzy, do you want to use your advantage?

Ozzy: No thanks.

Jeff: Let's see what you passed up.

The envelope Jeff opens says "USE GRIPPING GLOVES AND PADS."

Jeff: OK, everyone take your spots; wait for my go.

The Survivors climb up their ladders and try to get comfortable.

Jeff: OK, the challenge begins in three, two, one...and we're underway. Remember, grip any way you can.

The poles appear to be about 25 feet tall and have ridges every five feet or so. In the beginning, everyone but Ozzy and Danni are making use of the ridges.

Jeff: Be sure to get comfortable; you could be up here a while. Charlie, how are you holding up?

Charlie: Times like these I wish my left hand worked like the rest of my body.

Jeff: Paula, any problems?

Paula is down to her bathing suit and no shoes; the bathing suit was one-piece at the start of the season and has since been cut into two pieces.

Paula: Yeah, why do these people think they have a chance against me?

Ozzy: You're delirious, Paula. I think you need to step down and have some water.

Paula: After you, hot shot.

Danni: You guys go ahead and step down; it makes my job easier.

Jeff: Mine, too.

Elapsed time: 9 minutes. Cirie is struggling mightily, and Terry is halfway down the pole.

Jeff: We have four people toward the top and two who look like they're more comfortable in the middle.

Terry: I like it here.

Jeff: So being at the top is not a priority?

Terry: Not at all.

Jeff: Cirie, what about you?

Cirie: Hey, I'm holding on just--

Cirie loses her grip and slides down the pole, landing on her butt.

Jeff: Cirie not holding on. Have a spot on the side.

Cirie: Damnit.

Jeff: Five people remain, and we're about ten minutes in. This could be a long challenge, or it could be very quick.

Elapsed time: 22 minutes. The story is still the same, with Terry a little further down the pole.

Jeff: Paula, you still holding up all right?

Paula: Never better.

Jeff: Charlie, what about you?

Charlie: My back itches.

Jeff: Ooh, that's no fun.

Charlie: Anyone else have some unscratchable itch?

Paula: Don't even try it, Charlie.

Charlie: Come on, I bet you guys have that itch that just won't go away no matter how many times you flex your muscles. Ozzy, I think for you it's on the back of your knee.

Ozzy: Nice try, Charlie. Let me know how it goes scratching your back.

Jeff: Terry, what about you? Any itches?

Terry: Yeah, an itch not to listen to Forrest yak about itches.

Terry drops from the pole with little effort.

Jeff: Just like that, Terry is out of the challenge.

Terry: And I can scratch my back all I want.

Elapsed time: 45 minutes. All four remaining Survivors are still at the top of the pole, with Charlie appearing to struggle the most.

Jeff: We just passed 45 minutes. Two people were out quickly; how do you four feel?

Charlie: Like a beer would be a really good thing right about now.

Jeff: You think we're having temptations?

Charlie: Can't hurt to ask, can it?

Jeff: Only if it makes you break your concentration. What about you, Ozzy?

Ozzy: No problem at all, Jeff. But a beer right about now sounds good.

Jeff: Danni?

Danni: I'm light as a feather.

Jeff: Paula?

Paula: I'll pass on the beer, but an ice-cold Diet Pepsi sounds all right to me.

Jeff: I swore I wouldn't do this--

Jeff reaches down under his seat.

And he pulls out...


Jeff: So I won't. No temptations, guys.

Charlie: Well, what the hell.

All four Survivors continue to hang on tightly.

Elapsed time: 1 hour 12 minutes. Danni and Ozzy are still near the top; Charlie has slipped a little, and Paula has slipped some more.

Jeff: Paula, do you still think you're holding up OK?

Paula: No, not really.

Jeff: What happened?

Paula: The hell if I know; my butt must just be too big for this thing.

Danni and Charlie laugh at the comment; in her laughter, Danni starts to lose her grip.

Danni: Oh no.

Danni struggles to get her grip but begins to flounder; she falls down and barely stays above the bottom.

Paula: I dare say that's karma, Danni.

Danni quickly drops off the pole.

Jeff: Danni is out of the challenge.

Danni: I guess I need to rein in my laughing.

Paula: That's what you get for laughing at me.

Elapsed time: 1 hour 47 minutes. Ozzy is hanging on at the top; Paula is further down.

Jeff: Ozzy, are you finding this challenge easy?

Ozzy: I don't know about easy.

Jeff: Paula, you have your work cut out for you.

Paula: I have a lot more than that, Jeff.

Paula slips again, and her foot brushes the ground.

Jeff: Paula, your foot touched the ground. You're out of the challenge.

Paula: Damnit.

The camera focuses back on Ozzy and Charlie; Charlie is struggling, while Ozzy is not.

Jeff: So far, we have had three immunity challenges that played out to completion. Charlie won two of them and Ozzy won one. It comes down to the two of you again.

Ozzy: I'm not having a bit of trouble.

Jeff: Charlie?

Charlie: Damn, my hand--

Charlie releases with his left hand, falls down the pole, and lands on the ground.

Jeff: Charlie gave out; Ozzy wins immunity!

Danni and Paula help Charlie up by his right hand as he goes to clutch his left.

Jeff: Charlie, is your hand OK?

Charlie: I'll be fine.

Jeff: You will have to find a way to stay in the game whether your left hand is OK or not. Ozzy is the only one safe at tonight's Tribal Council. The rest of you need an idol. Head on back; I'll see you tonight.

Images of Ozzy hanging on and Charlie falling in pain dominate the scene as it cuts to commercial.

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08-13-07, 08:47 AM (EST)
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4. "Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 13 - "Jeff, You Have a Little Explaining to Do""
Blog Entry, 05/12/2008
Authored by: Laura Dean, sensitivenakedgirl

I actually got spit on today by that annoying little bitch from Westboro that's suing me for a buttload of money. Right in front of the judge. I remember that the security officers asked me about ten minutes later if I wanted to press charges against that fundamentalist tart. They had to wait because I was laughing too hard at Mrs. Phelps-Roper...oh, wait, she's off the prosecution team...I mean, Suckwad Shirley's poor attempt to assault me.

Needless to say, Miss Shirley's in a jail cell here in Princeton, and all her whack job friends are out protesting until she gets released. Frankly, it might be worth it to drop the charges to shut them the hell up, but then after this ridiculous farce of a lawsuit is dropped, they probably won't leave town until we run them out.

The judge already hates Burnett's entire legal team. Miss Shirley actually called the judge a whore to her face and told her that she was going to hell. I'm seeing a very quick dismissal of this ludicrous lawsuit, and as for our suit against Burnett...I'll settle for making him run that challenge, even on solid wood. As long as he's stripped down to his undies.

Back from commercial.

Angakauitai Island, Maui camp, Day 33. The tribe is arriving back at camp, and Ozzy hangs up his immunity necklace.

Charlie (to Danni): Cirie or Terry?

Danni: Terry isn't beating anyone.

Charlie: Cirie then?

Danni: Sounds good.

(confessional) Charlie: Since the beginning of the game, I was in an alliance with Cirie, but it comes to that time where she's no longer useful.

Paula (to Danni): I'm thinking it's time for Terry to go.

Danni: Why Terry?

Paula: Who are you planning on voting for?

Danni: Cirie; why?

Paula: Cirie won't win anything. All we have to do is get Terry out and beat Ozzy, and we're in the final three without a fight.

(confessional) Danni: Terry's my shot at winning this game. I have to keep him. It's making me wish I could just cut my alliance loose.

Paula: Terry could win immunity.

Danni: What has he won so far?

Paula: What did he win on his season?

Danni: He wasn't playing Ozzy and Charlie. Ozzy won immunity twice. How many challenge has Cirie won?

(confessional) Paula: I tried to convince Danni that Terry needed to go, but it looks like they'll be a harder sell than I thought.

Paula (to Ozzy): Hey, you don't want to go against Terry, do you?

Ozzy: I was planning on voting out Charlie, to be honest. Isn't that the logical move? He'll kill all of us in the final vote.

Paula: Charlie won't reach the final vote. We can cut him loose later. Terry's a danger.

Ozzy: Terry's won nothing.

Paula: Charlie's in a lot of pain. He can't play through it for that much longer. He's out at the final four, probably.

(confessional) Ozzy: OK, so no one's voting out Charlie. No one ever wants to vote out Charlie. I guess they want to vote out Terry. I'd say it's OK as long as it isn't me, but it won't be me; I have immunity.

Paula (to Cirie): We want Terry gone.

Cirie: It makes all logical sense to vote out Terry.

Paula: Just admit you have a score to settle.

Cirie: OK, that too.

(confessional) Cirie: I will definitely take a lot of pleasure in voting out Terry. He beat me last time, and I'm about to beat him.

The camera switches to Terry digging in the sand near the fire pit.

Terry (to himself): The clue said it was around here.

(confessional) Terry: I get a pretty good idea I'm next, just as the odd man out. Paula's ready to sell me down the river, Charlie and Danni have nothing to do with me, Cirie's tight with Charlie and Danni, and Ozzy has immunity.

Terry stops momentarily.

Terry (under his breath): Pace out once as a ray of light from the flame.

(confessional) Terry: The idol clue was pretty descriptive. It still didn't turn up much. I was sure I was looking in the wrong place.

The camera switches to Terry continuing to dig, creating a large hole in the sand as Ozzy looks on.

Terry: Don't worry; I don't have it.

Ozzy: I know.

(confessional) Ozzy: Terry basically spent all afternoon frustrating himself in search of the idol. Maybe he should have cut deals or something. That is, if he even knows how.

The camera shows Terry continuing to search and then goes to a sunset over the horizon as the six remaining Maui are shown walking into Tribal Council carrying their unlit torches.

Each Survivor takes a seat after putting their torches in the holder behind them, and the camera switches to Jeff.

Jeff: We will now bring in the jury. Jonathan, Harriet, Tom, Twila...and Yau-Man, voted out at the last Tribal Council.

Yau-Man looks cleaned up and shaved, but he is still dressed in similar clothing to when he was on the island, albeit cleaned.

Jeff: I'll start with you, Ozzy. You're the only one here going in with a guaranteed one-in-five shot at winning this game. Everyone else is looking at worse odds. Does your status as the only immune player affect how you're voting?

Ozzy: To be honest, Jeff, I'm going in here completely out of power. I don't have an idol, and I don't have much of an alliance left to speak of. I found myself in an alliance of six just four days ago, and it's all been ripped out from under me. Maria got taken out on a stretcher, Twila lost on an idol bounce, and Yau-Man's boot must have fractured the alliance.

Jeff: Who of the six is still in the game?

Ozzy: Myself, Paula, and Terry. Paula's playing her own game independent of me, and Terry's a swing vote.

Paula: If I may say something, Jeff. I've kept Ozzy in the loop. I've made sure he understands what's going on. I am very much with him, and I've told him I intend to do whatever I can to get him into the final four.

Jeff: But once the final four hits, everyone's on their own?

Paula: At worst, I can try to force a tie and keep him in the game. I'm honestly not worried about it, since I imagine he wins immunity going to the end. If I want to win this game, I have to make sure people respect my game more than they do his. The road to a million dollars goes through Ozzy. All I'm doing is positioning myself in the spot to take it.

Jeff: Charlie, you're the only one here who's won an immunity challenge besides Ozzy. Is Paula's assessment correct?

Charlie: Absolutely. My biggest showdown will be over the course of the next three immunities. Between me and Ozzy, the vote against one of us is a ticking time bomb. It could be the next vote, or it could be the final three. What I do know is that whoever doesn't win is out when that bomb goes off.

Jeff: Cirie, is that a fair assessment?

Cirie: I think it's fair. Charlie might be too tough to keep around.

Jeff: Is there anyone here who's not tough?

Cirie: When it comes to challenges, that would be me.

Jeff: Is that a reason to keep you around?

Cirie: I think so. That and I am still useful.

Jeff: Paula, is it still important to be useful at camp?

Paula: It never hurts. I think we mostly pull our weight. Sometimes, some people slack off a bit, but it's not anything that's a deal-breaker with them being out here.

Jeff: Terry, is that a fair assessment?

Terry: Well, I know Paula's talking about me; she always says I don't pull my weight around camp.

Paula: You did at first, but you stopped. I can't figure that out.

Terry: I resent that.

Paula: You resent everything. I tried to bond with you earlier, and all you do is act like a total weirdo. It's like it's not even worth it to try to be friends with you.

Jeff: Danni, is that about what it's like at camp?

Danni: Terry can be a very hard person to live with. He thinks he knows everything, and he won't listen to anything other than what he believes he already knows.

Jeff: Ozzy, have you noticed this?

Ozzy: It's as clear as day that Terry's not exactly Mr. Popularity out here.

Jeff: Terry, are you aware of this?

Terry: People say that to me all the time, sure. Terry, you're hard to relate to. Terry, you're lazy. Terry, you're bossy. Terry, I don't like your political views. Terry, you're--

Charlie: Will you shut the hell up about politics, Deitz? We buried that a long time ago. Everything we say becomes null and void after about three days. Your problem is that you don't let anything go. Everything bad that happens to you just sits and stews until you're an unbearable jerk.

Terry: This guy is the same guy who wanted to be the provider after a heart attack, a hand injury, and an ego bruise.

Charlie: Damnit, I said that's in the past. It's dead. It's buried. My English bulldog listens better than you do, Deitz. Get your head in the game, let things go, and try to have some fun out here. What's the problem, Deitz? You're not winning? You don't have Aras to poke fun at anymore? What the hell's your deal?

Jeff: Terry, why dig up old bones?

Terry: What the hell's the difference? These people don't understand me anyway.

Jeff: We're about to find out if that's true. Ozzy, you have the immunity necklace; is there any chance of giving it up?

Ozzy: No way in hell.

Jeff: OK, Ozzy cannot be voted for; everyone else is fair game. It is time to vote. Cirie, you're up.

Cirie goes up to vote; the name she writes down is Terry's.

Cirie (to voting camera): This is for Exile Island.

Cirie goes back and sits down; the next to vote is Terry, whose vote is not shown.

After Terry, Ozzy goes to vote; his vote is not shown.

The next to vote is Danni, whose vote is also not shown.

After Danni, Paula votes; she sighs as she votes and shakes her head, but she does not reveal her vote.

The last to vote is Charlie, who votes for Terry but writes "Deitz" on the ballot.

Charlie (to voting camera): Hopefully you get past this vote quicker than our fight earlier. Peace.

Charlie goes back to his seat and sits down; the camera switches to Jeff.

Jeff: I'll go tally the votes.

Jeff goes to get the urn as the camera shows Terry; he appears defiant and unshaken. Soon, Jeff arrives to read the votes.

Jeff: Once the votes are read, the decision is final; the person voted out will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately unless someone plays an idol on their behalf. I'll read the votes.

Jeff reaches in and takes out the first vote.

Jeff: First vote...Deitz. That's one for you, Terry.

This is Charlie's vote reading with Terry's surname.

Jeff: ...Terry. Two votes Terry.

Cirie's ballot.

Jeff: ...Cirie. One vote Cirie, two votes Terry.

Terry misspelled Cirie's name as "Cerrie."

Cirie: How long have we been playing together and you can't even spell my name right?

Terry: Sorry.

Jeff: OK, guys, enough. Next vote...Terry. Three votes Terry.

The camera focuses on Paula.

Jeff: ...fourteenth person voted out of Survivor: All-Stars II and the sixth member of the jury...Terry. I will now check for idols.

Jeff picks up the urn and turns the side pouch toward the Survivors.

He undoes the flap on the side... falls in front of the Survivors...

...and there is an idol present.

Jeff: Someone played an idol. I will now check and see who it's for.

The idol is in the shape of a Panamanian voodoo doll, as the Exile Island idol was.

Jeff takes out the roll of parchment.

He unrolls it.

And he turns it toward the Survivors.

The handwriting on the parchment is thick and somewhat jerky.

The name "Cirie" appears on the parchment.

Jeff: This idol is played for Cirie; the vote against Cirie does not count. That's irrelevant, however; all five votes against Terry stand. Terry, you need to bring me your torch.

Terry turns around and grabs his torch without a word as he walks over and puts it in the holder.

Jeff: Terry, the tribe has spoken.

Jeff snuffs Terry's torch.

Terry walks off without even saying anything or looking back.

Charlie (muttering): Damn weirdo.

Jeff: For the first time, there are more people on the jury than still in the game. The power is gradually shifting over to the jury that will ultimately decide who wins a million dollars. How you position yourselves for that is entirely in your hands. Grab your torches; head back to camp. Goodnight.

The camera focuses on Paula grabbing her torch as she walks out of the Tribal Council area as the screen pans back to show the five remaining Maui with torches in hand leaving for camp.

Before the credits begin to roll, the screen fades to black.

On the black screen in white, stylized print, the screen displays the following message:

"This episode is dedicated to Jim Coddington, who passed away May 8, 2008 in Chapel Hill, North Carolina."

The screen switches to the following message:

"Our thoughts and prayers are with Jim's family, including castaway Paula Stanley, her sister, and her children."

The screen cuts to commercial.

REPORT: Burnett Lawsuit Dismissed, Countersuit To Be Considered

UPI News Service, 05/14/2008

Mark Burnett has gone from looking at a quick $10 million gain off a Survivor castaway and her loved one to looking at the business end of a countersuit that could be worth over $25 million.

Presiding judge Angela Garrett determined that the lawsuits against Maria Savovic and Laura Dean were "without merit" and "a waste of the court's time." Neither Savovic nor Dean will be required to pay even one penny to Burnett's production company or to their lawyers, as the judge ruled that all of their legal fees for this case to date were the responsibility of Burnett.

Shirley Phelps-Roper, who is presently being charged with assault for spitting on Dean in the courtroom and for hitting her with a sign reading "THANK GOD FOR BROKEN CHALLENGE SETS." Within hours, the website was vandalized with messages including "THE WBC SUCKS" and "45 MILLION STRONG," referring to the 45 million people who watched the May 8 episode of Survivor.

Westboro Baptist Church pastor Fred Phelps could not be reached for comment; however, he revealed his displeasure with an anonymous group that had egged his car and his church.

Back from commercial.

Jeff (voice-over): Next time on Survivor...there's one last immunity idol, and the search for it is intense.

(confessional) Charlie: I need this idol. Hell, everyone needs this idol.

Jeff (voice-over): The reward is the biggest one yet.

Jeff: This is even bigger than the car challenge. This makes the car challenge look weak.

Jeff (voice-over): And the claws come out as someone makes a dramatic decision.

(confessional) Cirie: At this point, my alliance is done with me, and I'm done with them.

Jeff: Stay tuned for an all-new CSI coming up next.

Terry (final words): I guess I was voted out for being a threat to everyone. It's not easy to stay in the game when everyone else is just out to cut people throats and party all the time. I can't exactly keep up, and after a while, I gave up trying. Now I'll see the game more from the jury side even than I did before.

5 votes Terry: Charlie, Cirie, Danni, Ozzy, Paula
1 vote Cirie: Terry
Cirie played an idol; the vote against Cirie did not count

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mattben 1265 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"

08-16-07, 05:53 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 13 - "Jeff, You Have a Little Explaining to Do""
this is a fun read, Colonel. Thanks.

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