LAST EDITED ON 02-20-07 AT 10:42 AM (EST)
I'm tired of the "Small town Sandy" and "Slacker Danny" names put on these people. Here's what I've come up with so far:
Kathleen- Spiritual Sandy? Nah. You remind me of a Stepford wife; you're pretty but everything about you seems too robotic. I dub thee "Stepford Sandy"
Kate- Serious Sandy? Get real. You may see serious to some, but some of us just call it "stuck up". I know you believe that you should have the part handed to you, and that anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot. I dub thee "Prima Donna Sandy".
Laura- Small town Sandy? Really? Since when did the suburbs of Minneapolis become small town? Let's see; Minneapolis, sweet, brunette. I dub thee "Mary Tyler Moore Sandy". (You go girl- I hope you win!)
Allie- Baby Sandy? Not anymore. Does anyone else notice how she still hunches her shoulders like she's 13, just got boobs and is ashamed of them? Your also pretty, but not beautiful- more like rodeo queen pretty rather than Miss America. Now you are "Lurch Sandy"
Ashley S-Ballarina Sandy? Try "Tammy Faye Sandy" on for size. Your overdone eyelashes are enough to scare small children.
Austin- Hot Danny? Bwahahaha!! You're more polished than the rest of them, I'll give you that; but you're also too old for the part, and a little too sleezy. Hmmmm, who does that remind me of? Old? Sleezy? I dub thee "Wayne Newton Danny".
Kevin- Bellhop Danny? Sorry 'bout that dude. Kind of hard to embrace that one isn't it? You can keep yours- you won't be around after next week anyway.
Maxx- Slacker Danny? Well, you seem intelligent, and you have underachieved in life so far so I guess it fits. It is kind of boring name though. Your mannerisms remind me of another underachiever in the reality TV genre who is dear to many of us, and like you got close enough to the prize to sniff it but came up short in the end. I dub thee "Cesternino, Danny"
Derek and Chad are left.