LAST EDITED ON 04-08-23 AT 05:10 AM (EST)Let’s just say S44 needs to change the name of the show this season from “Survivor” to “Carson.” With the pathetic job Production did with its bevy of debacles, it has provided more than enough bashing fodder for this season.
We kick off Ep. 6 at Tika where I’m still trying to wrap my mind around what the hell Yam-Yam, Carolyn and Josh were talking about. I suspect Yam-Yam was trying to teach Carolyn some Spanish words. I got lost when Carolyn was replying to Yam-Yam. The fact Carolyn interjected explains the confusion.
All three tribes get tree mail telling them to drop their buffs and go to another beach.
Jaime, who continues to be a legend in her own mind, dubs herself “MVP.” Little does she know “MVP” stands for Most Vulnerable Peon still coveting her fake idol.
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Josh reconfirms what a delusional ignorant dope he really is.
Yam-Yam is consumed with paranoia.
Carolyn, whose antenna struggles to pick up all the channels, experiences traffic frequency trying to decipher multiple voices in her head. Reminds me of “Friday the 13th” when Jason’s mom hears voices while going off on her killing spree. The difference here is with the mental midgets Production casted for this season, these Bozos will suffer enough SELF-INFLICTED wounds to mortally injure THEMSELVES.
She continues by telling us she “struggles with Hello.”
NOOOOOOOO REEEEEALY!!! LMAO!
Seriously, that was pretty obvious 10 seconds into the season. One thing she won’t struggle with is getting to the end game thanks to the fact, her elevator doesn’t exactly stop off at all the floors.
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Carson is stoked and looking forward to what the future holds. Carolyn and Yam-Yam are BEYOND lucky and fortunate to have Carson as their original Tika tribemate.
We see the dork-mance blossoming. What would be a high point moment in this horrible season is if Matt (professing his affections for Frannie) plays his fake idol on HER only for Jeff to announce, “This is NOT an II.” ROFLMAO!
All players come in for the challenge. Thank goodness we are not subjected to any nauseating embellishment when Jeff would have informed all who was voted out at last TC. Instead, Jeff explains the 12 will randomly draw a color from the bag and compete as two teams of six. No one can seek refuge on the Sandra Sit-out Bench.
Usually the most comical line(s) comes from Looney Tunes Carolyn; this episode it is Jeff when he states the two teams look “even.” In reality, any team with puzzlemeister Carson results in a major imbalance. But before the puzzle they must move heavy balls and get up a cargo net. During the ball rolling section, we hear Jeff’s play-by-play commentary as he informs us (who else but) Carolyn getting in the way. During the cargo net section, once again HUMILITY comes to the forefront.
Ms. MVP (Jaime) who blew enough sunshine up her backend at the beginning of this episode to melt the polar caps, struggles mightily to get up the nets. Heidi (who is just as short, if not shorter) didn’t seem to struggle. How bad was it for Jaime? She needed Carolyn to help her up. AHHH, yes...humility on Survivor is a glorious moment to watch unfold. LOL
Fortunately for Jaime, she has puzzle-solver Carson on the same team to save her sorry ass. Technically, it was the “team” of Matt and Carson who were the puzzle solvers. Although, in reality, while Matt was staring at a puzzle piece as if he was trying to prove Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, Carson had half the puzzle already solved. It was a runaway!
The validation of humility was so overwhelming for Jaime, Ms. “MVP” breaks down in tears.
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Before the challenge, when the colors were being drawn, Danny came up with yet another truthful quote this season proclaiming “luck” is definitely a factor in Survivor. It could not have rung any truer for Carolyn, Frannie, Jaime, Brandon, and Matt who should have formed a line and given big, fat, sloppy kisses to Carson for sparing them as potential boots at TC. Consequently, Heidi, Lauren, Danny, Josh, Kane, and Yam-Yam are vulnerable. Carson (and those who benefitted from him) headed for a merge feast.
The losers went back to camp where Yam-Yam laments he has “no hope.” But what he DOES have is Dr. Delusional. With Josh in the game, there’s always hope.
Back at the merge feast, Jaime is annoying as hell where her tears quickly turn into obnoxious high-pitched shrills of elation. Carson should have carried her to the feast since he carried/saved her in the challenge. The talk quickly turns to who should be voted out.
It’s mind-boggling we have SO much deliberation over the vote?? The weak caliber of castaways this season does not lend to the ADS as much as other seasons. I suspect Brandon may be the only potential ADS victim candidate by perception (since no one has stood out as physically dominating the challenges) but he is one of the six safe.
Josh is the obvious choice, but all are so worried about an II. So what?? With 12 attending TC, just split the bloody vote! They even had the benefit of Carolyn, once she adjusted her antennae, telling them Josh’s idol is a fake that was constructed with the tree mail beads.
The deliberation continues. Sweet Mother of Mercy!
Jaime is even present when Carolyn goes into detail about the fake “tree mail beads” idol that resembles the same idol Matthew duped her into finding...and it STILL doesn’t register with Jaime?!
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When the winners return and all 12 are together, we STILL watch a scramble. Josh is the prime candidate, but the back-up plan toggles between Yam-Yam and Kane.
Kane’s beside himself because he does not know the players who came over from the other tribes. That’s understandable, but what is inexcusable is when he admits he also “doesn’t know what the players are about” who he’s lived with for 13 DAYS!!!
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At TC, Yam-Yam beats himself up over “talking too much.” He explains to Jeff that’s simply the way he is even back in his “normal life.” Yep, you tell ‘em Yam-Yam; you are...who you are...who you are... Amidst all the rambling chit-chat, the camera continues to focus on Josh whose expression resembles that of a sentenced man seconds before placing his neck in a guillotine. (Acknowledging the heritage of my basher counterpart with that analogy.)
The most memorable TC moment for me was when Carolyn points to what looks like a medieval flail weapon right before she voted and stated she had one of those growing up. HEH??? Where/when did Production dig up this cuckoo bird? From the 15th Century?? Or perhaps, there may be something to the “Jason’s Mom” analogy???
In his parting words, Dr. Delusional utters some gibberish about how smart the remaining players were to eliminate a “threat.” * snort *
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Next Time on Survivor
Kane, who still probably “doesn’t know what the players are about” is by himself during what looks like an II scavenger hunt.
Matt and Frannie appear to be taking their dork-mance to the next level much to the chagrin of others with Frannie possibly solidifying herself as the next Nerd Pin-Up Girl.
Jeff babbles something about players will “have no say who goes home.”
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