LAST EDITED ON 03-31-23 AT 07:53 AM (EST)This season is shaping up to be scrapping the bottom of the barrel. I wouldn’t say worst-of-all-time, but certainly down in the bowels of the franchise.
We went back to only one challenge and no TC. That, in itself, is enough reason to appropriately call this episode a REAL turd.
Tika comes back from TC. Dum-Dum starts rambling something about “Roger Rabbit.” If you want to make an animal analogy, try this one—JACKASS! His thoughtless stupidity was a blessing for Josh & Carolyn. Their counteractions to Dum-Dum’s idiocy were so obvious even if Josh/Carolyn want to comically play it up as smart gameplay. About as brilliant as putting on your headlights while driving at night...
At Ratu, Matthew is complaining about his shoulder. Carson lends him a sympathetic ear and a compassionate hug. Carson continues to shine this season as he connects with Kane. This partnership was inevitable as they formed the Geek Squad discussing topics like Pokémon and Lord of the Flies. Boy oh boy, was I glad I tuned in for this episode * snort *
In an event, Carson is working it. He is shaping up to be the Jesse of last season—only better.
We go from a nerd-out at Ratu to the “dork magnets” at Soka, but not before Jaime becomes frustrated over Matt’s disinterest over anything she has to say. Sorry Jaime, Matt already grabbed his rebound. Matt went from kissing a fake idol two episodes ago to a warm embrace with his real rebound. Matt was the quintessential gentleman by asking Frannie if it was OK first. Although, I do not recall Matt extending the same courtesy to the idol.
This sappy interaction is followed by a Frannie confessional who is getting all hot and bothered over a potential date with Matt after the show. I guess part of “new school” Survivor is hearing the interviewer (Production) during a confessional. I understood hearing them while kicking-off the Premier when Carolyn sadly needed direction just to conduct an interview, but it happened again during Frannie’s confessional asking if she was blushing.
Actually, it was an understandable question to ask upon noticing her face was red given all the nasty blemishes on the girls’ faces this season. Proactive should consider being a new sponsor for Survivor with those facial blotches we’ve seen thus far. Needless to say, HDTV has NOT been kind to the female castaways this season.
Back at Tika, Dum-Dum and Dr. “Bitch-Face” attempt to kiss and make up. I should qualify that as “figuratively,” because Dum-Dum is a married man. They both bond over “coming out of the closet.” Production uses this gay befriending of sorts to do an up close and personal on Josh’s past.
We are informed of Josh defying the odds of all the medical and health disorders plaguing his early life to become a surgeon. These vignettes are what I refer to as the acronym SSUCAP. (Swan Song Up Close And Personals.) It’s Production’s way of making the viewers feel compassion for its poor casting decisions right before their torches are snuffed. So, I’m preparing myself for a Josh boot.
Halfway through this episode, FINALLY a challenge. Oh yes, before the challenge, we need to get a “first look” at the “new” Tika tribe—Sarah voted out at last TC. Edvard Munch’s “The Scream” took a break this episode as Frannie’s mouth stayed shut; but you’d swear she was suffering from TED (Thyroid Eye Disease) as her eyeballs bulged out from their sockets over a player (Sarah) she hasn’t had a morsal of interaction with this season. Perhaps, Tepezza can join Proactive as new sponsors. * snort *
The tiniest Survivor (Heidi,) once again, stepped up to compete while other females joined IR Matthew on the Sandra Sit-Out Bench. The challenge outcome was predictable with Tika losing AGAIN. And this was with Dr. Josh’s surgical hands failing him. Oh, I forgot...he’s not a surgeon...he’s a physical therapist...
To cement this episode as a REAL turd, we have ANOTHER excursion to Journey Island. This is really getting ridiculous! Brandon, Danny, and Carolyn are chosen. The excursion involved NO advantages and NO penalties; just an eating binge and a meet-and-greet/get-to-know each other.
Previously, we were shown how Danny’s wife just gave birth to his daughter four months ago. He emotionally tells us how he can’t wait to hold his daughter. Understood, but Danny Boy...how about a little love for the misses?? This woman carried your child for nine months, delivers the baby, and only four months in you decide to bolt and take part in a primetime TV competition?!
That could provide some explanation for ignoring Carolyn during the feast while establishing a firefighter/ex-pro athlete bromance with Brandon. Carolyn is agitated feeling like a “third turd,” but she really shouldn’t because all Survivor fans should be privy to the fact alpha-males are among the earliest post-merge Anti-Darwin Syndrome victims. This certainly puts any goat material like Carolyn in the clear.
I do give Carolyn props for how she handled the situation that obviously bothered her. She did give subtle hints to Danny and Brandon expressing her displeasure. Her efforts went over Danny’s head, but Brandon seemed to pick up on it. Brandon went so far to assure Carolyn, he wanted her around post merge. Of course, it would have been unwise to tell her he wanted to have Carolyn deep in the game as a goat, so he needed to come up with a convincing reason. This is when it REALLY got comical.
Brandon tells Carolyn he wants her around because “she’s proven herself in challenges?” The same Carolyn who “proved” she lost the first challenge this season for Tika (long pants notwithstanding??) The same Carolyn who “proved” she was outperformed with a slingshot by a one-armed competitor??? Had Brandon told Carolyn he wanted her around to gawk at her plastic boobies it would have been ill-advised...but at least honest.
Carolyn returns back to Tika seeing red. She’s now determined to join forces with the most ANTI-alpha male she can find. Fortunately for Yam-Yam, he fits the bill. But while Carolyn was away, Yam-Yam and Josh were having their “coming-out-of-the-closet” moment. Yam-Yam assured Josh he would NOT be writing down Josh’s name again. The same Yam-Yam who made an emphatic point of telling us he “HATES LIARS.”
When the three stooges reconvene, Josh shows them a fake idol he made from the tree mail beads (the same one Matthew made to dupe Jaime) that literally comes apart in Yam-Yam’s hands. You’d think it would stay intact since it was constructed by Dr. Josh’s “surgical” hands. No way I’d ever want this clown as MY surgeon. He compounds his ridiculous lie by showing the SAME idol message he previously showed Carolyn!
Even Dum-Dum figured out Josh’s idol was fake which does not say a whole lot for Jaime.
Yep, way to pick’em Production.
It appears Josh is toast at Tika’s upcoming TC, but Yam-Yam is not giving Carolyn any definite assurance causing Carolyn’s indecision to play her idol that she would like to have going into the merge.
All TC speculation becomes a moot point when a boat carrying Jeff arrives at Tika and the clock on my wall shows 8:55pm EST. The obvious is confirmed. Matthew is medi-vaced and Tiki is spared TC.
Next Time on Survivor:
The merge is here. Carolyn rants about “so many people.” I guess when the dumb decision is made to start off with only six and your tribe (that sucks in challenges) has dwindled to three, anything over half-a-dozen would seem like “so many.” LOL. Jaime and Carson’s Journey Island idols are invalidated. Danny still has his real idol and Carolyn keeps her idol she did not have to use when TC was cancelled. Matt and Jaime are coveting their fake idols. What becomes of Matthew’s idol? That question is the primary reason for me to tune in for Ep. 6.
Email this topic to a friend
Printer-friendly version of this topic
Bookmark this topic (Registered users only)
