LAST EDITED ON 10-21-16 AT 09:13 PM (EST)
The Palm trees are alive, with the sound of music...
That's right folks, music is in the air as is this broadcast. It is I King Gouldfish with, my very stylish pornstache, coming to you from my vantage point high above the island in the Goodyear Blimp. They actually pay me to advertise. Take that all you doubters.
Actually, because of the physical nature of electromagnetic radiation, the music has to be in the air. Or it could in space too, but, alas, we're not there so we don't really know. And I diverge.
Here we are once again in the island tree tops bringing you the latest, the greatest, and the most spotificular (not a typo) radiation you'll ever have banging on your eardrums. That's right, I'm banging!
Speaking of banging (hey, yo, dog, I am the segue man) let me reassure those of you that have been worrying about the safety of my nubile band of clothing optional (sex mandatory) super girl spies, (yes, THAT band, the Really Really Really Raunchy Spyletts from the Really Really Really REALLY Raunchy Spy Girl Finishing school of French Fetishes and Unneeded Body Hair Maintenance - more on that to come) who ventured out in the local typhoon to get this weeks spoilers for you, they are all safe. They got the goods, and returned safe and sound. Well, Mad Marie also brought back a pet sloth named CeCe that everyone adopted, so now we have to walk CeCe every day. CeCe is slow. So slow that we have to walk her in shifts, but she (yep, CeCe is a little girl sloth) is so cute that volunteers have not been hard to find.
Electro Buzz Feed Spoiler #1; Ok, there was one complaint from the girls. Someone needs to supply those poor hairy castaway souls with depilatories. Something. Razors, (don't forget the skin soothing and sweet smelling afterlotions - we likes us some sweet smells), wax and cloth strips, laser equipment, or something, anything to lose the stubble growing on everyone in the most intimate areas. It causes rashes on my girls, and as demonstrated in a previous season, a small infection can turn into an amputation really quick in these climes. Especially since the production team (looking at you Jeff) uses the upstream creek as their toilet. Yuck.
So, Jeff, do the right thing, OK? If you want to know the extent of my girl's powers of revenge, just talk to your boss. Ask to see his scars. In his private areas. Ask him how pitifully he cried when he thought he was going to lose everything in those areas.
Electro Buzz Feed Spoiler #2; The whole gang would like to congratulate Dave, the guy who's sacred of everything and everyone, for screwing up his courage and doing something that he knew was going to make everyone mad at him, and using the HII on Jessica. He does have balls. Somewhere. The fact that he didn't really gain an advantage, in fact that he lost having the advantage of having the HII doesn't take away from the courage he needed to use it. It just made him look stupid. Brave and Stupid.
Electro Buzz Feed Spoiler #3; The Nu-Green tribe has a not so secret weapon. The laser beam vision of Michaela. She said she was pissed, and Jeff said he could take it. I'm not so sure. I think his eyebrows will have to painted on every day for a while now.
Electro Buzz Feed Spoiler #4; Another Tylor-ism in regard to his justification of being in a relationship with Figgy Puddin';
"Us being a power couple isn't any different than two people who really like and trust each other."
OK, Taylor, we get it. You want that P**** (a Trump quote reference) so bad you can't even string a simple coherent thought together. Come on dude, you don't really have to keep trying. Us guys, we know how it is.
Electro Buzz Feed Spoiler #5; BTW, we are noticing that Michaela is the fire starter and challenge hero again? But one with a human side, who takes to the jungle and cries with humility and happiness that she could pull thru for her dear tribe, again.
Electro Buzz Feed Spoiler #6; Both Okies from Muskogee are cuddled up on the same tribe. Lot's of Locker Room banter going on between the two. Candle light crab boils. Midnight skinny dips in the ocean together. It just goes to show that there is always someone who can take this survival level island experience and turn it into a beautiful, heart warming thing. (No, Taylor, not talking about lust, talking about true Okie love).
Ok, so I took a little smoke from Tribe's stash. I have an Rx.