LAST EDITED ON 05-07-12 AT 10:36 AM (EST)
Previously on Survivor: Troyzan pouted and then is routed.
Tonight’s episode explores the burning question of who’s in charge. Which isn’t nearly as much fun as who’s on first.
Malicia starts us off with the declaration that she is on top, controlling everything, the most powerful player in the game.
Tree mail is another wonderful product placement, this time for Sprint, obviously introducing the infamous ‘loved ones’ episode. Among other revelations garnered from the Sprint videos is that Kat’s cousin Robby is the most important person in her life. We’ll learn more about that a little later.
The reunions are, of course, filled with tears and hugs, some funny bits and some odd things. Kim has her older sister. Christina’s dad, who had kidney surgery a year earlier, runs out to his daughter, as does Chelsea’s dad with the comment, “You look so tan.” Chelsea’s reply, “It’s dirt, it’s not tan.”
Sabrina is joined by her brother Tony, Malicia gets her sister Leticia who reveals that their family expresses their affections through sarcasm. I reckon this means that Malicia is frickin’ head over heels in love with Christina.
The appearance of Kat’s cousin Robby causes Kat to drop to her hands and knees and crawl towards him before leaping into his arms and winding her legs around his waist. They next engage is a little slap and tickle while screeching at each other at a pitch only dogs can hear. Kat tells us again Robby is the most important person in her life because he pushes her and they live together, work together, and breathe together. This profession of adoration sort makes Tarzan’s reunion with his wife of 30 years a little anticlimactic.
Reward challenge consists of the loved ones being roped to their survivor and having to work themselves through a long knotted rope course. Predictably, Tarzan and his wife along with Christina and her dad fare poorly, as do Sabrina and her brother. The other pairs are pretty evenly matched, but Robby and Kat make it through first. Kat celebrates by squealing “I won one, come on guys, I won one” while her cousband dry humps her.
Kat is then given the opportunity to choose two more pairs to join her. Well, let’s see, that certainly wouldn’t be Kim, who broke her word to take Kat on the last reward, or Malicia, who did get to go on that last reward. Oh, wait, it IS Kim and Malicia. You see, Kat can’t be bothered with stuff like strategy, or garnering favor and jury votes, or who might deserve a little time with family. That would get in the way of the important stuff, like, like, getting wasted with the two girls she wants to party with. (Although, to hear Kat whine later, you wonder why she would want to hang out with an ancient crone like 28 year old Kim.) Anyhow, sure hope Kat enjoyed her million dollar margaritas.
Kat and her homies spend the afternoon eating, drinking, belching and congratulating themselves for being in the Final Three. Back at camp Sabrina, Chelsea, Tarzan, and Christina discuss how awful Kat was for who she took on reward, and also how popular she is with the guys on the jury. Both of which seem to be good reasons to vote her off immediately.
Now, to revisit that “who’s in charge” question. Even though it seems to make sense to take out Kat, everyone wants to check in with Kim before making a final decision. Tarzan will later refer to Kim as ‘boss lady’ when he asks her to just tell him who to vote for.
Immunity challenge requires the survivors to stand on a log while holding onto a bar behind their backs. A rope from the bar is wound around a winch and Jeff periodically lets out a little more slack which causes them to lean further and further out over the water. Sabrina continues her pattern of sucking at challenges by being the first to go, followed by Tarzan, Malicia, Chelsea, and Christina.
At this point Kat starts whining, “I just want to win this one. Kim wins all of them. Come on Kim.” But big meanie Kim just keeps hanging on and Kat takes the fall of shame. She then proceeds to pout like a five year old (or Troyzan), keeping her back turned while Jeff awards the necklace and slapping Kim’s hand away when she wants to give her a high five.
‘Who’s in charge’, part trois, comes when Kat tells Malicia, “It’s amazing how we control the show. This game is our game.” Malicia agrees but then confessionalizes that she is worried about Kat’s performance in challenges and so is willing to jump on the vote-Kat-out band wagon. The only hold out is Kim who thinks it makes more sense to take out Sabrina because she could potentially make a better case to the jury.
At Tribal Council Kat is taken to task for picking the wrong people for reward, for being a selfish 22 year old and for her reaction at losing the immunity challenge; which prompts Kat to retort, “Is this whole tribal council about me? Like, I had no idea that this was going to happen.” Yeah, cause Jeff never tries to stir things up at tribal council.
Jeff then leads the discussion around to what qualities the jury may look for, what may affect their decisions and that blindsiding someone could certainly lose their vote. Kat’s response to that is that a blindside would be pretty funny, and like, like pretty exciting. Asked to elucidate, she explains that blindsides are always fun and exciting, like you’re, you know, like (here she makes the Will and Grace Antiques Road Show face). In one of the most classic statements in Survivor history she then says, “I always get excited if something like that goes down. If it does, cool beans, if it doesn’t, touché.” (to steal a phrase, I do not think that word means what you think it means.)
Kat should really have been paying more attention. We’ve established that karma is alive and well and living on Survivor beach and that she doesn’t like pouters. But Kat is 22 years old and clueless and the look on her face is priceless as Jeff calls out her name over and over and over and over. She looks around at her final three in dismay, none of whom will look her in the eye, and then sobs her way down the path to loser lodge.
During her final confession she’s still sobbing over the unfairness of being voted out before Christina and Tarzan. She concludes with, “I’m gonna beg Jeff to let me play again so I can redeem myself.” And I really think she means immediately.
Next on Survivor, Tarzan breaks out his plan to get into the Final Three. Could he actually pull off the ploy that pink panty Phil tried? “I acted crazy to get you all to bring me along to the end and that’s a legitimate strategy.” With all the men on the jury and Kat so pissed off, could it work?