Moe DeInfo here with (all together now)...Mo de Info!!
And it's Sluts On Parade" nite tonite. Actually, here at the Really Raunchy finishing school for properly Raunchy girls, our sluts are always on parade, but after getting the newest and most soiled spoilers from the ever more aptly named "Survivor - One World", the enthusiasm has risen to the degree that they decided to have a formal "Sluts on Parade" nite. Just for me. And a couple hundreds of their most loyal fans, including the Mexican army, the Border patrol, the 101st parachute regiment of the American army (slogan - "their chutes always go off") and the still living populations of local villages.
And since it's also Cinco de Mayo, all the jury members at the Ponderosa are invited to provide the heavy lifting involved in carrying in all the tequila we will need as well as providing the bartending, cabana boying, and whatever else the girls have a need for. Except for Kat who has been undergoing initiation in to the Raunchy Girl freshman class, and will not be able to stand for a week or so. Convenient, because on her back is where she'll be doing all her learning.
But enough about us and our piddling activities, here are the latest and greatest from the monkey agents on Survivor island, provided on cuneiform tablets and floated across the sea to us on on the backs of sperm (hee hee) whales.
Spoiler #1: Kim complains that the beardies were held much to early, and that if they were held now, now that her moustache has really begun to mature, that she would have a better chance. However, in the hopes that there will be a follow up contest of who has the best tan, she has been spending all her extra time in the sun.
She would win hands down.
Spoiler #2: They thought it was thunder, they thought maybe it was an earthquake. Maybe an asteroid impact. But no, all it was just the sound of Alicia's hydraulic bikini bra breaking.
Spoiler #3: Spoiler alert: Tarzan will be voted hairiest woman on the island.
Spoiler #4: Little Leif misses his little supply box bed, and sneaks in under the cover of darkness every night to sleep there. (OK, NOW I'm finished with little jokes. Maybe).
Spoiler #5: Kat is afraid that she'll be known as the most naive Survivor in Survivor history. She has no worries, Eric and James still come in as No 1 and No 2.
Spoiler #6: Sabrina sells sea shea shells...er... Sabrins shells she sails...er...Shibrina shoots shallow shores...(crap. Forget it. Pour me some more Cinco de Mayo Tequila, por favor).
Spoiler #7: Oh Yeah. Sluts on Parade. I was going to get to that, wasn't I. Well, stay tuned for "Survivor, Sluts on Parade". Because the cat fighting is just beginning, there will be sand fighting, Kat-less (unfortunately) cat fighting, hair pulling, breast gouging, bikini suit tearing off, eye gouging. And that's just what the camera will catch Probst doing, the girls even get more intense.
The following week promises to be even better, (Hint - Lesbo's do the Limbo).
TribePhil Phills Phore phantastic sea snails spells smells...Aw crap!