Previously on Survivor:
A long-suffering audience is treated to the sight of Colon being stroked and petted by Malicia while they both behave like total Heathers to Christina. And no one else in the MoanOhMe tribe had the common decency, or the cojones to tell them to STFU. Colon goes so far as to tell Christina that he doesn’t care how she leaves the game; she can be voted out, quit or be medevac’d out.
Apparently Christina is rubber and Colon is glue since his curse bounced off her to slap him in his whiny face. Which leaves aforementioned audience to conclude that karma really is a b!tch. But one with a highly developed sense of justice and timing.
At tribal council Kat worries that appendicitis is contagious and the rest of SoLongy ponders whether Malicia is telling the truth about the HII being gone.
Then came the long awaited merge and MoanOhMe is brought back from the Isle of Misfit Toys to rejoin SoLongy.
Tonight we find out that’s something Troyzan has been waiting for, Jonas makes friends by giving away his share of the booze at the merge feast, and Malicia tells us the backstabbing is about to begin as she contemplates returning to her grrl power alliance.
Troyzan has clearly been influenced by Colon’s hero worship so he suggests that the merged tribe should be called Tiki Ano or Year of the Gods.
Jonas shows off his culinary skills with a pan of coconut and a cooking lesson worthy of the Food Network and his team mates all agree that they’re glad he’s there. Foreshadowing much?
Jay quickly explains to Tarzan that one merged tribe doesn’t mean that they share anything that SoLongy won while they were split up. This leads Tarzan to confess that he’d been hoping for a resurgence for his boy power alliance, but that hope was as nonexistent as his morning coffee.
But Tarzan doesn’t let that slow him down and hightails it to Michael to let him know that boy power rules and all the boys are in on the plan. Plus they have Malicia ready to jump ship. Michael smiles and agrees with everything Tarzan says while telling the camera he doesn’t like Tarzan or his posse and doesn’t trust them.
Reward challenge divides the merged tribe into two teams who will run an obstacle course to dig up bags of puzzle pieces and assemble them in order to win pizza and beer and a secret note.
The Blue Team consists of Tarzan, Michael, Jonas, Lief, Kat, and Kim while the Orange Team is made up of Troyzan, Sabrina, Jay, Alicia, Christina, and Chelsea.
The Blue Team employs the interesting strategy of sending Lief out first in a challenge that requires the first person to dig a hole under a rail fence and crawl through it. Of course this requires each additional person on their team to waste time by having to further enlarge the hole. Lief complicates things even more by choosing to crawl through the tiny hole on his stomach.
The Orange Team is winning handily until Sabrina has trouble getting under the fence, digging up the bag and getting back. It comes down to Troyzan and Christina as puzzle solvers taking on Tarzan and Jonas. Jonas invites Tarzan to jump in and help while Jeff tells us that success requires communication. (swats at the foreshadowing) The Orange Team pulls out the win and Lief collapses in a dejected heap.
The Orange Team enjoys pizza, beer, a few burps, and the secret information that another idol is hidden back at camp. Chelsea indicates that SoLongy2.0 is sticking together by confessing that ‘they’ need the idol to keep the numbers.
Back at camp Jonas offers to discuss strategy with Michael who tells him that Tarzan has already explained the boy power alliance and seems confused about why Jonas wouldn’t know that. Jonas scurries off to harangue Tarzan about the inadvisability of spilling the beans to someone they’re unsure of, and by the way, why is Jonas the last to know anything, and is being made to feel he’s not part of the group. Tarzan thinks that sounds like the best plan he’s heard all day and since there’s so much confusion he’s just gonna take his marbles and leave the group, cuz they can’t remember the brilliant plans he told them only days before anyway. And while he’s at it he explains that he never liked Jonas and he can’t stand to ‘look at that face anymore’. Since Tarzan says this while bending over, butt to camera and giving us all yet another hammock shot this viewer was left wishing she could look at any face (world’s ugliest dog, a zombie, an Angler fish) if it would keep her from having to see that ever again. Michael wanders by just in time to savor the havoc caused by his little stint as tattletale.
The next morning Troyzan is up early and decides to go idol hunting while the rest of the group sleeps the day away. He’s had his eye on a couple of big trees and sure enough he soon ‘stumbles’ on the latest hidden idol.
Jeff welcomes the group to the first post-merge immunity challenge, asks for the new tribe name, and an explanation for what it means, and unveils this year’s immunity necklace, which seems to be composed of a monkey skull surrounded by a boar’s tusk with a tasteful arrangement of painted bones and cords.
The challenge is a retread that requires the survivors to balance on a log while holding a disk on which they will balance balls. They can’t drop a ball, let the disk touch their body, or fall off the log.
Tarzan immediately falls off the log while everybody else makes it to the first break and gets to hear Jeff tell them it’s time to grab a second ball. Somewhere Colon is sobbing at the injustice.
Christina is out, Michael’s balls finally drop, Chelsea and Kim go.
Jeff tells everybody to grab their balls (shut UP Colon) and they add a third ball to their disk. Malicia goes down, as does Jay. Jonas is out, Sabrina, Lief, and Kat follow and Troyzan now has immunity out the wazoo, but he’s just giddy with delight that Jeff Probst is touching him.
In various huddles Chelsea and Jay, Sabrina and Kim, and Kim and Alicia all determine that Jonas is perceived as the biggest threat from MoanOhMe even though they love his cooking. However, Troyzan is not on board with this plan and spills to Jonas who scrambles like he had fresh eggs. He goes so far as to apologize to Tarzan which brings the geezer to tears and puts together an alliance of Jonas, Tarzan, Lief, and Troyzan who will vote for Kat. Even though they still don’t seem to understand that 4 is not a majority of 12.
We’re then treated to a delightful day at the Tikiano Laundromat. Chelsea has spent hours scrubbing her clothes with sand and sea water and just wants to finish them off with a good rolling boil in a pot over the fire. All her hard work is for naught when Tarzan strolls by and drops his shorts into the pot. The shorts he earlier showed to Sabrina while he explained that the huge brown stains were from him sitting on the ground, not from poop. Tarzan is offended when Chelsea objects to his poop pants sharing the pot with her unmentionables. He’s even more offended when she abandons her fire watching duties and wanders off to puke.
At tribal council Jonas proves that he is indeed a threat by showing that he can count and realizes that his group doesn’t have the numbers. He tries to fix things by pointing out that Michael is a much bigger threat than he is and by the way, he’s a provider that you shouldn’t want out.
Tarzan chimes in to point out that Jonas is trying to throw Michael under the bus while throwing himself over the bus and why couldn’t he just stick to the plan. Jonas reveals that the plan was to vote out Kat who is horrified and demands that Tarzan tell her what she did to deserve such treatment. It’s not like she’s contracted appendicitis or anything.
Chelsea and Sabrina put in their two cents about Tarzan causing more friction around camp than Jonas. Tarzan admits that he’s not AS likable as Jonas. In spite of all this and Tarzan managing to confuse Jeff again the votes make Jonas the first jury member.
Jonas tries to take the high road by telling Tarzan ‘no hard feelings’ while offering to shake his hand. Tarzan replies ‘hard feelings to you’, so Jonas takes a last shot at hoping they sort out the poop situation.
This prompts Jeff to point out that if they’ll vote out someone who is considered to be likable, loyal, and a provider by almost everyone then no one is safe.
That seems to be a good call since next week’s teaser indicates that the female alliance may be alive and well and planning to take out Troyzan and/or Jay.
Now,go check out "Be The Survivor" hosted by RollDdice.
And have a go at this fun game. Other things that Tarzan is not AS likable as.