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"“Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “We Wish You a Tiki Año”"
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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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03-28-12, 11:03 PM (EST)
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"“Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “We Wish You a Tiki Año”"
With the departure of the Wicked Witch of the West Shore Golf and Tennis Club, the tribes have been shuffled more than Tarzan’s name cards for his tribemates. They fill out change of address notifications yet again, and go back to the beach where it all began.

Don your black armbands, help Dick Clark count down some balls dropping and wish everyone a Tiki Año.

At least the tribe wasn’t named after Ambuh’s favorite stuffed animal.



Mark "the Snark" Burnett
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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “... dabo 03-29-12 1
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “... agman 03-29-12 2
       RE: “Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “... suzzee 03-29-12 3
           RE: “Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “... agman 03-29-12 4
               RE: “Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “... caseymagoo 03-30-12 10
                   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “... agman 03-30-12 12
                       RE: “Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “... caseymagoo 03-30-12 13
                           RE: “Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “... agman 03-30-12 14
                               RE: “Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “... michel 03-31-12 17
 Koffee Klatch kingfish 03-29-12 5
   RE: Koffee Klatch Aruba 03-29-12 6
       RE: Koffee Klatch michel 03-31-12 18
           RE: Koffee Klatch Aruba 04-02-12 22
   RE: Koffee Klatch suzzee 03-30-12 7
       RE: Koffee Klatch agman 03-30-12 8
   RE: Koffee Klatch michel 03-31-12 19
       RE: Koffee Klatch kingfish 03-31-12 20
 Kim "The new Queen" suzzee 03-30-12 9
   RE: Kim "The new Queen" caseymagoo 03-30-12 11
       RE: Kim "The new Queen" agman 03-30-12 15
   RE: Kim "The new Queen" michel 04-01-12 21
 The Annual Beardies kingfish 03-31-12 16
   RE: The Annual Beardies Aruba 04-02-12 23
   RE: The Annual Beardies suzzee 04-03-12 24

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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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03-29-12, 00:27 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “We Wish You a Tiki Año”"
Tarzan has a lot to learn about throwing poop.


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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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03-29-12, 09:56 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “We Wish You a Tiki Año”"
And coffee etiquette! Who does he think he is assuming he can have some of our coffee!

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-29-12, 10:57 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “We Wish You a Tiki Año”"
He offered to use his bloomers for a coffee strainer, thus the skidmark.


I'll go bridal on your a$$

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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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03-29-12, 11:00 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “We Wish You a Tiki Año”"
He is just Vile, there's no other word for him!



I dun looked up that word to make sure I spelt it right!

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caseymagoo 59 desperate attention whore postings
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03-30-12, 01:59 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “We Wish You a Tiki Año”"
>He is just Vile, there's no
>other word for him!

Ray,
I fret that you dislike me and you know what that means, next week i shalt
1) pretend that you do not exist since all existence is in the mind or lack thereof of the beholder and speaking of beholder, behold I bring unto you this day good tidings of great joy
2) become your friend and drink your coffee
3) throw poopie pants into the pot.


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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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03-30-12, 02:27 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “We Wish You a Tiki Año”"
>Ray,
>I fret that you dislike me

Well think about it dude, ya can't even get my name right!



I guess in the name of good will, you can have the leftover grounds.

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caseymagoo 59 desperate attention whore postings
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03-30-12, 02:29 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “We Wish You a Tiki Año”"
Clay, you know I have Fantasia, it's not my fault I can't remember your name


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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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03-30-12, 03:50 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “We Wish You a Tiki Año”"
LAST EDITED ON 03-30-12 AT 04:22 PM (EST)

Okay Skidmarks, I'll cut you some slack, but you still get no coffee!

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-31-12, 06:00 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S24 Ep 07: “We Wish You a Tiki Año”"
Instead of cutting him some slack how about giving him some slacks? Seeing him in his underwear certainly isn't the beauty of the merge.

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-29-12, 12:21 PM (EST)
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5. "Koffee Klatch"
LAST EDITED ON 03-30-12 AT 11:40 AM (EST)

A mello hello to you all out in Survivor Spoiler fandom land from me, Moe deInfo, with (all together now...) MO' O' de Info! Yea!!!!

Do you often think that your spoilers should be a bit fresher? More dependable? Do you want your info sunny side up, with a side rasher of bacon and hash-browns? Are you tired of always getting the same old spoiler info about the same old challenges, immunity idols, and boring chicken chases? In short, are you ready for something new?

Well here's your chance. Read on for spoilers with springtime freshness, spoilers that will put a lift in your step, and a little Leif in your pocket.

We also bring to you the baddest (so bad they are good, very very good) and raunchiest girls you have ever seen, straight from the Mistress of Raunch's Alma mater, the Really Really very Raunchy Girls Finishing School for Properly Raunchy Girls. Here there be writhing and roiling young and very spoiled ladies (they learn that in Writhing and Roiling 201 and 202, required in the Raunch curriculum) and their magnificent motorized mounts.

In addition to being unrestrained in their notions of entertainment, they are mechanical mavens (there are two who are actually named Maven) who have turned their talents to Monster Vespa Shows, where they mount tractor tires on their Mopeds and Vespas with extended and long travel suspension systems, roaring unmuffled 12 cylinder engines, and stripper poles

Unfortunately no one under the minimum age can be admitted to these shows due to the nudity and explicit sexual situations (not required as part of the plot, they are gratuitous) that are demonstrated as part of the educational requirements that I impose on my girls, they need to learn to give back to the community, I think, as well as charge for their services.

Anyway, you wanted spoilers? Inside Spoilers? The newest and freshest spoilers? Here ye be, fresh from my monkey agents and pygmy spies on the island.

Spoiler #1: Tarzan will spoil your appetite. If his simian visage isn't sufficient to empty the contents of your stomach, his poop pot boiling idea of kitchen hygiene will. Even my monkey agents were disgusted, and they think throwing feces is normal.

Spoiler #2: Alicia's platonic bunk mate, Country Club Colton got some sort of life threatening (yea) condition and had to be evacuated last week. Alicia, instead of being sympathetic, and incidentally showing a her true depth of human compassion, was PO-ed at CCC for getting sick and leaving her alone with out an ally in hate. He didn't give her his immunity idol (she didn't know that there was no way he was going to give it to a lower caste Latina woman, three strikes against her in his mind - Latina, woman, and not being him) so she blames him for that. "How dare he get sick and not give her his immunity idol so that she could be immune from the enmity that she incurred with her hagwife bitching and lording over Christina! How dare he!" Poor Alicia, poor Karma bitten Alicia.

Spoiler #3: Tarzan will raise his hand at TC and complain that Judas cooks too much that Chesty doesn't like boiled poop, that Leave is small minded, that Joey won't fix his coffee the way he demands, and that Joopy doesn't let him go to the bathroom at TC. He pounded his chest and declared that he should be the Chaplin of this operating room.

Spoiler #4: Troyzan gets an erection when Jeff caresses his shoulder.

Spoiler #5: Sabrina will apply for a patent for her camouflage makeup and bikini which allows her to blend into the background. This season, that is looking to be an outstanding strategy.

Spoiler #6: We will learn that it is a mistake to let the littlest guy prepare a tunnel thru the sand under a log that the others are to follow thru. Another addition to the Survivors handbook.



Tribe inflicts this siggie onto the world, just for phun.

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Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
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03-29-12, 09:42 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Koffee Klatch"

Spoiler #4: Troyzan gets an erection when Jeff caresses his shoulder.

HEY, who needs viagra when:

1) You name the merged tribe,

2) You help solve the puzzle and give your team pizza and beer,

3) You find the HII,

4) You win the Immunity Necklace,

5) And Jeff Probst wants to touch Greatness.

What an episode; what a player. This is MY island!!!


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-31-12, 06:03 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Koffee Klatch"
Are you actually proud of that tribe name? Ticklishanus??


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Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
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04-02-12, 08:04 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: Koffee Klatch"
Damn right I'm proud of that name. Half of the name "Año" is your native tongue, Chica. You should be proud (and lucky) to be on that tribe too. You jealous for not thinking of it first?

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-30-12, 10:10 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: Koffee Klatch"
Do you often think that your spoilers Jiffy's challenges should be a bit fresher? fixed


Country Club Colton got some sort of life threatening (yea) condition and had to be evacuated last week. LMAO, it looked like a painful evacuation. I bet once the bugs got a dose of drugs the had an evacuation too. wiping the tears from my eyes


Troyzan gets an erection when Jeff caresses his shoulder.
He's as love struck as Ice Cream Eric

#6 Leif couldn't even make the tunnel his size. Bring on the brains.



A Tribe masterpiece


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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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03-30-12, 10:14 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: Koffee Klatch"
LAST EDITED ON 03-30-12 AT 10:15 AM (EST)

>#6 Leif couldn't even make the
>tunnel his size. Bring on
>the brains.

That was toooooo funny! I thought I was gonna wet myself watching that one!



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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-31-12, 06:06 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: Koffee Klatch"
Hey Mo'Fo, didn't you see how quickly I rebounded? I'm back with my girls and we are having fun in the hut. If you want a spoiler, I'll tell you that Kat is a screamer...


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-31-12, 08:15 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Koffee Klatch"

Dat Kat be crazy, man.



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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-30-12, 10:17 AM (EST)
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9. "Kim "The new Queen""
Yup, what's so hard about Survivor.

Checklist:

1. Get in an alliance. check

2. Have a brain in a season without them. check

3. Find a HII. check

4. Make the merge. check

5. Look good while doing it. check

To do list:

1. Keep Kat around for shield and/or goat.

2. Keep Alicia around for target and/or goat.

3. Keep Sabrina around for shield and/or goat.

4. Keep Chelsea around for BFF and/or shield. Hey I gotta have one friend.

5. Love Troyzan long time, and get his HII.



I'm just too good to be a loser


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caseymagoo 59 desperate attention whore postings
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03-30-12, 02:10 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Kim "The new Queen""
>Yup, what's so hard about Survivor.

If I knew who you were, I would educate you that the game of Survivor can be downright irritating. Maybe I will meet you next week on your sunboat.

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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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03-30-12, 05:12 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Kim "The new Queen""
Tarz baby, you're gonna make me barf dude!


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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04-01-12, 10:35 AM (EST)
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21. "RE: Kim "The new Queen""
Keep following your little checklist but you are forgetting something: I don't play nice.


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-31-12, 01:09 PM (EST)
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16. "The Annual Beardies"
LAST EDITED ON 03-31-12 AT 06:21 PM (EST)

Moe here, Mo deInfo. Reporting from the red carpet of the annual award show, the Beardies.

All the Raunchy Girls are here too, creating their own show. They are wearing the gauziest sheerest see thru fashions by the French designer, "le Edible", and of course, their "beards" have been trimmed with utmost care using the finest Brazilian wax available, and believe me, they are mighty proud of their little designs, usually little maps to their nethers. This is a proud tradition of Raunchy Girls everywhere.

It was a bit of a spectacle when they arrived on their fancy chopped Vespas. With the slow dignified dismount not being their way, they came slamming up screeching to a smoke filled and unmuffled stop, hopped off their hogs, and did their pantyless splits eight in front of the cameras. Quite a show, I gotta say, but the stars of the show, the Survivor cast members are such duds that, well, someone had to put on a show. They make me so proud. I don't often weep for joy, but this night was an exception.

Anyway, the show. The Beardies. Where the secret votes taken by the Monkey Press are sealed up in an envelope, hidden in a palm tree hole, then brought to this ceremony to be revealed to you the viewer. The Beardie is awarded to the survivors who, in the opinion of the Monkey Press, has had the finest beard grown in the current season of Survivor.

Here are the contestants!!!


For the Women:

Since the women (except for Kim) don't have chin beards, we have to judge the "other" beard".

Alicia wins in the women's category. You would not believe the bush on that girl! Here she is attempting to trim the hedge, but to no avail, she just dulls the blade on that machete as well as getting Chelsea to puke again.

One would think that Sabrina would be the choice here because with that 'fro on top, surely she must have something pretty dense below too. But no, Alicia gots the shaggiest shag in the women's category.

Disclaimer: There are no monetary prizes for the contestants, just what ever we can raise with our porn magazine, our web site, and our tweets, and of course, we have to keep that to pay our overhead.

For the Men:

Since the men do have face hair, and since we get tired of making Chelsea puke, we judge men by the hair of their chinny chin chins.

Troy takes home the grand prize with this very tasteful and well colored chin coif. Dense growth, nice formation, and a tasteful graying pattern which could have come straight from a Spanish Don, or "The Most Interesting Guy In The World" commercial.


This year there was a fine group of candidates, and there were several who could have won in other years.


A close second goes to Jay, whose beard shows great promise but the lack of color variation shows it to be a bit immature right now. An up and comer for sure.

Also, with a fine well patterned growth achieved in a remarkably short time, Mike:

And, although it doesn't look so good from above, when one gets down with him one can see that little Leif also has a very well established growth and his beard is a credit to the little people everywhere. Not to be condescending, but one does have to descend to talk to Leif and properly view his beard, so can't be helped. He does deserve a great deal of credit for his chin hairs.

Before we get to the really awful end of the pack, I think it is fitting that we should award an honorable mention to Kim for her exceptional effort. She didn't get much more that a faint moustache, but she did give it her all, and unless that's actually the result of brown nosing Chelsea, that is indeed a worthy effort. Actually even if...well, never-mind. Fantasyland can wait.

The worst beard award, the "One Big Mess", goes to Tarzan, the picture tells the story;

Finally, in the Girly Boy Beard Category, we have Jonas, who takes this award with very little competition. Outside of the actual women of course. Yeah, I know, he's Asian or something, we should give him a break because of genetics. But we don't do that around here, just wouldn't be the thing.

NEXT WEEK

We will have the Crazy eyes competition, and so far, Kat is leading the pack. Bitch be Crazy, man!




This sig was erected by a tribe of one.

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Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
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04-02-12, 08:13 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: The Annual Beardies"

"Before we get to the really awful end of the pack, I think it is fitting that we should award an honorable mention to Kim for her exceptional effort. She didn't get much more that a faint moustache, but she did give it her all..."


LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I swear I was going to make this same reference on my Love/Loathe list, but I already had a lot of comments on Kim as it was, so I was seriously considering it for next week.

In the PRESEASON Love/Loathe list when I made a reference to casting a dwarf (Leif) I asked what's next...a bearded lady? Never did I think that comment might be so prophetic!

Anyway, kudos for beating me to the punch. HaHa

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-12, 02:02 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: The Annual Beardies"
Thank you! Thank you to all the little people who made this possible.

Leif, sit down.

I was so surprised at the honorable mention. I did so admire my Great Grandmother, who I'm named after.


My luxury item is a straight razor.

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