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"Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Players… Shuffle Up and Deal With It”"
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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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03-14-12, 07:50 PM (EST)
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"Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Players… Shuffle Up and Deal With It”"

Who told The Red Queen that he’s the Pit Boss? Colton has been sitting on the Hidden Immunity Idol (ouch) and dealing from the bottom of the deck. Yes, I said “Bottom”.

So the time has come to shuffle the situation and mix up the Men vs Women tribes. As if they weren’t mixed up enough.



Mark "Double Down" Burnett
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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Pla... iltarion 03-15-12 1
   RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Pla... MissMyth 03-15-12 2
       RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Pla... MissMyth 03-15-12 3
   Jiffy's Best Line suzzee 03-15-12 4
   RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Pla... kingfish 03-15-12 7
 RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Pla... suzzee 03-15-12 5
 The Banana Hammock suzzee 03-15-12 6
 RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Pla... jbug 03-15-12 8
 Shuffle up and feel. kingfish 03-15-12 9
   Equal time suzzee 03-16-12 11
       RE: Equal time MissMyth 03-16-12 12
 RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Pla... Scarlett O Hara 03-15-12 10
 RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Pla... Aruba 03-17-12 13
 RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Pla... suzzee 03-21-12 14

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iltarion 1791 desperate attention whore postings
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03-15-12, 00:58 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Players… Shuffle Up and Deal With It”"

Call me King of the Misfits or Ruler of the Idiots. Just don't call me scruffy looking. How does my hair look?

Monica, honey, did you really think the men were with you? These people are so stupid!!!

Did you see this band of jokers that they put me with?? Hahaha!!! Not that it matters. I can make caviar out of a crap sandwich.


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MissMyth 352 desperate attention whore postings
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03-15-12, 03:05 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Players… Shuffle Up and Deal With It”"
LAST EDITED ON 03-15-12 AT 12:47 PM (EST)

I bet your housekeeper made sure you had a few of those.


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MissMyth 352 desperate attention whore postings
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03-15-12, 05:57 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Players… Shuffle Up and Deal With It”"
I'll give you props though for how you handled those balls during the challenge.


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-15-12, 09:16 AM (EST)
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4. "Jiffy's Best Line "
At Babble Council: Talking to Monica, "I smell a but(t)coming."

BWAHAHA!!

Jiffyboy, you did not just say that. >snort<



Burnett, get over here and clean up my beach.


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-15-12, 10:44 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Players… Shuffle Up and Deal With It”"
"Call me King..."

Nice try, but you're in trademark protected territory. And I know a guy...


art by KOBrien Fan

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-15-12, 09:19 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Players… Shuffle Up and Deal With It”"
Colton, you may be an overindulged, arrogant, parody of a Southern gentleman but you are hilarious. Burnett may re-open me just so we don't miss your one-liners.


Burnett, get over here and clean up my beach.

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-15-12, 09:22 AM (EST)
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6. "The Banana Hammock "
MY EYES!!!!!

Never NEVER ever show Tarzan from behind, bending over, laying around as long as he's living in that cheap knock-off Speedo from an Italian sweat shop.


What happens in da Zone stays in da Zone.

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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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03-15-12, 11:25 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Players… Shuffle Up and Deal With It”"
Damn you, Colton; you're a lying weazly good 4 nothing little twit.
I am just sorry I couldn't get your measly followers to listen to reason (no, none of you saw me but I was trying, I really was - at least in my head).
You needed to be blindsided.
But I'll give you this. You've fooled them all.


or Hutwife either!

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-15-12, 01:48 PM (EST)
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9. "Shuffle up and feel."
LAST EDITED ON 03-15-12 AT 05:27 PM (EST)

Hello mellow fellows, it is I, Moe, with some mo' o' the Info, inside info that is. From One World, and today, as a special treat, we are at Retirement island at the invitation of the pygmies who are so very lonely this season.

Since the evil and much too rich producer of Survivor (and various other criminal enterprises), the EPMB (also known as Dolly Rice, By'Golly Ice, and Roll Your Own deVice) has abandoned Exile Island and let the pygmies run wild. Since running wild is the name of our game, we decided to see if we could evade the jackbooted attempts of civilization to snatch the snatch endowed students of my traveling school, the Raunchiest girls you ever seen, the Raunchettes. Also known as the Sluttetts. Or the Really Really Rutty and Really Really Raunchy Girls of Raunchette High.

Here, on this deserted (sort of) Island their Raunchy education involves learning more about how to entertain themselves without the hoards (cages full) of normal (sort of) men they usually have to draw upon. They have pygmies, they have a lot of bananas and coconut oil, they have each other, and of course, they have me (heh heh, although I take my responsibilities as teacher, student, and crash dummy seriously, I do enjoy my job).

Their continuing education in raunchy Moped mechanics includes courses in how to keep sand from getting into the motor oil of their uniquely Chopped Vespa Hogs (and no, neither Paul Sr or Paul Jr had a danged this to do with these works of art, they did it all themselves, as they do everything and each other) as well as their "Other" lube oils. They learn how to dig out a Vespa whose wheels are stuck in a sand trap, and how to convert that sand trap into a pleasure pit for fun and sexual gratification. Very inventive are my girls, they even have tricks they perform while swinging thru the jungle that will amaze you and very possibly cause a reaction in your nether lowers.

But enough about our island vacation and jungle antics. We have news to impart. To wit, my always accurate insider spoilers and opinions, if you will. It's easier to collect spoilers from the One World island since we are right nearby, just a single feces toss for my monkey agents on the island.

Spoiler #1: Colton will tell little Leif that if Leif will be his Cabana boy, and give "special" massages, sponge baths, peel his banana, bring him drinks and little sandwiches with the crusts cut off, wash his clothes, and do the Hula-Hula for him before bedtime, that that will make Leif grow taller. Of course Colton is being a little disingenuous, actually it makes "little Colton" grow taller instead.

Spoiler #2: Gratuitous Sex #1. Now, we come to the first gratuitous sex segment of our show.

This is what's awaiting you at Tribe's Loser Lodge. I wouldn't include this here except that Tribe kidnapped my dog. I have to do this in order to get him back.

Spoiler #3: Gratuitous Sex #2. The second (of hopefully a great many) gratuitous sex segment:

Alicia: Description: Nice package, over all. With her mouth closed.

So why does she strangle her Boobs? Those puppies are crying so pitifully, they just want to be free.

Spoiler #4: Gratuitous Sex #3:

Jonas trying out for the position of Colton's Cabana boy. However, Leif has the advantage of elevation on Jonas.

Spoiler #5: Tarzan will discover that all of his cosmetic surgery clients have inexplicably run for the hills after seeing Survivor, One World. I wonder why they would lose their faith that this guy will make them look better. Yow!!

Spoiler #6: Country Club Colton thinks that he knows how to talk to people, how to charm them. The problem he has is, who does he consider to be people? Obviously not comedians, black people, or the meat bags he is living with. My opinion is that he charms the image he sees in a mirror. He's not actually gay per se, he just wants to boink himself.

I hope Colton wins, because when he gets off the island I want to play poker with him and get that million for myself. Easy pickings. Every thought that goes thru his head is advertised on his face, and accentuated with a head roll.



Tribe dropped this off the other day, and it just rolled into my pocket.

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-16-12, 09:10 AM (EST)
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11. "Equal time "
Just to offset some of that cheesecake, I propose more beefcake. Equal opportunity letch and letchettes you may thank me now.


Damn he's hot. woof


Now these are 100% natural, and they hold their shape without a hydraulic swimsuit jack.


Mug Shots or separated at birth, you choose.



Colton and his beyotch.



What happens in da Zone stays in da Zone.


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MissMyth 352 desperate attention whore postings
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03-16-12, 01:17 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: Equal time "
Thank you Suzzee!

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Scarlett O Hara 3259 desperate attention whore postings
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03-15-12, 08:05 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Players… Shuffle Up and Deal With It”"
LOL Kingfish! We really must book YOU as a Survivor in next season's show. You would give Colton + Russ-Hole a run for their money!!

Colton seems to be the gay version of Russ-Hole, but instead of Parvati and Natalie as his minions, Colton's got Jonas and Tarzan. Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum.

Tarzan, tell us all, what is your environment?

Tarzan: I shan't say because the game is afoot.

EPMB will be by shortly with a bonus for every vocabulary word you can utter Tarzan that I must look up.

Now Leif, you really must stop using neologisms. For all of you DAWs, a neologism is: a new word, often consisting of a combination of other words, that is understood only by the speaker: occurring most often in the speech of schizophrenics.

Until a future and undisclosed date, Tarzan will remain "less assertive" and leave the leadership to Colton. Thank GAWD I am not on that beach where I would be exposed to that banana hammock every day!!

As far as I can tell, the girls just gave away every advantage they had on this tribe to Colton and his minions. Each season, they really are becoming dumb and DUMBER!


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Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
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03-17-12, 08:42 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Players… Shuffle Up and Deal With It”"
POOR ALICIA!

She had such high hopes that the tribal switch would put us on the same tribe.

Que pena Chica!

I guess you'll just have to continue to admire me from afar...and no longer on the same beach, the "afar" has gotton further.

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-21-12, 12:23 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep05: “Players… Shuffle Up and Deal With It”"
BURNETT!!, you nose pickin' fuzzball!

Relegating me to Retread Island status, you wastrel. I had a purpose. I kept things separated and tidy, except for the chicken poop, sorry.

FINE! I'm going off to loooooser's lodge and setting up shop somewhere between the Hut Cam and the Monkey Bar.

HUFF! (as in walking off in a)


What happens in da Zone stays in da Zone.

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