Welcome Welcome Bashers and Basherettes it’s another heart sto
mpping episode of the best of the best, Survivor. applause, well at least one person clapped. Thank you Jiffy Hey Jiffy, see you decided to put in a full episode this week, good for you, you don’t want Burnette to dock you now.
Opening scenes: >toot< Matt and his Alliance of Muscle are running the show, they are so, he did the math, it’s true. The Oddball alliance Colton “Hidden Idols don’t count as a Handout” temporarily leads the leftovers Leif, Jonas and the Zan brothers Tar & Troy.
“There is a massive a$$ storm coming in.”
Jonas & Colton cross the Neutral Zone…..
BTS Product Endorsement
Jonas & Colton slither across the Neutral Zone and invite the ladies for a cross tribal cuddle session and weather report. Nice of them but I doubt it was discussed with the rest of Moano-no or what they’re calling themselves today, The He Man Woman’s Hater Club.
The girls decline and the boys go home alone. Seconds later the weather turns and one of the girls exclaim “It’s gonna rain too!” no, no way man, not in the tropics.
We pick it back up in the morning with all the Kitty’s sitting in their wet litter box, pruned fingers and soggy bottoms. Mellow misery music plays in the background and one of them (I still need them to wear their “Hello! My Name is” stickers sorry) summons the boys over to see if they have fire. Troy Zan looks around behind him just in case that fire sneaked in after him. “Are you wearing soaking wet t-shirts, because if you’re not stay away okay?”
Over at Camp Testosterone Sabrina, head of the Moocher Tribe, told the boys she wanted to be punched and several murmurs were heard asking if she still would like to be. Matt came back in after crab hunting (he might check his shorts first) and found GIRLS in his clubhouse. He said there’s barely room for 9 guys in there (don’t worry Matt, that won’t be a problem for you much longer.)
On to the Reward Challenge where brains overtake brawn and the Moano-no tribe embarrass themselves by getting shut out. Thank Troy Zan and Kat for the edge of your seat suspense on their turn, Jiffy wishes he would have called in sick for this one. (did you like the Hee-Haw music during that turn?).
The Kitty’s win hooks, lines and sinkers plus the newly built SS Minnow, Jiffy tells them they don’t have to share, way to get all forshadowy on us Jiffy.
Just throwing this out there, Kat is sort of an idiot. There’s a video clip with her patting herself on the back for learning how to shut-up during the challenge. >forehead slap<
OK, I posted this in Gufu’s but why didn’t the Kitties use that huge crate for firewood? Or is it the litterbox? Scoot off to Gufu’s afterwards, you’ll feel better.
Alicia thinks it’s unfair of the boys to get anything in return for the help they’ve been giving to the Salami tribe. And Colton doesn’t believe in handouts. And I’ve got some land in Florida I’d like to sell you.
Come on in guys. Oh, you girls can come in too.
The Immunity Challenge
It’s the dump the water on the blindfolded challenge. They get one dry day and then get 50 gallons of water dumped on them. Justice is served, do they get medevaced for chafing? Sabrina directs the girls; luckily most of them lived through it. Bill was boss for the guys and they prevailed, until the puzzle part, although thinking doesn’t seem to be a real strength with Moano-no the girls were able to copy off of them, sort of shortened the learning curve. All’s fair in boats & puzzles & hand grenade fights. Moano-no loses and we hear Matt tell us how he’s going to execute his power. Interesting use of the word execute Matt. >snicker<
Back at camp girls relax and stop sweating, the boys let Bill know he did a great job. >cough< Then we get to see Colton letting his biotchy side run amok and Bill is the target this time. Bro! Bill goes from floater vote to target in a country club minute and Colton says, waggling his finger at the Average Joe 5 “Bill will stab you in the back if you keep him, “ and pot, kettle.
Tar Zan picks up Jay Bird as his replacement floater and Matt declares himself a Rooster. There was an interesting kill a chicken video in the CBS clips, chop-chop and the rooster was dinner. Coincidence? I think not.
Jiffy calls the He Man Woman Haters Club to order, passes out fire and within a few minutes starts to wonder if he can do the rest of the show with video conferencing. It’s starting to look like to me that the only Manono that has ever seen Survivor is Colton, they all seemed so confused.
Bill sums this whole evening up nicely and I quote, “You know it’s all fun and games until you’re right here right now.” Where have they been for the last 8 days bro?
On to the vote and now Jiffy is calling anything that is not a medevac a blindside. Here comes the Immunity Challenge, ooooh blindside. See?
So as not to drag this out any longer then necessary, Matt gets the majority and Tar Zan wants to see the other two votes (guess he thought they had hanging Chads or something.) Jiffy says No Votes for You and we fade to blindside.
Next week: Betrayal, lost marbles, breaches of faith, probably another blindside or tsunami.
This is a real Basher Summary signed,Epstein’s Mother
Extra points if you can name the tv show the pictures were from.