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"Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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02-29-12, 08:43 PM (EST)
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"Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
LAST EDITED ON 03-03-12 AT 03:13 AM (EST)


The Women are freezing and the Men aren’t pleasing.

New battles between the sexes rage on and poor communication leaves castaways scrambling at a frustration-filled Immunity Challenge.

So says CBS and I'll stick with the official story until this hangover wears off.

(More when I recover...)
---------------------------
Welcome one and all to Survivor “One World: Please Turn Up The Thermostat”. Before I truly begin, I’d like to thank Scarlett O Hara and suzzee for stepping up to the plate while I was away. I’d also like to thank kingfish, in his persona of Moe De’Info for his general Spoilage, abuse of my good name and Raunchy Girl updates. I’d like to thank him, but I know I couldn’t keep him away from BTS with barb wire, hand grenades and a red hot poker. I know that, because I’ve tried. Besides, that particular package is listed on the Raunchy Girls Menu of Activities as “a slow Saturday night”.

Enough delay, I feel like I’ve been swinging two bats (and a Bat Girl) in the on-deck circle, so let’s get it on:

Previously on “Survivor: One World Is Not Enough”, See the BS© finally upped my budget a little and I was able to convince Jiffy to stand on the landing skid of the helicopter and deliver his opening spiel. Imagine his surprise as I had secretly instructed the pilot to bank hard to the right. For those of you who are playing the trivia game, that’s 10 takes with the helicopter, 47 air sickness bags (not including those needed by the audience) and a 12 foot tower of Dramamine, fashioned into an anti-nausea salt-lick for the entire production team to enjoy as needed.

Jiffy announces the two teams, the Mammaries?No tribe consisting of the men and the Yes,We Have No Salami tribe of testosterone-ly challenged. However, even this simple XX/XY gender divide isn’t so cut and dried. There are two candidates who are straddling the border. Alicia seems aggressive enough to be sporting some lady wood, and on the opposite side of the spectrum is Colton, who seems to float over the terrain, looking for his missing croquet mallet.

Let’s skip over the Mammaries?No tribe “stealing” the Axe, thinking it was body wash and the Yes,We Have No Salami tribe featuring a woman named Kourtney Moon wearing a penguin shaped knit cap; she’ll be gone soon. We’ll also pass on the two chickens and why Colton would cross the road.

In the second episode, I premiere the “DIY Challenge” which saves me a fortune in Jiffy Probst fees, but gives him entirely too much free time to browse the Colby Donaldson fan pages and “would you strip naked for chocolate” porn websites. Did I provide too much bandwidth? Who can say? I will tell you that our Jiffy is more complex than a Sushi restaurant in Utah.

Sabrina turns out to be a rational adult, which is always bad for ratings, but the quick-to-anger Alicia, the ditzy “Kitty” Kat and the saggy Tarzan help carry the entertainment baggage. Between the challenge losses, the lack of fire and the lack of communication, the women of Yes,We Have No Salami are feeling the pain. Attorney Matt bemoans the fact that due to her injuries and elimination from the game Kourtney won’t be able to give him a “handy”, which gives us all the opportunity to turn our heads to the side like a Cocker Spaniel and take a moment to wonder what could have been… Simply in terms of entertainment value of course.

Colton snags the Hidden Immunity Idol gift basket, the women lose the “Hug it out b1tch” Challenge and they find themselves with their usual floor seats at Tribal Council, far away from Jack Nicholson and Spike Lee. After the (independent and completely unbiased) vote, Nina Acosta gets the heave-ho. Based on her S.W.A.T. experience with L.A.P.D., I’m putting the CBS attorneys on full tactical alert.

”They’ve Got Fire and We’ve Got Rain” As they say, the third Ep’s the charm. The women of Yes,We Have No Salami are still cold, tired and still unable to find the room service menu. They stole fire from the men, had it awarded to them as torches and flint and still can’t keep the hut fires burning. Some of the women from the Soggy Bottom camp go over to warm their hands at the men’s fire which raises Matt’s ire. After all, there isn’t a chicken in every pot.

”Thanks For The Memory” Reward Challenge Jiffy brings both tribes in and does his “Worth playing for…?” shtick which makes me nostalgic for the DIY Challenge. I guess I’ll have to settle for the No Host Bar in the EPMB Gentleman’s Club here at the Ponderosa.

We show both teams a series of items: skull, rock, bottle, shell, coke vial, porn mag, empty bottle of Viagra. Oops, it seems that the Challenge Design Team didn’t clean up very well last night.

The women may be water-logged, but their brains are still working. They are running away with the challenge until we get to the Troyzan/Kat match up. This pair looks at the items a total of seven… count ‘em… seven times before Kat removes her Medulla Oblongata from her Descending Colon and matches correctly. And those, my friends, are worse odds than you’d get from CougarLife.com.
Finally, mercifully, Christina beats Bill and the Yes,We Have No Salami tribe is awarded fishing gear and a canoe.

Still A Mooch. Still A Mooch. Can you dance the Fandango? Thunderbolts and lightning are very, very frightening as the Yes,We Have No Salami tribe returns to camp. They are celebrating their victory and mocking the men. But when Monica and Kat can’t start the fire, they return to the Mammaries?No camp to ask the guys for some embers from their fire. Jay asks if they can borrow the keys to the canoe sometime. When Monica and Kat don’t commit, Jay reminds them that his tribe has already loaned the women a cup of sugar, the lawn mower, a low-interest home loan, half a tank of Jay’s helium and the TV remote.

Bill tells the two women that “One World is out the window” and demands that the Yes,We Have No Salami tribe provide timeshare arrangements for the boat. Alicia and Chelsea communicate this to their tribe, but it doesn’t gain any traction with the rest of the women.

By day eight the sun is back up and the women have had some success fishing. Boat rentals and chicken dinners are put back on hold.

“Bump and Run” Immunity Challenge One caller and the other six tribe members are blindfolded into pairs. Caller will scream their team through wooden obstacles to a water tower which will release… you guessed it… a bag of puzzle pieces. Come back to the mat, and the Caller puts together the tree puzzle to win Immunity for his/her tribe.

With Bill as the Caller for the Mammaries?No and Sabrina as the Yes,We Have No Salami Caller, the expected chaos ensues. The men get off to an enormous lead, but the women keep at it. Bill has four of pieces in place before Sabrina even begins, but she stays calm and finishes the puzzle to win the Challenge for her tribe.

A Manly Scramble With Tribal Council on the Day Planner, the Mammaries?No tribe is wheeling and dealing. Colton confessionalizes, “I’m so excited to vote someone out. I dislike so many of these people.” With Colton holding the only HII he’s starting to resemble RussHell, with Troyzan, Leif, Tarzan and Jonas acting as the loyal handmaidens. It’s starting to look quite desperate for CBS’s newest hit show, “Eight and a Half Men”.

In the other faction, Matt pulls Troyzan aside and makes a strange (but mouth-watering) analogy about “roosters” and “chickens”. Troyzan nods conspiratorially until Matt gets to his “filet o fish” strategy. Then Troyzan heads for the drive thru and away from Matt. Troyzan confessionalizes that “It ain’t Survivor unless you’re lying”, which will probably invalidate his run for Congress, but at least it proves he’s seen the show before. Many whispered conversations and promises of a Blue Boy magazine subscription later, Colton switches up his intended vote from Bill to Matt.

Tribal Council “Light your torches. Fire represents lost sponsors in this game and they are going to drop like flies if you guys don’t kick up the drama soon.” So drones Jeff Probst and under his masterful questioning we learn that Colton spends too much time at the women’s camp and that there are a lot of alliances. Blah, blah, blah. Votes cast. Colton hangs on to his HII.

Votes are read. Colton catches one. Bill gets one vote. Matt gets five. Even I can do this kind of math. Matt’s torch is snuffed and he heads… not to Retirement Village, but to the Exit Door. We’re all done. Back to camp for story time and curfew.

But wait. There’s a questioning hand up. “You don’t have to ask permission,” says Jiffy. “You can pee on any rock you like on your way back to camp.” But that's not it. Tarzan looks more like Cheetah. “Uhh, Jeff? Can you read the other two votes?” asks Tarzan.

Instead of answering, Jiffy shakes his head in disgust and turns to catch the eye of a Production Assistant. He mumbles, “Hey, Gina. Can you send that new batch of Donaldson swimsuit photos and the Lesbian chocolate syrup wrestling videos over to my tent now? It’s going to be a long night.”

Matt Quinlan, the 33-year-old attorney and freelance dimwit drops his briefs at the Ponderosa.

P.S. – Matt never made that comment about the “handy”. It’s called a “parody”, people. Besides, I got the word “handy” in three times and threw in a Cocker Spaniel for good measure.



Mark "I'm baaaack!" Burnett
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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... iltarion 03-01-12 1
   RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... caseymagoo 03-01-12 3
       RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... Scarlett O Hara 03-04-12 13
           RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... michel 03-05-12 15
               RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... Aruba 03-05-12 26
                   RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... michel 03-05-12 30
                       RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... Aruba 03-06-12 36
   RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... SpotTheDiffference 03-02-12 6
 RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... qwertypie 03-01-12 2
 RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... suzzee 03-01-12 4
 RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... SpotTheDiffference 03-01-12 5
 RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... jbug 03-02-12 7
   RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... Aruba 03-02-12 8
   RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... michel 03-05-12 19
       RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... Aruba 03-05-12 27
           RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... michel 03-05-12 29
               RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... Aruba 03-06-12 37
                   RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... jbug 03-07-12 42
 Booby Bussing, fun and games, and m... kingfish 03-02-12 9
   RE: Booby Bussing, fun and games, a... michel 03-05-12 16
 RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... kingfish 03-03-12 10
   RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... iltarion 03-03-12 11
       RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... Aruba 03-03-12 12
           RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... michel 03-05-12 17
 RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... Molaholic 03-04-12 14
 RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... michel 03-05-12 18
   RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... RollDdice 03-05-12 23
       RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... kingfish 03-05-12 28
 RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... kingfish 03-05-12 20
   RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... michel 03-05-12 21
       RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... iltarion 03-05-12 22
           RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... michel 03-05-12 24
               RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... iltarion 03-05-12 31
                   RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... michel 03-05-12 32
                       RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... iltarion 03-06-12 35
           RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... Aruba 03-05-12 25
               RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... michel 03-05-12 33
                   RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... kingfish 03-05-12 34
                   RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... Aruba 03-06-12 38
                   RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... Aruba 03-06-12 39
                       RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... michel 03-06-12 40
                           RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... RollDdice 03-06-12 41
 RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... suzzee 03-07-12 43
   RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can... RollDdice 03-08-12 44

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iltarion 1791 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-12, 01:58 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"

One down, four to go. Next week, it'll be time to take out the trash... ghetto trash, that is.

This is SUCH FUN!

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caseymagoo 59 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-12, 08:28 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
You are the smartest guy I ever met. I'm glad you're in my 5. or 6. dang, with that floater I lost count. Glad that Matt is gone, i hate it when I'm asked who we is. who we are. who will we be. help Jiffy, can i ask a question?


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Scarlett O Hara 3259 desperate attention whore postings
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03-04-12, 01:19 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
No you may not. The less you talk and the more you run around in the banana hammock, the better the ratings ...

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 11:52 AM (EST)
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15. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
Ewwww! Jiffy, I could understand the attraction for Colby but Tarzan?????

Give me a hammock and we could frolic in it all you want.


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Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 08:57 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
Sure...buttering up Jiffy. And why not? If he keeps calling you back, even a loser like YOU might win on your FOURTH attempt.


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 09:46 PM (EST)
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30. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
Sure, I can butter up Jiffy but I prefer to use whip cream, chocolate syrup or nothing at all!


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Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
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03-06-12, 06:58 AM (EST)
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36. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
May as well throw in some cottage cheese...to match the texture of your legs. YIKES!

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SpotTheDiffference 455 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-12, 04:34 AM (EST)
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6. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
Eh. Admit it. You only wanted me because you couldn't concentrate on the game. My rooster is all you can ever think of.

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qwertypie 9721 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-12, 03:06 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
Don't make me give back the Immunity Idol.


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-12, 10:17 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
LAST EDITED ON 03-01-12 AT 10:17 AM (EST)

Welcome back you ol' gorilla you! Now get some Tylenol and get back to work.


Well, I'm more traveled then the hallways of a co-ed dorm. I thought this was going to be nice and quiet, you know everyone staying on their own sides and all? Turns out this bunch don't realize what SEPARATE tribes mean. This is turning out to be a bigger flop then_________________. Go on, you fill in the blank.


What happens in da Zone stays in da Zone.

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SpotTheDiffference 455 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-12, 11:31 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"

I'm sorry, is my presence ruining your strategy talk to vote me out? OK, I'll just walk away so you can finalize your plan to vote me out.

And chickens and roosters and stuff. Maybe if I keep talking about roosters, Colton might start including me in the alliance. Because he's gay. He likes... roosters.

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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-12, 10:08 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
I'm on a tribe with a bunch of whining babies!
I tried to tell them:
we catch a bunch of fish;
we grill them up & the smell would have the men running over to our camp for a change;
we then get their tarp and anything else we want.
It's obvious flashing some skin isn't working.
Time for a different strategy.


or Hutwife either!

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Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-12, 10:39 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
Plastic boobies ain't working either.

You didn't take me up on the "pole dance" offer so consider it an opportunity wasted.

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 12:22 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
Different strategy? Do you really think the way you played up to now was strategic??? We weren't in camp yet and I had all the strategy in place.


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Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 09:22 PM (EST)
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27. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
"We weren't in camp yet and I had all the strategy in place."

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

Gimme a break! The only "strategy" YOU had in place is being born after 1980!!!


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 09:36 PM (EST)
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29. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
I see that Has-Been-Zan is jealous! Too bad for you but I don't go for relics.

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Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
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03-06-12, 07:02 AM (EST)
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37. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
"Relic" according to my birth certificate. But I'm 50 who could pass for someone in my 30s. You, on the other hand, are 25 and look 40.

Women my age (who I guess you would refer to as relics also) would put your legs to SHAME.

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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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03-07-12, 01:47 PM (EST)
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42. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
so you like my "leggs" huh?


or Hutwife either!

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-12, 11:26 AM (EST)
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9. "Booby Bussing, fun and games, and more."
LAST EDITED ON 03-02-12 AT 12:30 PM (EST)

Hello folks, it is I Moe, Moe deInfo, with a little bit mo info.

But first I want to tell you about the new game fad at The Raunchy Girls School for irretrievably raunchy girls.

Booby bussing. We had a visitor to the school named Nina this week. She was on her way to Loser Lodge from the Survivor Island and she told us all about their latest challenge, girl on girl Booby bussing. You know, the girls line up on a narrow beam and they try to pass each other without falling off. Real close like. And with the boobilicious Boobies on each Raunchy Girl, this means each girl has a very intimate moment with each of the other girls. Sometimes they fall off on purpose and spend extra moments under the water, not being willing to break contact right away.

I think it's important for a girl's well rounded raunchy education to enjoy life, and part of that should be learning about the seriously fun things as well as the seriously raunchy things, so I encourage them to try to find new new things to do. So this was a natural fit for our curriculum. Booby Bussing 101.

And Nina was able to overlook the confidentially clause in her contract and pass on a few spoilers. Since it's just between you and I and the coconut tree, I'm sure it will be OK to pass them on to you.

Spoiler #1: DNA tests be dammed, in spite of the CSI work this season and the hiring of exorcists and demon expellers, it seems that a Hantz has returned, as stubby as ever.

Spoiler #2: And Colton is king of the banana boys this season. Something that for him is worth much more than the million dollars.

Spoiler #3: When the tribes are switched up, Leif's new tribe will claim to have been short changed.(Sorry for the short jokes, but until I learn more names I'll have to continue to go for the obvious).

Spoiler #4: In the next episode, Kat and Alicia will take off their bikinis and lead the men off into the jungle with the promise of forbidden fruits, and once they are far from their camp will reward them with rotten breadfruit thrown at them while the other girls sneak into their camp and steal their fire. Although Colton won't be enticed by the women, Tarzan's all too obvious excitement will have Colton skipping along too.

Spoiler #5: Now that Nina has been evicted, the jungle monkeys are no longer too scared to enter the women's camp. After that face plant, Nina was one ugly broad. (I know, that one was beneath me too, but I'm struggling here).

Spoiler #6: The girls claim to have caught fish to explain away the smell of tuna in their camp. (Yeah, Yeah, I groaned too. But once a spoiler is spoilt, I cant take it back.)

Spoiler #7: Tarzan will raise his hand to pee, and be denied by Jeff Poopst. Jeff will advise Tarzan to tie a knot in it, enlivening Colton's day.

Tribe dropped this as he beat a hasty retreat. Guilty conscious.

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 12:09 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: Booby Bussing, fun and games, and more."
Moe'fo, I know one of your spoilers is false. We can't entice the men to leave their shelter to find fruits when the fruitiest one of all is sitting in the middle of it.

As for me and Kat taking off our bikinis, we had more fun doing that by ourselves! I found out she likes to be abused while being blindfolded...Too bad for you guys that there isn't a Survivor after dark!


Thanks to Mark Brunette for those blindfolds, they really added some spice to our camp. Care to join us? Bring your blindfold and nothing else!!

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-03-12, 12:18 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
Moe deInfo is thinking of suing EPMB for infringement of Survivor short joke rights. To wit, "Eight and a Half Men" should have been mine.

But since Matt did get his handy (albeit a lefty) from Kourtney back at the Ponderosa, and since, of all the booty the "YWH No Salami's" could have provided him, they gave him Nina, Moe is too busy laughing to sign the paperwork.

You're evil, but you punch out a great Summary.


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iltarion 1791 desperate attention whore postings
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03-03-12, 04:04 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"

Matt would still be in this game if he had offered me a handy. Daddy needs to learn to plea bargain better.


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Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
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03-03-12, 04:17 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
But you're a Republican...and you don't believe in handy-outs!


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 12:13 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
Yes, like a good Republican, he'd prefer to screw you.


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Molaholic 8451 desperate attention whore postings
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03-04-12, 01:52 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
First off, I'd like to thank Jiffy for keeping safe the Secret of the Ballot Box. Gawd forbid that some of the play'as might actually be able to count votes.

Secondly -- what a confessional we had -- whodathunk that Colton was a 'PUB? What with actually being able to work with members of the other side and all...

But anywho, it's certainly nice to see some worthwhile drama.



Tribe does it again

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 12:17 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
What a DAW that Mark Brunette; finding a way around the summary sign-up thread to make one of his own each week.


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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 08:29 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
What a DAW that Mark Brunette; finding a way around the summary sign-up thread to make one of his own each week.

Yes, I'm clever enough to bury my own Claymore mine and then step on it.

Rather than sitting back, surrounded by professional sex workers, contortionists and courtesans, I'm busy screening episodes and writing summaries. I must be out of my DAWing mind!




Mark "A dumb Brunette" Burnett
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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 09:33 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
Spoiler #<next>: Next week EPMB will poke himself in the eye with a sharp stick to punish himself for running away from the exquisite pain of his Raunchy S&M tormentors.

They know him so well.

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 01:23 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
Hello again, it's little ole me again. No no, not Leif, he's a little under the weather today, it is me, Moe, Moe de'Info, with some mo info.

Sadly, the Raunchy Girl School's pet mascot escaped from it's cell in the basement this week. My girls thought they had locked the cage after their last round of slap the monkey in the balls while it hung from a hook, but (and tequila will do this to you every time) apparently they forgot to do so. And the bloody Aussie escaped once again. Ever since that Dingo tried to eat his platypus, he keeps escaping.

Never fear though, he can't say away for long, I'm sure he will return to the sharp stick poking followed by the Ben-Gay rub down followed by the extended screaming session that always was the high point of his stay here. And if he doesn't come peacefully, my girls, the Raunchiest girls I know, will get on their Vespa Choppers and scour the S&M clubs, the porn shops and the strip clubs until the find him.

Meanwhile I will have to invent new pastimes to keep them entertained, maybe a game involving a lot of sex and sweat and jello wrestling? That's been done to death, but somehow it never gets old. Or hijacking a small cruise ship and seeing how high they can get on the high seas?

Or maybe I'll just let their natural instincts take over and just watch what happens. They are very creative and that is almost guaranteed to break new ground in the annals of Raunch. And yes, they do do annual.

But we need to pay the bills, so here are some Spoilers, each bought and paid for, and offered up to our subscribers. So keep up with your monthly payments and these spoiler will keep coming.

Spoiler #1: Leif will be a little under the weather this week.

Spoiler #2: This week, Alicia will break her record for mouthiness. The night shift cameraman will catch her and Kat in the bushes, and she will explain that she just got hungry. The others will obviously think she just got caught in-flagrante, but in RL, and on her block, everyone knows to stay out of Alicia's way when Alicia gets hungry and her head begins to swivel. She ate a llama once.

Spoiler #3: Leif, once again stuck for something to do, decides to go for a short stroll on the beach.

Spoiler #4: Colton manages to talk Tarzan into swinging with him thru the jungle.

Spoiler #4: The next challenge will be a coconut volleyball contest between the men and women. However it will all be over Leif's head.

Spoiler #5: The Snuffer is happy now that he has been resurrected from the scrap heap of Survivor memorabilia, no longer forgotten and forlorn, no one's friend. And no longer upstaged by the upstart squirt, the buff burn pit. Now it's the buff burn pit's turn to feel the sharp sting of EPMB's rejection. Serves the cocky little b'stard right, too.

(Three short jokes and one gay joke...please please EPMB, this is dull dull dull. Please, this week, have something interesting happen. Make Jiffery's pants fall down, or a non-blurred nip slip, even a monkey falling out of a palm tree would be nice...but something...please, something to enliven this snoozefest).



Stay tuned next week for the exciting conclusion to Tribes Tribulations!

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 05:03 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
night shift cameraman? I'd say night stiff cameraman.


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iltarion 1791 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 05:46 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
LAST EDITED ON 03-05-12 AT 05:47 PM (EST)

I have to admit that when you and that sniveling though hot in the wrong way Chelsea wrench came over to warm yourselves by Jay's fire, the rain water dripping over and between your boobies almost even had me at the half-cocked position.

Maybe because you are almost manly enough for me.

Tell you what, if you will wear a little toy I have, I think we could consummate an alliance that would please us both post merge.


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 08:37 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
Oh! Sweetheart; don't ever use "Little" and "Toy" in the same sentence if you want to please me...


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iltarion 1791 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 10:33 PM (EST)
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31. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"

Ah, honey, the toy is for me... but anyway, that's just a figure of speech, sugarbear. I've been lodging with the guys over here, like Troyzan, and trust me, in comparison there is nothing "little" about it.

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 11:06 PM (EST)
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32. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
>
>Ah, honey, the toy is for
>me...

Typical! You say you're like a girl but you are truly a man, thinking about himself only.


>I've been lodging with the
>guys over here, like Troyzan,
>and trust me, in comparison
>there is nothing "little" about
>it.

You can have Troyzan, I feel you two are meant for each other! That still leaves me with Jay, Michael and Bill.



If you want a little toy, you can have Leif!

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iltarion 1791 desperate attention whore postings
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03-06-12, 00:03 AM (EST)
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35. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"

You won't have them for long, honey.

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Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 08:53 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"

"...the rain water dripping over and between your boobies almost even had me at the half-cocked position."


Well that same rain water collecting in the dimples on her cellulite thighs had me doubled-over in a throwing-up position.

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 11:16 PM (EST)
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33. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"

They're real and they are S-P-E-C-T-A-C-U-L-A-R!


No Boobies for you!


Thanks suzzee for the soup nazi pic

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-12, 11:48 PM (EST)
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34. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
Alicia, the witch that keeps on licking. And talking. And talking.


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Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
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03-06-12, 07:27 AM (EST)
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38. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
How convenient for you the pic cuts off below the "taters." Just as well...if we were subjected to looking at your dimpled thighs the caption below would apply:



No Cottage Cheese for you!

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Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
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03-06-12, 06:55 PM (EST)
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39. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"

They're real and they are S-P-E-C-T-A-C-U-L-A-R!


I wouldn't say they're S-P-E-C-T-A-C-U-L-A-R!

But they are rather nice; so on a scale of 1 to 10 I would rate you a 2...1 for each boobie!

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-06-12, 09:11 PM (EST)
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40. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
Ratings? What a nerd!

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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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03-06-12, 09:54 PM (EST)
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41. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
Then I must be a nerd of the highest order, because I live for Ratings.



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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-07-12, 03:14 PM (EST)
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43. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"
Awesome bash by bash replay Rolly apparently you've been saving up which is good for us, bad for big bad Burnette's ego.


Burnett, get over here and clean up my beach.


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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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03-08-12, 03:33 AM (EST)
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44. "RE: Be The Survivor: S24 Ep03: “Can’t We All Get Along? And Get A Couple Of Space Heaters?”"

Glad you like. Frankly, I thought I'd get a little more play on the Still A Mooch. Still A Mooch. Can you dance the Fandango? bit. Perhaps Colton is the only Queen fan.

Thanks also for the cross promotion. I'm overdue on posting a list of still-available characters at the sign-up thresd. People should know that this season of Survivor is goofier than a box full of Super Tuesdays and the only way to keep your sanity is to grab a character and jump in.

Burnett & Company are not safe and I'm going to keep swinging for the fences. (Just trying to keep up with you, kingfish and the other world-class snarkers we have here.)

Bounce or Die by IceCat
"We have a blind date with Destiny and it looks like she's ordered the lobster." --The Shoveler, Mystery Men.

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