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"“Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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11-30-11, 06:52 PM (EST)
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"“Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"

Welcome to the Final 7 and a please pick up your Musical Chair from the Prop Department.

Coach feels that he's in such a powerful position that even the way that he breaks wind is going to effect the outcome of the game. The Dragonslayer remarks that "It's going to get rough and toothless" from here on out.

Speaking of rough and toothless, Brandon is whispering in Coach's ear all the time. Cochran continues to plot and plan while others... well, Albert says it best when he tells us that Rick's as sharp as a bowling ball.

But after disappointing seasons in the past, it's Coach who has the Eye of the Tiger. Literally. It's in the front pocket of his Target jacket.




Mark "There's never enough time" Burnett
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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... Belle Book 12-01-11 1
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... krismiss2us 12-01-11 8
       Finally! foonermints 12-01-11 10
       RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... Belle Book 12-02-11 11
           RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... foonermints 12-02-11 13
               RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... kingfish 12-03-11 14
                   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... agman 12-03-11 15
                       RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... kingfish 12-03-11 16
                           RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... agman 12-03-11 17
                   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... Belle Book 12-03-11 21
                       RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... krismiss2us 12-05-11 24
                           RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... Belle Book 12-05-11 26
                               Honey-Pie! foonermints 12-05-11 27
                                   RE: Honey-Pie! Belle Book 12-05-11 28
                                       Hidden Idol: A Closer Look: foonermints 12-05-11 29
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... mrc 12-01-11 2
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... agman 12-01-11 6
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... krismiss2us 12-01-11 9
       RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... agman 12-02-11 12
           RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... krismiss2us 12-05-11 25
               RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... agman 12-05-11 30
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... suzzee 12-01-11 3
 Wait I'm not done yet suzzee 12-01-11 4
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... kingfish 12-01-11 5
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... suzzee 12-03-11 19
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... agman 12-01-11 7
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... suzzee 12-03-11 18
       Sounds To Me foonermints 12-03-11 20
       RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... agman 12-06-11 32
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “C... Scarlett O Hara 12-03-11 22
 This Time really for sure Accurate... kingfish 12-04-11 23
   This Time really for sure Accurate... suzzee 12-06-11 31
   Pissario: A Closer Look: foonermints 12-07-11 33
       RE: Pissario: A Closer Look: kingfish 12-07-11 34

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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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12-01-11, 11:59 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
Looks like Cochran was the odd man out of the musical chairs and will have to spend time on Redemption Island. I'll bet Ozzy is thrilled with this turn of events!

As for Brandon -- I'm glad he doesn't have me either! He's not nasty but he's a real emotional wreck!


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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
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12-01-11, 08:28 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
nah...you still loooooooooove him and want to maaaaaaaaarry him....


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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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12-01-11, 11:00 PM (EST)
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10. "Finally!"
The Truth.

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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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12-02-11, 11:48 AM (EST)
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11. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
(Chuckles at this)

Nah, not really.


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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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12-02-11, 11:50 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
Sounds like a "green light" to me!


C'mon baby, talk to me. That was just a little "love kick".

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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12-03-11, 10:21 AM (EST)
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14. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
"Here comes the Bride,
Tied up and gagged in white,
Here comes the Groom,
Stinking up the room..."

I'm sorry, I promised myself that I wouldn't cry..(sniff).

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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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12-03-11, 03:51 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
I always thought it was:
Here comes the bride,
Big, fat, and wide,
With a sausage, sticking to her side............


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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12-03-11, 05:54 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
It was. Until I changed it.

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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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12-03-11, 06:11 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
Well, you didn't run that change by me!!!



Nobody tells me anything anymore!

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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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12-03-11, 09:00 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
Love the song -- don't love the Groom! Get me out of here!


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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
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12-05-11, 11:13 AM (EST)
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24. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
Awww. But if ya'll got married, you could have a bunch of little troll idols...just like the duggars!


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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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12-05-11, 12:04 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
No way, no how, no chance! I'm getting outta here!

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12-05-11, 01:56 PM (EST)
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27. "Honey-Pie!"
Wait! Let's just have one little "git-together"!


Gimme some sugar, baby!

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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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12-05-11, 05:51 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: Honey-Pie!"
Actually, I'm scrambling to get away from your uncle Troll, not so much you. However, that doesn't mean I want to marry you either. Sorry.


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12-05-11, 08:24 PM (EST)
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29. "Hidden Idol: A Closer Look:"
Waal, waal! Y'all look like a little Troll yersef, don'tcha?


We always hate what we see of ourselves in others. *sigh*
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12-01-11, 01:39 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
I've made my decision. Edna and Brandon are going with me to the F3. Cockroach was too much of a threat, a burgeoning Dragonslayer to watch out for (and by burgeoning Dragonslayer, I don't mean his penis).

Tribefied

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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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12-01-11, 06:28 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
I'm so happy to hear you say that because it was getting depressing knowing that I'm number six and there's nothing I can do about it and that I'm not as valued as many of my tribe members...........*takes breath


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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
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12-01-11, 08:28 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
honestly, it really doesn't matter who you take to the finals...you're most likely gonna win. it's about time, man!


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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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12-02-11, 01:14 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
Jeff, God help us if you actually think coach will win! Yeech!


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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
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12-05-11, 11:14 AM (EST)
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25. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
Edna, how delusional are you if you think you actually have a shot at this game?


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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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12-05-11, 09:51 PM (EST)
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30. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
Sure I can...I have helped with the tribe, pretended to be interested in what dumbarse coach says. I Voted WITH rather than against my tribe and I just think I should win. Hmph


Take enough shots of happy gas Jeff, and you'll believe anything!

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12-01-11, 02:03 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
even the way that he breaks wind is going to effect the outcome of the game

eeww


On to the news! Oh Ozzzzzzzy, guess who's coming to dinner, and breakfast?? Oh boy it's the dragonslayerette, that guy that's afraid to hold a fish. Wait. Is that code or something?

Love, love, love the way the bowling ball spelt Cochran's name! BWAHAHA. Cokran! Howdy Mr Cokran how's your day goin'? Rough ride? I got some cream for that.


Your Low Rent Island Getaway


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12-01-11, 02:39 PM (EST)
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4. "Wait I'm not done yet"
Cokran: YOU get to WHINE about YOUR friends not being grateful enough to keep you? You think anyone can trust a little weasel like you enough to keep you around? Yes you little jerk they used you like a condom and I know you don't know what that's for but when it's used it gets sent to RI. No go tell Ozzy what a bunch of meanies those Upolus are.



Your Low Rent Island Getaway


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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12-01-11, 03:48 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
Hola, from down south of the border, down Old Mexico way, where the cacti prickle and the iguanas sing all day;

"Ay ay ay ay
Canta y no llores
Porque cantando se alegran
Cieltio lindo los corazones

And so on and so forth.

We recently returned from a sandy vacation in Baja. Actually a bit more sandy than we had planned, we didn't realize how deep sand could penetrate when one rolled down dunes in the nude. Not even strenuous body surfing would get it out of some of the places it reached. But not to worry, we spent hours and hours probing and probing, and now we are sand free. I did most of the probing myself, and I did not mind it a bit. It actually became a giggle-fest.

Surfing proved to be kinda awkward for my raunchy girls, something about big boobs and butts built for comfort (iykwim) throws off the center of gravity and makes for some pretty hilarious spills. Boobs over butts crashing down the crests of waves, yeee haw! We have edited a pretty funny video that we intend to show at the next Raunchy Girl School seminar.

And while we were there, well wouldn't you know it, but a by now familiar porpoise swam up with a note in it's blow hole (Editors note: OK, my girls want to know why the porpoises get to call theirs a blow hole, and my girls don't? Seems unfair, and technically incorrect...but I digress) with a note - Oh yeah, I said that - from my undisclosed and unnamed but *definitely not Hantz-ilized in anyway, source.

And so, without further delay, here are the latest and slimiest, most disgustingness and really really filthy ('cause Brandon is in them) inside spoilers:

Spoiler #1: The ever and always filthy Hantz scion went to Redemption Island to watch Don lose because she yoned and dropped the plates, then went to TC where he cried Hantz tears and voted off Cokrun. Again, the Texas Public School system cringed in horror, claiming that Brandon is actually from Louisiana, that he is home schooled, and that a dog ate his diploma.

Spoiler #2: Cochran, the self professed Survivor expert, learns what every casual Survivor fan learned on day one, that the main Survivor strategy is to not be number seven on a tribe of seven, and that the easiest way to become number seven on a tribe of seven is to betray your tribe (because they didn't treat you nice enough) and join a six member tribe.

And he is sad, nay INSULTED! when he learns that his new tribe was just using him. It just seems dishonest to him. How dare they use him in this way on the day that he told them was his birthday. Which was, of course, a lie.

DUH!!

Spoiler #3: Actually, considering Rick Nelson's spinelessness so far, Texas really doesn't have much to brag about this season. Kinda tied with Harvard for the "I Don't Know Them" alumnus award.

Spoiler #4: John Cochran is now to be called John "Liver Lips" Cochran, by one and all. Except, as mentioned, by Brandon.

Spoiler #5: Whitney cleans up real nice.

Spoiler #6: Albert gets a nick name. "Prince Albert, the Sling King". Actually he gets another one too, "Fire-Killer"

(* Disclaimer. Yeah, I know, you read a disclaimer and think it means something. It doesn't. Don't mean #####.)


Tribe really should stop falling for the "let me just hold that sig for a minute, I'll give it right back" ploy.

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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12-03-11, 08:51 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
Oh Senor! How I have missed news and gossip of the girls and your dedication to their welfare.

So nice that you spent so much time with the sand, I'm rather full of sand myself.

Spoiler 1 & 2: Just keep filthy Hantz off me. Cokran is an expert, ex: out of, spert: drip under pressure. Therefore anything coming out of Cokran is out of a drip under pressure. word.

Spoiler #3,4,5: I know, right?
Spoiler #6: Sling King >snort<


Island Chat, Sundays at 8


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12-01-11, 06:30 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"

It's going to get rough and toothless"

Somehow that sounds like Coach got his idiom backwards!


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12-03-11, 08:32 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
Oh nonsense, he loves it rough and toothless. oh no I did not just say that.....oh no she dint...oh yes she did.


Coach is such an idiom


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12-03-11, 08:53 PM (EST)
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20. "Sounds To Me"
Like another "green light"..


I ain't never settin' foot on you, 'cuz I'm a winner! Wait! am I? SURE I AM! No I ain't.. Mebbe.. GAH! Got's me the Devil!! Gots me THE LORD!! Get away Satan! No I loves you! No I don't! Yes I do! AAAAaaaaaaah!

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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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12-06-11, 03:10 PM (EST)
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32. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
>Oh nonsense, he loves it rough
>and toothless.


Thats why we call him "Dr. Gums"


And...the Dr. is Always in!

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12-03-11, 10:47 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep12: “Cult Lite ”"
With Dawn and Whitney, I enjoyed my little island of Shangri-La - it was fun with the girls while it lasted. We enjoyed skinny dipping and running naked through the trees. Now, what do I have to look forward to? Cochran? A wimpy,spineless worm of a man... * shivers * ... I think I'm going to heave!!!


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12-04-11, 01:37 PM (EST)
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23. "This Time really for sure Accurate Sourced Spoilers"
LAST EDITED ON 12-05-11 AT 00:04 AM (EST)

Hola, mis amigos e amigas, it is I, your favorito source for the most accurate inside source spoilers you ever in your life saw. Senor Pissario. Bringing to you the latest and greatest and very much the Raunchiest news from our temporary location of the School of Raunch located this week in the Grande Putas Montańas in Old Mexico.

We have to relocate from week to week because the locals don't take too kindly to our attempts to educate their sons and daughters in the Tai Chi of Raunchdom. And they especially don't like it when the Raunchy Girls raid their villages on their Vespa Hogs and fornicate inventively in the village fountains. They even complain when, exercising their right to freedom of nudity, they pants the village elders.

Ah, my Band of Ranchitas, I am sometimes so proud that I could burst.

But enough about my dear estudiantes, you want to learn the latest inside Survivor spoilers, and so you shall. These tidbits are, by the way, the the result of years of investigative research by my team of inside informants who do not have the *Hantz recessive stigmata gene, which so far as modern science can find, is a bad thing and has no redeeming value.


Spoiler #1: The next episode is the annual family visit episode and will feature yet one more Hantz. One more Anti-Darwinist step in retro-evolution will be revealed.

Spoiler #2: The next challenge will test the integrity and honesty of the castaways. This will be the first challenge in Survivor history that no one will win. Jeff will have to employ the pick-a-rock tie breaker to determine a winner. Or as Brandon would say, thuh pik-uh-rok.

Spoiler #3: Cochran will compete against Dolphin boy, also known amongst the producers as "Our Hero". Cochran won't have a one legged chicken's chance on a South Pacific Island full of American castaways craving KFC. Or a bottle of Vodka's chance in Courtney Love's house. Or a Big Mac's chance in Kirstie Alley's house. He don't got no chance.

Spoiler #4: Prince Albert will once again demonstrate the effectiveness of the game strategy "lie around camp and make fun of those who are washing your clothes and cleaning up after you". This worked so well for Spencer and Heidi on "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here" and he figures it will work for him too. Obviously Albert didn't catch the end of that season.

Spoiler #5: With Cowboy Rick Nelson we see that the theory about Texas cowboys and their horses is true, that the horse that is the smart one, and that without his "Old Paint", well, Rick doesn't really have much to say. Sometimes he says "Moo" just to see if he can get a answer.

Spoiler #6: The RI pygmies toss "Liver Lips" Cochran back. Not because of a the lack of meat on his bones - and he is bony, not because he's a self proclaimed Survivor expert who nonetheless makes a basic rookie error, or a Harvard law student, but because they don't want to ruin their appetite for BBQ Coach Kabobs. Or coach stew. They don't really care how he's cooked, they just want to chew on his ass.

(*Disclaimer. About what? Eh, who cares.)


Tribe's 'tell' is that he shouts Wooo Hooo when he has an Ace.

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12-06-11, 01:01 PM (EST)
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31. "This Time really for sure Accurate Sourced Spoilers....sure, got it."
Senor, you are so proud you burst with joy.

The Island speaks.....yeah, yeah just get on with it.

Spoiler 1: More filthy Hantz to dodge.

Spoiler 2: You can pick your rock, you can pick your friends but you can't pick your friend's rocks. imagine the herpes

Spoiler 3: Or a chance of finding a virgin in Sr. P's graduating class.

Spoiler 4: Do you have Prince Albert in the can? If so hand him some leaves, he needs to come out.

Spoiler 5: He needs Mr. Ed.

Spoiler 6: Cokran, Jonnie Cokran.


This week on the Island: One and a Half men.


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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

12-07-11, 00:29 AM (EST)
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33. "Pissario: A Closer Look:"

troll whisperer

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

12-07-11, 04:48 PM (EST)
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34. "RE: Pissario: A Closer Look:"
That does explain a lot.


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