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"“Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep09: “Let Me ‘splain It To You Lucy”"
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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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11-09-11, 11:26 PM (EST)
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"“Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep09: “Let Me ‘splain It To You Lucy”"

Cochran attempts to explain his actions to Ozzy, but he forgets to use his words. His former tribe is executing the patented “Savaii Freeze Out”, while the Upolu tribe embraces the Lucille Ball look-alike, seeing the opportunity to serve up a powerful Pagonging to Ozzy & Company.

Meanwhile, the subject of “honor” is shoved to the forefront once again. Dawn offered her honor, they honored her offer and all night they were on her and off her. It seems that Dawn’s likeability and her newfound success at challenges makes Jim nervous, but when Jim attacks Cochran’s honor, it’s Brandon to his defense once again.

That’s about the extent of my psychic abilities. More to follow…




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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep09: “L... kingfish 11-10-11 1
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep09: “L... Belle Book 11-10-11 2
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep09: “L... suzzee 11-11-11 3
       Kids?! foonermints 11-14-11 5
           RE: Kids?! agman 11-15-11 6
               RE: Kids?! suzzee 11-16-11 12
           RE: Kids?! krismiss2us 11-15-11 8
               RE: Kids?! agman 11-16-11 9
                   RE: Kids?! suzzee 11-16-11 10
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep09: “L... kingfish 11-12-11 4
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep09: “L... agman 11-15-11 7
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep09: “L... suzzee 11-16-11 11
 It's time for the Island Snausage F... suzzee 11-16-11 13

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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11-10-11, 03:01 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep09: “Let Me ‘splain It To You Lucy”"
Hola, it is a pleasure for me, Senor Pissario, to be meeting with you fine folks again, here in the Perdido Mountains of Mexico, in this bat cave that the School of Really Raunchy Girls is presently occupying.

We are here because of two things, first, the Raunchiness of my girls kinda got out of hand. We got kicked out of an old Convent we had been renting in the village, and there was this thing with the Federales that we couldn't seem to see eye to eye about. Mainly because the girls were attempting to see eye to something else (IYNWIM) and the wives of the Federales caught them en flagrante.

And second, because the girls just wanted to go commando in the Jungle, swing thru the vines au naturale with the wind in their stuff, so to speak, and letting the minnows nip clean their naughty parts in the clear mountain streams. And camping in a bat cave just seemed like the proper go with. Me, I am spending all my time teaching the girls to snorkel and practicing the breast stroke. Simultaneously. Multitasking.

And wouldn't you know it, but a trained porpoise with a note stashed in it's blow hole (stop giggling, girls, porpoises have blow holes too) swam up to us, delivered the note, socialized a little, then said "Adios" in porpoise speak, and swam off. It should be noted that this Porpoise was not a trained relative of the *Hantz clan , which should be pretty obvious because it didn't seem to be a disciple of the Devil, nor did it leave hash marks when it sat down and had a couple shots of tequila.

Spoiler #1: The Association of the Midget Bullies have voted to pin a medal on Brandon for representing a larger tribe and soundly telling off a smaller tribe. "Way to go, Brandon" the award will read, "For a runt who's been picked on all your life by larger people, you really represented yourself when you got a chance to reverse the roles and pick on crying women when they were helpless. That's the way to give them thumb in the eye while they are down, Brandon, we're all just so proud of you".

Spoiler #2: The Association of Lucy lookalikes will award the "Ethyl" award to John "I'm still not a Girl" Cock-run. Although this was an award bought and paid for by the EPMB for his own twisted reasons, it is still none the less well earned and well deserved. He will place that on his mantel beside his Oscar for "Worst Double Agent in History" award.

Spoiler #3: Unbenownst to anyone, Brandon snuck two of the peeled and seductive coconuts away from the coconut throw challenge last week, and has been taking long walks with them deep into the jungle. Seems he actually does miss Mikayla's Boobies, afterall, and fondles them rememberly.

Spoiler #4: Ozzy is taking longer and longer swims, now going outside the reef. And those gills behind his ears are becoming more and more evident. Soon our little Dolphin boy will swim out to sea, never to return.

Except, of course he will return this summer for Big Brother, for next season's Dancing with the Stars, X-Factor, American Idol, The Amazing Race, and The Voice, because never fear, we haven't heard the last of the "Ozzy" franchise.

Spoiler #5: Dawn will officially admit that yes, she is a whore, and that the Mormon thing was just an act to explain why she waited until all the other women were emaciated enough so that she could take her top off and still compete.

(*Disclaimer. En Sotto voice)


Hey, I deserve this. Prying this sig out of Tribe's cold, cold, death grip was really very difficult.

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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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11-10-11, 05:35 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep09: “Let Me ‘splain It To You Lucy”"
Why don't you give Ozzy an Razzie for Worst Actor in History award? That would fit him -- Dolphin Boy isn't going to win any Oscars for his acting ability ever.


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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11-11-11, 12:30 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep09: “Let Me ‘splain It To You Lucy”"
Spoiler 1: Brandon, Brandon, Brandon. Do you realize this show will be available on youtube when your kids hit the terrible teens? Good luck explaining to them, and you think your battling demons now.

Spoiler 2: Wait until someone googles you when they're looking for a lawyer. Well, Coach will always need a little buddy.

Spoiler 3: see spoiler 1 comment

Spoiler 4: Ozzy gets a job at Sea World as an interpreter.

Spoiler 5: Nobody wants a mom lurking around when you're trying to lie, cheat, sabotage, and win a bunch of cash.


This week: South Pacific Sausage Fest Island 2011


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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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11-14-11, 02:45 PM (EST)
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5. "Kids?!"
What kids? I've resisted the temptation to do the nasty! ..but I really wanted to. NO I DIDN"T! yes I did! NO! NO!


You are just mean! I'm going to hang with my new buddy, "Cocky".

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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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11-15-11, 10:47 AM (EST)
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6. "RE: Kids?!"
hang with
my new buddy, "Cocky".

Is that code?



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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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11-16-11, 10:59 AM (EST)
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12. "RE: Kids?!"
maaaaaaybe



Boo Hoo

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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
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11-15-11, 08:08 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Kids?!"
Please tell me he hasn't reproduced. there are enough of these hanzs in the world to last a lifetime and then some


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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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11-16-11, 10:47 AM (EST)
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9. "RE: Kids?!"
He may have tried to reproduce with his hand Rosey, but I'll bet that's about as close as he has gotten.


I wouldn't be surprised if Choch has done better.

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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11-16-11, 10:54 AM (EST)
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10. "RE: Kids?!"
Nope, not even that. He's too busy shaving his hantz. LMAO! I cracked myself up.


Boo Hoo

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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11-12-11, 03:53 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep09: “Let Me ‘splain It To You Lucy”"
Spoiler: Johnnie "not THAT Johnnie" Cochran, noobie partner in the island law firm of Moe, Larry, and Shemp, denied once again that a crime had been committed. He pointed out that the bloody glove found behind the pool house had to have been planted by a bigoted police monkey, and that the person that stabbed Ozzy in the back was not he.

And if it was, he could explain...




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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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11-15-11, 06:39 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep09: “Let Me ‘splain It To You Lucy”"
LAST EDITED ON 11-15-11 AT 06:39 PM (EST)

ROFLMAO



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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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11-16-11, 10:58 AM (EST)
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11. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep09: “Let Me ‘splain It To You Lucy”"
I've seen his business cards, he's with the firm Weasel, Pastey and Hantz. They're offices are under the last rock on the left. Near the beach where the sewage treatment plant discharges.


Your Low Rent Island Getaway


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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11-16-11, 11:22 AM (EST)
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13. "It's time for the Island Snausage Fest "
Finally the Boys are back in town and it's about time!

In the first corner of our little testosterone triangle is the dark and mysterious Keith Partridge (of course I crushed on Keith Partridge, well until he got all old and sh!t anyway).

Keith was brought to RI by none other then the ever floppy Heeeeeeeeeeerrrrrsssssss Johnny "Not that Jonny", the man on the bottom of another alliance. He should get used to that spot I've a feeling he's going to be in that position no matter where he goes or who he's with.

On to our next corner contender none other then the man with the Jokers, the Dude of Doobies Jim "Sinsimella no last names please" Source. Ah Jimbo, did you leave more sand drawings for the rest of the gang? How many chapters did you leave carved in the dirt? Apparently Johnny da' Weasel still is working his magic marker to get rid of all of his haters.

Last but not least, it's Oz man out. He bounces back more then my checkbook, of course I give him props for his fabulous hair this season, it must be all that ocean water making him all shiny and manageable. No need to worry about him going all postal on Johnny Dearest you don't get hair like that by hanging out on the streets.

Well, night is falling and tomorrow we will see just how handy these guys really are. Island out.


Buns cost extra


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