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"“Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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10-13-11, 03:11 AM (EST)
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"“Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"

“Benjamin! Benjamin! Benjamin!” replaces “Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!” in the childish lexicon as Stacey speaks her mind. Albert comes out of his trailer, finds his voice and shows up on our radar screens. Elyse wins a no-expense paid vacation to Rundown Island and Ozzy declares himself a Free Agent.

And we haven’t even gotten to the Honey Glazed, Non-Kosher, Bacteria-laden BBQ Buffet shared by the Uvula and Salivate tribes.

Chew on that, and I’ll be back soon with the five course meal.




Mark "20% tip included for large parties" Burnett
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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... mrc 10-13-11 1
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... Belle Book 10-13-11 4
       I Ahm a Nice guy! foonermints 10-14-11 8
           RE: I Ahm a Nice guy! Belle Book 10-14-11 10
               Like foonermints 10-14-11 12
                   RE: Like Belle Book 10-15-11 14
                       No, They Ain't! foonermints 10-15-11 18
                           RE: No, They Ain't! michel 10-16-11 26
                               Oh Great! foonermints 10-16-11 28
                                   RE: Oh Great! Belle Book 10-16-11 29
                                       RE: Oh Great! foonermints 10-16-11 31
                                       RE: Oh Great! krismiss2us 10-17-11 32
                                           RE: Oh Great! Belle Book 10-17-11 43
                                               RE: Oh Great! krismiss2us 10-18-11 46
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... michel 10-16-11 21
       RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... mrc 10-17-11 42
           RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... michel 10-18-11 48
 Hey Miki >clap clap< hey Miki >clap... suzzee 10-13-11 2
   RE: Hey Miki >clap clap< hey Miki >... michel 10-16-11 22
       RE: Hey Miki >clap clap< hey Miki >... krismiss2us 10-17-11 33
           RE: Hey Miki >clap clap< hey Miki >... michel 10-17-11 41
               RE: Hey Miki >clap clap< hey Miki >... krismiss2us 10-18-11 47
                   RE: Hey Miki >clap clap< hey Miki >... michel 10-18-11 49
                       I think I just threw up a little jbug 10-19-11 50
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... kingfish 10-13-11 3
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... michel 10-16-11 23
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... kingfish 10-13-11 5
   Blue team ain't Honka Dory caseymagoo 10-16-11 30
       RE: Blue team ain't Honka Dory krismiss2us 10-17-11 34
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... MissMyth 10-13-11 6
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... michel 10-16-11 24
       RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... MissMyth 10-17-11 44
           RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... michel 10-17-11 45
           RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... kingfish 10-19-11 51
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... jbug 10-14-11 7
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... foonermints 10-14-11 9
       RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... cahaya 10-15-11 15
           RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... michel 10-16-11 25
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... krismiss2us 10-17-11 35
       RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... jbug 10-17-11 38
           RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... krismiss2us 10-17-11 39
               RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... kingfish 10-17-11 40
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... Scarlett O Hara 10-14-11 11
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... suzzee 10-15-11 13
   Been Thinkin' foonermints 10-15-11 17
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “T... michel 10-16-11 27
 Why gasoline in your crotch is a ba... kingfish 10-15-11 16
   RE: Why gasoline in your crotch is ... suzzee 10-16-11 19
       Seasoned and Re-Seasoned kingfish 10-16-11 20
   RE: Why gasoline in your crotch is ... caseymagoo 10-17-11 37
 for three seasons now... krismiss2us 10-17-11 36

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Messages in this topic

mrc 10020 desperate attention whore postings
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10-13-11, 09:36 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
I am Coach effin Wade, and the next person who calls me Benjamin is going to have to slobber over a slab of meat and contract oral herpes. And I don't mean my penis.

Tribefied

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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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10-13-11, 04:55 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
Well, you can't get rid of me so I can call you whatever I want. However, since I think Stacey was acting like an idiot I'll call you Coach.

Anyway, I would've personally preferred Edna, Mikayla or even Albert or Sophie to have found me, I'm glad you found me and not Brandon -- even if he's really trying to be a nice guy!


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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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10-14-11, 05:20 PM (EST)
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8. "I Ahm a Nice guy!"
It's just that Ah've been tugged between good and evil mah whole laafe. *sobs* But Ahm still gonna get you someday. It's in mah huntin' genes. *forbiddenpinch*

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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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10-14-11, 08:12 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: I Ahm a Nice guy!"
I believe you when you say that you've been tugged between your good and bad sides. I just hope that you take into account the point of view of the jury if you get far enough to face them. Your Uncle Troll not only failed to take the jury's attitudes into account, he practically gloated about stepping over them to face them! That's what I hated most about Troll -- his absolute failure to take the social game into account!


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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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10-14-11, 10:32 PM (EST)
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12. "Like"
Ahm gonna listen to some ding-dongy thing!


Don't need any dumb social game. Got me oil wells!

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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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10-15-11, 09:41 AM (EST)
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14. "RE: Like"
You need the social game on Survivor, at least! Did you forget the two times you faced the jury, only to lose 5-2 in the first one and to be totally shut out in the second? I didn't, and I know it's because you rubbed your victory over the jurors in their faces! Jurors are human, after all.


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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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10-15-11, 09:58 PM (EST)
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18. "No, They Ain't!"
Humans have brains! Monkeys have brains! If they'd a had any brains they all woulda given me the money!

Asides, the best part is rubbing it in. That dumb 'ol Brandon will figure that out, soon as he comes over to the dark side.


Not gonna be no cookies, neither! Sludge knows it's own! Always comes back to the puddle, dingy-dong.

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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10-16-11, 12:58 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: No, They Ain't!"
The jury is always right. They don't always have brains but that doesn't stop most. You shouldn't count on them having brains because then they wouldn't be on the jury in the first place!


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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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10-16-11, 01:18 PM (EST)
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28. "Oh Great!"
Now I's caught between a dingy-dong and an infected Dork!

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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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10-16-11, 03:58 PM (EST)
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29. "RE: Oh Great!"
Ha! You deserve it, Troll!


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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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10-16-11, 11:20 PM (EST)
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31. "RE: Oh Great!"
It's a lot better than something that lives in tree crotches, butt-cracks and Gawd knows where else, until it's called out at the last minute to pull off a "happy ending".


Kinda reminds me of the song: "I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except Mine."

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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
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10-17-11, 01:19 AM (EST)
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32. "RE: Oh Great!"

*kiss kiss smooch smooch* you know you love the troll, HI


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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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10-17-11, 07:24 PM (EST)
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43. "RE: Oh Great!"
LAST EDITED ON 10-17-11 AT 08:10 PM (EST)

No, I don't, Jeff! And I'll get Coach to hit you on the head with me if you continue suggesting that I love Troll!


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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
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10-18-11, 09:39 PM (EST)
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46. "RE: Oh Great!"

Benji can hit me all he wants. It don't change the fact that you loooooooove the troll. you want to kiiiiiiiiiiss the troll. you want to maaaaaaaarry the troll. *snort*


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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10-16-11, 12:35 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
Is it alright if we call you Benji? It fits much better.

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mrc 10020 desperate attention whore postings
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10-17-11, 05:13 PM (EST)
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42. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
If you want your teeth kicked in, you four-eyed freak.

Tribefied
Good thing my Zen is so centered.

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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10-18-11, 10:01 PM (EST)
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48. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
You'd have to catch me first and I am harder to catch than herpes.


I'm pretty sure the only reason those pygmees didn't eat your ass is because your carcass is rotten.

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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10-13-11, 09:58 AM (EST)
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2. "Hey Miki >clap clap< hey Miki >clap clap<"
Hey Miki oooooh, I just love that song! Well, Stacy sure spilled her guts didn't she? Wait....what was that all about and who is Benjamin anyway? No matter, Big Al told me it was sour grapes and ick, who wants any of that. Sigh, this is boring. I wonder when I'm going to meet Benjamin? Golly, I hope he'll want me in his alliance mmmm-mm-mmmm, la tee da dum dilddly tee tee loo hey Miki I'm so fine, I'm so fine I blow my mind, Hey Miki >clap clap< hey Miki >clap clap<. Call me when it's time to go play Survivor.......


Boo Hoo Hey I got to go to RI YAY! Did I miss something?

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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10-16-11, 12:40 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: Hey Miki >clap clap< hey Miki >clap clap<"
LAST EDITED ON 10-16-11 AT 12:40 PM (EST)

You should come play with me. Let me show you the little Cochran that can!


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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
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10-17-11, 01:20 AM (EST)
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33. "RE: Hey Miki >clap clap< hey Miki >clap clap<"

dude, you are never gonna tap that


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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10-17-11, 03:16 PM (EST)
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41. "RE: Hey Miki >clap clap< hey Miki >clap clap<"
You wouldn't have been with Julie if she hadn't been star-struck.
Wait until I win the million. She'll be all over the little Cochran.

Receiving votes every weeks reminds me of someone in another game!

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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
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10-18-11, 09:40 PM (EST)
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47. "RE: Hey Miki >clap clap< hey Miki >clap clap<"

even if you win, you still won't be tappin that buddy!



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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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10-18-11, 10:04 PM (EST)
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49. "RE: Hey Miki >clap clap< hey Miki >clap clap<"
Says you! Didn't you notice that Miki hasn't said a thing one way or the other. I planted a Cochran seed in her mind!

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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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10-19-11, 09:40 AM (EST)
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50. "I think I just threw up a little "
Cochran and planted seed in the same sentence?

ewwwwwww *barf*


Tennessee girls have fire and ice in our blood! We can ride 4wheelers and horses, be a princess, love with a passion, throw left hooks, fish and hunt with the guys, and if we have an opinion you're gonna hear it! Proud to be one....

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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10-13-11, 12:19 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
LAST EDITED ON 10-13-11 AT 10:27 PM (EST)

Hola, eet ees yo, Senor Pissario, with more noticias from the Isla de los locos in the South Pacifico. Me and my really really friendly (if you like Raunchiness) Raunchitas are here at the south-of-the border branch of the Finishing School for extravagantly Raunchy Senoritas just doing our thing. Well, the girls are doing my thing and I am doing theirs. Sometimes we do our own thing.

We just ordered frijoles and tacos from the takeout and delivery cantina, and will continue our all out free for all orgy when we wake up from our after lunch siesta. When we get through with eating, napping, and copulating, we will grease up our Vespa choppers (compliments of the Tangerine County Choppers) and re-terrorize the local villagers and innocent bystanders. A busy day for us, and a day of hell for our neighbors. Life is good, la Puro Vida.

Stuck to the underside of a burrito are the latest insider spoilers from our faithful (and yet faithless) inside spoiler source, Mr *not-Hantz who asks that his compliments be passed along with the following. We will do so and omit that he accompanies his compliments with a bean fart:

Spoiler #1: Coach Benjamin announces that if anyone calls him Benjamin to his face that he will go nuts. He says that his parents have called him Coach since he was a kid. His parents call the EPMB with a correction. He is nuts and his parent have called him that since he was a kid, and that even the pygmies call him Benjamin just to watch him become unwrapped.

Spoiler #2: Elyse steps onto RI to a very warm welcome from Christine. Christine purrs and declares that she is just so happy to see Elyse, and asks what did those bad men back in her camp do to her? She also informs Elyse that so far it's just been her and the other girls on RI, and that so far she has licked them all. Papa bear did his girly best to fit in, and Christine showed him just what he had to do. She asks Elyse if she has ever spent the night alone on a deserted island with another woman before, and did she know that only a woman can really understand what a woman needs?

Elyse says that she respects Christine, but that she will do her best to lick her, and she expects that Christine will do the same.

The night shift cameraman gets more material for his Survivor After Dark series he plans to run on Playboy TV.

Spoiler #3: Grossoutman (as Cochran is now being referred to) announces during the evening campfire get together that he has contagious oral herpes, and that now, after the last challenge, they probably have it too. And, as if that were not enough, that he also has probably passed on mouth/cervical cancer that he contracted performing oral sex on a friend, and that if the others are lucky just their jaws will rot away and they won't die a horribly mangled and painful death.

He thinks that the gagging he hears in the dark is laughter, and he is so pleased that his social skills are finally working.

Spoiler #4: Keith reveals a tattoo of a compass on his side. You know, so that this genius won't get lost. I will always be orient-ta-ted he proudly mis-announces.

Spoiler #5: The twist to be revealed next week will be that Shambo returns to chase her chickens.


(*Disclaimer. Don't you just love lawyers?)


Tribal art. Just fell out the back of his lorry.

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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10-16-11, 12:45 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
Now, I may have herpes because I played in your disgusting challenge. What is this? Survivor or Fear factor?


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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10-13-11, 10:36 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
Spoiler #6: The storyline of Stacy, "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was wham convincing the world he did not exist."

And like that... bam she is gone.



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caseymagoo 59 desperate attention whore postings
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10-16-11, 06:42 PM (EST)
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30. " Blue team ain't Honka Dory"
They all fakes, didn't you hear me tell Jeff that blue team all 26, 22, they all listen to Benjamin's chucky the cheese mutter mutter loyalty grumble they going off the beef mutter mutter every day got a story grumble NO mutter they try the tribe mumble cahoots mumble mud boots. keep that hug, BOOM.


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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
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10-17-11, 01:21 AM (EST)
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34. "RE: Blue team ain't Honka Dory"

Stacey,

All I can say about your exit speech is HUH????


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MissMyth 352 desperate attention whore postings
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10-13-11, 11:00 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
Ozzzzyyyyyy! (in a tone so high only dolphins can hear)

What happened?!? It's supposed to be you, me, and ... um ... those other people.

I contracted Coch-train herpes for nothing.

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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10-16-11, 12:47 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
Wham! Bam! Thank you, mam!


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MissMyth 352 desperate attention whore postings
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10-17-11, 10:11 PM (EST)
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44. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
Just wait herpesboy!

I'm gonna lick Christine at the next challenge and then lick every challenger after that.
{Senor Pissario, happy now ;)}

Then I'm coming back and I'm gonna scalp you with a seashell. Then I'll skin you slowly, brain tan your hide and give it to my Ozdolphin to wear as a raincape. My native ancesters said that the Great Spirit gives each creature just enough brains to tan his own hide, but in your case I might have to use Jim's to finish. I got no problem with that.

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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10-17-11, 11:01 PM (EST)
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45. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
She likes it rough! Sounds like fun foreplay!


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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10-19-11, 10:50 AM (EST)
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51. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
Gracias. I am happy now. Maybe that joke was still good for a few more spoilers, but still, we must move on.

Now we'll see who will get in the last lick.

(Oopsy, did it again)


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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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10-14-11, 09:33 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
“They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”

You know? I think there might be a country music song in that somehow....



Tennessee girls have fire and ice in our blood! We can ride 4wheelers and horses, be a princess, love with a passion, throw left hooks, fish and hunt with the guys, and if we have an opinion you're gonna hear it! Proud to be one....

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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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10-14-11, 05:49 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
Yep, kinda like: "There Ain't Enough Room In My Fruit Of The Looms To Hold All My Lovin' For You"

Whares mah geetar?


Go 'way Evil! Wait! Come back! NO Go 'way! Wait! Didn't mean that! NO Noooooo!

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cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings
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10-15-11, 10:43 AM (EST)
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15. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
Reminds me o' that song by that Walker Hayes fella:

She can wear the pants, she can run the show
She can crack a whip like Indiana Jones
She can rule the roost, she can snap and holler
She can wear the pants as long as I can take 'em off her

Well, she can push me around
But when the sun goes down
Look out, there's a new sheriff in town

Well, I get a whole lot of flak from the fellas
But I reckon that they're just jealous

She can wear the pants, she can run the show
She can crack a whip like Indiana Jones
She can rule the roost, she can snap and holler
She can wear the pants as long as I can take 'em off her

Long as I can take 'em off her
Yeah, long as I can take 'em off her
Long as I can take 'em off her

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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10-16-11, 12:51 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
Look Rick, I don't want to burst your bubble but with only a couple of words in each episode, you'd never be able to get that song on the air. What's the point of being on the show if you are not shown? You have to be a character like me.


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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
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10-17-11, 01:22 AM (EST)
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35. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"

Whitney, if I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?


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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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10-17-11, 09:07 AM (EST)
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38. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
You know I have a boyfriend, right?

psst.... meet me behind that tree over there....


Tennessee girls have fire and ice in our blood! We can ride 4wheelers and horses, be a princess, love with a passion, throw left hooks, fish and hunt with the guys, and if we have an opinion

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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

10-17-11, 09:48 AM (EST)
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39. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"

I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight!

*psst...I don't care if you have a boyfriend. I'm famous and rich and way better looking*

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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10-17-11, 11:31 AM (EST)
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40. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
aaaaand...

Spoiler: Whitney is accepted as a undergraduate student in Slut Studies at the School for really really Raunchy Girls who do it on Vespas and behind trees.

Let's all raise our bottles of tequila and toast Whitney.


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Scarlett O Hara 3259 desperate attention whore postings
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10-14-11, 10:13 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
Peace and love, peace and love. That's all I ever asked from this tribe. And what did I get? Betrayal.

Well, I think I need to disassociate myself from every one on this island. No more fish for you or shelters for two. From now on I am a free agent, that is, unless Whitney cares to join me.

I've got the idol, so I'm going to enjoy watching everyone scramble the next time we show up at TC.

Now, leave me alone while I go find my stash.

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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10-15-11, 09:26 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
LAST EDITED ON 10-15-11 AT 09:27 AM (EST)

What? No Ozzlets? Maybe you two can hook up over here.

Roll cameras "Forbidden Island Rendezvous" Take 2. Elyse wins the hair and make-up duel against Chrismean, and Ozzy (Is that an Idol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?) prowls up to the honeymoon hovel.

annnnnnd ACTION........


Your Low Rent Island Getaway New rating XXX...que the mood lighting....


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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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10-15-11, 09:23 PM (EST)
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17. "Been Thinkin'"
'A tween Rick and me, we'all'l come up with a song for you jus' a good as:

"You Stuck My Heart In An Old Tin Can And Shot It Off A Log"

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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10-16-11, 01:02 PM (EST)
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27. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep05: “They Goin’ To Hell With Gasoline Drawers On.”"
Peace and Love? You had no love for the little Cochran that could so I sent your piece to Redemption island.


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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10-15-11, 12:42 PM (EST)
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16. "Why gasoline in your crotch is a bad idea"
LAST EDITED ON 10-15-11 AT 09:29 PM (EST)

Hola! That means 'Hello' in Gringo land. Eet Ees your favorito bandito, Senor Pissario, the owner of the Rancho del Mustang here in an unidentified location deep in the voluptuous valleys and soft moist creases of Sister Mexico, where we continue to sup from the teat Mother Nature. And amigo, we can sup from teats like you can't believe. We are a bunch of real teat suppers.

And speaking of teats, the girls here at the Raunchy Girl school for higher and lower learning will be entertaining a guest speaker next week, someone who has supped off of the naivety of the public for years, and they are all excited about that.

It will be El Diablo himself, the Evil Prick Mark Burnett, who will lecture our naughty girls on how to pitch a low budget TV show in third world locations, and how to dupe unpaid actors into signing non-royalty participation contracts with no food, clothing or make-up budgets. Additionally he only needs a very small production staff, just one goofball in cheap fishing shirts and a few carpenters, and he makes millions of dollars a day while writing off jets, helicopters, vacations to exotic locations and exotic call girls (and boys, and if you listen to the rumors, the occasional native sheep with a fetching smile) as job related expenses.

We are all very interested in learning his secrets of success, and we think that with the up front and honest debauchery that our girls are so skilled at, that we might be able to pull off a similar scam. If we can ever get time in between village ransacking, drinking, orgying, and napping, that is.

Anyway, we have a well appointed cell in the basement of the school for Senor Burnett's stay, it has a slimy floor, a cot, a bucket, and a lot of feral rats for companionship. It is a surprise for him, so don't let on. Oh yes, the sharp sticks will be provided to our girls for their entertainment.

Meanwhile, I know the real reason you tune in is for the amazingly accurate sourced spoilers from our inside source, who by the way, is *not-a-Hantz, and you shouldn't listen to rumors to the contrary. They are just despicable lies, and we deny deny deny. The latest came to us tied to a pet monkey named Poopert, and are as follows:


Spoiler #1: Cowboy Rick moseys up to thuh ol' corral, takes down his Gee-tar, and starts to sang...

My Buddy Jim (sung to no tune known to man)

"The sun's setting real pretty tonight,
and I gonna sneak out of the camp, all right.
My buddy Jim got his colita to light,
And I'm a feelin' kinda groovey tonight."

"Yippie yo, ki yea, yippie yo, ki yi..."

The Monkeys provide backup singing and a cute little dance.

Spoiler #2: After the meat eating challenge it became clear to everyone that floss would have been a smart personal item to bring on this trip. Lesson learned.

Spoiler #3: Christine and Elyse are still telling each other how much they are going to lick the other at the next RI challenge (ed. note: And I'm going to keep pounding this line into the ground until some one laughs, dammit!).

Spoiler #4: At the Loser Lodge on Ponderosa, Stacy, the Mortician (someone who makes dead people look like they are alive) is appalled at how fake everyone in her tribe is.

Spoiler #5: On RI Elyse the Island Girl meets the pygmies, the island little people. She regales them with her stories of Ozzy, the God of the Dolphins, and they return the favor by telling her of Coach Wade, God of Egocentric lies. Life on RI is pretty dull, so this serves to pass the time. Oh yeah, they also trade recipes, she she tells them how the Maoris cook missionaries, they tell her about their plans for a Coach BBQ. Stuff like that.


(* Disclaimer!! I disclaim, I disclaim, I disclaim. I tell ya, I'm disclaiming everything! Especially this disclaimer! I'm even disclaiming this disclaimer of a disclaimer!)


Tribe made this sig. I couldn't get it lit.

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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10-16-11, 10:32 AM (EST)
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19. "RE: Why gasoline in your crotch is a bad idea"
Spoiler #4: At the Loser Lodge on Ponderosa, Stacy, the Mortician (someone who makes dead people look like they are alive) is appalled at how fake everyone in her tribe is.

Right on the button Senor! Then again who better to spot a fake then someone in the business.


Your Low Rent Island Getaway


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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10-16-11, 11:45 AM (EST)
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20. "Seasoned and Re-Seasoned"
Hola, look at what the Toucan dropped in my Pico-de-Gallo this morning, another spoiler from my favorito but definitely *not Hantz-like inside spoiler source, the guy (or gal?) who brings all these spoilers.

CAUTION: DO NOT READ THE SPOILER ABOUT THE REVOLTING ISLAND™ TWIST NEXT SEASON IF YOU DON"T WANT TO KNOW!!! YOU"VE BEEN WARNED!

Spoiler #6: Next season there will be a new twist, and that old inventor of all things twisty, EPMB, says it is even better than anything that the world has ever seen, better than anything that has ever come before anywhere in the universe, at least in this dimension, and even better that those terrible copycat cable reality show twists (who, incidentally, are all being sued for infringing on the RTV™ trademark registered just now by me, Senor Pissario, because it occurred to me just now that I might make a buck off of it) have ever dreamt of having.

Next season, Survivor will introduce "Revolting Island™", where the losers of the Redemption Island challenge will go, and where a challenge even more inane than the Redemption Island challenge will be held to see who gets their burnt buff's ashes buried in the Revolting Island Ash Cemetery™ (a new feature), thereby making the Redemption Island burn pit as impotent and 'so yesterday' as the TC Snuffer (Sorry snuffer old son, I was sad to hear this too. But buck up, you had your day, and maybe it's best that you can retire and become the elder Survivor Castaway bad news breaker, and can tell the younger generation how it was in your day to really give the final assf$#&ing to a lonely castaway).

(*this is a disclaimer and general disavowal of that whole Hantz thing. It's just distasteful. Awful, really).



Tribe is threatening to repossess this sig, but all he has is a post office box number somewhere in the Lost Sombrero Mountains.

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caseymagoo 59 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

10-17-11, 07:33 AM (EST)
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37. "RE: Why gasoline in your crotch is a bad idea"
Senior PistolRio , you don't know nothin. Dead people ain't fake, they ain't walking around saying they alive ,they dead and dead is dead like some of those liars gonna be after i light up those drawers grumble BENJAMIN mutter make you chuck your cheese grumble LIARS mumble uh HUH.

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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

10-17-11, 01:24 AM (EST)
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36. "for three seasons now..."

I've been wanting to say this, but Benji, get a freakin life!


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