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"“Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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10-06-11, 02:43 AM (EST)
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"“Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
LAST EDITED ON 10-06-11 AT 08:20 PM (EST)


While Jim and Cochran plot to break up the Indian Maiden and Dolphin love connection by evicting Elyse, Brandon continues his
“7-11 Big Gulpa Mea Culpa Tour”.

Edna decides to run for “Most Popular” and Stacey holds her end up to the tune of 140 lbs, but with disastrous results. Albert remains nearly invisible and Coach attempts to talk Brandon down from the ledge.

That’s the teaser. Now go forth and mock, taunt and represent. No Semhar poetry, that’s my lament.
------------------

Survivorism - Our saga opens with Ozzy and Elyse cuddling in their hammock during “story time”. “Tell me, big boy” coos Elyse, “is everyone in your family as athletic and outdoorsy as you are?” “No,” says Ozzy. “When I was a little dolphin growing up with my pod, I was really into survivorism.”

“Survivorism?” asks Elyse, with one eyebrow arched towards the sky. Ozzy says, “Not ‘survivalism’, because that would be a real word, but ‘survivorism’”. “I’ve been training to be on this show since I was six years oId. I taught myself to climb trees, swim like a fish and find Hidden Immunity Idols while remaining totally oblivious to the social aspects of the game.” Elyse blushes and flutters her eyelashes lustfully. “Wow, who knew?” Satisfied that Elyse is under his spell, Ozzy turns toward her and mutters, “Hey babe. Will you rub my ventral fin? A little lower? A little faster? Ooh, that’s good.”

As Ozzy tail walks out of the hammock in ecstasy, Jim has been hiding in the bushes and eavesdropping on the encounter. He’s also been indulging in a guilty pleasure that has brought men and women joy since the beginning of time. Not that, you perverts. Strategizing. Jim confessionalizes that they need to blunt Ozzy’s power or he may make a run just like Boston Rahb has in the past. And no one wants to see Ozzy appear on four editions of Survivor, two TARs, Ozzy and Elyse: Against the Odds, Reality Obsessed, Around the World in 80 Ways and several Boston Red Sox locker room security camera feeds. Really, Mariano is so publicity hungry that he’d appear at the Grand Opening of a tuna can.

Jim runs to Cochran and tells the Pale Stranger that he’s going to share his whole strategy. Apparently, Jim’s whole strategy is to get rid of Elyse because Elyse is a variable and Jim likes constants. Constants make sense, like poker playing and medical marijuana dispensaries. Jim’s only regret in this Swiss watch movement of a plan is that Elyse is so friggin’ hot and it would be a shame to lose the view. In response, Cochran volunteers to put on a seaweed wig and take one for the team. Very “Little Miss Sunshine” of him. Jim does a spastic Mayweather-Ortiz boxing flurry while Cochran flinches and the two agree that it’s a “Survivor move”.

Hugh Grant Apology Tour – Brandon mobilizes his camera crew and confesses that the game of Survivor is “jacked up” when it comes to peoples’ feelings. He admits that his pride has been his downfall and vows to be a better person, a better player, a better Survivor. Unfortunately, no one steps up and tells him that he only gets one entrée and one side dish. You can’t be a better Survivor and a better person. Push Divine Brown out of the car, make your apologies and move along.

Instead, Brandon apologizes to Coach, his torch and Mikayla for the twentieth time. Sensing that there’s no upcoming Jay Leno appearance, Brandon sidles over to Edna and tries to tell her that people that she’s trusted haven’t been entirely honest with her and she’s not In with the Core 5 of the In Crowd.

“A Core 5. . . not a Core 6?” asks a distressed Edna. Seeing the start of a core meltdown, Brandon tries to calm her. “Umm… there are all kinds of cores. The Marine Corps, Apple’s Core 2 Duo even with the loss of Steve Jobs, the Council Of Racial Equality, Michael Kors. So, do you accept my apology?” “Yes,” says Edna, “but I’m a little upset about the Core 5.”

Much like Dawn, we start to see the wheels turning in Edna’s head as she plots to ingratiate herself with her tribe in order to spare herself the snuffing.

Rock of Ages - Over at Skivvies, Dawn tells us that “Being Mormon, I’ve never felt comfortable swimming in just my underwear and bra. I don’t even know if mine are see-through and Matt Stone and Trey Parker can’t be reached for a ruling! But I think what concerns me most is my age.” Am I the only one who gets that tingly feeling on the back of his neck when someone says, “Being *blank*, I’ve never *blanked*…” It seems like a Foreshadowing Fiesta is on the way. Dawn also asks the crucial question, “Am I the Rudy on this tribe?”At least she didn’t compare herself to Special Agent Pink Panties.

Duel Sandbagged - The members of Skivvies fight not to go to Low Rent Arena to witness the Duel. As Jim and Cochran head off, Ozzy mocks Jim’s devotion to strategy which irks Dawn. In the Arena, Brandon and Edna represent Undies, while Cochran and Jim reluctantly ride up for Skivvies. Jiffy tries to stir up some drama between Papa Bear and the tribe that sent him to Calorie Reduction Island. Papa Bear declares that Cochran and Jim both know that as soon as he gets back into the game that he’s immediately going to the other tribe and giving them “anything that they need”. Based on what we’ve seen so far, that would include a four hour demo of how to correctly sleep in a hammock. Brandon takes this opportunity to apologize to Christine, completing the Apology Master Collection and winning the toaster oven.

The Duel involves tossing sandbags and having them land on top of various crates. The first person to get one bag on each of the ten crates stays on beautiful Redemption Island, home of the “Beyond Redemption Tropical Fruit Punch” adult beverage. Christine starts out with an early lead as inexplicably, both contestants think that in this race they have to wait their turn before lofting their sandbags. The competition is close until Christine finally nails number ten and sends Papa Bear to the Ponderosa. This is surprising as you would have thought that Papa Bear would have had lots of practice dropping his sand bags on top of young, willing crates, but it just wasn’t his day.

Asian Stereotype Triad - Over at Undies, Edna has determined that she can’t beat any of her tribemates at physical challenges, so her only hope is her social game, which consists of being cordial and polite to everyone. Until they want to beat her head into a fine powder. Politely. Thanks to some fine editing it seems that Edna is running around camp frantically offering to wash Rick’s clothes and massage and walk on Coach’s back. Stacey rolls her eyes hard enough to see inside her own brain and calls Edna “Ricochet Rabbit”, commenting that “that girl go on and on and on. I don’t think she have an ‘off’ switch.” Edna also takes a page from Dawn’s book and tries to become instant friends with everybody, but the pressure is too much and she makes some mistakes in the process. It’s especially noticeable when Edna asks Rick about his modeling gigs and questions Mikayla about the type of ammunition she uses when hunting buffalo. Confusion turns to extreme discomfort when the word “headshot” comes up with both people.

It’s a shame that Edna didn’t land on the Skivvies tribe, because “Woody Alien” Cochran would have been drawn to her sweet and sour personality. Without his therapist, Cochran’s insecurities are rising to the surface as he practically drools over the possibility of ousting Elyse, “devastating” Ozzy and making the “pretty people” feel less secure.

”Can I Get A Chiropractor?” The Challenge is another “accountant’s special” as three members of each tribe stand with a pole across their backs. In each round, the opposite tribe decides who to saddle with ten pound sandbags on each side. The last person standing is the winner and brings home the Immunity Idol, one rooster, two hens, three turtledoves, and a clue to the Hidden Immunity Idol. Total cost for the Challenge: $121.50. Keith, Dawn and Jim are up for the Skivvies, while Brandon, Stacey and Albert balance the bags for the Undies.

After twenty six minutes, Dawn and Stacey move up to 100 pounds, while Albert and Keith are each saddled with 180 pounds each. Albert and Keith soon drop out, while Jim and Brandon step up to 240 pounds each. J PRO excitedly tells us that this is a new Survivor record, topping the maximum weight once hoisted by Rupert, JT and Brendan. Jim and Brandon soon drop their poles, leaving Dawn and Stacey as the last remaining competitors. Under the weight of 140 pounds, the pole slides from Stacey’s shoulders to her back and finally down over her rump roast. After some quivering and quaking, Stacey can’t hold on any more and Dawn wins the contest for the Skivvies. On the walk back from the Challenge, Stacey has convinced herself that she’s strong, she’s proven herself, and that she won the Challenge, proving that her ego can bench press more than 140 pounds of truth with pure delusion.
The only problem is that she didn’t win, her tribe doesn’t have the chicken nuggets and they’re going to Tribal Council.

Back at camp, Coach is busy being Coach. He checks in with all of the tribe members and is trying to keep their confidence up. After her talk with Coach, Stacey confessionalizes that “I’m not buying Coach’s B.S. at all. I gotta lie to kick it. What that means is I gotta lie to try to ‘git in to fit in’”. Ah, I miss the good old days when we had a special NaOnka translator on staff to interpret these comments. With these budget cuts we have to wing it and hope for the best.

Brandonoia – Brandon approaches Coach and says, “Buddy, we’ve got a problem on our hands” to which Coach wearily replies, “Another one?”. As Brandon starts to recount the story that Stacey told him, Coach tells him to stop it. “If you believe somebody who’s on Death Row like Stacey knows she is, over somebody who’s in our core alliance, then you might as well throw in the towel right now,” says Coach. Mark your calendars; the Dragon Slayer speaks the truth.

Tribal Council: Frenemies Edition - When J PRO asks what happened during the Stacey and Dawn Immunity Challenge showdown, Stacey launches into a dramatic retelling of her Atlas-like struggle with the pole and the sandbags. It’s got drama. It’s got pathos. It’s got a heroine. And the heroine may be on heroin, because the story stops just short of Stacey dropping the bar and losing the Challenge.

J PRO’s “most annoying thing about this person” game brings the Brandon Hantz / Russell Hantz connection to light. Brandon gets another opportunity to defend his game play, apologize and cry.

Votes are cast and it’s Stacey who’s sent to Redemption Island. Coach whispers a suggestion that the tribe members stand and offer her hugs on the way to have her torch snuffed, but Stacey’s having none of dat. Jiffy points out the gesture, but Stacey closes out with “It’s not real. It’s not true. Everything’s been a lie.”

“I will be back.”




Mark "Entertainment on a Budget" Burnett
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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... cahaya 10-06-11 1
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... mrc 10-06-11 2
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... dabo 10-06-11 4
       RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... RollDdice 10-11-11 40
           RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... dabo 10-11-11 43
               RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... RollDdice 10-11-11 45
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... Belle Book 10-06-11 8
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... krismiss2us 10-07-11 15
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... jbug 10-06-11 3
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... krismiss2us 10-07-11 16
       RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... jbug 10-07-11 18
           RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... krismiss2us 10-07-11 21
 Raunchy Girls on Parade kingfish 10-06-11 5
   RE: Raunchy Girls on Parade suzzee 10-06-11 7
       RE: Raunchy Girls on Parade kingfish 10-07-11 23
 Sandbagging in the Arena suzzee 10-06-11 6
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... Scarlett O Hara 10-06-11 9
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... Belle Book 10-06-11 10
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... suzzee 10-06-11 11
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... michel 10-06-11 12
       RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... Belle Book 10-07-11 24
           RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... michel 10-07-11 25
               RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... jbug 10-07-11 28
               RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... Belle Book 10-08-11 30
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... michel 10-06-11 13
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... suzzee 10-07-11 14
       RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... krismiss2us 10-07-11 17
           RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... suzzee 10-07-11 20
               RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... krismiss2us 10-07-11 22
                   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... michel 10-07-11 26
                   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... suzzee 10-08-11 29
                       RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... krismiss2us 10-09-11 32
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... RollDdice 10-11-11 41
 Faves and Raves suzzee 10-07-11 19
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... kingfish 10-07-11 27
 How to be a gentleman kingfish 10-09-11 31
   RE: How to be a gentleman suzzee 10-09-11 33
       *Waves* foonermints 10-10-11 36
           RE: *Waves* suzzee 10-11-11 38
 RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... Naked 10-09-11 34
   RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “S... RollDdice 10-10-11 35
 RE: be back soon to get them liars caseymagoo 10-10-11 37
   RE: be back soon to get them liars suzzee 10-11-11 39
 Я гово... Brownroach 10-11-11 42
   RE: Я гов&#... jbug 10-11-11 44
       RE: Я гов&#... suzzee 10-12-11 46

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cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings
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10-06-11, 03:42 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
All that snorin' I hear ever' night sounds like a chainsaw crew up t' fire trail.

And that ain't the only noises I be hearin' at night, I tell ya, with Edna always aimin' to please the Coach.

Shameless DAW plug for weekly recap here.

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mrc 10020 desperate attention whore postings
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10-06-11, 09:22 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
Coach Wade is at a loss for words. Grasshopper Brandon won't listen to reason. I may have to tell him the story about the time I wouldn't listen to reason and almost wound up dinner for a tribe of Amazonian women.

Tribefied

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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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10-06-11, 09:57 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
Your little sailor boy doesn't know the rules, expecially #6. It's too bad we couldn't team up, we coulda run the boards and had a real Village People alliance.

http://www.ncisfanatic.com/2010/06/gibbs-rules-ncis-the-complete-list-of-gibbs-rules.html

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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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10-11-11, 11:50 AM (EST)
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40. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
It's too bad we couldn't team up, we coulda run the boards and had a real Village People alliance.

Too bad that didn't work out. Now you're sitting in the Survivor version of the Y.M.C.A.



Mark "We need to get some more groceries" Burnett
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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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10-11-11, 12:49 PM (EST)
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43. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
For the time being it is the YWCA... and endless poetry, oh the poetry! Wish I still had a badge.


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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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10-11-11, 08:27 PM (EST)
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45. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
For the time being it is the YWCA... and endless poetry, oh the poetry! Wish I still had a badge gun.

There. Fixed that for you.



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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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10-06-11, 04:35 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
Tell me about that time! It might be fun for me to listen to!


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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
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10-07-11, 10:08 AM (EST)
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15. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"

Seriously coach, WTF were you thinking? Trying to hug the person you just voted out? You are an idiot!


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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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10-06-11, 09:40 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
Week after week I sit alone in the jungle writing my country songs. Just wait till we get back to civilization! Nashville will welcome me with open arms!


Tennessee girls have fire and ice in our blood! We can ride 4wheelers and horses, be a princess, love with a passion, throw left hooks, fish and hunt with the guys, and if we have an opinion you're gonna hear it! Proud to be one....

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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
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10-07-11, 10:08 AM (EST)
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16. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"

Ummmm...who are you again? You're starting to make Purple Kelly look like an all star!


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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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10-07-11, 10:22 AM (EST)
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18. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
You know you love me.
Want me to tell everyone about you & me hanging out in the jungle while I sing to you?


Tennessee girls have fire and ice in our blood! We can ride 4wheelers and horses, be a princess, love with a passion, throw left hooks, fish and hunt with the guys, and if we have an opinion you're gonna hear it! Proud to be one....

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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
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10-07-11, 02:03 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
As long as you don't sound like taylor swift when you sing, that's fine by me.


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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10-06-11, 11:40 AM (EST)
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5. "Raunchy Girls on Parade"
Hola again. It es Senor Pissario again, bringing you the newest noticias again. Thank you berry berry much again.

News from Lake El WoeBeGone, in the Mexican Sierras just a frozen Mystic Pizza throw across the Tales of the Rio Grande, where Raunchy Girls roam unescorted on their stretch Vespas Hogs thru the Streets of Laredo.

(Bear with me amigos e amigas, as part of our new deal with Warner Bros. to produce our upcoming movie, we are contractually obligated to include a certain number of cinematic references, and well, even in a place where the ideals of depravity are held sacred like here at The School Of Really Really Raunchy Girls, we must pay the bills. Life is like a box of chocolates, and who knows For Whom The Bell Tolls, after all).

Anyway, they haven't tolled for our involuntary servant and sourced spoiler who is rumored to be but definitely is not any species or generation or genus of *Hantz, because he keeps coming up with these winners which I keep passing on to you. As follows:

Spoiler #1: Cowboy Rick "UTR" Nelson, entertained the tribe around the campfire with his tribute to Brandon, "Gnome, Gnome on the Range".

Spoiler #2: Brandon continued to apologise to everyone for being a Hantz, the one thing that even God will not grant absolution for. He also brought out the crocodile "Hantz" tears. Stacy's eyes nearly rolled out of her head.

Spoiler #3: The pygmies are getting restless. First there was Semhar, she was too lean and she wouldn't shut up. She did promise to have all their babies, though. Then Christine whose idea of good strategy is to piss off everyone with "honesty". Then Papa Bare who was way too hairy. They've been promised a Coach BBQ, and are getting quite restive.

Spoiler #4: Stacy tried to swat the little no-see-um Edna to no avail. Even though she could hear the buzzing giggle, she was just too slow. However she did present a powerful demonstration of black woman's butt power.

Spoiler #5: Dawn, in her newly provided 20's flapper bathing suit, noticed that she wasn't being presented as well as Whitney or Elyse in their also newly provided bikinis, but she is now more comfortable than she was in her underwear. And a poll of the audience shows that this opinion is widely shared.

Spoiler #6: Ozzie still refuses to strategize. It's just not what aquatic life forms do. And the Kingfish agrees, we are above the need to strategize with puny people life forms.


(*Mustard Claimer)


Tribal art, provided gratis, TYVM.

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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10-06-11, 12:14 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Raunchy Girls on Parade"
Sr. Pissario,

I have not heard from you or the selection committee as to the status of my application for the Raunchy Girl No Class of 2011. I noticed, however, that the check was cashed at Russito Pisarrio's Pawn and Pool Hall. Is that a relative of yours? An Uncle maybe? No?

I hope the enclosed photos of myself will encourage you to fast track my application process. Hoping to hear from you Senor.

Huggs,

Hey Miki you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind.


You can take the girl out of Jersey but you apparently sure can take the Jersey out of the girl! Stephanie is ashamed of you toots.

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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10-07-11, 04:16 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: Raunchy Girls on Parade"
The Approval committee approves of Mikayla's admission, she has a number of very raunchy attributes, and we are looking down her cleavage with delight.

The photos were impressive, and made it impossible for the committee to stand up until we has a barrel of ice water dumped in our laps.

But it was her burro "riding" demonstration that sold the show, we still haven't been able to wipe the grin off that burro's muzzle. Welcome aboard.


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10-06-11, 11:56 AM (EST)
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6. "Sandbagging in the Arena"
LAST EDITED ON 10-06-11 AT 12:00 PM (EST)

Hey everyone, RI here.

Last time on RI. Semhardy-har-har rhymed her way into Losers Lodge and just missed a giving herself a concussion. You are the weakest link, goodbye.

This week we have Papa Barely and Chrismean going head to head in the Survivor version of Elevated Pedestal Cornhole. Our sell out crowd in the stands were just as entertaining this week. Cochran came dressed for Halloween as Count Cochranula with his collar turned up like a cape. His reluctant plus one was the friendly neighborhood head shop owner Jim Splif. Over in the other skybox was Edna Chatterly showing some strength moves by having Brandon "Hantz to Myself" sitting either on her lap or perhaps they only paid for one seat this week I couldn't tell.

Of course Brandon "Hantz me the Check" had to be the Lil' Scene Stealer and start jury schmoozing already. NOT in my arena goat boy. It looks like Jiffy is tired of being upstaged Lil' man.

Chrismean gives him a Spock eyebrow salute to his load of Hantzh!t and on to the Cornhole game. After taking turns throwing (gee that was so sweet that in a RACE they wait to take turns, oy) Chrismean finally realizes it's a RACE and starts heaving bags like a park league softball pitcher. Papa Barely tried to keep up (or was that photo shop?) and finished a close second.

Chrismean puts another notch in her Little Matt playbook and gets back to the Island winners circle for her after challenge coconut hibiscus plastic straw cocktail. What exactly does limited supplies mean at RI you ask? I'm not telling but I think she found Ozzy's mini-fridge.

Wasting away in Redemption Islandville.
Looking for my lost Immunity Idol.
Some people say Elyse is to blame.
I don't know, it's Burnette's fault.


Your Low Rent Island Getaway

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Scarlett O Hara 3259 desperate attention whore postings
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10-06-11, 05:11 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
Jungle Boys Guide to "Survivalism."

1. Climb a tree and find the HII..... check

2. Put it in your pocket........ check

3. Do NOT strategize........ check

4. Share your bed with a lovely tribemate.......check

5. Skinny dip with the other lovely tribemate......check

Life is good in the jungle, no?


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10-06-11, 08:01 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
Hmm, maybe I'm going to regret being in Ozzy's back pocket. Not so much his sharing a bed with Elyse or skinny-dipping with Whitney (I think), but his not strategizing? You need to be careful, Jungle Boy! Remember what happened the last time you had me in your pocket!


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10-06-11, 08:01 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
Come on over here Monkey Boy, I've been waiting for ya. We have a bed and breakfast all set up. If your timing is right you may even have a lovely tribemate here to warm up your bamboo. Bamboo bed, bamboo bed, gotta keep a PG rating here. Your redemption awaits Mr. Oz.


Your Low Rent Island Getaway

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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10-06-11, 10:19 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
Dear Dawn thinks you used to strategize in your previous seasons! Now that's a good one! Chet almost outwitted you so imagine when someone can put together a real Survivor move.


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10-07-11, 04:31 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
Well, Ozzy did do quite a bit of strategizing in Fans vs. Favorites but he was no match for Cirie or Parvati. Still, I saw Yul (my favorite holder) put together a real move in Cook Islands when he learned that Ozzy was getting close to Nate and convinced Jonathan to say that voting Nate out would be the price for Jonathan's coming on board. Now that was a master strategist!


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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10-07-11, 05:00 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
Ha! Yul would have agreed to anything that Jonathan wanted. Jonathan was the one that wanted Nate gone because he made a bad joke about his wife. See, I watched every season so I know these things.


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10-07-11, 08:27 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
We need a new name for you - Michel - not Cochran.
You are Michelpedia of Survivor.
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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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10-08-11, 10:49 AM (EST)
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30. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
Let's just say that both Jonathan and Yul wanted Nate gone, if for different reasons -- Jonathan because Nate insulted Jonathan's wife, Yul because Nate's budding friendship with Ozzy was a threat to Yul.

And if you want to know how I know that Yul felt that way, I had someone read his interview on Reality News Online to me! But both guys clearly wanted Nate gone and they succeeded.


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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10-06-11, 10:30 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
Hey! EPMB, did you get permission to use my seaweed wig line? You're lucky you have me on the show because the rest of your cast is crap.
Brandon will be remembered for going "I'm sorry, I'm sorry...Russell sucked big time but I only suck part time."
Albert for snoring.
Stacey for using her bum instead of her shoulders.
Keith impersonating Brett.
Jim trying to be Brian.
Edna opening up a dry cleaners/massage parlor on the island
Ozzy still trying to make little Ozlets.

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10-07-11, 09:59 AM (EST)
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14. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
That's South Pacific Crap to you mister.

Albert is......wait...what?...who is Albert?
Stacy got junk in da trunk
Keith is......wait...what?....oh Ozzy's Brutus.
Jim is......wait...what?....nevermind.
Edna is a walking talking mad as a hatter chatterbox.
Ozzy~Ozlets, that is his strategy, again.

Coach after having watched himself for two seasons is bored too.


Your Low Rent Island Getaway

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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
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10-07-11, 10:10 AM (EST)
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17. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"

We need to do away with you RI. YOU are the reason everyone's so freakin bored....my gosh i can just fall asleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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10-07-11, 10:30 AM (EST)
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20. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
Noooooo, I'm Drama, I'm Pathos, I'm Heroin. You NEED me just like New York needs New Jersey as a garbage can.


Your Low Rent Island Getaway and I've got a looooong contract.

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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
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10-07-11, 02:08 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
You are soooooo wrong, RI. RI makes as much sense as putting an elevator in an outhouse.


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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10-07-11, 05:01 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
You should have realized that before the season started.


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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10-08-11, 09:20 AM (EST)
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29. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
mmmmm elevators, now that's an idea! How about this?

His and hers or should chronic viewers just have a seat in the lower one and give the top one to JPro & MBur (Amber LOL), might save time.

Until then......slivers to everyone. Yay!


Your Low Rent Island Getaway


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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
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10-09-11, 11:57 AM (EST)
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32. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"

LMAO. With comments like that, maybe we should keep you around.


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10-11-11, 12:23 PM (EST)
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41. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
Hey! EPMB, did you get permission to use my seaweed wig line?

You have to wear it to claim it... and I didn't see you sporting any sexy seaweed. Maybe to maintain your alliance with Jim?





Mark "Parsley of the Sea" Burnett
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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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10-07-11, 10:25 AM (EST)
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19. "Faves and Raves"
LAST EDITED ON 10-07-11 AT 10:27 AM (EST)

1. my ventral fin? eeeewwwww TMI

2. Mariano is so publicity hungry that he’d appear at the Grand Opening of a tuna can. I was there! I got his autograph, well I think I did. I thought it said Merlonio though.

3. “Being *blank*, I’ve never *blanked*…” I full on cringe.

4.Cochran’s insecurities are rising to the surface as he practically drools over the possibility of ousting Elyse, “devastating” Ozzy and making the “pretty people” feel less secure. I've seen this act, it was Revenge of the Nerds, yes?

5.It’s got drama. It’s got pathos. It’s got a heroine. Wait....what? I thought it was Jim that had the heroin.

6. Coach wearily replies, “Another one?That's the same tone I get when someone tells me the dog chewed up something. Brandon's going to get crated if he's not careful.

Well done Roll your snark runnith over.


Your Low Rent Island Getaway and casual observer

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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10-07-11, 05:29 PM (EST)
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27. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
I think Devine Brown may actually be Coach. I think he says that in his book, somewhere.

And you'd think that the least they could do would be to close caption Stacy's language in Cyrillic, like they do Coach and Sophie.

Very nice recap, Dice. Got a buzz and a jingle and a giggle, all at once.

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10-09-11, 11:51 AM (EST)
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31. "How to be a gentleman"
LAST EDITED ON 10-10-11 AT 06:08 PM (EST)

Hola Hola Hola, Es your Main Man (as you gringos say) Senor Pissario. El Hombre with the mostest. Except for money, we are running a little low on that on account of we drink and play too much and when we drink we forget little things like paying bills, things like that.

Which is why we had to hook up our Vespa hogs to the bars on the windows of the local hoosegow and break some of my students out. They were simply doing what they do best which was being very very raunchy and apparently they offended some people who think that being sinful and naked and copulating in public is a bad thing. And also they didn't pay their bar tabs, but they never do that, so we think it was discrimination against us. They hate Raunchy Girls and our dear old School for Really Very Raunchy Higher Learning. Rather than argue that in court, we took a direct approach.

You will be relieved to know that all went well, and so far the Federales haven’t found our new location.

You will also be pleased to hear the newest spoilers from that pit of iniquity in the South Pacific, the latest of which are brought to us by dolphin express mail and our inside spoiler source, and which do not bear the fecal contamination of any known *Hantz.

Spoiler #1: Jim meets The Inimitable, Implacable, Implausible, and almost Invisible Cochran (which is how he demands to be referred to today) , and cries “dead arm” and hits him on the arm. The I.I.I. and almost I. Cochran asks “Why did you you do that?” and Jim replies, “Because you were being you. We’ll fix that!” Then he slugs him again and says “Hey, you were still being you!. Quit that!”

Spoiler #2: Ozzy is strategizing full bore about how to get in Elyse’s bikini bottom. “Game? What game?” he exclaims when asked, “You play your game and I’ll play mine.”

Spoiler #3: Sophie talks to Coach in their made up language again and he replies. Their strategizing goes on deep into the night, but neither has any idea what the other is saying. It is, after-all a made up language and neither will admit that. It is a kick for both though when they look down at the bottom of the screen and watch the Cyrillic lettering. Every time either says something, more funny symbols appear. That keeps them entertained.

Spoiler #4: Cowboy Rick’s latest campfire song is “A Buffalo Farts on the Prairie, or Would Brandon please go downwind”.

Spoiler #5: Edna asks Rick,”What is a buffalo?”, “Why does he fart”, “Why does Brandon smell like a buffalo fart?”, “ Is the Buffalo a girl buffalo or a boy buffalo?”,” Is it night on the Prairie, or day?”, ” Do you want a Buffalo massage?”, “Do you want a happy ending”, “Why is the sky Blue?”, “ Why is water wet?”.

Spoiler #6: Mikayla's Oobies are still pointing right at Brandon. And Brandon knows Mikayla is doing this on purpose. He knows that she is the devil and has been making him do bad things all his life. Really bad things. If you thought"Son of Sam" was evil, think "Son of Hantz!". He makes up his his mind to apologize to everyone again for Mikayla’s titties pointing right at him. Then he will swim to the RI and the Ponderosa to apologize to Christine and Stacy and Semhar and Papa Bear for being a sleaze/douche/scum bag all his low-life. Christine and Stacy try and out eyeroll each other, and Semhar and Papa bear offer to have his babies.

(*Mudslinging is our forte, disclaimers we are less adept at)


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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10-09-11, 03:04 PM (EST)
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33. "RE: How to be a gentleman"
Eeeeek, he keeps waving his "Hantz" at me.


Boo Hoo and "Hantz" OFF!


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10-10-11, 05:49 PM (EST)
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36. "*Waves*"
Now you've got the real thing waving at ya!


Waving goodbye to your evil self soon, I hope. *shudder* She-Devil!

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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10-11-11, 10:29 AM (EST)
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38. "RE: *Waves*"

Silly stalker! EEEEEEEK


agman makes me hot


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Naked 886 desperate attention whore postings
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10-09-11, 09:11 PM (EST)
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34. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
Great job. I actually laughed out loud in s couple of places. Not only that, but I think I may have let out a snort.

VOTE NAKED 2004

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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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10-10-11, 04:55 PM (EST)
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35. "RE: “Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep04: “She’s Hot, But I Could Put On A Seaweed Wig.”"
Thank you, I do what I can. But you should know that my ultimate goal is to affect your bladder control.

Maybe here?



I've done this before. I promise.
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caseymagoo 59 desperate attention whore postings
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10-10-11, 07:30 PM (EST)
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37. "RE: be back soon to get them liars"
can't believe my spokes-typist picked last thursday to have wrist surgery. i got lots to say but she types too slow left-handed. i hear the next RI challenge is eye-rolling so i got this one. riccochet rabbit watch out -boom. and that foolcoach lucky i didn't knock him and his hug into next week



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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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10-11-11, 10:34 AM (EST)
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39. "RE: be back soon to get them liars"
How come you're the only one who remembers how much BS is Benjamin-Benjamin-BENJAMIN?


Boo Hoo

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10-11-11, 12:46 PM (EST)
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42. "Я говорил что - нибудь на этой неделе? "
LAST EDITED ON 10-11-11 AT 12:47 PM (EST)

Я решил прекратить наблюдать, так как они никогда не показывают мне.

Did I say anything this week? I decided to stop watching, since they never show me.


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10-11-11, 02:33 PM (EST)
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44. "RE: Я говорил что - нибудь на этой неделе? "
I'm using my lack of camera time to write songs.


Tennessee girls have fire and ice in our blood! We can ride 4wheelers and horses, be a princess, love with a passion, throw left hooks, fish and hunt with the guys, and if we have an opinion you're gonna hear it! Proud to be one....

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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10-12-11, 08:06 AM (EST)
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46. "RE: Я говорил что - нибудь на этой неделе? "
It beats being an on camera boy toy.


Boo Hoo

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