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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"“Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep03: “Reap and Sow. I’ll Take ‘Biblical Boomerangs’ for $100, Alex.”"
RollDdice 5536 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-28-11, 09:25 PM (EST)
 
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"“Be The Survivor”: S23 Ep03: “Reap and Sow. I’ll Take ‘Biblical Boomerangs’ for $100, Alex.”" |
The one thing that Brandon doesn't have tattooed on his body is the phone number for a good Public Relations firm and it looks like he's going to need it after he tried to railroad his personal Jezebel onto Redemption Island. We see yet another example of the old "fake Hidden Immunity Idol" trick and the first person makes the burning buff transition from Redemption Island to the Ponderosa. Sound pretty vague? Well, I've spent the afternoon in the dentist's chair and may not even be awake when Survivor airs here on the West Coast. It's not like Dr. (for now) Conrad Murray is managing my meds, but I would like to be relatively coherent when I watch the episode and write a summary. So please be patient, enjoy and begin snarking... now.
Mark "Novacaine up to my eyebrows" Burnett
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suzzee 3402 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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09-29-11, 08:39 AM (EST)
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5. "Why why why?" |
Why don't you loooooove me?? Why? I didn't do nothin'. Brandon, you little weasel you! I got ears (the better to hear your angst with) I got oobies (the better to scare you with) and I apparently forgot what it means to be from Joisey. I should kick you so hard your tatoos would wind up on your a$$ but no here I sit crying over a little slime ball like you not liking me. I'm not worthy of being from Jersey.
You can take the girl out of Jersey but you can't take the Jersey out of the girl!
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caseymagoo 21 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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09-29-11, 09:18 AM (EST)
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6. "Subtle Stacey is my name" |
Did you notice how stone-faced i was during the redemption challenge? No one knew I who I was rooting for including that fool sitting next to me. And then when that little troll dropped the bomb about who he was, I betrayed nothing, cept for a little roll of my hands and muttering blam or bam or bomb - just water up under the bridge, that's all.
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kingfish 13022 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-29-11, 12:13 PM (EST)
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9. "Be the Raunchy Girl" |
Aye Carumba, eet es yo, Senor Pissario again. Coming to you from South of the border of my raunchiest Rauncharita. I am also in Mexico.We just got in from our latest field trip. It was part of an assignment in Staunch Raunchiness 201, "Development of Raunchy Girl Anti-Social Studies", a basic course required of all of my Fabulousa Ranchitaritas, and one that no one fails because the enthusiasm (and orgasms) is so high and attendance is always 100%. And we are now relaxing au naturale in the shallow rapids of an ice cold mountain stream, sucking down amazing quantities of Carta Blanca Cerveza. Following will be desert, tequila au naturale, as usual. But you didn't tune in to hear about the group sex exploits of bunch of uninhibited young ladies and their boy toy lackeys, did you? With film and photos? And free souvenirs? No, you want to get right to the latest Spoilers from the South Pacific Survivor, of course. Straight from my always solid and accurate insider source, *not Russell or a Hantz of any species. Spoiler #1: God, still weary and a bit pissed off about the trials and tribulations of Matt last season, once again visits the castaways, gets Brandon aside, and advises him to stop fretting, Evil Has Won! Game over. Spoiler #2: Elyse got a good backside. And front-side. Not a really a spoiler, just an observation. Nevermind. Spoiler #3: Elyse and Whitney received invitations to join something called the Rauncharitas(?) after the show. (Ed. note: My inside spoiler apparently has not heard of mis Fabulousa Ranchitaritas. Probably for the best too. And for the record, those are sincere invitations from me, Senor Pissario). Spoiler #4: Semhar has announced that she will boink and BJ with anyone and have everyone's baby if she can return to the island. (Ed. note: If Semhar can learn to shut the F up, she will surely get a Raunchy Girl invite too. That girl does have some good ideas). Spoiler #5: Juan la Cucaracha (today's self-naming) says that he feels like an extended failure. Despair. Depression. He a little guy against the world. Why can't he be liked? Maybe he will write a series of movies about a funny little guy, a New Yorker, who has trouble with women and is always depressed. (* Disclaimer. Not my fault) 
Tribes art. Again, not my fault.
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caseymagoo 21 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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09-29-11, 12:57 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Be the Raunchy Girl" |
Hey Senyar P, Where's my invite? You don't like girls who wear hot white leggings? I can be a ranchy girl, I even kind of understand that cowboy.
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kingfish 13022 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-30-11, 12:57 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: Be the Raunchy Girl" |
If you're comfortable with armpit hair, leg hair, etc (IYKWIM), and are comfortable in your own (and other's) sweat, grime, and other crusted bodily fluids, you may get an invite.If you like poking sharp sticks at the EPMB whenever we can get him in a cage, you may get an invite. If you can drink your weight in Tequila and still ride your Vespa hog back to your dormitory room after a hard day's work terrorizing a local village sheriff's department, you might get an invite. If you were voted most likely to be a Raunchy Girl by your high school class, and can prove you boinked the football team and the pep squad, you might get an invite. If you pass your entrance exam in innovative group sex, you stand a good chance of getting an invite. And if, when you are about to go against your Redemption Island challenger, you say out loud to a national television audience that you are willing to boink the entire Survivor Island production crew as aften as they like and have all their babies, you not only will get personal invite from me, you will get a full scholarship to The Raunchy School For Really Really Raunchy Girls, where ever we might be holding classes. But yes, the leggings will have to go.
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kingfish 13022 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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10-01-11, 06:55 PM (EST)
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17. "Now Accepting Applications" |
Hola all over again, it is me again, Senor Pissario, your very accurate source for the latest Survivor Island spoilers smuggled off the island by my insider source, who is definitely, and I cannot emphasize this enough (apparently) for the lawdogs norte of the border, not *any sort ilk or kin of Russell Hantz. There. That ought to satisfy them. Now, new business, it seems that there are a number of you out there clamoring to be included in the raunchiest girl gang school anywhere, the Senor Pissario School of Really Really (and they are really really) Raunchy Girls, now temporarily known as Raunchitas. Easily understandable, and I don't blame you. We have a lot more applications than we can accept. So here's the deal. First, guys, don't embarrass me, this is for Raunchy girls. Transvestites, OK. Cross dressers, also OK. Transgenders, trans whatevers, all OK, especially encouraged are reverse cross gender trans-girls. But no guy-guys. Unless you want to be sex slaves and enjoy wearing maid's outfits or cabana boy clothes, and even then there are only a limited number of openings. Pun intended. Next, read up on a bit of advice prepared for prospective Raunchitas, go out onto the web, find and read this: http://tinyurl.com/Rauncharama (or just go a few posts up in this thread, which ever is easier) Now, a few more things to expect: Informal uniforms: Nakies. Formal uniforms: Tees sufficient to cover nipples, with underarm sweat stained hairy armpits, and various and sundry stains under chin. Bullet holes with appropriate amounts of blood designate Raunchy Rank, and knife wounds designate the various theaters of action each has girl has participated in. Oh yes, and the requisite grease stains, we chop our Vespa hogs ourselves and pride ourselves on being greasy. We likes Greasy! Shorts: Mini-mini-mini shorts. With the above staining, blood, and grease stains. A pocket or two sufficient for carrying mace, brass knuckles, and a honking beaver cleaver (that's raunchy lingo for switchblade). A belt is an acceptable accessory from which you can hang your beer cozy and Raunchy Girl Tequila Shooters. And your pistol when you need it, but ranchitas really prefer bare knuckle ear biting eye poking and fisting. There is also a personal inspection required, and a code of non-conduct which will be explained to you in private by me in my very private locked room. It will be taped, but you are welcome, encouraged even to submit a tape of yourself at your Raunchy best. Naughty tattos in naughty places encouraged. Good luck. Well, there it is in a nut shell. Time for the latest news from across the globe. All brought to you by my aforementioned insider source, *not Russell and smuggled to me via homing burro. Spoiler #1: Warning for the HII, and PSA for everyone else: A bald headed elf will be spotted searching for Hidden idols. It is Russell, and it seems that even when he's not in the show, he still has to search for Hidden Idols. It is expected that he will also once again claim that because he is Russell Hantz, he don't need no stinking tribe mates, and that he actually won this season in addition to the other two he won. Spoiler #2: It turns out that Brandon Hantz is slightly near sighted, and every time he sees two coconuts hanging from a palm tree, he gets a scourge and begins another session of self flagellation. Spoiler #3: Ozzy begins disappearing for hours at a time. Turns out Dolphin Boy is beginning his transformation for a return to the sea. His curly hair is actually turning into gill folds. Spoiler #4: Rancher Rick is asking everyone, where are my dogies, dang it? Where are those dogies? I got to round up my dogies for the rodeo, dang gum it! Spoiler #5: Old news, but Sophie and Coach continue to pretend to communicate in their made up language, and the editors will continue to add closed captioning in Cyrillic for the English audience. Turns out that Crazy Ivan is on staff again this year. (*MissClaimer)
Tribe's art.
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cahaya 16459 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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10-01-11, 10:48 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: Now Accepting Applications" |
Git Along Little TribiesAs I walked out one morning for pleasure,
I met a bikini girl a jogging along;
Her hair was throwed back and her oobies was a jingling,
And as she advanced she was singing this song. Chorus:
Yippee Ti Yi Yo, get along little tribies
It's your misfortune and none of my own
Yippee Ti Yi Yo get along little tribies
For you know that you will soon be goin' home. Early in the morning time we round up the tribeys
Mark them and Brandon them and work off their tails
Round up the firewood and load the fishing rig
Throw them little tribies right out on the trail. (Chorus) In the evening we round in the tribies
As they are looking in Council all around
You have no idea the trouble they give us
As we are holding them on the bed ground. (Chorus) In the morning we throw off the bed ground
Aiming to gaze at them an hour or two
When they are full, you think you can drive them
On the trail, but damned if you do. (Chorus) Some fellows go on the trail for pleasure,
But they have got this thing down wrong;
If it hadn't been for these troublesome tribies,
I never would thought of writing this song. Yippee Ti Yi Yo, get along little tribies
It's your misfortune and none of my own
Yippee Ti Yi Yo get along little tribies
For you know that you will soon be goin' home. 
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kingfish 13022 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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10-02-11, 10:12 AM (EST)
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21. "Get along Little Tribeys" |
Spoiler #6: Full time rancher and part time cowboy crooner, Rick Nelson, starts the day for his sleepy tribemates by belting out a rousing rendition of "Get Along Little Tribey's". He's fashioned his 'Geetar' out of coconut husks and monkey hair, and every morning everyone gets up, gathers around the campfire, makes s'mores, holds hands, and gazes dreamy eyed at their troubadour. Our own TribePhyl denies that there's a tear running down his cheek, "Allergies" he says, "(sniff) It's just allergies. And can I help it if I just happen to love them little dogies? They're cute. Y'all leave me alone!" 
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suzzee 3402 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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10-05-11, 11:27 AM (EST)
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25. "Miki's Application" |
Sr. Pissario and the Application Committee:I am Miki (of the Hey Miki you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind. Hey Miki (boom-boom), Hey Miki (boom-boom), tee-hee) I've got a reference letter from Brandon (I'm not Russell) Harry Hantz stating that I have completed on line courses (and passed too!) in "Wearing kitten heels", "Bouncing Oobies" (both semesters), and "Temptation Without Breaking a Sweat". Hopefully these classes and your application fee of $347.29 will allow me to start classes soon. Fetchingly Yours, Hey Miki you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind
You can take the girl out of Jersey but you can't take the Jersey out of the girl!
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p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
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