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"The Rice Card"
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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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04-23-11, 12:58 PM (EST)
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"The Rice Card"
I’m not sure I got that whole deal about the Rice War so maybe someone could help.

From what I heard it started when Andrea said: “Jerry Rice used to be my favorite Football player but now he’s old and moldy.”
To that Phillip said: “You like Jerry Rice? I brought all this stuff about him and I’ve been keeping it in this blanket.”
Andrea: “Some of this is old but there’s some great stuff here. I’m glad you like Jerry Rice also.”
Phillip: “Except for my Great Grandfather, Jebediah Sheppard who used to block for Jim Thorpe, Jerry Rice is the best player ever.”
Andrea: “It’s a shame we cannot put this on display.”
Phil: “Our shelter doesn’t have enough space.”
Andrea: “I’ll go ask the Crapateras if we can put all this on their wall…”

She scooted over to where Steve was dying and Julie was...well she just was.
She asked: “Hey Crappies, since we are voting you out one by one, you have all this empty space in your shelter and Phillip has some Jerry Rice memorabilia. Could we put it on your walls?”
Steve was offended: “Jerry Rice? He was one of those little guys afraid of the action. Football is played in the trenches. It’s a game for us big guys.”
That made Phillip jump up and he started screaming at Steve: “Are you saying that Jerry Rice was a bad player?”

Hearing that, Grant looked up and said: “Did Phillip just play the Jerry Rice Card?”
Rob answered: “He certainly didn’t play the Grant Mattos card. What’s that one worth? 2 cents?”
Grant: “I wish.”

From her Jacuzzi, Ashley heard also and she said: “Argh! I’m sick of Phillip talking about Jerry Rice. Rob told us we should like members of the New-England Patriots only so I don’t like Rice.”
Isn’t Ashley a good little Rob-bot?!

Back in the shelter, Steve was in a fighting mood even if he looked like a corpse: “Rice certainly was trying to avoid getting hit.”
Phillip could hardly contain his lion and his gorilla: “That’s what happens when someone in your position talks about someone of a different position. You must think I’m a lunatic for wanting to put some pictures of Jerry Rice in your shelter.”
Steve, smiling said: “You are a lunatic.”

Later, when Phillip started walking around with the machete, I started thinking he was cweepy.

The fight carried on to Tribal Council where Jeff had to learn exactly what happened but, having been bored to death by the live argument, I wasn’t going to listen to the instant replay.
Jeff came to the conclusion that they could both be wrong: “Phillip, as a fan of Jerry Rice, you could certainly be unable to grasp what it’s like to play in the trenches and nobody knows Steve or gives a crap about him and what he has to say. Fair enough?”
In the end, Natalie told Jeff: “I feel bad for Steve because he played back in the days when they didn’t wear helmets so I don’t think he has any judgment left. I also feel bad for Phillip because I don’t know what it’s like to be an old geezer.”

It was such a bad episode that I needed to laugh it off.

Ils sont fous, ces Romains!

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: The Rice Card kingfish 04-23-11 1
 It could have been so much worse. Estee 04-23-11 2
 RE: The Rice Card RollDdice 04-24-11 3
 RE: The Rice Card suzzee 04-24-11 4
   RE: The Rice Card michel 04-24-11 5
 So... Estee 04-24-11 6
   RE: So... michel 04-24-11 7
   RE: So... tribephyl 04-25-11 8
       RE: So... Estee 04-25-11 9
           RE: So... suzzee 04-25-11 10
           RE: So... michel 04-25-11 11
               RE: So... kingfish 04-25-11 12
                   RE: So... suzzee 04-26-11 13
                       RE: So... tribephyl 04-27-11 14
                           RE: So... PepeLePew13 04-27-11 15
                               RE: So... suzzee 04-27-11 16
                                   RE: So... PsychoKitty 04-27-11 17
                               RE: So... tribephyl 04-27-11 18
                                   RE: So... byoffer 05-02-11 19
                                       RE: So... michel 05-02-11 20

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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04-23-11, 04:09 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: The Rice Card"
You been short stopping my secret inside spoiler info? My spoiler source (*not-Russell) been working another deal with you?

(* legal disclaimer.)



Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}

(Well done Michel!)


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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-23-11, 04:44 PM (EST)
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2. "It could have been so much worse."
Someone could have tried to play the Gary Hogeboom card.
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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-11, 05:08 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: The Rice Card"
The Rice Card! *slaps forehead* I had that in my notes, but totally forgot to use it. (I can't read my own handwriting sometimes.)

Good job, Michel.



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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-11, 08:09 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: The Rice Card"
Rice is nice
Bugs are thugs
Why don't hockey players come on Survivor?

Rob-bot, yup.
Steve, exactly. A total waste of a contestant. Too bad David didn't play the "old geezer" game.

Nice job, I bet you feel much better now.



Hey! Who moved the island?


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-11, 09:18 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: The Rice Card"

>Why don't hockey players come on
>Survivor?

I don't know...maybe because they'd look pretty stupid wearing those pants on the beach? But are you sure there weren't any hockey players on the Pucka-Pucka tribe?

>I bet you feel
>much better now.

A little bit, yes!

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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-11, 09:45 PM (EST)
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6. "So..."
...brown rice or white rice?
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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-11, 09:57 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: So..."
Krispy Rice!

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tribephyl 9688 desperate attention whore postings
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04-25-11, 06:06 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: So..."
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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-25-11, 01:50 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: So..."
Ricist!

'I told you that story so I could tell you this one.'

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-25-11, 03:56 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: So..."
HA!! Would that be Phillip or Steve?


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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04-25-11, 04:32 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: So..."
"ricist"

"He's a rabid ricist! Oh, it starts with a few jokes and some slurs: "Hey, mushy!" Next thing you know he's saying they should have their own paddy fields."

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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04-25-11, 04:57 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: So..."
We need more pots of Federal boiling water at our borders to catch those sneaky little kernels !

This yellow rice invasion is no joke. The Saffron sucking Asians are just waiting to feed our innocent children!

A call to arms for all Patriotic Minute-Rice Men!

We thought the brown rice invasion was bad, just wait till the "N" (Nicaraguan) rice take over!

Uncle Ben, how could you do this to us? We trusted you!

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-11, 11:37 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: So..."
This rice situation is getting very sticky.

I'm voting for crunch rice.

I prefer wild rice. Once you go wild.......


Charter member of the Sarcasm Society

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tribephyl 9688 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-11, 04:10 AM (EST)
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14. "RE: So..."
I love rice balls. Specially Italian rice balls with some spicy sausage in the middle.


*wipes tomato sauce from corner of mouth*

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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-11, 07:35 AM (EST)
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15. "RE: So..."

>*wipes tomato sauce
>from corner of mouth*

Alfredo sauce seems more appropriate here ...

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-11, 08:27 AM (EST)
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16. "RE: So..."
Now I'm hungry.


A Tribe masterpiece


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PsychoKitty 678 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-11, 02:00 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: So..."
Oh god, you guys are turning me on! ;) or is it ;P !!!!?

Not that I have an opinion one way or another ;)
Signature by tribephyl

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tribephyl 9688 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-11, 05:32 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: So..."
Alfredo sauce seems more appropriate here ...
I chose tomato because anything even remotely connected to cheese is definitely a turn off.
And Pesto just sounds weird.
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byoffer 15808 desperate attention whore postings
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05-02-11, 06:22 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: So..."
And Pesto just sounds weird

And no guy wants to hear "presto" in this regard either - ladies don't tend to prefer "Minute Rice".


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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05-02-11, 10:26 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: So..."
What about long grain...
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