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""Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wing Chun with a side of Dry Rice ’"
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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-11, 05:06 AM (EST)
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""Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wing Chun with a side of Dry Rice ’"

I call this meeting of the Monkey Business to order:

I’m going to follow a recent tradition and start with some BTS business. Reports of my death, dismemberment and Pokémon have been greatly exaggerated. I have risen from the ashes of two cross-country trips and by the Hammer of Thor … wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me just say that those responsible for, and participating in, the slander, character assassination and Sunday Jumble abuse of my fine name will be severely punished. This will include having your swim trunks buried and not having anywhere to store your rice. The crime of sig pic theft and misappropriation is a much more serious RTVW crime. Punishment for that offense may involve having a pigeon feather crazy-glued to your forehead. (B.Y.O. Crazy) I’m still assembling a jury for that one, but David (AKA: Iron-Blind-side) is definitely not invited.

Our Adventure so far… The Princess Zelda tribe has fallen on hard times. The Ocarina Trio of Ralph, Steve and Julie are all that remain after the last Tribal Council when David fell victim to jury nullification and was sent to Religious School Island to join Matt, who is praying to his ole buddy Jesus. Meanwhile, Mike is praying for the inner strength to ignore the voices in his head that are telling him to just strangle Matt in his sleep. It seems that Matt is chatting up Jesus like he has hundreds of “Friends and Savior” minutes left on his soul’s calling plan and he’s determined to wring out every last one before the end of the month.

Matt confesses that he wants out of the game of Survivor, but Jesus wants him to stay. Matt is also convinced that if Jesus was playing Survivor, he wouldn’t quit. But Matt doesn’t consider that it’s a pretty easy call to stay in the game if you’re the guy wearing a Crown of Thorns Immunity Headband.

At any rate, David arrives at Religious School Island to see if Matt and Mike would be interested in filing a Class Action suit for the raw deal they’ve received at the hands of the Om tribe. They also discuss how the Challenges might work now that there are three of them. Once they eliminate Musical Chairs and Duck-Duck-Goose as possible Challenges, this brain trust examines the word Duel and dismisses it as something that only applies to two people. What they have here is a Tri-el or a Tru-el.

What they don’t know is that Tru-El was the sister of Superman’s father Jor-El, and that the Legal Department at DC Comics is currently preparing a lawsuit for trademark and copyright infringement that will reduce a million dollar Survivor prize to less than a typical gratuity left at McDonald’s. In other words, Richard Hatch would gladly pay the tax on what will be left after the lawsuit. At least those ink-stained and gin-soaked barristers know better than to go after me or Cheap B.S.

Nagatta Datta in Da Gadda Da Vita – Back at the tribe named after Amber’s Favorite Stuffed Animal (hereafter known as AFSA because I refuse to type Murlonio; it sounds like a bad mood-stabilizing drug with three pages of legal disclaimers), Steve confessionalizes the Om strategy by saying that they threw their four votes at Rob only to have them intercepted and run back for an eviction. “Wah. Wah. Wah,” sighs Steve as he impersonates Ms. Pac Man dying a slow and yellow death.

Meanwhile, Phillip is annoying everyone, even though he is almost a half mile away, chanting “Om” and half the dialogue that Linda Blair spouted in The Exorcist, while he’s “meditating” on the side of a mountain. Channeling and focusing his personal belief in Bullshido, Phil is an excellent example of how germs from a stray bird feather infected with virulent avian rabies can seep into what’s left of your brain and cause you to act even crazier and more egomaniacal than before. Medical professionals call it “Coach-itits”. Phillip also believes that he is now closer to God, or Buddah or Na Gatta Datta, which was either an obscure Art Movement or a stray lyric that even Phil Collins didn’t think he could get away with…

Redemption Casino Challenge – At Religious School Island Matt, Mike and David square off for a House of Cards challenge. With everyone in attendance, The Saint, The Sphinx and The Mouthpiece start dealing. Matt and Mike are keeping it pretty close, but David draws to a busted flush and is booted off Sequestered Jury Island, complete with the still anti-climactic burning of the buff. Besides missing out on his chance on a million dollars and not bonding with anyone in either tribe, this proves that David isn’t even smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Back at AFSA, (remember, I’m calling the faux-tribe AFSA, for Amber’s Favorite Stuffed Animal instead of Murlonio. Murlonio sounds like the brand name of a particularly vile boxed wine), the former Oms find maggots in their rice can. They want to put their rice in with the Princess Zelda rice, and Ambassador Phillip takes it upon himself to present the argument to Steve.

Phillip tells Steve that this is not even a Zapatera decision and threatens that unless Steve is willing to carry the heavy rice can with him everywhere he goes, Phillip will take it and put the Ometepe rice in the storage can. An exhausted Steve offhandedly calls Phillip “a lunatic”, and then it’s on like Chaka Kahn. Phil tells everyone that “any time you call a Black man a lunatic, you’re really calling him the ‘N word’”
And he tells Steve that they can go “y mano y mano if we have to” because “you’ve got a Wing Chung Kung Fu expert here.” Where’s your Zen now, Phillip?

There’s more, but treating this like a meaningful discussion of race relations is like citing The Olive Garden as a shining example of the best Italian cuisine you’ve ever tasted. Steve attempts to put things in perspective by saying, “It’s not a chip. It’s a log on (Phil’s) shoulder.”

Circles Within Circles IC - There are two heats. Those who are fastest at solving the inner circle of the puzzle go on to solve the outer circle. Rob breezes through the first puzzle although he is pounding on some of the pieces with his fist which causes Jiffy to caution, “Easy, brother. Easy.” Phillip thinks he’s solved the first puzzle, but then declares “false alarm” as Jiffy walks over to take a look. Rob wins it all and picks up the fancy necklace. Over at The Ponderosa, “puzzle master” David gnashes his teeth.

I Really Dig Those Swim Trunks – When everyone returns to camp, Julie decides to take Phillip’s swim trunks from the clothesline and bury them. This would force everyone to endure his Pepto Pink Underoos and perhaps cause the Oms to become so annoyed with Phillip that they would vote him out. As you would expect, Phil rants and raves about his missing trunks, blames Steve and makes some vaguely threatening comments.

Phil confesses to having a hair trigger, says that he’ll cause an NFL walkout, warns that he’ll bring about ten plagues and strolls around camp while running his finger along the blade of the machete. Or as we call it on Survivor: Redemption Island… Wednesday.

Meanwhile, Rob is thinking about who he should instruct his cult followers to vote out next. He says, (and this is available in needlepoint or etched in marble) “One man should not have this much power on an island. But I’m grateful that I do.”

Tribal Sensitivity Council - Rather than dance around the usual problems and try to bring out the insecurities, Jiffy tries to get to the bottom of the “race issue” at camp. Steve is still calm in his defense and Phil sheds some light on his personal background. Therapist Probst explains the difference between the phrases “that’s a crazy argument” and “you’re crazy”, but a King trumps a Psychologist and King Rob’s alliance holds. Julie is sent to Recycle Island and Ralph needs spell check on his Magic Marker.




Mark "Afterschool Special Survivor" Burnett
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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wi... byoffer 04-21-11 1
   RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wi... mindy23 04-21-11 4
 Hello, Dolly! kingfish 04-21-11 2
   He made me do it suzzee 04-21-11 5
   I feel the wheels of the bus go rou... suzzee 04-21-11 8
       RE: I feel the wheels of the bus go... RollDdice 04-21-11 9
           RE: I feel the wheels of the bus go... suzzee 04-21-11 12
 RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wi... Molaholic 04-21-11 3
 Make the Voices STOP! Retreat Islan... suzzee 04-21-11 6
 RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wi... suzzee 04-21-11 7
 RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wi... Scarlett O Hara 04-21-11 10
 RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wi... PsychoKitty 04-21-11 11
   Keep your ghosty hands off my suzzee 04-21-11 13
 Dragging the Dead Weight over to Ro... suzzee 04-21-11 14
   RE: Dragging the Dead Weight over t... suzzee 04-21-11 15
 RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wi... michel 04-21-11 16
   Dave & Phile in.....wait for it....... suzzee 04-22-11 17
       RE: Dave & Phile in.....wait for it... michel 04-22-11 20
 Peace, Love, and Brotherhood kingfish 04-22-11 18
   RE: Peace, Love, and Brotherhood RollDdice 04-22-11 21
       RE: Peace, Love, and Brother... suzzee 04-23-11 22
           RE: Peace, Love, and Brother... RollDdice 04-23-11 26
 RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wi... agman 04-22-11 19
   RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wi... suzzee 04-23-11 23
       RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wi... michel 04-23-11 25
 A New Day kingfish 04-23-11 24
 Secrets kingfish 04-25-11 27
   RE: Secrets suzzee 04-26-11 28
 RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wi... dabo 04-27-11 29
   RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wi... suzzee 04-27-11 30
       RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wi... dabo 04-27-11 31

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byoffer 15808 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-11, 09:42 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wing Chun with a side of Dry Rice ’"
Hilarious Rollie. The LOLs got going early for me with:

Matt is chatting up Jesus like he has hundreds of “Friends and Savior” minutes left on his soul’s calling plan

bwahahaha!!


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mindy23 1319 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-11, 11:42 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wing Chun with a side of Dry Rice ’"
Very good, synopsis, Roll!! Couldn't have nor would I have, done it any better.

I do have to say, I'm starting to feel for Matt. Has anyone in history of this game been so isolated {maybe Sugar??} for so long?
And, speaking of, what are these guys on RI eating, drinking, etc?

This is just a horrid mind game that no one should have to endure; I'm losing mucho respect for Rabfather and his followers for doing this over and over again to a seemingly nice person. For what? Because he dared give congrats to a winning team {not his own}? Think he's learned his lesson?


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-11, 11:15 AM (EST)
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2. "Hello, Dolly!"
LAST EDITED ON 04-21-11 AT 11:41 AM (EST)

Or, Welcome back Mr. Kotter!

We students at the Raunchy Girls School for the Raunchiest Raunchiness have an apology to make to our erst-while guest in the basement. It is with embarrassment that we find after going thru his belongings that we were actually hosting the honorable DollyBRice (or something like that) and subjecting him to really raunchy and unpleasant treatment of the sharp stick variety.

So here's our apology: We are sorry. We are so very sorry that we, the innocent Raunchitas, were led astray by unnamed (Suzzee did it) influences, and are also sorry for stealing (like Suzzee said we could) all your stuff. And we return your ferrets, your kids, your dog, and your pool table. We are going to keep the coin collection however, because it wasn't really our fault (Suzzee made us do it.)

Oh yeah, I feel we also owe you an apology for allowing ourselves to be talked, by person or persons unnamed (Suzzee), into turning you into Homeland Security, that process you went thru at the airport couldn't have been pleasant, I hear they use shock torture on suspected drug smuggling pedophile terrorist Mafia bosses these days.

Now that that's over, and please don't attempt to get us to dime the person who is really responsible for planning your demise (Suzzee), on to the latest spoilers supplied as usual by my inside spoiler source (*not-Russell) who will also be dropping by to return those women's undergarments he found in your bottom dresser drawer, plus all (or almost all) of your extensive S&M porn collection.

Spoiler #1: Jesus will tell St. Matt to cool it with all the begging for stuff and blaming stuff on him. It isn't dignified, and the pygmies are starting to complain.

Spoiler #2: Phil will invent a new tribe to rail against, the Zaperetos, a new martial art, Wing Chung Kung Fu, and a new title, Chief of Counter Intelligence. In self recognition of being the recipient of the second highest award possible for a person to receive, he also awards himself a second buzzard feather. Chief Two Feathers of the Insane Maniac Tribe.

The day shift cameraman demands a body guard claiming he doesn't want Phil to Wing Chung Kung Fu his ass, MorterForker!

Spoiler #3: Steve calls Phil the C word. Which Phil thinks is the N word. Because Phil really is the N word. Nuts.

Spoiler #4: All sharp objects are confiscated from camp on the advice of EPMB lawyers and psychiatrists.

(* legal disclaimer.)



Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-11, 03:54 PM (EST)
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5. "He made me do it "



A Tribe masterpiece


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-11, 04:21 PM (EST)
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8. "I feel the wheels of the bus go round and round......"
Are you trying to front-side me? (Suzzee did it, indeed) This whole thing was YOUR idea. I have the videos, both of them.

If you don't start nothin', there won't be nothin'.

See, you've forced me to use Philogic on you.


agman makes me hot


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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-11, 04:52 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: I feel the wheels of the bus go round and round......"
Yup. Show of hands...

How many of you thought that Kingfish wasn't going to throw suzzee under the short bus?

*crickets*

Riiiight.



Mark "Still trying to pull the knife out of my back" Burnett
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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-11, 08:21 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: I feel the wheels of the bus go round and round......"
That's because I'm such a threat. Philogic


A Tribe masterpiece


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Molaholic 8451 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-11, 11:37 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wing Chun with a side of Dry Rice ’"
<Stands well away from RD awaiting lightning bolt from Mt. Olympus Valhalla That Place Up There>

Funniest.Recap.Ever.


Tribe’s double duty 2011

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-11, 04:12 PM (EST)
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6. "Make the Voices STOP! Retreat Island says:"
Welcome back Roll! Bet you don't do that again. >ahem<
He made me do it. ALL of it. See my arm is twisted. No wait those are my shorts.

Anyway hope your little trip to the sanitarium went well. Dis place ain't da same wit out ya. Dolly snicker, he made me do that too


********************************************************
Island Update:

I'm being infested with these refugees, this is the problem with rent control.

Blondie thinks someone is listening to him. Dude. This Island is not available on your “Friends and Savior” plan. Besides Burnett is the only god around here. Ask anyone.

Now for that new guy, he's hot but dense. (Just da way I like my cake and my men). He can stack my tiles anytime. did I say that outloud?

Oh poor David, he lawyered-up and went off to that big ranch in the sky. Or that other ranch over dat-a-way.

I guess more of these rejects are coming to dwell on my beach. There goes the neighborhood.



Hey! Who moved the island?


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-11, 04:15 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wing Chun with a side of Dry Rice ’"
This would force everyone to endure his Pepto Pink Underoos

Hey thanks Rob for keeping Phile on the island. I would have gone insane. I'll make him a pair of shorts out of my swim suit top.



Picking great alliances since Episode 1!

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Scarlett O Hara 3259 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-11, 08:02 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wing Chun with a side of Dry Rice ’"
LAST EDITED ON 04-21-11 AT 08:02 PM (EST)

In case you didn't hear me, I said ... No man should have so much power on this island. But I'm grateful that I do.

It's about time that Jiffy and EpMB tossed a challenge my way. A challenge custom-designed for none other than yours truly. Too bad their wasn't a little reward attached to it. I could have taken my spa girls on a little side trip, instead of having to endure Phile's vulgar attempt at verbal warfare with Steve and Julie. What a piece of work! I couldn't pick a better F-2 mate if I tried.

Now who will accompany Phile and me to the Final Tribal? Who is staying on the God-fadda's good side?

Now remember Om's do as I say and not as I do! Be lazy around camp, help yourself to the Zap's rice, and above all ... annoy the heck out of everyone! And if you can't follow these simple rules, I'll make sure you're swimmin' with the fishes next week!


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PsychoKitty 678 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-11, 08:05 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wing Chun with a side of Dry Rice ’"
Too hilarious Rollie! Welcome home << And he tells Steve that they can go “y mano y mano if we have to” because “you’ve got a Wing Chung Kung Fu expert here.” Where’s your Zen now, Phillip? >> EXACTLY! And what a f&%$ed up meditation incantation - Jeez! He is such a freak show!
- - - - -

Back here at Loser Lodge, we are lovin' the show! Thank god Phile is still on the beach, 'cause that "crazy azz n" would eat all our ho-ho's! You keep him Rob - You wanted him and you are STUCK with him! Hope he doesn't kill y'all in your sleep! Stealth like . . . !

Now where did I put that Capt'n Crunch? . . . Kristina!?


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-11, 08:31 PM (EST)
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13. "Keep your ghosty hands off my"
Cap'n Crunch. Don't be putting your Cap'n Crunch in my can, yours has has maggots. Or are those mini-marshmallows? I'm taking my can of Crunch with me. Even to the loo.


Picking great alliances since Episode 1! Haunting Losers Lodge since Ep 5. Crazy since birth.

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-11, 08:35 PM (EST)
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14. "Dragging the Dead Weight over to Roll's House"
Use and abuse with reckless abandon

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-11, 08:38 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Dragging the Dead Weight over to Roll's House"
Excellent! Brilliant! Laughing all the way

under

the

bus.


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-11, 09:08 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wing Chun with a side of Dry Rice ’"
I don't know if you heard but I am apparently a Survivor All-Star! Probst wants me back!! I'm so excited.



BTW Phil was chanting "Omaha, Omaha"!
And now I feel like listening to "In a Gadda da Vida'

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-22-11, 08:24 AM (EST)
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17. "Dave & Phile in.....wait for it....."
Federal Court Island

David the hard nosed lawyer endlessly defending his client Phillip against real and imagined slights, slanders and potential Island ordered observation for dangerous delusional tendencies.

Tune in next season for Judge Jiffy. This season on Survivor Federal Court Island, will David win the jury over.....or will he. Will Phillip be committed? Tune in because Burnett needs a new pair of shoes. (So does David)

I like it. Oh yeah. Just think of the product placement. Judge Jiffy t-shirts, coffee mugs, tightey pink whities. We'll get RICH!

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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04-22-11, 11:30 AM (EST)
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20. "RE: Dave & Phile in.....wait for it....."
This could be a breach of the attorney-client privilege but Phillip is crazy. Did you know? Hush, keep it quiet. I don't think anyone knows but it could come into play later on with a plea of insanity.

Wouldn't that be something! When my client faces the jury, I'll say: Don't vote for Rob, he knowingly screwed you over. Don't vote for whichever member of the 3 degrees is sitting there because they knowingly were boring and did nothing. Give the money to Phil because he's insane so he's not responsible for any of this mess. A precedent on my very first Survivor case!



Forget the fact that it's unfair for the defense attorney to sit on the jury. There's nothing fair about Survivor and this is probably not the worst thing ever!

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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04-22-11, 10:20 AM (EST)
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18. "Peace, Love, and Brotherhood"
LAST EDITED ON 04-22-11 AT 10:23 AM (EST)

Or, "Not my fault!

The Raunchity Sisterhood would like to clear up some recent misunderstandings. Apparently our apology the other day didn't go far enough, and we'd like to extend it to all who may have felt offended. We will graciously overlook the fact that it's their fault for being the offended party, and attempt to move on with Peace, Love, and Forgiveness. We'll not place the blame on anyone, least of all Suzzee. Or Dolly. Who really started all this mess, but who we do not blame, yea, we ask their forgiveness, it was our fault for being the helpless victim in all this.

Anyway, why play the blame game? Yes, it might be thought that DollyBRice, by going on a "business trip" <*cough*WhoreMongeringGamblingDrugSmugglingSybariticSelfIndulgent*cough*> trip, thoughtlessly abandoned his duties to you. More, maybe when Suzzee selflessly volunteered <*cough*KidnappedHisCatandHeldForRansom*Cough*> to fill in, it might be said that she saw an opportunity to steal him blind.

But they did these things out of love and compassion for you, dear readers, and they did, if I must say, an exceptional job of supplementing the genius work by the great and revered Kingfish.

By now, we know that if there were any incriminating emails, letters, text messages or the like, that they would have come to light, and since they haven't, lets all just let it go and just pretend none of this ever happened. And that I don't have a new coin collection.

And seriously, we should all stand up and applaud Suzzee for the outstanding job she did while Rolly was away, and Rolly for the week in and week out hilarity he lays on us.

I know my secret inside spoiler source thinks this, he said as much when he dropped the latest newsflashes off this morning.

Spoiler #1: The country of Elbonia has lodged a formal protest against Rob for the use of the name Merlonia, and has filed suit in international court to reclaim it. Apparently they believe that they have a prior right to the use of all silly tribe names. In addition, they say it offends Teddy bears everywhere.

Spoiler #2: The League of Silly Made Up Martial Arts Society has proclaimed Phil as their lunatic of the year. He actually believes they were complimenting Phil with this award, but he's just a crazy "N" (nougat brain).

Spoiler #3: And once again Jesus is begging Matt to please be a bit more subtle, that by now he's just embarrassing God.

Spoiler #4: Without his little pelt picking cleaner Mike around, Rooster's parasites are beginning to overwhelm him. He's a'scritchin' and a'itchin' liake I dun't knuw whut, he claims.


(* legal disclaimer.)



Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}


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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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04-22-11, 12:57 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Peace, Love, and Brotherhood"
And seriously, we should all stand up and applaud Suzzee for the outstanding job she did while Rolly was away...

I second the emotion. Thanks and applause go out to both Suzzee and the Kingfish of Raunch and Roll. They were kind enough to not only conscientiously start the thresds, but also write some kick-assingly funny recaps. Throwing me under the 18 wheeler was just a bonus.

Thanks again guys.

Bounce or Die by IceCat

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-23-11, 08:47 AM (EST)
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22. "RE: Peace, Love, and Brother Sistahood>fixed<"
>snort<

Cheers to Sir Kingfish and Rolly both for the entertainment at the expense of Survivor Dawdom. They deserve it. Were I ever in their place I would hope I'd screw up enough to deserve the tongue lashing that is served up.

Until then I don't get mad, no never. I do however get even. bwahaha

BTW I am applying for the Kingfish Scholarship to the School of Raunchy Girls. My video is in the mail.


agman makes me hot


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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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04-23-11, 01:27 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Peace, Love, and Brother Sistahood>fixed<"
I screwed up? Where did I screw up?

P.S. - Please cc me on the video. I'd like to fire up some kettle corn and watch that.



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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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04-22-11, 11:09 AM (EST)
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19. "RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wing Chun with a side of Dry Rice ’"
I'm an official DAW now! Looks like y'all gonna see a lot more of me whether you like it or not!!!!



I'm the new star of survivor....Hell, I might even win the million bucks myself!

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-23-11, 08:50 AM (EST)
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23. "RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wing Chun with a side of Dry Rice ’"
As long as you keep him on the main island. I do not want those baggy sticky icky things anywhere near my pristine beaches.

BTW Matt, I believe God has blocked your calls. He's just messin' with your head anyway.


Hey! Who moved the island?


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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04-23-11, 01:17 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wing Chun with a side of Dry Rice ’"
Prickstine beeshes, Raunchy gurlz...Ah might like Regumption Hiland afterall.

Are yous reddy fur me? I hop you like 'um hairy becuz Ah got a tikut resurved fur dat tripe. LUL!

Big smooche!
yuyu


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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04-23-11, 12:52 PM (EST)
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24. "A New Day"
"And I'm feeling gooood"

The sun is shining, the Ralph is crowing, and the Raunchita School grounds are coated in the morning dew. We trust that that is dew, and not evidence of a new record of debauchery by the Raunchity School Field Hockey team.

Normally we would celebrate new debauchery achievements, and we wouldn't be too displeased even today except for the work involved in removing all the stains and mysterious bubbling substances in the fountains. But today we are getting ready to judge the pledges for the next batch of really really raunchy KingFish scholarships, and we don't want the local authorities to send in their SWAT teams. (Yeah, I said "SWAT", not what your were thinking. We actually welcome attention from the "other" teams).

The pledges are expected to really Raunch it up for us today.

So this afternoon everyone, judges and pledges alike, will line up, dressed in the sluttiest outfits, cleavage maximized, hair poofed up, Vespa Hogs shined and polished, obedient Wussy Cabana boys suitably obsequious, and of course, no panties. We don't need no stinking panties. Waste of time, they just get in the way and inevitably get ripped and torn anyway.

The ceremonies will begin in a minute, but first a few nuggets of gossip brought to us by my trusty and always faithful Wussy Secret Spoiler source (*not Russell):

Spoiler #1: A raid by Secret Agents dressed as howler monkeys agents stormed the Compound of the Cult of Merlonia in the night. However when the Secret agents started to Wing Chung Hung Fool Phil, they noticed the secret identification feathers. They then abruptly disappeared into the tree tops. Seems they were actually monkeys after-all, and that after peeing in the Merlonia rice they poked everyone with sharp sticks and ran away.

Spoiler #2: On the Isle of Matt's Damnation, a lively discussion erupted as to what the RI challenge should be called. Judicious Julie wanted to just call it a Three-way (Whoopie!!). I think she was pretty confident that she would come out on top if they did. Pelt picker Mike wanted to call it a Fooel-For-All), and Matt wanted to call it "a Wholly Trinity Test."

The pygmies wanted to call it a "Three-way Poke with Sharp Sticks". I hope they win.

Spoiler #3: The Three Degrees have been practicing their harmonies. Seems that an EPMB agent has approached them about singing back up for a new act, possibly featuring Ralph the crowing fuzz ball.

(* legal disclaimer.)



Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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04-25-11, 09:36 AM (EST)
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27. "Secrets"
Confidential Classified for Phil's Eyes Only"

The Raunchitierio School for the sadly demented and incurably Raunchy girls is pleased to announce that a guest speaker will becoming on campus to give the girls a talk about being a secret agent. Her grandmother came to her during a recent meditation and told her that she should be as closed mouthed as her hero, Super Sewer Secret Chief Intelligence officer Phil, also skilled in the art of Bullshido and Wing Chung Fool, and a direct descendant of Chief Two Bustard Feathers of the Padded Room Tribe on the 9th floor, she'll tell all.

At noon today in the main lecture hall (you girls know it as the main group fornication area), Suzzee Paloozi will regale us with stories of her past, present and future as well as some practical tips on picking up truckers on the interstate.

Before she arrives, a few top secret spoilers from my secret spoiler source (*not-Russell):

Spoiler #1: On the Isle of St. Matthew's Condemnation, they guys got together and discovered that life on the Isle wasn't so bad after-all. Plenty of food, lots of naps, no red tighty whities, no challenges, no stress. But to fill the time they began to write poetry.

Matt:
I wish for clean socks
And on Rob I wish a pox,
and that I wasn't as dumb as rocks.

Mike:
I miss my pelted buddy
He make me feel so Fuddy
and give me ticks and fleas that taste so nutty.

Julie:
These two boys are such good sports
We run and play and build neat forts.
But that's not enough, now I'll hide their shorts.

Spoiler #2: Creativity continues on the mainland. We present to you...The Singing Three Degree Sisters!

Do whop do whop do whop,
He's...the leader of the sect!

Do whop do whop do whop,
Rob's our mannnnn..

Do whop do whop do whop,
He makes our hearts go pitty pat

Do whop do whop do whop,
We do what he says.....

Do whop do whop do whop,
We eat when he says...

Do whop do whop do whop,
And we stay away from Zaps...

Do whop do whop do whop,
Do whop do whop do whop,

(Still a work in progress)

(* legal disclaimer.)



Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-11, 11:44 AM (EST)
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28. "RE: Secrets"
swoon

Miss P tells the tale we should follow,
Although some is so hard to swallow,
She huffs and she puffs,
but we can't get enough,
Then we hang on each word till tomorrow.


Your devoted # 1

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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-11, 01:36 AM (EST)
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29. "RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wing Chun with a side of Dry Rice ’"
Well, Jeff, what happened this week I mean they were eating their rice, lots of it. We all know the rice is supposed to be shared, we made sure nothing else was shared but you know the rice it shouldn't even need to be said it should be shared. And it is precious. And they were just eating it, eating lots of it, they were just wrong is what they were just wrong wrong wrong, eating their rice that way. They wouldn't stop even after I took a bunch of their rice when they weren't looking, they're so petty they kept eating their rice, running out of rice and they just eat it like there's nothing else to do. They made it ugly, it's just astonishing to see how mean and nasty people can be eating rice. They wouldn't even listen to nice little Amberdrea when we sent her to talk to them about fixing our bad rice by putting it with their good rice, nice little Amberdrea they treat that way, and so I got mad, and then they had the nerve to not agree to do like I told them to do and I got so mad, they called me code I know they did, they should just do like they're told and not throw the code card you know what I mean! Zapazadoos just don't know their place and just sitting there eating their rice, just don't know their place, and then the code card came out and I went off, just went off, they had it coming.


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-11, 08:31 AM (EST)
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30. "RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wing Chun with a side of Dry Rice ’"
Candidate for Fringe Division: Phillip Rice


Picking great alliances since Episode 1! No one will remember me with this scene stealer

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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-11, 12:08 PM (EST)
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31. "RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep10: ‘Wing Chun with a side of Dry Rice ’"
Shame! Shame on them for coding me! Shame shame shame! But now I have to win, they have code guilt on them, HA! Stupid coding subhumane Zapadaps, I had to go off, they made me do it! Winning!


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