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""Be The Survivor: S22 Ep04: "The Duel is 'Man Oh Man' plus Russell loses his cherry""
RollDdice 5433 desperate attention whore postings
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03-10-11, 03:43 AM (EST)
 
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""Be The Survivor: S22 Ep04: "The Duel is 'Man Oh Man' plus Russell loses his cherry"" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-12-11 AT 11:50 PM (EST)Let’s Get Ready to Slumber Rumble - As we join this edition of Survivor Slumber Party, we see Russell preparing to give Francesca some sweet, sweet lovin’. But to his surprise, it’s Matt who has already put his own bra in the freezer and is now braiding his hair and singing Justin Bieber songs into the handle of his hairbrush. Russell’s thoughts of love are dashed . . . no, pipe that . . . Russell gives a ‘what the hell’ shrug and it appears that he’s reaching for Matt’s . . . damn, Russell suddenly notices the night cameraman and quickly changes direction. It looks like there won’t be any Brokeback Island tonight. Matt communicates the cacophony of emotions swirling through his mind by blandly telling the camera “Russell Hantz just walked into my camp.” Note to Recycle Island Camera Op: Please tell this kid that Survivor is a reality show and not a 39 day long Deposition. In confession, Russell’s ego is writing checks and his mouth is spitting out cash like an ATM. He tells us that this is the first time he’s ever been voted out by his tribe mates and he’s pissed off. The Zygote Poet Laureate goes on to say that he wants to “bitch slap every one of them for lying to me. My tribe’s gonna come here one at a time and I’m gonna pick them off and make them suffer. I’m gonna say, ‘Sleep in the mud, fool!’” Mr. T feels a ripple in the Force, but smiles in anticipation of yet another royalty check and perhaps a catch-phrase line extension. Saggy Bottom Breakdown - Over at Onomatopoeia, Phillip is sweeping up the Flatt while his Scruggs are hanging out of his tighty-pinkies, sickening the rest of his tribe. Sweep, Phillip. Sweep, sweep, sweep. Natalie and Ashley avert their eyes, gag and mutter “disgusting”, while Rob opines about Phillip’s ability to pack his own suitcase, asking “Who comes on Survivor wearing a worn out pair of pink tighty-whities? It’s like your dad wearing shorts he should have thrown out months ago. You don’t want your friends coming over to play and seeing that.” After a half hour of trying to get Phillip to sit in such a way that we don’t see Paris and France, his confessional reveals that he thinks that the younger players don’t understand him. His solution? “There has to be another side of me that emerges—the guy that’s undercover.”
Clear proof that someone’s elastic is unraveling, because we all know that if you want to gain trust in Survivor you should always insert another layer of espionage and evasiveness. Upon further reflection Phillip decides that he’s going to use his government experience with the BVDs in order to jockey for position, continue to hunt and provide fruit of the looms, and use his Joe Boxer attitude to be more Hanes-on with his tribe mates and then CK what happens. On the Zygote beach, Cult of Russell members Stephanie and Krista discuss the fact that they are stuck with all of the goobers and they’re not having any fun. But they use their private time wisely to plan what their strategy will be when Russell wins the Challenge at Redemption Island and rejoins the game. Krista: “I hope Russell kills it.” Stephanie: “He will kill it.” Wow. When it comes to strategy, these CURs are really swimming upstream. Can I get a witness? - Phillip scoops up the tree mail for Onomatopoeia which tells the tribe to select two people to go to the Duel at Redemption Island. The clue suggests options for selecting who will be audience members for the Duel. One is Rochambeau, which Phillip pronounces “rotten shampoo”. Rochambeau is basically Rock-Paper-Scissors if you wear a beret and like depressing cinema, but they would have done as well with “The Big Bang Theory’s” Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock or the Charlie Sheen variant, Death by Overdose –Death by Hooker- Death by Career Suicide. Before a Rules Committee can be formed, Phillip volunteers to go and ropes Kristina in as well. It’s no surprise that Phillip justifies his desire to see the Recycle Island Duel because he’s a Former Federal Agent. “I definitely want to go to Redemption Island because of my background as a Special Agent with the United States Government. I’m looking for a little Intel to help me win this game.” You can’t help think that when he heads off for his morning movement he tells everyone, “I must find a tree to use as a latrine because of my background as a Former Federal Special Agent where we were taught that expelling solid waste is important to our sense of well being.” My prediction is that in order to emphasize his authority over his younger tribe mates and reinforce his former Special Agent-ness, we’re just two episodes away from seeing Phillip wear his fuscia Underoos and a tie that he’s fashioned from tree bark. Very Yogi Bear. David vs. EGO-lie-eth - Over at Redemption Island, Russell is just starting to fire up his personal PR machine, telling us that “This Duel is going to be Man O Man, a good versus evil type thing.” Whether Russell meant mano y mano or if he was still thinking about cuddling with Matt is lost to history, but it is clear that he has his game face on, meaning a nasty scowl and an even nastier carnival hat. For his part, Saint Matt points out that “Russell is the biggest villain in Survivor history, Hantz down, but I’m fighting to honor my God.” With tsunamis, earthquakes, devastation and starvation going on, I’m not sure that our little show is on God’s myFaves calling plan, but I hope there are some religious Nielsen families praying for us rather than false American Idols. With Phillip and Kristina seated for Onomatopoeia and Ralph and Sarita for Zygote, Jiffy explains that the Challenge involves stacking blocks of wood that will fall down in order, releasing a ball that will smash a tile. Saint Matt’s muttered prayer, “Domino, Nabisco, hand me the Crisco” seems to be working as he quickly lines up his blocks, but his first attempt fails in the middle. Russell comes up short as well and as he desperately tries to re-set, Matt spaces his wood blocks correctly and with a push on the first domino, sets the chain reaction in motion to win the Challenge. From the cheap seats Ralph is hopping up and down while it seems that Sarita has peed herself from pure happiness. Phillip is in shock, while Kristina shouts, “Holy mackerel!” fulfilling all of our religious and fish pun needs in one declarative statement. Jiffy points out that Russell is done, and for the third time he now has no chance to win Survivor. But even the Texan Tormentor has figured that out. He starts crying and pulls down the brim of his hat to hide his tears. “My tribe threw a Challenge to send me here. I’m like a Pro Quarterback who has peewee leaguers on my team. I have to run the ball, throw the ball to myself and catch it.” Ralph can’t let this go and brags that he found the HII in less than five minutes. Even if he is officially out of the game, Russell still knows how to manipulate someone’s ego. Russell says he doesn’t believe it and wants to see the Idol. Before you can say, “short bus”, Rooster is trying to dig the Idol out of his bag. Sarita is furiously stage-whispering “Don’t do it, Ralph” over and over until it gets through, but the damage is done. Ralph pulls his empty hand and says “I faked yew…” in Russell’s general direction, but no one’s buying it. No one’s even renting. Phillip chimes in with “I earned my living discerning whether someone’s telling the truth or not . . .”
Thank you, Special Agent Obvious. The bombshell has been dropped, but the strafing run continues. Russell outs Sarita as the leader and names Mike and Steve as a team. Russell ends his reign of terror by proclaiming, “Now through these two, I can stay in this game.” Having said his piece, Russell slithers off toward the Ponderosa, just east of Mordor. Meanwhile, over at Onomatopoeia, Rob confesses that he needs some private time to search for the HII, so he creates Carnival Day. He promises that if the rest of his tribe comes down to the beach, they’ll find the games, rides, ponies and 65” HD flat screen that he’s rented for them. Once they’re on the beach, Rob pretends that he’s dealing with a bout of constipation and jogs into the woods with a shovel.
He’s looking for the Pope, a Bear and the HII. After a frantic and furious search Rob spots the Idol wedged between two branches of a tree. “Ding ding ding, we have a winner!” he declares. Ding Dong, The Troll is Dead – At Zygote, Rooster and Sarita tell the tale of Russell’s defeat at the hands of Matt while their tribe mates listen, spellbound. Stephanie and Krista are upset that Russell was in tears and they continue to defend him. On the walk back to Onomatopoeia, Phillip’s Underoos swish. Swish, swish, swish. He tells Kristina not to say anything to the others about Russell's revelations about Zygote’s Idol and alliances. Phillip tells her that this information can be valuable and can help them both. He might even be able to keep her in the game a little longer. Her masterful response is “You have experience in these covert matters, Phillip. So whatever you think.” How Kristina managed to bite her lip and not burst out laughing is the stuff of which legends are made. Kristina continues to hold it together back at camp while Phillip regales everyone else with his version of the Duel. After his performance, Phillip pulls Rob and Grant aside for a debriefing. You would think that “debriefing” means that his Underoos have finally given up the ghost, but he wants to tell them “the whole story” in exchange for moving Kristina down the elimination list. Under Rob’s questioning, Phillip’s story and leverage just … unravel. When Rob and Grant are alone, they agree that they can’t trust Phillip and that he’s got to go. Immunity/Reward Challenge: What a Tool – Each tribe will use the Craftsman tool kit to open a crate, retrieve a shovel, dig until they find an axe which will be used to chop a log that will release two saws. The saws will used to cut through a plank wall. The planks will be used to complete a ramp that will get the tribe to a platform where they must hammer three nails through to break three tiles. Besides Immunity, the winning tribe will get a BBQ and feast including steak, sausages, and vegetables. Rob and Rooster feature prominently for their tribes. Jiffy provides excellent commentary, even telling Phillip, “You need to dig!” as he falls behind. In the end Zygote wins Immunity and the feast. In his confessional, Mike tells us that “The victory was exponential. I haven’t thought about sex in two weeks, just food.” ‘Exponential’? Inconceivable. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. “I now call this meeting of the ‘Foot in mouth club’ to order” – In a grand tradition that dates back four episodes, Phillip calls an Onomatopoeia tribe meeting to call their performance at the Challenge a good effort. The waves of hatred coming toward Phillip look like the “stink lines” that the Warner Brothers cartoonists would draw around Pepe and Pene Le Pew. (the cartoon characters, not our own beloved RTVW members) While Phillip is oblivious to the vibe, Rob mentions that there is “utter malice toward Phil that’s palpable” and proves two things; Phillip is clueless and Mariano brought a word-a-day calendar as his luxury item. Never Go Against a Sicilian when Tribal Council is On The Line – Kristina is feeling a little defensive and finding her options limited, tries to plant doubt in Natalie’s mind about someone having discovered the HII by now. Armed with this information, Natalie goes running off to her alliance. She explains that Kristina hasn’t been searching for the HII, so she must have it. Those who do not have, seek. Those who have, do not seek. Rob, who did his hide-n-seeking in private has the Idol, and is secretly thrilled that no suspects him. He puts the poisoned goblet of wine in front of Vizzini, nods wisely and convinces his alliance to split the vote between Kristina and Phillip. The goal is to get rid of Kristina as Rob senses that she is the smarter player. There may be some grumbling, but for the most part the tribe says, “As you wish” to Rob. Have Fun Stormin’ The Council - Everyone has run out of tattoos for show and tell, so Tribal Council is fairly straight-forward. Kristina positions Phillip as disruptive around camp and Jiffy asks Phillip if that’s a label that he’s faced before. Phillip tells everyone that he is “a doer” who has “the Sheppard stamp”. He also revealed that he was with the U.S. Army Field Sanitation Team and earned the second highest medal available during peacetime. Apparently, there’s some enemy garbage that can shoot back. Jiffy rolls his eyes and concurs that Phillip is “a doer” and they go off to vote. The Rob vote split goes off without a hitch and Kristina Kell marches off to Redemption Island. However, she goes with a pure heart, an empty mind and a plan. Her Recycle Island Duel strategy is to “rock it.” You heard that right. She’s going to rock it with Saint Matt for all the marbles. Let’s see American Idol’s “Salute to Glee” beat that.
Mark "Burned Out" Burnett
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suzzee 2880 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest"
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03-10-11, 11:37 AM (EST)
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5. "Ohhhhhh Robbbbbbbb" |
Me? I'm a threat? My only hope of an alliance was Phillip and then I trashed him at Tribal Council. Fine, see if I give you any toilet paper.
Picking great alliances since Episode 1!
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kingfish 12263 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-10-11, 10:43 AM (EST)
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3. "Days of Whine and Russ's..." |
LAST EDITED ON 03-10-11 AT 01:06 PM (EST)
Easter is the new Christmas
Celebrations are underway here at the Missypissy School for Raunchy Girls. It is Lent, and for Lent, we gave up Russell. And we dance around the Maypole. And things are well in Raunchy land again. The Pygmies can have him. They are free to barbecue him, bury him alive, skin him and make belts, or just bury him alive. Alternatively, they could just bury him alive. Whatever. And this should put to rest all those pesky and unfounded rumors about Russell being my source for these splendid and (you must admit) dead on spoilers. My Source (*not-Russell) is definitely not Russell. Someone else all-together. It is possible that the real source is short, bald, bulbous headed, and stinks like a Turkish shit house, but coincidences aside, it is not Russell. And all you US Marshals that are trying to find me and serve those libelous subpoenas can just boink up a different tree. That's whut I say. Spoiler #1: In what is possibly the biggest Spoiler news ever, God is on Matt's side. Matt is not evil, and he wants to win so badly that he has managed to convince God to be on his side. This doesn't bode well for our other intrepid castaways. Not well at all. Spoiler #2: It is finally revealed what kind of Federal Agent Phillip used to be. A sanitary worker Federal Agent, the kind that, when he isn't digging latrines, goes through the trash of terrorists and hoodlums and other bad eggs to find incriminating evidence. Also Phillip demonstrates an unusually high degree of specialized spy craft, that is, throwing a sharp stick. Also, his powers of observation allow him to look at a furball and tell if it is lying. "That furball is telling the truth" he declares with conviction. Spoiler #3: The GadFadda's schemes come back to haunt him in the form of either the Ghost of Matt (or maybe the Ghost of Kristina). But most likely, in the name of all that is holy, the goodness that is Matt will turn it's focus on the evilness that is the GadFadda and shall smite him a new one. Spoiler #4: The last ingredient in the witches brew Andrea is preparing for her avowed enemy, the GadFadda, "Tears of Russell" are finally hers. That rarest of items, rarer than a unicorn horn, rarer than a scales from a mermaid, "Tears of Russell" go into her brew. Ju-Ju like no other Ju-Ju!. And it appears that the fate of the Gadfadda is sealed at last. (* legal disclaimer.)
Tribal Art{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}
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suzzee 2880 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest"
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03-10-11, 11:34 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: "Be The Survivor: S22 Ep04: "The Duel is 'Man Oh Man' plus Russell loses his cherry"" |
What a battle! (Good & Eeeevil) What a train wreck! (Rooster) What the heck, I may have been witness to the biggest blah blah blah. Enough hype already. I need to call Hazmat and have them come in and remove the tear contaminated sand before it eats a hole. You've seen Alien right? Same stuff. Let's total the "outed" secrets that were spewed in those 30 seconds: 1. Rooster let the idol out of the bag.
2. Sarita is really Evita Peron over at Zygote.
3. Phillip knows when everyone but BRob lies.
4. Kristina is second in an alliance of one.
5. Matt is in possession of God, as in "My God".
6. Russell is a crybaby and g-o-n-e, gone. I feel so dirty..........
Hey! Who moved the island?
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moonbaby 15982 desperate attention whore postings
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03-11-11, 08:58 PM (EST)
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22. "*sniffle*" |
Don't you miss him somethin' awful? You know, he was just a great guy. It's true-he told me so. To think of him cryin' like that makes me want to cry. *sniffle* I mean, we had an alliance with him, you know? We were going to the END.E-N-D END END END!!! So you and me have, you know, lots of work to do-we gotta show Russell what we can do, make him proud. 
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foonermints 9072 desperate attention whore postings
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03-10-11, 11:50 PM (EST)
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14. "You are just not fingered for now." |
Dudette, you might get rid of me, but you ain’t getting rid of me. I’m gonna be there forever!
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kingfish 12263 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-11-11, 11:18 AM (EST)
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19. "News" |
The Newest NewsIt's a new day at the school, and the raunchy girls woke up with morning after hangovers. But in contrast with that of the weepy little girl, Russell, (add "Whiner" to his resume) ours were merry happy go lucky hangovers. But still this was a day for rest and contemplation of our navels. So onto today's spoilers, supplied to you thru me from my reliable but *not-Russell source. Spoiler #1: Phillip, our intrepid Federal Sewer Rat, will continue to be on the hunt for "intel" hidden in land crab holes. He has his ultra-secret spy interrogation device (that he made by hand out of ordinary stick, oooh the resourcefulness of real spys), a sharpened stick. And so far he has determined that most land crabs are liars. And then they scuttle away. Spoiler #2: Sarita continues to lead from behind.
Spoiler #3: Mike's thoughts haven't turned to sex in two weeks, ever since he discovered the pleasures of Ralph's back fur. Something funny is going on there, I tell ya!
Spoiler #4: Stephanie is still planning the BIGGEST BLINDSIDE EVER!!!. After which she will swim to the ponderosa to be with her man. Spoiler #5: Natalie steals Phillip's red Tidy Whiteys. The Hazmat team had to provide her with a sterile isolation suit, a special 10' pole, and a incineration fire barrel. To everyone's surprise, it was discovered that Phillip had nothing to hide, just a Ken Doll blank spot. No balls at all. He had given them up when he became a Special Shit shoveling agent so that when he was captured by an enemy bent on discovering the Nation's deepest secrets buried in our latrines, they he would be less susceptible to torture. For this sacrifice he received the second highest peace time honor the army can award, the Pooper Heart.
(* legal disclaimer.)
Tribal Art{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}
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kingfish 12263 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-12-11, 10:37 AM (EST)
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27. "Takes a Licking" |
And keeps on lickingSpoiler #1: Ralph licked his fingers
He licked his toes
He licked his elbows,
he licked his nose Then licked all Zap fingers
he licked all their toes
he licked in all those places
where no-one else goes. Then when he was done
and no more unlicked Zap toes,
He swam the gulf between
and licked those of their foes. (* legal disclaimer.)
Tribal Art{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}
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Spanky68 8065 desperate attention whore postings
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03-13-11, 00:37 AM (EST)
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28. "Call me David" |
Because I prayed to God and he delivered me from a giant troll. Biggest in Survivor history.Russell, I cast ye out into the dark void...well out of the Survivor universe anyway. Did you guys hear what he said? He said he was never playing again. That should draw a collective Hallalujah! 
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suzzee 2880 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest"
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03-13-11, 11:34 AM (EST)
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29. "Ohhhhhh Rollllll" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-13-11 AT 11:38 AM (EST)Matt who has already put his own bra in the freezer and is now braiding his hair and singing Justin Bieber songs into the handle of his hairbrush Brokeback Island  !!??!! >snort<
Phillip is sweeping up the Flatt while his Scruggs are hanging out of his tighty-pinkies >coffee spray< BVDs? jockey ? fruit of the looms? Joe Boxer? Hanes? CK ? That has to be a record for product placement Sears is gonna be pissed off. You're going to have a tough time topping this one. Holy Snarkasaurus Batman. I could go on but I broke my ctrl-c keys. Well worth the wait. BTW I loath the time change-just putting that out there. 
agman makes me hot
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kingfish 12263 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-13-11, 12:37 PM (EST)
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30. "RE: Ohhhhhh Rollllll" |
MissyPissy is officially pissed! The EPMB has used up all remaining BVD jokes. And you do not want a Raunchy Girl mad wit chew!!!.Anyway, as I fume, lets get to the latest spoilers, supplied as usual by my secret source who is definitely *not-Russell. And also *not-Russell's Ghost. Spoiler #1: Special Pooper Patrol Agent Phillip continues to try and make contact with his army of underground secret agents, the Crabmoles. His method of communication is the "sharp stick", brilliant in it's simplicity. Spoiler #2: Rooster Cogburn complains of True Grit in his butt crack. Spoiler #3: The Cult Of Russell is now worshipping the Ghost of Russell who appeared to them via their olfactory senses. The GOR also leaves a brown hash mark where ever it sits down, much the same as the real Russell did. Spoiler #4: Everyone (except the GadFadda) becomes convinced that the Ju-Ju Bag that Andrea has been wearing around her neck is the HII. Little do they know that it is an even more potent force. The Ghost of Francesca has been seen by the night shift cameraman (he swears) chanting over it. Spoiler #5: Grant's Dreds are whispering into Grant's ear "Save The Gadfadda, Save The Gadfadda". Which at least explains how he fails to understand that the FIRST person that team should get rid of is good ole Boston Rob. Spoiler #6: Phillip's BVD's (baggy, vile, and disgusting - take THAT EPMB!!) continue to fascinate the day-shift cameraman. (* legal disclaimer.)
Tribal Art{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}
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RollDdice 5433 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-13-11, 04:22 PM (EST)
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31. "RE: Ohhhhhh Rollllll" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-13-11 AT 05:27 PM (EST)You're going to have a tough time topping this one. Holy Snarkasaurus Batman. Thanks for the kind words. I try to lay out a solid (and hopefully, amusing) summary so you talented BTS players can go to town. It's nice to hear that it's appreciated. (and confidential to MissyPissy: You don't need me to leave things on the table. You obviously squeezed out another great BVD joke because you've got Mad Skillz.) Squeezing Phillip's BVDs... yuck! 
Bounce or Die by IceCat
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kingfish 12263 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-14-11, 10:30 AM (EST)
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41. "Ghosts of Nicaragua" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-14-11 AT 07:14 PM (EST) Or Stephanie goes Translucent. Maybe. We Raunchy Girls like our Ghosty friends, they are very helpful when exploring our inner raunchiness. So today's spoilers, supplied as usual by my stinky source (*not-Russell) in the natty carnival hat are especially apropos. Spoiler #1 The Ghost of Francesca dances on the Grave of Phillip, the Super Sewer Rat Agent. Phillip isn't quite dead yet but he's beginning to fade. Spoiler #2 Stephanie is beginning to fade also. She spends her time mourning the loss of the "Best Player Ever". Stephanie apparently has a special place in her heart for lying, stinky, booger faced men. Alas, an all to common affliction for many women. Spoiler #3 The Ghost of Redemption Island sings hosannas for Saint Matt. The Island isn't dead yet, just feeling a little peckish Spoiler #4 Rooster Cogburn has crabs living in the True Grit in his butt crack (I'm going to keep repeating this joke till someone laughs, dang gum it.) Spoiler #5 Phillip has yet to get any actionable intel from his Crabmole agents, despite his clever use of a sharp stick. However that hasn't seem to have dampened his enthusiasm even a little. Spoiler #6 The cheer seems to have gone out of the cheerleader's life. No more Rah Rah Rah from Krist for a while. Just Waaa Waaa Waaa. Spoiler #7 David continues to solve great puzzles in his head. Don't let his catatonia fool you, inside he's a dynamo.
(* legal disclaimer.)
Tribal Art{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}
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kingfish 12263 desperate attention whore postings
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03-15-11, 01:47 PM (EST)
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46. "The Tension Builds" |
The Horses Are Coming Into the Home Stretch(That was definitely NOT a reference to Julie. OK it really is, I just don't want her to kick my Raunchy ass. She's big and mean and muscly, and although we Raunchy Girls are Raunchy we aren't all that muscular. Or all that brave either, when it comes down to it). Sorry for the greasy hands, but us Raunchy girls love nothing more that to take our Vespas apart and make them go faster. We're the real thing. And we drink Coca Cola, a Real Raunchy Girls Drink. (Disclaimer: I received a small fee for this promotion. Just enough to feed the orphans and pay the lease on my Malibu Beach house. And my fleet of stretch Vespas). I also do this for you dear reader, so that I may afford the overhead involved in order to present these carefully crafted spoilers, and to pay my Spoiler Source (*not Russell). And I feel that under the circumstances I should have a legal expense fund in case the Marshals ever figure out my disguise. Spoiler #1: In the next team immunity challenge Steve will break out into a rousing rendition of "Put Me in Coach, I'm Ready to Go!". Rooster will amaze everyone when he stretches out his armpit hairs and plucks out an admirable guitar accompaniment. Later he is heard to explain; "Usn kounterie bois gits r dun!" Spoiler #2: Natalie will find an idol. Unfortunately it is Maizihaha, Corny God of Humor, left over from a previous Survivor Season. 
Tribal Art
It didn't get her any immunity, but it did get a small laugh. Spoiler #3: Julie continues her workouts. She does fifty dumbbell lifts whenever she manages to catch Rooster. Spoiler #4: Phillip has a new plan to take over leadership if the OhNo!s from de GadFadda. His plan is to enlist the aid of the CrabMoles, his secret special operations branch. Upon hearing the plan, they of course fall down and spend a merry time laughing their asses off and rolling around in the sand. After employing his special talent of reading their faces, he figures out that they are laughing at him, not with him. Spoiler #5: Saint Matt is praying for deliverance on Redemption Challenge day. He's not all that sure that Kristina is evil, and that has him worried. God may not be as definitely on his ("The Good"), side as he was last week. His prayer goes something like this: "Please make Kristina evil so that I can asketh you to smiteth her into smallith pieces, and so that the Serpents shall sucketh her blood and the pygmies shall eatith her flesh". I ask this in your name, Lord. Amen". So, we shall seeith.
(* legal disclaimer.)
Tribal Art{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}
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suzzee 2880 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest"
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03-16-11, 08:17 AM (EST)
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53. "RE: The Tension Builds" |
Baby got back....I need a code to translate CIA-speak. I meant for you to be my alliance but you were the nearest to the bus tires.
Picking great alliances since Episode 1!
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p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
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Ugh, visions of Phillip's saggy pink bottom . . .
