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"Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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03-03-11, 06:16 AM (EST)
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"Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
LAST EDITED ON 03-03-11 AT 03:28 PM (EST)


Goober says ‘Hey.’ – It’s Night 5 at the Redemption Island Ramada and Matt has just trudged up from the front desk to Francesca’s “Sticks and Stones” suite. Awakened from a semi-sound sleep, Fran has the presence of mind to ask, “Why are you here and not Phil?” Exasperated, Matt sighs, “Most excellent question!” and strums a power chord on his air guitar. Millions of Americans cock their heads like Labradoodles, stare at their televisions and plaintively mutter, “Keanu…?” Ted/Keanu goes on to rant that Boston Rob is a scoundrel that has left him sick to his stomach. He also admits to feeling like a Goober for being blindsided. Basically, he didn’t see the vote coming, he uses the word “scoundrel” and he thinks that Mariano’s first name is “Boston”.

Someone’s not the smartest Apostle at the Supper.

We wuz Robbed - Over at Oompa Loompa, Rob is in urgent need of Tommy John surgery. It seems that he strained his elbow ligament patting himself on the back. Through his mastery of the game of Survivor he has not only single-handedly managed to blindside Matt, convinced Ambuh to marry him and forced Kristina to play her not-so-hidden Immunity Idol, but he’s also persuaded your humble Executive Producer to cast him in “Marquesas”, “All-Stars” and “Heroes v. Villains”. Can anyone say, “These are not the droids you’re looking for…”?

Rob admits that he has Grant in his alliance while Natalie and Ashley have created their own brand of Witless Protection. Balancing all of the nuances of the game, Rob taps Phillip on the shoulder and announces, “You’re fifth.” The only task left for the Robfaddah now is to convince Andrea that he held no malice for Matt when he sent her Island Eye Candy over to the other sand box.

Remedial Island – The CBS execs have been very concerned about people understanding the twist of “Redemption Island.” Therefore I am contractually committed to a “no one left behind” policy. This means that as Francesca and Matt stumble out of the “All You Can’t Eat” breakfast buffet, I have forced the writers to write, and Fran to read, a Clue that says that there will be an Arena Duel. The winner will stay at Recycle Island while the loser goes home. This causes Matt to remark, “Apparently we’re going to have an Arena Duel somewhere.” *facepalm*

Matt’s prayers are answered and instead of a school desk and a handful of Number 2 pencils, he’s looking at a Survivor Recycled Challenge. After a crane shot worthy of Spartacus, we see Oompa Loompa’s Ashley and Andrea sitting in the bleachers on one side, while Steve and Dave from BugZappa sit across the aisle, looking desperately for the hot dog vendor.

In the role of host, referee and cheerleader, Jiffy reminds both contestants that their own tribes voted them out and here we will see who can remain in the game. When pressed, Matt admits that if he can survive here and go on to win a million dollars it will be the biggest underdog story ever.

The challenge involves tying sticks together so that they are long enough to retrieve three keys from different posts. While Fran jumps out to an early lead and is working on fishing her third key off of the post, it is the underdog Matt who pulls in all three keys and opens the locks first. Jiffy instructs Francesca to toss her buff on the fire on the way out. She is the first person eliminated from the game, while Matt is sent back to the Recycle Island waiting room to look forward to his next challenger.

Jiffy also tells the representatives of both tribes that it's up to them to share whatever they want of the Arena Duel when they go back to camp.

EnHantz the Sheen - Back at BugZappa, Steve and Dave take advantage of the Arena Duel loophole. With tribemates gathered around they say that Francesca won the challenge, but as soon as Russell is out of earshot they tell everyone that “the blonde dude” won. Meanwhile, Russell is not so easily fooled and seems, like a certain celebrity who’s been in the news lately, to be more evolved than anyone else on the planet. {See handy chart, below}. Russell goes over to plot strategy and hang out with his two ‘goddesses’, Stephanie and Krista. While Krista seems to be quietly working on her cheers in the background, Stephanie has been doing a keg stand with the Russell Kool-Aid. Since Russell hasn’t been able to find a Hidden Immunity Idol, she suggests that they make a fake one. In her words, “It’s like a blank check with no money in the bank account.” Winning!

R/I Challenge: The Spit & Spell – Another challenge from the way-back machine. In this one, three tribe members are strapped to a wheel that dips them underwater. Each dunk-ee spits a mouthful of water into a tube that fills and releases a ball down a chute. At the bottom, someone solves a maze puzzle and rolls the ball through the maze. Winning tribe gets comfort items for camp and immunity.

There’s been talk around the water cooler at BugZappa about throwing the challenge and getting rid of Russell. A “thumbs up” sign means that the fix is in. Two thumbs up means the fix is off. Touching your baseball cap and then grabbing your crotch indicates a suicide squeeze . . . and the need for ointment. BugZappa throws it, Oompa Loompa wins it and Russell Hantz looks around suspiciously.

Back at camp Russell does some counting on his Hobbit toes and figures that his alliance needs some help for the vote. Stephanie does a dead-on Squeaky Fromme impersonation and with eyes blazing, seems to pull Julie into the loop. Not bad for someone that Russell couldn’t identify by name five minutes ago. Stephanie tells us that “This is going to be the biggest blindside EVER!”

Unfortunately, she seems to have irony poor blood.

Tribal Thumping – It’s BugZappa’s first Tribal Council and Jiffy’s probing questions massage opinions out of some players who we thought to be Survivor’s version of “seat fillers”. Mike admits that during the Challenge they might not have given it 100%, but contends that "we have some fat on this tribe.”

Julie announces her desire to join the Russell harem, saying that she “would like to merge with as many people as possible.” (She will definitely be checking out eHarmony when she gets back to camp.) Stephanie spouts more crazy than the first six floors of Bellevue Hospital and Rooster mumbles something that would keep a team of translators busy for a week.

Jiffy points at Russell’s arm and asks for an explanation. Russell doesn’t comment on his rash decisions, but instead shows off his “Keep Hope Alive” tattoo. The first vote ends in a three way tie between Russell, Ralph and Stephanie. The re-vote kills off hope and sends Russell Hantz to Redemption Island.

Russell’s ominous “I’ll be back – and I’ll be ready” is topped only by the insane Stephanie, who glares at Julie and intones, “Storm’s a comin’.”




Mark "no Chuck Lorre vanity card here" Burnett
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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 Island Chat suzzee 03-03-11 1
  Ha! jbug 03-03-11 2
   RE: Ha! qwertypie 03-03-11 5
   RE: Ha! suzzee 03-03-11 6
   RE: Ha! michel 03-03-11 15
 The Day After, kingfish 03-03-11 3
   Hey who you callin' a lady? suzzee 03-03-11 7
       RE: Hey who you callin' a lady? Ontheroadagain 03-07-11 45
           RE: Hey who you callin' a lady? RollDdice 03-08-11 47
   RE: The Day After, michel 03-03-11 16
       RE: The Day After, Sunny_Bunny 03-04-11 23
           RE: The Day After, michel 03-05-11 35
 RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’v... Molaholic 03-03-11 4
   RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’v... RollDdice 03-03-11 17
 RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’v... dabo 03-03-11 8
   RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’v... RollDdice 03-03-11 9
   RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’v... suzzee 03-03-11 10
 New Island Motto suzzee 03-03-11 11
 Go Russell! Gooooo Russell!!!! moonbaby 03-03-11 12
   RE: Go Russell! Gooooo Russell!!!! kingfish 03-03-11 13
 RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’v... Belle Book 03-03-11 14
   RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’v... michel 03-03-11 18
       RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’v... Belle Book 03-04-11 28
           RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’v... dabo 03-08-11 48
 RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’v... michel 03-03-11 19
 How about that comeback? Spanky68 03-04-11 20
   RE: How about that comeback? suzzee 03-04-11 21
 RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’v... samboohoo 03-04-11 22
   RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’v... RollDdice 03-04-11 24
   RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’v... suzzee 03-04-11 26
 The Leader of the Pack kingfish 03-04-11 25
   RE: The Leader of the Pack RollDdice 03-04-11 27
 RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’v... MissMyth 03-04-11 29
   RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’v... Karchita 03-04-11 31
       RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’v... MissMyth 03-05-11 33
           RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’v... Karchita 03-05-11 34
 BTS Housekeeping - Those Booted fro... RollDdice 03-04-11 30
   RE: BTS Housekeeping - Those Booted... Karchita 03-05-11 39
       RE: BTS Housekeeping - Those Booted... RollDdice 03-06-11 41
 RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’v... PsychoKitty 03-04-11 32
   Island Chat suzzee 03-05-11 36
       Who ya gonna call? RollDdice 03-05-11 38
 There's a certain aroma.. kingfish 03-05-11 37
   RE: There's a certain aroma.. suzzee 03-06-11 40
 Distress kingfish 03-06-11 42
   RE: Distress(ing) suzzee 03-06-11 43
 Spoiler kingfish 03-06-11 44
 Night time is the right time kingfish 03-07-11 46
   RE: Night time is the right time suzzee 03-09-11 49
 RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’v... kingfish 03-09-11 50

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-03-11, 09:06 AM (EST)
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1. "Island Chat"
>Ding ding< oh never mind bellhop, this guy's checking in with no luggage. Generally we frown on that and we do not have hourly rates sir. Please sign in and leave your ethics in the Island safe.

Well I've got Keanu (not Phillip) settled in our surf suite and we're waiting for The Great Challenge >toot<.

to be continued.....


Hey! Who moved the island?


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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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03-03-11, 11:36 AM (EST)
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2. " Ha!"
I may have been practically invisible to the viewers for the first few weeks, but I was quietly working on building the strength and solidity of my Zap6.

Now you may think telling RussHell that little fib about Fran winning the duel was useless but...
it was worth any price to see the expression on his face when he gets there and sees Matt instead. I'll see it when I get to watch this whole thing with all the viewers you know.
And? I might just pull the colored rock and get to go watch Matt duel Russ. What a sight that will be to say goodbye to Russ twice!


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03-03-11, 02:41 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Ha!"

Nothing like flying under the radar huh?

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-03-11, 02:53 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Ha!"
I had the lights dimmed for the first Redemption Island blind date. Here comes Russell all nicely shaved and coiffed for a snuggle with the lovely Francheeseka.

Eeeek he says when he discovers it's Matt's Hideaway. Now he regrets the first close shave he had. I hope his luxury item is some salve.

I hope they give him a tarp to sleep on. I don't want that oozing armpit on my nice clean sand.


Hey! Who moved the island?


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-03-11, 10:16 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Ha!"
Chteve, dat wus a chooper id.


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-03-11, 01:58 PM (EST)
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3. "The Day After, "
LAST EDITED ON 03-03-11 AT 05:02 PM (EST)


As the dust settles on our little band of survivors.

I have established my central Spoiler to the Stars switchboard here at the International School for Raunchy Girls. It's a temporary move, but may become permanent if the Marshals don't catch on. For security reasons, I had to resort to this old technology on the premise that if all Feds are as dumb as Phillip, this is all I need. In fact, this is probably overkill.

Here, all spoilers from my source (*not-Russell) will be collected, edited, sometimes spat upon (Hey! I was in a mood that day, the guy pisses me off sometimes!) and published for you, my gentle and monetarily unappreciative readers (No Personal checks, please, cash preferred, but PayBud works fine too). I make my living with these spoilers, so as a professional and a person of integrity, you can believe me unreservedly, as if I were God, the Pope, and the Coach all in one.

Spoiler #1: Jiffy Pop is forced to issue a Survivor's decoder ring to decode Ralph. The EPMB discovered that JP alone has this singular interpretive talent.

i.e.:

"Rooster> "meushd flekeurn ahfalieyr ncljrktynpoieriihj!."

JP> "You say there are divisions in your tribe?"

Rooster> "Yuh. That!"

JP> "What is Russell doing to help the tribe, Ralph?"

Rooster> "hedda nooa cach dea afish and he a notta getch woulde"

JP> "I think what Ralph said was he doesn't catch fish and he doesn't get wood". (It is later learned that JP is just trying to impress the Cute Native Medical girl with his language skills, which as this demonstration proves, are actually very impressive. FWIW, they do hook up and become an item on the Hollywood social scene. She likes men in blue.)

Spoiler #2: The work strike by the HIIs has been called off, at least temporarily. They reserve the right to strike again if Russell manages to return. This however would require him to put forth some effort at winning the Redemption Island challenge, and is thus very unlikely in light of his previous showings. Labor negotiations, however, are cancelled for the time being.

Spoiler #3: Redemption Island is threatening to go on strike if the mentally and physically diseased Russell isn't evicted soon. Says she (the Island is a she, as anybody knows) "Get that scum sucking son of a scum sucking disease ridden egotistal maniac off my shore, I did not sign up for this. He's stinky. And icky. And has pooh in his pants!"

Spoiler #4: Andrea places her little GodFadda doll in a safe place after reinserting the pins in a particularly painful place on the doll. And smiles. Marie Lavoe smiles thru her eyes and Andrea ceases to cast a shadow. (Ed Note: she's still kinda hot, though, just naughtier).

Spoiler #5: Stephanie catches "Phillip Mouth". Not an easy disease to overcome.

Spoiler #6: Steve's plotting continues. After the diabolically brilliant and at the same time incredibly lame plan of misleading Russell as to who won at Redemption Island, designed to shock Russell to the point where he cannot possibly win the challenge (Oh the evilness...), he lays out his next even more diabolical and even more lame plan, making Stephanie think that her fake HII is actually the real one. Oooohhh....diabolical.....ooohhhh!

Spoiler #7: A new character is introduced to the Island. "Russell's Boils." They actually become animate.

(* legal disclaimer.)



Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-03-11, 03:03 PM (EST)
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7. "Hey who you callin' a lady?"
Nope, no banana trees on me.

I do think I will wish for a torrential rain so that Typhoid Russell's pit zits don't cause me to be quarantined. How icky, he's oozing. I'm calling the EPA.


Hey! Who moved the island?


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Ontheroadagain 923 desperate attention whore postings
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03-07-11, 12:31 PM (EST)
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45. "RE: Hey who you callin' a lady?"
Hey,, where's EPMB? I assume I get paid double to run an extra challenge over at Recyle Island!


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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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03-08-11, 01:12 PM (EST)
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47. "RE: Hey who you callin' a lady?"
Hey, where's EPMB? I assume I get paid double to run an extra challenge over at Recyle Island!

Jeez, can't anyone read a contract anymore? In consideration of your extra work, you've agreed to get two interns/love slaves back at the Ponderosa (gender and sexual proclivities to be determined by your whims and twisted desires). I've also agreed to speed up the Dry Cleaning service on your khakis and camp shirts to three days.

Isn't that fair? The only other guy making big bucks, wearing shorts and starring on a primetime CBS show is Charlie Sheen.



Mark "Budget down, profits up" Burnett
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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-03-11, 10:27 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: The Day After, "
Piggy, I shee dat ya dont here goulde. I shaid:

"hedda nooa cach dea afish and he a notta getch woulde".

Ai'll shpell it hout fore ya: Ressell got a desease from a dhead fish and he kant get his woulde up.

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Sunny_Bunny 5581 desperate attention whore postings
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03-04-11, 12:41 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: The Day After, "
You know Rooster, one day when you learn how to speak, I might be able to interview you.


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-11, 03:30 AM (EST)
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35. "RE: The Day After, "
Ah make goulde TV. Not ma fauhte if ya cant intaview us country fauks. Damn city nouse.


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03-03-11, 02:31 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
What a wonderful review. Enough snark for everyone. So, here's today's challenge:

How many nifty movie/TV/popular things-a-going-on references are included in the cube's little missive?

Inquiring Minds Want to Know...

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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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03-03-11, 10:29 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
How many nifty movie/TV/popular things-a-going-on references are included in the cube's little missive?

A most excellent challenge, Mole.
I would love to see some guesses or careful counts.

BTW, I like to think of it as a massive missive. Please indulge me.




Ah, China. When life was simpler and the food was good.
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03-03-11, 03:08 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
The gorillion sleeps on his throne, it is good to be the gorillion. I am a man of my word when I can get it out of my mouth. Did you see how I got Rob to fix my throne! That's power.


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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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03-03-11, 03:23 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the gorillion sleeps tonight...

Ah wimbah way, Ah wimbah way {repeat ad nauseum}



Mark "T-Bone" Burnett
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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-03-11, 05:17 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
Hey I could have sat in the chair too. Apparently my 15 minutes are up. I have to do something stupid so I can get back on camera. Any suggestions Phil? Coach? Charlie Sheen?



Picking great alliances since Episode 1!

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-03-11, 05:22 PM (EST)
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11. "New Island Motto"
LAST EDITED ON 03-03-11 AT 05:23 PM (EST)

Recycle Island. Reusing the players, the props, and the premise.
Saving Survivor the planet one island at a time.


Hey! Who moved the island?


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03-03-11, 05:52 PM (EST)
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12. "Go Russell! Gooooo Russell!!!!"
GO GO GO!!!!!
Um...wait. Where did he go?

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-03-11, 07:16 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Go Russell! Gooooo Russell!!!!"
LAST EDITED ON 03-03-11 AT 10:17 PM (EST)

Spoiler: Krista was reported missing right after TC by the Survivor MPs. She was last seen desperately holding onto Russell's ankle while being dragged off to Loser Island after beating Stephanie off with a stick for the privilege.

Steph was game alright and put up a good fight, but she just didn't have enough Rah Rah Go Team Go!" team spirit.




Tribal Art


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03-03-11, 09:52 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
Omg, the Troll's gone! OMG, THE TROLL IS GONE! Oh happy day! Now I just hope Matt knocks the Troll out of the game. If that happens, I'll be the happiest camper ever!


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03-03-11, 10:31 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
Hush! Ya sappose to be in ma poket but if ya cheer dey'll hear ya.


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03-04-11, 06:01 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
Sorry. I'm just having a hard time containing myself. Tell you what, if we go to Redemption Island together and see Troll get burned by Matt, you can take me into a nice secluded clearing and I can cheer all I want -- including singing this song:

"Na-na-na-nah, Na-na-na-nah, Hey hey, hey, Good-bye!"


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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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03-08-11, 03:18 PM (EST)
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48. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
Is that another of your dyslipstic clews? If I squint I see arrows.


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-03-11, 10:39 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
Did you see how skilled I am? My hands never moved but my brain was working. That's how I charge my clients: By the thought. You do not want to receive a bill from me.


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03-04-11, 00:58 AM (EST)
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20. "How about that comeback?"
Did you see how I came from behind to beat Franchesqua? That one won't be my last. Rob, I am going to come back and make you regret booting me. Right after I give Russell a final boot.

Andrea, sweety...wait for me, my love. I will always come for you. Don't give up on me just because I am dead...well, dead to the tribe anyway. Death can't stop true love.
***Flashes his best Wesley smile***


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-04-11, 09:08 AM (EST)
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21. "RE: How about that comeback?"
Hey, you might want to sleep on the beach. I don't know what the troll has but it might be contagious. Your squeeze might get a little grossed out if that stuff is all over you. Hope the challenge isn't full body contact wrestling. eeeww


Hey! Who moved the island?


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03-04-11, 11:13 AM (EST)
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22. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
*gulp, spit, gulp, spit, gulp, spit*


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03-04-11, 01:08 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
LAST EDITED ON 03-04-11 AT 09:04 PM (EST)

*gulp, spit, gulp, spit, gulp, spit*

I'll take that as a compliment for the Challenge Design Team. We do try to design Challenges that reflect your interests.



Mark "The Snark" Burnett
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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-04-11, 02:59 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
OMG that was hilarious!!!
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03-04-11, 02:25 PM (EST)
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25. "The Leader of the Pack"
A New Day has Dawned. As it often does"

Here at the MissyPissy School for Nice and Raunchy Girls we aspire to achieve the very highest levels of Raunchiety, and in order to convince people in the towns around us of our evilness, occasionally we have to hop on our Vespas and take over a town, tearing up its bars, drinking it's lemonade, and generally creating real heck for the townspeople. We break glass bottles at the swimming pool, and we run with scissors in our hands! We beat the men, women, and children. We put shock collars on the mayor and and councilmen, and make them put on pink frocks and whimper on their knees.

That's what we did this morning after breakfast. And when we returned from our tearing up of another innocent town, I found another message from my spoiler source (*who is definitely not Russell) waiting for me. After dipping it in alcohol and zapping it with 10 minutes of disinfecting microwaves (there were icky pus marks on it, ewww..), I pass it on to you (no returns allowed).

Spoiler #1: Stephanie's mouth is still moving. Words stopped coming out a while back, but before she became completely inaudible, tribemates could hear her whisper "Russ-bud, Russ-bud...".

Spoiler #2: Natalie was voted Most Valuable Gulp-Spitter in her tribe upon her return to camp. The men are in awe.

Spoiler #3: Francesca's Ghost hovers. It whispers in Andrea's ear..."Phillip must die, Phillip must die." Also she can be heard lamenting, "Why couldn't I have had one more inch?". (The island God slaps it's knee and exclaims, "That's what she said, haw haw haw!" - A little Island God humor there).

Spoiler #4: The spirits of the HIIs are elated that Russell is at least partially gone. However, the fact that they still have "The Red Underwear Torture" possibly in their future as well as the nightmare known as "Hairy Butt Crack" happening now is causing concern in the HII community. The HIIs come to the belated realization that life is definitely not fair, and that they should really demand a raise for putting up with this bunch.

Spoiler #5: GadFadda is deep into his latest complicated multi-layered scheme. However no one, least of all the Gadfadda has any idea what it is.

Spoiler #6: Rooster Crows at the Break of Dawn. As he strains to get out the last "arooo", he lays an egg. A brown egg. In fact he lays a trail of brown eggs. The Ghost of Jane gathers them up and attempts to boil them in her private fire.

Spoiler #7: Russell is still explaining how he is the best survivor of all time, and how getting to Redemption Island was just part of his plan. And how he doesn't need a majority, he will win with just his band of two bitches.

And so it goes.

(Hey Goober!)


(* legal disclaimer.)



Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}


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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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03-04-11, 04:11 PM (EST)
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27. "RE: The Leader of the Pack"
...tribemates could hear her whisper "Russ-bud, Russ-bud...".

Oh, that's good. MissyPissy, you are en fuego!




Mark "Wish I had thought of that" Burnett
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MissMyth 352 desperate attention whore postings
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03-04-11, 08:12 PM (EST)
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29. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
“Storm’s a comin’.”
You hear that, old lady? Storm's! A! Comin'! And Russhell's comin' with it!


>

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Karchita 4469 desperate attention whore postings
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03-04-11, 11:23 PM (EST)
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31. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
You may be toast or you may be a goat. But this much is certain: We don't like you and we outnumber you and you will not win. Now sit down and STFU.


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MissMyth 352 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-11, 01:01 AM (EST)
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33. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
Ah, excuse me! Are you interrupting me before I've finished threatening people in the name of my father who art on Redemption Island?

>

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Karchita 4469 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-11, 03:29 AM (EST)
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34. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
Who me? No, please keep talking. 'Cause you're digging your own grave the more you spew. Ha.

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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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03-04-11, 09:29 PM (EST)
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30. "BTS Housekeeping - Those Booted from Redemption Island"
LAST EDITED ON 03-04-11 AT 11:31 PM (EST)

Tribe was nice enough to provide "Ghosts of the Burnt Buff" sig pics for those who have been booted from Redemption Island. Ghosts are still able to comment, taunt the living and generally be a PITA.

It's only Francesca so far, but her new sig will be found here: http://community.realitytvworld.com/boards/DCForumID1/4109.shtml(post #76.)

Thank you for your kind attention. You may now feel free to resume your pillow fights.



Your Host.... Mark Burnett

Update: Psycho Kitty is in as the Ghost of Francesca Past. You have been warned.

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Karchita 4469 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-11, 03:13 PM (EST)
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39. "RE: BTS Housekeeping - Those Booted from Redemption Island"
*bashes Rolly over the head with a pillow*

*runs away*


Well, this is the place for bashing, you know.


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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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03-06-11, 12:28 PM (EST)
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41. "RE: BTS Housekeeping - Those Booted from Redemption Island"
*bashes Rolly over the head with a pillow*

*runs away*

That might have hurt if I wasn't a total frickin’ rock star from Mars.©

© Charlie & The Goddesses, Inc.



Mark "The Snark" Burnett
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PsychoKitty 678 desperate attention whore postings
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03-04-11, 11:41 PM (EST)
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32. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
Gosh! I could have really used a dose of that Grade A Tiger's Blood! All I had was a couple of hermit crabs! So much for beating Matt's a$$!

Well, hope Philip and Matt have some fun rompin' in my old bed . . . they've GOT to vote Philip out next! WTF - how could they have voted Matt out? I could have taken "ol' crazy" out. He couldn't even say my name!

Hmmm . . . time for some Reese's peanut butter cups! Loser Lodge here I come! Maybe they'll have some practice flint there . . .

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-11, 11:29 AM (EST)
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36. "Island Chat"
Great, now I'm haunted. I'm reeling from the feeling. So be it, your 15 minutes have been extended indefinitely. Boy is it going to get busy around here.


Hey! Who moved the island?


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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-11, 01:16 PM (EST)
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38. "Who ya gonna call?"



Mark "Don't cross the streams" Burnett
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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-11, 01:10 PM (EST)
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37. "There's a certain aroma.."
The Skinky Smell Of Abscess

The smell of the burnt buff.

Today I took my tea in the musty basement here at the MissyPissy School for Nice and Raunchy Girls. Here are rats and roaches galore, spider webs and ghosts and more, but I do this for the betterment of all Raunchygirl-kind.

I need to examine a little more in depth the origin of a particular and peculiar ritual we have here called the "Stinking Game". For some reason, it has been the custom to, on this day of the year, herd the worst (thus the best) of the raunchy girls down here to test their vileness.

They are made to smell the armpits of a short fat bulbous bald man with a bad attitude and who hasn't changed or washed his underwear for a month while living on a lonely island with a bunch of putrid castaways (and some hot chicks with anger management issues).

Whoever lives wins the title of Raunchiest Girl of 20xx", They get to wear the "Red Underwear of The Psycho" on their head, and are waited on by two psycho servants for one year. They are referred to as "Blond Bitches"

I myself am the only "three peat" winner in School history (TYVM) thanks to my allergies and stopped up nose, and rather than go for a fourth title, I retired with the title of Grand Master Raunchy Girl, and the whole school became my bitch.

Cool, Huh!

And as Grand Master lah de dah, I get to pass on spoilers from my source (*Not-Russell).

Spoiler #1: The Ghost of Francesca turns out to be a real Psycho.

Spoiler #2: The Ghost of Jane gets violently ill after eating Rooster's "brown" eggs. (Ed note: yeah, ghosts eating eggs and getting ill, even Rooster's "brown" eggs, is inconsistent with ghost lore, but hey, what can you do? Jane is and always will be an odd duck. And a tough old bird.)

Spoiler #3:
Rooster> "mejs noke likeee shat letile Fat guyser. Whereum hebe?"

JP, (gets out his decoder ring)"Shue means shat letile Russile? Hesh gonda atto shat Lestile ishlansd. Heck hebede gond. Shoe digit no?"

Rooster> "Thankee do, Shi Wundered."

Spoiler #4: Stephanie's got her voice back, but she kept on explaining how Russell was their best friend and how he knows all and how he will have his revenge and how she doesn't want to be around when he does get back because...(oopsies, footsie in mouthie, once again).

Spoiler #5: The Phil-ratio keeps increasing. He has gone from thinking that he works for the Gadfadda to thinking that he's the Gadfadda's tool. (EPMB has a rare giggle, as do we all).


(* legal disclaimer.)



Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-06-11, 11:13 AM (EST)
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40. "RE: There's a certain aroma.."
How many box tops for that decoder ring?

HEY I'm still here camera guy, woo hoo, lookie here I'm gonna do something. HEY! I said....oh never mind, I gotta go find the idol again.


Picking great alliances since Episode 1!


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-06-11, 03:03 PM (EST)
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42. "Distress"
LAST EDITED ON 03-06-11 AT 03:04 PM (EST)

A Trip to the Doctor

Your favorite Sourced Spoiler to the Stars, MissyPissy, had to visit the doctor today. She felt real bad, and complained to the doc about having to hit the pooper four times before lunch that day. The doctor took temperatures, blood pressures, checked the uvula, and finally declared "MissyPissy you aren't sick, you're just full of shit!".

So with that diagnosis in, I feel ready to hit the sourced spoiler boards full of gusto, as well as full of, well you know.

Spoiler #1: Russell was booted from the tribe and forced to visit Redemption Island (old news), Redemption Island Said "Whut?"

Spoiler #2 After she became a Ghost, Francesca was able to look inside Phillips head, to try and see what makes him tick, Inside, she saw the Ghost of Phillip's brain. Wearing red underwear.

Spoiler #3: The night shift camera man caught Andrea sneaking up on a sleeping Gadfadda. Before she could cause any trouble she was restrained, and she claimed she was only going to remove his hat. With the machete.

Spoiler #4: Russell will get a new Tattoo, "Matt's bitch".

(* legal disclaimer.)



Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-06-11, 05:49 PM (EST)
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43. "RE: Distress(ing)"
Finally I got my Island Press Credentials validated.

Sock: Missy, in reference to your item #3, was the machete sharpened or dull or dipped in the sweat of Andrea and Matt's love frogs? Let's dish.....


Interviewer to the Stars

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-06-11, 08:51 PM (EST)
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44. "Spoiler"
Spoiler: The Ghost of NaaOnka returns, steals an orange, then quits again.

(* legal disclaimer.)



Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-07-11, 12:58 PM (EST)
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46. "Night time is the right time"
Zen and the Art of Corralling Cats

Here at the MissyPissy Institute for Nice, Naughty, and Really Raunchy Girls, we are are encouraged with bullwhips to attend classes in various disciplines, all designed to allow released inmates to earn a living and be productive members of society. For example, there's Mind Melding, Basket Weaving, Vespa Maintenance, Hallucinogenic Toad Milking, Lock Picking, and Making Cute Crap Out of Garbage.

And we teach each student how to sneak around in the dark naked, clutching clothes and shoes, not making any noise, and tiptoeing out of the house while not stepping on the cat. I myself introduced this to our curriculum because of an unfortunate incident where having this skill would have been very convenient.

Andrea could have used this skill also, as witness by the incident in the Survivor Oompa Loompa camp, according to my Spoiler Source (*not Russell).

Spoiler #1: Animosity for GadFadda has Andrea up again at night, this time she was catching small frogs and whittling little darts. As before, the night shift camera man stopped her before she could carry out her scheme. Although the night before the EPMB had actually considered allowing her go through with the beheading of the GadFadda (revealed by Emails intercepted by WikiPeeks) they decided it would be better TV to see how the Voodoo thing turned out, instead. The poison dart plot would be plan B.


Spoiler #2: Russell shows up at Redemption Island, and the Pygmies at first claim him as one of their own. Then, after a whiff, they decide he must be a just pile of poop that the white man dumped on their island. They showed no surprise at this because the White man was always dumping foul smelling braggarts on them. They had hoped that the White Man would ease up after the incidents with Coach, but they were wrong.

Spoiler #3: While Mike is grooming Rooster's fur, A spark pops out of the fire onto Rooster starting a brush fire. Julie saved the day, however when she picked them both up in a fireman's carry, one across each shoulder, and threw them into the water, safely extinguishing what was by then a raging inferno on Roosters neck.

Roster is heard to exclaim "Houg gondjit, adje hapkenski jere? Janks, Janks ajot, Juljie. Shat wers some feire!"

No one had a decoder ring, so that went untranslated.

Spoiler #4: Before the fire however, Mike did manage to pick off a bag full of bugs from Rooster's pelt, enough to make a dinner that night of smoked ticks and fleas. Au Jus.


(* legal disclaimer.)



Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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03-09-11, 09:03 AM (EST)
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49. "RE: Night time is the right time"
*not Russell

Dearest MissyP,

Your observations are duly noted and hilariously appreciated.

Observant Monkey

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-09-11, 02:25 PM (EST)
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50. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep03: ‘I’ve Got Tiger Blood And A Rash’"
LAST EDITED ON 03-09-11 AT 06:14 PM (EST)

A Tiger Rash Drags it's Tail

Once again The MissyPissy School for Really Raunchy Girls has developed a unique method of bringing the works of the great authors home to it's students. Members of our brother academy's fraternity (The Sticky Boys, aka Tau Sigma Beta) are kidnapped (our version of a reverse pantie raid, we call it a wussy raid), the names of various authors are stenciled on their foreheads and they are hoisted by their heels on various flagpoles around the campus. They pretend to complain, but we know they are just play-acting. They are very good at this phase of the game. They cry very convincingly, and they can bleed on cue.

The girls are to guess which author wrote the story that is suggested by the circumstances of the plight in which their fraternity president finds himself. Then they have to figure out how to save the imperiled president.

This Year the Sticky Boy with "Poe" on his forehead will have in his pocket the key to the dungeon door behind which their President is tied to a table. Above him swings large and very sharp pendulum. You guessed, it, it lowers slightly with each swing. And he cries. Pitiful, really.

The Raunchy Girls are supposed to guess which Sticky Boy has the key, lower him, open the Dungeon door, and untie the Fraternity president before he is sliced in to two large pieces.

While they try and solve their puzzle, I, You Sourced spoiler to the Stars will pass along spoilers recently obtained from my source (*Not Russell).

Spoiler #1 Russell interrogated Matt about the last challenge. Matt mentioned that he had to tie a string around his pole and stick it out as far as he could. Fortunately, Francesca didn't have a very good pole, and Matt won. Russell spent the night practicing with his pole. A least that's what the night shift cameraman thinks he did. The pygmies took pictures.

Spoiler #2 Andrea's little projects progressed. She has a whole quiver full of poison darts ready, and she violently punished her little GadFadda voodoo doll every night. The GadFadda should really have one hell of a headache by now. And needless to say, it's penis/balls were the first to feel her wrath, and are now in a ju-ju bag hanging around her neck. If Andrea's ministrations (ala Marie Lavoe) are successful, Russell will become eligible for enrollment MissyPissy's School for Really Raunchy Girls. (Please, no one mention this to him. Please?).

Spoiler #3 The Ghost of Francesca is preparing a wooden stake, a silver bullet, and commitment papers to the loony bin for Phillip. She's enlisted the help of the Ghost of NaOnka, they gonna go "Ghetto" on Phillip when this game is over.

Spoiler #4 The Ghost of Rupert was seen hanging around the TC site. He needs another Million "for his kids" (wink wink). Actually Rupert has a gambling habit. You can catch him (losing to the Ghost of Robert) on "Head to Head Poker" on another channel.

Spoiler #5 Mike continues to feed his tribe on the bounty of bugs he finds in Ralph's pelt. Resourceful lad, that Mike. Jiffy Pop comments that he could go far in this game if he continues to be the camp provider. The ghosts of all past survivors "Ralph" in unison.

Spoiler #6 Stephanie built a shrine to her God, Russell. Her camp-mates had hoped that this would shut her up, but alas, she began praying non-stop to her Russ-Bud.

(* legal disclaimer.)



Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}

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